Logan’s hands clasped around her own was the first thing Marie was aware of. The bed felt completely wrong, but Logan was around so they might have just dozed off downstairs. It wouldn’t be the first time.
However, the living room didn’t smell like a sanitized hospital.
“Logan....” Marie moaned, struggling to open her tired eyes.
One hand tightens its grip on hers while Logan’s other hand buried itself in her hair. She could feel his lips on her forehead and took comfort from his nearness. If Logan was there, Marie rationalized, it couldn’t be all that bad. Logan would never let anything happen to her. He would protect her no matter what.
“I’m so sorry, Marie. I never wanted you to get hurt,” Logan whimpered, pressing his face against her stomach.
Hearing the complete and utter anguish in his voice, Marie forced her eyes open. When she saw the tears staining Logan’s cheeks and his red rimmed eyes, Marie knew that it was something awful. As soon as he realized that her eyes were open, Logan started to pull away. Before he could get very far, though, Marie reached out and lightly cupped his cheek. That only seemed to make things worse because as soon as her hand came in contact with her cheek, Logan burst into tears. Loud, hitching sobs that shook his entire body.
“Oh Gawd. Logan, what happened?” Marie pleaded, gripping the back of his neck and massaging the corded muscles.
Looking around for the first time, Marie realized that she was in a hospital room. What was worse, she was the one in the bed. Marie wracked her brains, trying to remember what had happened the night before. Especially what would be terrible enough to land her in the hospital.
To Marie’s horror, she could remember nothing of the night before following the hockey game. She could vaguely recall Logan kissing her goodbye, but that was it. There was nothing. Not a single memory to account for her finding herself in the hospital.
“Logan, what happened?” Marie demanded, tears filling her eyes. “Why am Ah here?”
“I’m so sorry, Marie,” Logan sobbed, shaking his head back and forth. “I never should have left you there. I shoulda stayed with you. It ne-never woulda happened if I’d stayed with... stayed with you.... But no! I had to go watched a fuckin’ hockey game! A hockey game! It would... woulda been easy enough for me t-t-to watch the highlights, but I went home instead. I coulda... coulda protect-protected you and stopped it from happening if I’d stayed with you. I shoulda stayed with you....”
By that point, Logan was crying so hard that he could no longer speak. Marie could tell that he was exhausted. She didn’t doubt that he’d been awake all night. Berating himself for whatever had happened to her. Even though she couldn’t remember what it was that had happened, Marie knew that it was in no way Logan’s fault.
Shifting herself over to the far side of the bed, Marie began to pull on Logan’s shoulders, urging him to join her on the bed. Logan tried to protest, but Marie would hear nothing of it. Too exhausted to put up much of a fight, Marie was eventually able to convince Logan to crawl up beside her. As soon as he was close enough, Logan wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face against her breasts. He was still crying, but not quite as hard as he had been before.
“Logan, what happened, sugah?” Marie murmured, smoothing her fingers through his thick hair. She pressed a kiss against the top of his head when he only whimpered and clutched at her tighter.
It took Logan a few minutes in order to get ahold of himself enough to talk. His voice was still a little uneven when he did start talking, but he was certainly calmer. Logan still refused to meet her eyes. He would look over her shoulder, but not at her face. Marie decided that it was best not to push him for the moment. He’d get to it at his own pace.
“After I left ya, I went back home to watch the hockey game,” Logan began after taking several deep breaths to calm himself. “Didn’t think anything of it. Had no idea what was going on anywhere else. Just grabbed some pizza and a beer and started watchin’ the game. It was going real good, too. Detroit was beating the shit outta Colorado. I left after the first period was over. The way I figured it, if I sped, I could get to the bar and back without missing any of the second. So I went sixty/sixty-five instead o’ thirty. Got to the bar in just over five minutes. Only problem was, you weren’t there....”
Marie’s eyes went wide when she heard that. She knew for a fact that she wouldn’t go anywhere without Logan. Especially not late at night.
“Where was Ah?” Marie asked in a frightened whisper, lightly running her fingers along Logan’s cheek.
Logan shut his eyes tight then, his features contorting into a look of pure agony. “Bernie said he’d saw you leave with Dave a few minutes before. Said you looked a little off and figured Dave was gonna bring you home ‘cause you were drunk.”
“That was nice o’ Dave.”
At that, Logan’s eyes went wide again. He scrambled from the bed and began to pace back and forth. Marie could see an incredible rage boiling inside of Logan, but knew that it wasn’t directed at her. Not with the way he was cursing at Dave under his breath.
