She took Tom's hand, offering, "You and I have a lot to work out. I can't deny my anger nor my pain. But we have time and I know our marriage is worth it. In the meantime, let's present a united front to the children".

Tom's tears spilled down his cheeks. How he loved this woman. How could he have ever doubted? They started down the stairs and she turned and used her hankie to wipe his face. Together they entered the dining room. The past few days were catching up with Tom Barkley. He sat watching his family jabber their way through another meal. Occasionally, his eyes caught Victoria's and he flinched at the pain he saw there. His stomach churned knowing what he'd reveal after dinner would hurt his children too.

Silas cleared away the last of the dessert dishes with Audra's help. Jarrod poured the coffee and they watched for their parents to move but they didn't. Although Jarrod sensed tension in the air, the other two were too excited telling father all their adventures during his absence to notice. Finally they sat down and quieted. Audra glanced from face to face hoping for a smile.

"You three need to sit quiet for a few minutes while your father discusses something very important to this family."

"What? Oh father, is it good news?"

"Audra, give your father a minute, please."

The young girl's enthusiasm cooled and she stared down at the table cloth.

"Thank you all. I'll try to make this brief. Once you've taken time to think over what I have to say, we can talk again."

Nick sat forward staring with his full intensity into Tom's face. Jarrod sat back as if he was going to take notes on a lecture and Audra continued to stare at the table cloth. Victoria, like Tom, checked from child to child.

"I've already spoken to your mother regarding what I'm about to share with you. Let me begin by telling you all I would never intentionally do anything to hurt any of you or threaten this family. You all mean the world to me ..."

Nick jumped up, throwing his napkin down, he grabbed his father's forearm, demanding, "You aren't sick are you, father?".

Tom noted the fear in Nick's eyes and almost wished that was the problem. Fear was better than the disappointment he expected to see in Nick's eyes soon.

"No, son. Now sit back down and listen."

Nick took a minute and glanced at his mother who nodded for him to do as he was told.

"I'm an imperfect man. The Lord knows I've made my share of mistakes and there have been a few times when I've strayed from what the Good Book teaches. One of those times was approximately thirteen years ago when I was managing our mine interests in a small town, Strawberry.

"I was away from home for a very long time. I met a woman named, Leah Thomson ..."

Nick interrupted, barking, "I'm not sure I want to hear this". He began to stand up.

"Nicholas Barkley you sit down and listen!"

Nick quickly yielded to Tom's order but once again glanced at Victoria. She nodded again for him to obey.

"Nine months after I left Strawberry, Leah had a baby. She named him Heath." "Heath?"

"Yes, Audra, Heath. Heath is your brother and I'm going back to Strawberry to be with him. His mother is very ill. When she dies, he is going to come and live here with us."

Once again, Nick stood up. Slow this time without taking his eyes from Tom's. Suddenly, he turned and ran out. People across the valley must have heard when he slammed the front door shut. There was silence at the table. After a moment, Tom continued, "I hope and pray you will not let your feelings about me, about what I did, effect your relationship with your brother."

Audra reached for her mother's hand under the table. She wasn't really sure how or what to feel but she could tell Tom had done something very bad. Victoria was quietly weeping but didn't seem angry. Audra took her cues from her mother.

"What's he like? Heath? How old is he?"

Tom smiled at Audra's innocence, answering, "Heath is twelve and he looks very much like you".

Tom couldn't have said anything to please her more.

"Can I go with you?"

"Go where?"

"To Strawberry to get him. He must be very sad if his mother is dying. I know I would be."

Victoria squeezed her hand and smiled. Tom looked to Victoria before answering. "Yes, but it might be unpleasant there. You should think it through. I'm not sure you've ever seen anyone as sick as Heath's mother."

"I know. But, since he's my brother, shouldn't I be with him?"

Victoria couldn't hide her tears any longer. She stood up and pulled Audra up into her arms. They hugged for a long time.

"Have I told you lately how proud I am of you and how much I love you? Now young lady, let's get you packed. Your father wants to leave before dawn."

The women left and the two remaining men sat silent listening to them climb the stairs.

"Father, are you sure?"

"Sure?"

"Sure Heath is a Barkley."

Tom reached out and touched Jarrod's hand, replying, "Yes, son. I have no doubt in my mind Heath is your brother".

"I can't say I know how to feel."

Tom rested his hand on Jarrod's and listened.

"Anger, confusion, and sadness all come to mind. But you are sure?"

The young man looked into his father's face and Tom nodded his assurance. "What about you and mother?"

