Logan stayed at the mansion only long enough for Red to confirm that Marie was going to be all right. He had wanted to heal Marie himself like he had the time she had been shot, but her powers had been off so all that Logan had been able to do was stand by helplessly as Red and some big blue furball had worked to save two lives.
According to Red, it was still too early to determine whether anything had happened to the baby. She was optimistic, though. Red told him repeatedly that he had stabbed Marie high on her stomach and had most likely missed the placenta. The fact that Marie was only bleeding from the stab wounds was a very good sign. Logan had still been unsure and had hightailed it out of the mansion on One-Eye’s bike, convinced that Marie would want nothing to do with him after what had happened.
With only the clothes on his back and One-Eye’s motorcycle, Logan had quickly caught up with the fight circuit. He fought his way from city to city, barely sleeping.
Barely existing.
Logan spent his every day existence in a constant haze. He didn’t know how much time had passed since the day he left the mansion. Logan existed merely from one fight to the next. He ignored everything else around him. The men that he fought, the woman who attempted to seduce him nightly. Logan cared about nothing.
It was only the night that he couldn’t escape.
Every time that he closed his eyes, all that Logan could see was Marie’s face. The shock and pain that had been so clearly written across her features when he had stabbed her in the stomach. Over and over again he was forced to watch as he stabbed Marie, mostly likely killing their baby. Logan would never be able to forgive himself for killing their child. Marie had only been pregnant for a few days, but the child had existed nonetheless. At least it had until he’d killed it.
Most of the time, Logan didn’t even care whether he won or lost the fights. For the first time that anyone on the fight circuit could remember, Logan was actually losing fights. The only time he really tried to win was when he fought an opponent who was not only bigger than him, but had a shock of long blonde hair. As close to Creed as he could get. Those people, Logan pummeled to within an inch of their life and had to be pulled away by the bar’s bouncers.
Those bouts of madness earned Logan a far more sinister reputation that he’d had before. There was always a question of whether Logan would go berzerker on whoever had enough guts to challenge him.
On nights when Logan was indifferent to whether he lost or won, he ended up returning to his hotel room covered in blood and still healing injuries. Because of its constant abuse, it normally took overnight for Logan’s injuries to heal completely. He didn’t mind it, though, because the linger pain allowed him to slip into a deep sleep that not even his nightmares could penetrate.
“Oh mah Gawd!”
At the sound of Marie’s voice, Logan’s head shot up. He cocked his head to the side, staring at her out of his good eye. The other one was swollen shut from repeated blows from four of his opponents that night.
“Marie?” Logan whispered, unable to believe that Marie was really there. She had to be a figment of his imagination. He’d received too many blows to the head and was hallucinating.
The feel of Marie’s hands on his face told Logan otherwise.
Logan jerked back instinctively, pressing himself against the closed door. “Are you real?”
Tears filling her eyes, Marie cupped his face in her right hand, lightly stroking his high cheekbone. “Ah’m real, sugah. Ah’m right here, Logan an’ Ah’m not goin’ anywhere without ya.”
Sniffling loudly, Logan’s gaze drifted to Marie’s stomach. What he saw there brought tears to his eyes.
Marie’s stomach was completely flat.
“Nooo,” Logan moaned, dropping to the ground in a boneless heap.
It was true. He had killed his child. Because of his fucking mutation and damned animal instincts, he had killed his child. A little person that had never even gotten a chance to live. When Marie tried to gather him up in her arms, Logan squirmed away, pulling himself into a corner.
“Logan, it’s all right. The baby’s all right. Ya didn’t hurt the baby,” Marie whispered as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling his body against hers.
Logan shook his head vehemently, weakly struggling to pull away from her. “No. I killed the baby. It’s all my fault. I hurt you and I killed the baby. I didn’t mean to. I swear to you that I didn’t mean to kill the baby. I would never do anything to hurt you. Never.”
“Ah know ya wouldn’t, sugah. That’s why Ah’m here,” Marie assured him, pressing a kiss to the back of his throat. “Ah woulda come here sooner, but Jeanie had me be real careful after what happened. It was a real close thing, but ya didn’t hurt the baby one little bit. He’s perfect. ‘Course Ah might just be a little biased, but everyone else seems t’ agree with me.”