“Logan, what happened?” Marie demanded, slowly pushing herself into a seated position. She ignored the lightheaded feeling she got when she sat up, wanting only to wrap her arms around Logan and hold him.
“The fucking bastard tried to rape you,” Logan said in a low hiss, meeting Marie’s eyes for the first time. “He slipped some drug in your drink that knocked you out. He took you back to his house, took off your clothes and was just getting ready to rape you when I got there.”
Marie felt like she’d been punched in the stomach. She refused to believe what she had just heard. It wasn’t possible. Dave would never do something like that to her. Dave was a good kid. Sure he had a crush on her, but he’d never do something like that.
Marie wasn’t even aware that she’d begun to shake until she felt Logan’s arms around her. Needing to feel his solidness, Marie clutched at him desperately. She refused to believe what Logan was saying. It couldn’t be true. Dave wouldn’t do something like that. She tried telling Logan as much, but he only clutched at her tighter, shaking his head.
“I wish to God that it wasn’t true, Marie, but it is,” Logan told her, regret evident in his voice.
Marie shook her head, pulling away so that she could see Logan’s face. “It can’t be true, Logan. It just can’t. Dave would never do somethin’ so awful as that. He really wouldn’t. Ah know Dave. He’s a real sweet kid. He’s just jealous o’ ya. There’s no way he woulda done somethin’ like that. He wouldn’t. Please tell me that this is just some kinda dream. That’s it, isn’t it? This is just an awful dream an’ pretty soon Ah’m gonna wake up in our bed back home. Boris’ll start lickin’ mah face, demandin’ t’ go fer a jog.”
Even as more tears continued to flow down Logan’s cheeks, Marie refused to believe what he had told her. She couldn’t believe it. Believing it meant believing that someone she had considered a friend had done something unthinkable.
“He didn’t get a chance to do anything to you,” Logan was quick to assure her. “You still had all your underwear on when I got there. Even the doctors said that nothing happened to you besides what the drugs did.”
“What did the drugs do?” Marie sniffled, wiping at her cheeks with the backs of her hands.
Logan pressed a kiss to her forehead, pulling Marie into her arms. “It knocked you out. According to the doctors, it’s a muscle relaxant that knocks the person out as well. They also said that you probably won’t remember much of what happened which is probably a good thing. The less you remember about what happened the better.”
Marie tucked her head under Logan’s chin, lightly clutching the front of his shirt in her right hand. She was biting savagely into her lower lip in order to keep herself from bursting into full blown tears. She wanted to stay calm. Marie knew that this was hell on Logan and didn’t want him to worry any more than he already was.
“I know you’re trying to be tough right now, Marie, but you don’t have to be,” Logan murmured in her ear. “I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”
The calmness and the caring in Logan’s words almost made Marie want give in to the swirling emotions that were threatening to overwhelm her. Marie honestly couldn’t figure out what was holding her back. Every single fibre in her body was telling her to let go, but for some reason she wouldn’t allow herself.
Eventually, Logan’s soft touches and whispered words got the better of her and she burst into tears. Logan’s arms went around her instantly, holding her tight against him. Marie buried her face against his throat, wanting nothing more than to disappear inside of him. To pretend that she didn’t exist. Because, if she didn’t exist, then what Dave had done to her wouldn’t exist. Then she really would be at home with Logan and everything would be all right. If she could just close her eyes and pretend long enough, Marie was sure that she could make it true.
“Everything’s gonna be all right, Marie. I swear. I’ll make everything all right. That bastard won’t ever touch you again,” Logan whispered, his lips brushing against her temple as he spoke.
“Can we just pretend that it never happened?” Marie pleaded, her voice muffled against his chest.
Logan’s chest hitched suddenly an Marie knew that he was on the verge of tears once again. “I wish we could, Marie.... Why the fuck, did I go home. I shoulda just stayed with you. This is all my fault, Marie. I’m so sorry. I knew there was something wrong with that kid, but I thought nothing would happen. You were supposed to be safe.”
Marie pulled back so that she could see Logan’s face. The amount of pain that she saw on his face made the situation even worse. Marie didn’t want Logan to hurt because of something that happened to her.
“Ah’m so sorry, Logan,” Marie sobbed, staring at him through tear-stained eyes. “Ah shoulda been more careful. Ah never shoulda let it happen.”
