Erinne wasn’t Erinne.
The Rogue wasn’t the Rogue.
His eyes filled with unshed tears that all but blinded him, Logan stumbled through the thick underbrush. He was constantly bumping into trees and falling to the ground, but was just as quick to get up.
Had to keep moving.
Couldn’t stop.
If he stopped, they would get him. Make him believe things that he didn’t want to believe. Change the truth into one that suited their purposes.
As Logan staggered through the dense forests, he continuously snaked his fingers through his hair and dug his fingertips into his skull. He just wanted all the thoughts to stop. Logan wanted silence.
“If you think I’m going to let you out of this house in that god awful hat you’ve got another thing coming.”
“It’s my lucky hat, Erinne. I gotta wear it.
Erinne was the same. Same voice. Same smile.
Her scent was wrong, though. Erinne didn’t smell like she was supposed to.
“Run test 7-7B on Subject Wolverine. I want to see just how acute his sense of smell is.
Logan crashed to his knees as his head was filled with the remembered pains of their tests. For a long time afterwards, Logan hadn’t been able to smell anything. His healing abilities had still been weak following the insertion of the metal grafts to his skull. He might just not have regained all of his scenting abilities.
”Ya think Ah’m ugly, don’t ya?”
“Of course not, darlin’. You’re beautiful.”
“No Ah’m not. Ah’m fat.”
“You’re carrying my children. That makes you beautiful.”
Logan did not want those memories. They weren’t true. For all that he knew, the Rogue could have raped him while he was strapped helpless to a table, fresh from being cut open.
No.
That wasn’t right. The Rogue wouldn’t do that. Logan didn’t know how he knew that, but he did. The Rogue wouldn’t do that to him.
Or to anyone for that matter. The Rogue has to kind of a heart.
”Logan, will you pick up some milk on the way home?”
Logan began clawing at the ground with his bare hands, screaming into the grass.
He had left Erinne thinking that he would only be about half an hour.
Five years later her softness had faded. Not that Logan blamed her. She had spent five years not knowing what had happened to him. Thinking that he was dead. Or that he had left her. The fact that she had gone with Quicksilver, Toad and Mystique showed how much she loved him.
Was it enough, though?
While he had been missing, Logan had fathered two sons.
By his enemy.
No matter how kind and understanding the Rogue was. No matter how desperately she fought for him, it didn’t change the fact that she was his enemy. She was a member of Xavier’s megalomaniac team of mutants.
“Be careful, sugah. Ah want ya t’ come back t’ me in one piece. Ah have no intentions of bein’ a single mom.”
Logan continued screaming, denying the softly spoken words echoing in his mind. It was the Rogue. There was no denying that it was her voice. She sounded so kind. So caring. Logan was almost able to believe that what she had said was true.
“Ah love ya, Logan. So very much.”
“Look at them, Logan. They’re so beautiful. They even have your spiky hair.”
“Ya know, if Ah ever needed proof that the boys were yers, Ah think the fact that they’re purrin’ is enough proof.”
“Ah think that it’s time ya had a birthday, Logan. It’s not fair that ya don’t have a birthday.... Doesn’t matter that we don’t know how old ya are, yer still gonna have a birthday.”
“Ah love ya too, sugah. Now behave yerself.”
Not his memories. There was no way those could be real memories. Xavier had cut him open and glued bits of metal to every bit of his skeleton. There was no way he’d have happy memories from that place.
“AAAAAHHHHHH!!! Ah’m gonna kill ya, Logan!! Ah’m gonna rip yer fuckin’ balls off!!”
Definitely weren’t happy thoughts.
”Ah’m never gettin’ pregnant again! Yer sleepin’ on the couch fer the rest o’ yer natural life! Don’t ya start smilin’ at me, Logan! Ah mean it!”
It hadn’t been a real threat. The Rogue had been in labour. She had been giving birth to their sons and was screaming out her pain.
Logan could almost remember wanting to take away her pain. To switch places with her and make her pain his.
That had to be wrong.
Why would he want to take away his enemy’s pain?
He should have been reveling in her pain.
Shouldn’t he?
Crawling forward, Logan inched his way towards the river. He slithered through the grass, his eyes trained on the glittering ribbon of water. It was calling to him. Shining like a beacon. If he could just get there he could wash himself clean. He could erase the Rogue’s scent from him. The scent of pine needles and the wind.
Pine needles and the wind....
That was what Erinne was supposed to smell like. Logan could remember making love to her. Pressing his face against her throat and inhaling the scent of pine needles and the wind.
It was supposed to be Erinne’s scent.
It was the Rogue that had smelt that way, though.
Not Erinne.
But why....?
“We are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. If there is anyone present who finds reason why these two should not be wed, please speak now or forever hold your peace.”
“One word, Scooter, and I’ll gut ya.”
“Logan! That’s the most unromantic thing ya could say at our weddin’!”
“Like you weren’t thinking the same thing, darlin’.”
“That’s... that’s not the point. The point is that ya said it outloud.”
“All right, darlin’, I’ll behave.”
“That’s all Ah ask.”
Logan’s torn and bloodied fingers slipped into the cold water of the river. Pulling himself forward, Logan felt the cold water envelope him. Cleanse him. He needed to get clean. If he could wash the Rogue’s scent off of him, maybe he could make himself forget her. Forget the happy memories that had been planted in him. She was his enemy. She was one of Xavier’s which made her his enemy. Erinne was his wife. He loved her more than anything. Except his sons. Chase and Hunter came first. Over everything.
The world became suddenly silent as his head disappeared below the surface of the water. Oxygen was becoming an issue, but Logan continued crawling forward. His legs were still on dry ground. They were still covered with her scent.
All the way in. Finally. He was all the way in.
“I, Logan, take you, Marie, to be my lawful wedded wife. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, for better and for worse, till death do us part.”
“Ah, Marie, take ya, Logan, t’ be mah lawful wedded husband. T’ have an’ t’ hold, in sickness an’ in health, fer richer an’ fer poorer, fer better an’ fer worse, till death do us part.”
Marie. The Rogue’s name was Marie.
Logan opened his mouth in a soundless scream which forced water into his mouth and down to his lungs.
MARIE!! Help me!