"Your mother is very angry with me and should be. I don't know if she'll ever fully forgive me. Not sure I'll ever forgive myself. But she has agreed to continue our marriage and welcome Heath into our home. "The next few months could be trying for all of us. In various ways our family will never be the same again."

"And Heath?"

"What about him?"

"Does he want to live here?"

"No. Frankly he refuses to consider the possibility. But he's a young boy watching his mother die a horrific death. I'm not sure he's thinking straight at the present moment." "And you had no idea?"

Tom leaned forward and took in Jarrod's face before replying, quietly he spoke, "Jarrod, I'm not going to give you a morality lesson here. I wouldn't be surprised if you never trusted me on the subject again".

He took a breath and thought hard about his next words, remaining just above a whisper, "A man has needs. We're taught that there is a proper time and place to satisfy those needs. When I was in Strawberry, I sinned. I was weak and gave in to my immoral needs. Anytime a man does this, he needs to take responsibility for all the possible consequences of his actions. I didn't.

"I was so overcome with how my sin affected me. I came home and tried to work for my salvation through this family. Your mother is the love of my life and I've spent all these years hiding my sin from her. I'm sure you won't be surprised to hear she's known all along. Some woman your mother."

Jarrod nodded his head but keep his eyes on Tom.

"I had a good long time to replay my life on the way home today from Strawberry. I'll never forgive myself for being blind to the possibility that Leah my have paid a heavy price for our sin. Any reasonable man would have thought, would have considered the possibility I'd planted my seed."

Tears came and Tom choked out the rest, "I thought it best to avoid Strawberry at all cost. Instead I should have ridden through to be sure. Now I've missed the first twelve years of Heath's life. Please, if you don't do anything else, Jarrod, learn from my mistakes".

Jarrod shook his head and left to check on Nick. Tom was going to do it but was tired enough to agree to letting Jarrod test the temper waters for him. He was bone tired but there was no time to rest. He headed up to check on Victoria and Audra.

Before dawn they prepared to leave. Tom, Jarrod, and Audra in the largest of the Barkley carriages. Nick had avoided Tom all night and did so now. Victoria gave each of them a kiss before watching them board. Finally, her eyes met Tom's and she reached out her hand.

Tears flowed down her face, she pulled him closer and whispered, "Don't worry about us. I'll talk to Nick. He needs some more time. Take care".

They started out with Jarrod driving, he glanced over and saw his father gazing back at his mother. When she turned and went back in the house, Tom turned around and took quite a while to compose himself.

The carriage took longer than expected and they didn't pull into Strawberry until after dark. Mr Corley was at the livery, not Heath. After the introductions, Tom was informed Heath was at home. He didn't know anything else.

They walked through Strawberry in silence. Jarrod hoped daylight would make the place look better but feared it wouldn't. Audra seemed frightened and clung close to Tom. When they arrived at Leah's, he left the children on the front porch with the last remnants from the basket of food Victoria sent. : Inside the house was silent but for the rattled attempts Leah made at breathing. She looked like a small china doll in the bed except for the perspiration on her face from her struggle for life. Heath was sitting on the bed clutching his mother's hand but her eyes were closed. Hannah was sitting with him stoking his back and Rachel was in the chair beside them. None of them heard Tom approach.

Tom gently touched Rachel's shoulder, she looked around slowly, her face revealed exactly the horrors of their long day's vigil. She whispered to Hannah and took Tom's arm. They moved outside. Closing the door quietly behind her, Rachel took a moment to gather herself. When she looked up, she saw Jarrod and Audra staring at her. "Why Thomas, who are these wonderful young people with you?" She attempted a smile but it was weak.

"These are my children, Heath's brother and sister. Jarrod and Audra this is Mrs Caufield. She's a friend of Heath and his mother."

After the introduction, the adults moved out into the small yard to talk. Leah had been progressively worse since Tom's departure. The pain became unbearable during the night and by morning, she was blessed with a comatose state. They'd spent the day thinking each breath was her last but she fought on ... To Rachel's amazement.

"You know, Tom. She waited for you once, maybe she waiting again?"

They walked back after talking some more. Jarrod and Audra slipped through the door when their father entered. Jarrod pulled Audra up into his lap and held her close. The young girl didn't like the look, smell, or feel of the death room but knew to be silent. Tom walked around the bed. He stroked Heath's hair but honestly felt the boy was unaware of his presence. He knelt down and gazed at the dying woman before speaking.

"Leah, it's Tom."

He gathered himself, moved closer to her ear, and whispered, "I've come back for Heath. I promise you our boy will be safe ... And loved".

He kissed her check and moved away. Finding a chair, he moved it to sit next to Jarrod and Audra. As Leah's breathing worsened, Audra moved to Tom's lap and buried her face in his chest.

