Marie felt like she was breaking in two. The impossible had happened. Something that she had never, in a million years, thought could happen had happened. It was unthinkable. At that moment, Marie felt like the butt of some perverse cosmic joke.
Logan didn’t remember her.
At least that’s what Charles told her. He had done his voodoo, gone into Logan’s mind and come to the conclusion that Logan had no memory of anything that had happened prior to his escape from whatever government facility he had been held in.
That gave Logan no memories of the past twenty-one years.
Nothing of the fifteen years he had roamed the great Canadian wild.
Nothing of their meeting in northern Alberta.
Nothing of the X-Men.
The worst part was that he didn’t remember her.
Or Chase.
Or Hunter.
They wouldn’t even be a blip on his radar. That was what hurt the most. Knowing that Logan would remember nothing of the six years that they had spent together. They had created a family together. A life. Marie had been truly happy and she knew that Logan had been, too.
“Ah wish Ah could fix this fer ya,” Marie whispered, running a hand up and down Logan’s arm. She fingered the thick, nylon band that held his wrist down, wanting to remove it, but knowing it had to stay. Logan could hurt himself or someone else in his crazed state of mind.
“Part o’ me, though, doesn’t wanna fix it.... At least not completely,” Marie admitted to the still unconscious Logan. “Ah know how much you’ve always wanted t’ know ‘bout yer past. Where ya came from. Who ya really are. An’ Ah’m glad that ya finally got the chance t’ find out.... Ah just wish that it didn’t ya had t’ ferget the rest o’ us. Scooter, Hank, Jeanie, ‘Ro, Bobby, Jubes... Hunter. Chase. Me....”
Marie was caught completely off guard when Logan’s eyes snapped open. She gave a tiny yelp and jumped back, her eyes locked on Logan’s face. As soon as he began pulling at the restraints, Marie jumped into action.
“Logan! Logan, don’t do that! Yer gonna hurt yerself,” Marie murmured, placing her hands on his shoulders to keep him still. “Logan, please stop. Ya need t’ calm down.”
“Not again.... Never again....” Logan grumbled, squeezing his eyes shut and fighting against the straps that held him immobile.
Placing one hand over her mouth, Marie placed her other one on his cheek. “Logan.... Logan, Ah’m not gonna hurt ya. Ah swear that Ah’d never do anythin’ t’ hurt ya. Ah want ya t’ get better, Logan. Ah want ya safe an’ healthy an’ Ah wanna be able t’ take these blasted restraints off o’ ya. Ah don’t like seein’ ya tied down like this, Logan, an’ Ah know that ya don’t like it either.”
Logan’s claws popped out and he snarled loudly. Thankfully, Logan had been placed in such a position that his claws were completely useless. He couldn’t break free and hurt her.
“Logan, please try t’ remember me,” Marie pleaded, tears once again filling her eye. “Ah know that right now ya don’t remember me at all which means that yer not gonna trust me, but Ah swear t’ ya that Ah won’t let anythin’ happen t’ ya.”
“Then why am I tied up?” Logan growled, his eyes filled with nothing but hatred.
It killed Marie to see Logan looking at her like that. Logan wasn’t supposed to hate her. He loved her. At least that was what he had always told her. Shaking her head, Marie banished those thoughts from her mind. Logan did love her.... He just didn’t remember the period in his life that he had loved her in.
“Jean says we hafta do this so ya won’t hurt yerself,” Marie told him, her fingers lightly playing over the restraints. “Yer in no shape t’ be runnin’ ‘round which means we gotta do what we hafta t’ keep ya still.”
“Let. Me. Go,” Logan growled, the muscles in his arms bunching up as he tried to force his way free.
Tears in her eyes, Marie shook her head. “Ah’m real sorry, sugah, but Ah can’t do that. What Ah can promise ya is that nothin’ is gonna happen t’ ya.”
Logan squeezed his eyes shut and let his head fall back onto the table. “Please, just let me go. Just untie these damn restraints and let me go.”
The desperation in Logan’s eyes was breaking her heart. He was completely terrified. There was no doubt about it. Marie had never seen Logan so scared.
“I just want to go home.... Back to my family,” Logan pleaded, his voice drifting off as the medication pumping through his system pulled him back into oblivion.
Both of Marie’s hands flew to her mouth. She was too shocked the say anything. It felt like someone had ripped her heart out and thrown it halfway across the world. Backing away from Logan, Marie kept going until her back crashed against the wall. Tears blurring her vision, Marie slid to the ground, clutching at her knees.
Logan didn’t remember her.
At first she had been able to put it off as disorientation from what had happened. He might not have been able to distinguish her voice in everything that was going on. That wasn’t the case this time. Logan had been talking to her. He had looked at her. Made eye contact.
And asked her to let him go home to his family.
Rogue, are you all right?
The Professor’s voice in her mind only made the tears come harder.
Rogue?
“Just leave me alone,” Marie whispered, pressing her face against her knees. “Ah don’t wanna talk ‘bout it.”
Marie didn’t even want to think about what had happened. All that she wanted was to fall asleep so that she could wake up and realize that none of it had happened. So that way, when she woke up again, Logan would know who she was and be wondering when they were going to take Chase and Hunter to the movie they had missed.
“NO!”
The sound of Logan’s scream jerked Marie out of the deep sleep she had fallen into. Somehow she had ended up on a cot on the opposite side of the room. There were also more people in the room.
“Get the fuck away from me!”
Jean and Hank who were currently leaning over Logan who was struggling and straining against the restraints that held him captive. Marie caught a quick glimpse of his face and could see the absolute terror in his wild eyes.
“Get away from him!” Marie shouted, scrambling off the bed and over to Logan. She shoved Jean out of the way and shot Hank a lethal glare that had him backing up with his hands outstretched before him in a peace gesture. “Don’t ya fuckin’ go near him! Ya hear me? Stay away from Logan. Got me? Ya touch him again an’ Ah’ll beat ya t’ a bloody pulp.”
“Rogue, I assure you we are only--”
“Ah don’t wanna hear it, Hank! Ah just want ya an’ Jeanie outta here!” Marie ordered, her eyes darting back and forth between the two doctors. He may not remember her, but that didn’t meant that Marie was any less protective of him. She still loved him even if he couldn’t remember loving her.
“We need to examine him, Rogue. He’s still--”
“D’ ya really think Ah care, Jeanie? Ah want ya out! So get that perfect little red ass o’ yers outta here an’ go play house with Scooter!” Marie screamed, her temper flaring as Jean started towards Logan once again.
“Rogue, you know that we can’t do that,” Hank tried to tell her.
With the last lingering traces of St. John’s power she had absorbed the night before, Marie exploded the overhead lighting and turned the sparks into flames that encircled both her and Logan. She built up the wall so that nothing of the two doctors could be seen.
Rogue, stop this now. You’re being childish, Jean said in her mind.
Marie laughed bitterly, her eyes darkening. “Ah’m not bein’ childish, Jeanie. Yer scarin’ the shit outta Logan an’ Ah won’t let ya do that. Now get the fuck outta here!”
All right, Rogue, you win. Hank and I are leaving.
As soon as he heard the door open, Marie released her control, allowing the flames to disappear. As the borrowed energies left her, Marie’s knees gave out and she collapsed, her grip on the side of the table being the only thing keeping her from falling to the ground.
“You made them go away.”
Logan’s whispered words brought a smile to Marie’s face. She forced her shaking arms to obey her and pulled herself up so that she could see Logan’s face. He was staring at her, his eyes locked on hers.
“Thank you,” he whispered gruffly, his previously tense body finally relaxing.