“It’s a boy?” Logan asked, staring up at Marie’s face.
Marie nodded her head, grinning broadly. “Griffin James Hunters. Seven pounds, ten ounces. He has dark brown hair an’ these beautiful blue eyes that remind me a lot of mah momma’s. Jeanie says that his eyes’ll probably change colours in the next couple months, but Ah like ‘em just how they are. He’s in the next room with Kurt if ya’d like t’ meet him.”
“Marie, I.... I don’t.... can’t... I.....” Logan stammered, turning his head away from Marie.
Grabbing hold of his chin, Marie turned Logan’s face back towards hers. “Ah’m not takin’ no fer an answer, Logan. So how ‘bout ya go have a shower an’ wash all that blood off o’ ya while Ah go get Griffin.”
Logan tried to protest, but Marie would hear nothing of it. She all but hauled him to his feet and guided him to the small bathroom on the other side of his hotel room. Marie helped him out of his torn and bloodied clothes, leading him into the shower. Before Logan was even completely aware of what was going on, Marie was naked and in the shower with him.
“Ya look like ya’ve had a rough ten months,” Marie murmured as she carefully used a wash cloth to wipe away the blood smeared on his chest. “Ah really wish that ya hadn’t run away like ya did. Ah was real worried ‘bout ya. Bein’ out on yer own in yer state o’ mind.”
“I didn’t deserve to be near you. I thought I’d killed the baby,” Logan told her, lowering his head onto her shoulder.
Marie wrapped her arms around his shoulders, holding him tightly as she pressed several soft kisses to his shoulder. “Yer bein’ too hard on yerself, sugah. It was an accident. Ah didn’t blame ya fer one instant. Not even just after it happened.”
“You should have,” Logan mumbled, unable to stop the tears that were beginning to slide down his cheeks. “I coulda killed ya, Marie. You and the baby coulda been dead and it woulda been my fault. No one else’s.”
Marie’s lips brushed against his temple. “Yer bein’ too hard on yerself, sugah. Can ya honestly tell me that ya stabbed me on purpose...? Ah thought not. Ya didn’t mean t’ do it, sugah. It’s like me blamin’ mahself fer almost gettin’ ya killed by Erik. Ah didn’t want ya t’ get hurt, but it happened just the same.”
“But that wasn’t your fault,” Logan cried, jerking his head up quickly. “You didn’t know what would happen.”
“That’s exactly mah point. Ah shoulda known better than t’ sneak up on ya when ya were in protector mode. But Ah did it anyway an’ ya reacted on instinct. It’s who ya are, Logan. Ah can’t blame ya fer that,” Marie whispered, staring intently at his face. Cupping his cheeks, she lowered his head and pressed a kiss to his forehead.
“Nothing will make what I did right,” Logan insisted, frowning down at her. “I shoulda been more careful and realized that it was you.”
“Ah’m not askin’ ya t’ ferget, Logan, ‘cause Ah know yer not gonna. Just like Ah’m not gonna ferget what happened t’ ya because o’ me,” Marie told him, combing her fingers through his wet hair. “All Ah’m askin’ is fer ya t’ fergive yerself. We have a beautiful little boy who needs his daddy. So how ‘bout ya concentrate on bein’ Griffin’s daddy. D’ ya think ya can do that? Fer me?”
All that Logan could do was nod his head. He wrapped his arms around Marie, pulling her flush against him. Marie hugged him back just as tightly, nuzzling her face against his chest. For the first time since he’d left the mansion, Logan actually felt at peace. He still hated himself for what had happened and probably would for a long time, but he had Marie back. She didn’t hate him for what had happened and, to Logan, that meant a lot.
“So what say we go introduce ya t’ our little boy?” Marie suggested a few minutes later.
After a moment’s hesitation, Logan nodded his head. “I’d really like that, Marie.”
Marie pressed a kiss to his chest, giving his waist a quick squeeze. “Good.... Ya know, sugah, that means we hafta get outta the shower now.”