She whispered, "Should I pray, father?".

"Oh yes, Audra. That would be wonderful."

"What should I pray?"

"Pray for Heath's mother's pain to stop. Pray for the people who love her ..." Audra looked up and stroked her father's face while trying to smile for him. He kissed her. "Pray for the people who love her not to be too sad." There had been no screaming or wailing when Leah Thomson finally passed close to dawn. Rachel and Hannah knelt and prayed but Heath sat and stared, motionless. The undertaker came after dawn and Tom helped him move Heath away. Jarrod and Audra had been sleeping by the fire but woke when the men carried Heath's mother to the wagon. Suddenly the house was still and terribly quiet.

Heath refused comfort from anyone. He walked out and continued up the street with Nicki at his heals. Tom was going to follow but Rachel held him back. They washed up and prepared a small breakfast. Tom discussed the money he and Victoria had sent for the women. After much convincing, they accepted the gift.

Everyone dozed on and off until midday. The funeral was to be at 1PM and Tom wanted Heath to know the plans. He left Jarrod and Audra with the women and walked to the livery. When he came through the front door, Mr Corley looked up and smiled. He threw his head sideways to indicate Heath's presence. Tom gazed over and watched for a moment while Heath groomed one of his horses.

Mr Corley took his arm and whispered in his ear, "Your stocks never had it so good. He's groomed and regroomed them for hours. Left him be since he ain't hurting nothing".

Tom nodded. He walked around the horse so he'd face his son, "Heath, you need to com'on back now. We all need to get cleaned up for the funeral".

The boy's eyes dropped to the ground before he walked over and put the brushes away. Without a word, he left for home with Tom a few paces behind him. Nicki walked with Tom as if she was locked out of Heath's world too. Rachel tried to talk to Heath while he dressed but he remained silent. His only reaction was when she told him to hand her the other clothes from his shelf so she could pack them. He shook his head and refused. Rachel grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out behind the tiny house, slamming the door behind them. Tom started to follow but Hannah stopped him.

"No, Mr Tom. We done talked this all over with that child before you got back. His mother made it very clear what he was to do when you came for him. It's just not easy ...", her head dropped and she wiped a tear, "Not easy for any of us".

Tom put his arm around Hannah, gratefully he acknowledged, "No, I'm sure its more difficult than I'll ever know. But like I explained at lunch, I'll bring him back for visits and I'll be sure he stays in touch".

"Yes, sir."

She pulled away and hid the sounds of her crying by putting away pots in the kitchen. Heath walked around the outside of the house and planted himself on the front steps. The adults stayed inside and talked but Jarrod and Audra took places on either side of their brother. Audra sat silently but Jarrod spoke for them both.

"We're sorry about your mother, Heath. She was a wonderful woman. Please let us help if we can."

Heath didn't answer but he didn't move away. Jarrod took that as a positive sign and stayed put.

The funeral was brief. There was only the minister and the six of them there. Heath stood away from everyone staring into the ground with his fists clinched. They filed away, all except Heath. He stood frozen staring into the hole they'd put his mother in. Rachel started to break away from the group to get him but then stopped. They all watched as Audra walked back and took one of Heath's hands. She held it very tight and looked in the hole with the boy, her brother.

Quietly, they heard her whisper, "Com'on, Heath. It's time to go".

The children walked past them all as Audra lead Heath back to his mother's home for the last time. The women fixed a meal but no one was hungry. Heath never came in from the porch. They all worked to rearrange the furniture for Hannah, who was going to stay in the house. Finally, Tom helped Audra and Jarrod get comfortable on the floor by the fire. Rachel left after she told Heath she'd see him in the morning. Hannah walked out to kiss him goodnight but he didn't respond to anyone. The blond boy seemed very small sitting on the porch swing staring at his feet. Tom joined him when the house was settled for the night.

Tom started the swing moving and Heath didn't resist. He felt his head getting heavy and started to doze off but opened his eyes stunned when Heath finally spoke.

"I promised my ma."

"Excuse me, Heath."

"I promised my ma I'd go with you without a fuss."

Tom started the swing rocking hoping Heath would get sleepy. It was very late when he spoke again.

"Can I take my dog?"

Tom shook himself awake, he put his arm around Heath's shoulders but the boy moved away.

"Certainly, you can bring Nicki. Anything else you need to bring with?".

Heath shook his head then laid down on the other armrest of the swing and appeared to drift off. Tom closed his eyes and prayed for guidance. His family was about to begin a very difficult journey ...