Logan cupped her cheeks in his hand, forcing him to meet her eyes. “This ain’t yer fault, Marie. It ain’t. The only person to blame is Dave. He’s the asshole that deserves to pay for what he did to you. So don’t you dare go blaming yourself for what happened. ‘Cause it ain’t your fault. You hear me, Marie?”
“But--”
Marie was cut off by Logan who pressed his thumb over her lips to silence her. “It’s not your fault, Marie. No ifs, ands or buts about it. So don’t you go blaming yourself for this, Marie. It’s not your fault. It’s not.”
“Ah coulda stopped it,” Marie insisted, shaking her head. “If Ah’d just told him, point blank, that Ah loved ya and that he didn’t have a chance he woulda left it alone.”
“You know that’s not true, Marie. He woulda done it no matter what. The guy’s a bastard and woulda done it no matter what,” Logan told her, wiping away her tears with the pads of his thumbs.
Marie wanted to protest, but was cut off by the door opening and a nurse walking in. Marie glanced at the nurse who only smiled politely then quietly left the room. Marie straightened up, brushing her hair away from her face.
“Ah think a doctor is gonna be comin’ in a few minutes,” Marie murmured, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “A nurse just poked her head in an’ Ah think she’s gonna let the doctor know Ah’m awake now.”
“Good, it’s probably best if the doctor checks you out. Make sure you’re all right,” Logan whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
Marie’s eyes got wide suddenly and she grabbed hold of Logan’s hands. “Yer gonna stay here, right? Yer not gonna go anywhere while the doctor’s in here?”
Logan squeezed both of her hands in his and raised them to his lips to press a kiss on the inside of each palm. “I’ll be here the entire time, Marie. There’s nothing they could do that would make me go away. You got it?”
“Thank you,” Marie whispered, tears shining brightly in her eyes.
Logan smiled brightly and pulled her into his arms. “I’m always gonna be here, Marie. That’s a promise. I won’t let anything bad happen to you ever again.”
Marie wrapped her arms around Logan’s waist, refusing to let go. She pressed her face against his shoulder, breathing in the lingering scent of his cologne. Until that moment, Marie had never thought that the scent of Old Spice would be so comforting. But it was. Especially since she was wrapped in Logan’s arms.
Even though she was fully aware that it was the doctor who would be entering the room, Marie still flinched when she heard the door open.
“It’s okay, Marie. It’s just the doctor,” Logan whispered in her ear, giving her an extra squeeze before letting her go.
“And how are you feeling this morning, Marie?” the doctor asked once Marie turned to face him.
“My head feels woozy,” Marie murmured, burrowing her head against Logan’s chest.
Without any further preliminaries, the doctor held her right eye open and began shining a light in it. “If that’s your only problem then I think you’re doing good. But I’d rather check you out before I make that my final diagnosis.”
While the doctor went about his examination, Marie made sure that Logan kept his arms around her waist. The doctor tried to get him to leave at one point, but Marie would have none of it, nearly bursting into tears as she explained her need to have Logan in the room with her.
“Shhh.... I’m not going anywhere, Marie,” Logan assured her, whispering softly in her ear. “No one’s gonna make me leave. That’s a promise.”
Marie relaxed against Logan’s chest, dutifully answering all of the doctor’s questions. She hated that she couldn’t remember everything that had happened. All that she wanted to do was shut her eyes and shut out the world. Marie wanted nothing to exist outside of her and Logan.
“There is a councilor in the hospital if you’d like to speak with her,” the doctor informed her once he finished his examination. “It might help you to talk about it with someone who isn’t emotionally involved.”
The doctor had been looking directly at Logan when he said that and it pissed Marie off royally.
“All Ah want is t’ go home with Logan. So just get me mah clothes an’ tell where Ah can sign the release papers an’ Ah’ll be outta yer hair,” Marie said defiantly, pulling away from Logan and sliding off the bed. She felt Logan grip her just under the elbows to help steady her and willingly rested against him.
“Your clothes are in the closet. A police officer brought them over from the Chasez house where you were found.”
As soon as she heard that, Marie felt suddenly sick to her stomach. She rushed to the bathroom and then preceded to throw up into the toilet. She felt Logan’s hands rubbing up and down her back, sliding up to hold her hair back from her face. Once she had emptied her stomach, she flushed the toilet and sunk down onto the ground, curling up in Logan’s lap.
“It’s all right, Marie. It’s all over now,” Logan murmured, wrapping himself around her and holding her tight.
“Ah just want t’ go home an’ ferget,” Marie whimpered, pressing her face against his thigh. “Ah just want t’ ferget all about it.”