It was terribly late when Victoria finally heard the carriage pulling up front. A few of the hands were waiting up and helped Tom get the horses and colts into the barn. Jarrod was the first one through the door with Audra sound asleep in his arms. Victoria kissed them both then watched as Jarrod took her up to bed.

She heard Tom talking to Nick which truly surprised her. Nick retired early insisting he was too spent to wait up for the others with her. Maybe he'd come around and met his father outside. She rushed out to see what was happening. There stood Tom hovering over a small bridled dog. The dog had obviously never been leashed and she wasn't thrilled to be wearing one now. Victoria's tension flew away for a moment as she took in the large man begging the poor little dog forward. Tom was going to lose! "Com'on Nicki. It's not so bad. Let me walk you around to the kitchen."

Victoria walked up and squatted down by the animal. The little dog was trembling and her eyes were big as buttons.

"Ah, don't pull her, Tom. She's such a little thing."

Without hesitation Victoria reached to pick up the dog. Tom tried to stop her but was too late. Nicki found herself cuddled in Victoria's silky robe.

"I was going to tell you she wouldn't let anyone but Heath pick her up. I don't think she likes having so many strangers around her boy."

Tom stepped back revealing the small boy hiding behind his father. He was tall for his age but terribly underweight. The boy stared at his boots so there was no way for her to see anymore than his blond head. She knelt back down and tried to make eye contact with Nicki's master.

"Hello, Heath. I'm Victoria. I'm so glad to see you and I had no idea you had such a wonderful friend."

He stepped closer to Tom and briefly peeked out at her. She almost fell over when she saw his face, especially the eyes. Victoria assumed Tom's imagination built up his claims of Heath's resemblance to Theodore Barkley. It hadn't, the little guy was his grandfather's double. She couldn't help reaching out and touching his hair. For a young boy he had amazingly thick golden blond hair. Tom was shocked when Heath let her pet him.

"Would you like to help me find a nice bed for your dog while your father makes sure the horses are bedded down properly and unpacks your things?"

He didn't answer but shook his head. Victoria looked up at Tom and he shrugged his shoulders.

"All right then, let's start looking for a nice basket. I bet Silas has some in the kitchen."

She reached out her hand and Heath took it. He never looked up but he took Victoria's hand. They started for the house and Tom took a moment to thank his Maker for a safe journey home. It had been a long, hot, and difficult trip with the children and the colts. Jarrod was the one who carried the day by entertaining Audra. Heath sat in the same spot without moving or talking. Tom made him get out of the carriage when they stopped but he sat alone each time until they prepared to move on. Audra played with his dog and took care of it. He watched her but never moved to help. Now he listened as Victoria rambled on to Heath about his favorite subject, Nicki. It had been almost 24-hours since he'd heard Heath's voice. The twang he'd picked up from his mother, Rachel, and Hannah was music to Tom's ears.

"Did you say your dog's name was Nicki?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"I bet she's a Christmas dog. Oh, they are the best ones."

With that they disappeared into the front of the house. Tom went to help with the bags and check one the colts.

Jarrod joined the group in the kitchen. Nicki sat staring out from a large basket by the stove. Heath was beside her stoking her gently. The dog seemed to want to be friendly but Heath's tense mood made her leery. It was terribly late and they sat quietly while Jarrod downed a second sandwich. Finally, it was time for bed.

"Com'on Heath, I'll show you your room. We can get all ready then mother and father can tuck us in."

Heath looked up at Jarrod in shock. Jarrod held out his hand expecting Heath to take it. They seemed to get along thus far. But he squirmed closer to Nick's basket and returned his gaze to the floor. Jarred got down on his knees to pet the dog. He reached for Heath but he pulled away.

"It's okay little brother. We're only going upstairs."

Heath didn't look up, whispering, "I always sleep in the kitchen with Nick". Jarred looked back to his parents for direction. Tom walked over and swung Heath up into his arms with one swift movement.

"I know you slept on the cot in the kitchen in Strawberry, Heath. But here, we've got a nice soft bed for you in your very own room. Wouldn't you like to see it before you decide not to sleep there?"

Heath shook his head vigorously ... He didn't want to leave the kitchen. Tom smiled and hugged him.

"Common, son."

They were all tired, including Heath, so he laid his head on Tom's shoulder and watched as Tom took him up the back stairs to his room. When Tom put him down inside the door, he stood motionless.

"How many kids sleep in this room?"

"Oh, Heath," Victoria knelt down, "This whole room is for you".

She looked back at Tom, asking, "Where are Heath's bags?".

Tom motioned to the side chair which held one small tattered bag. Jarrod intervened.

"Let's go find you a tooth brush, kid."

The two boys walked down the hall and Jarrod gave Heath a tour before they walked into the bathroom.

"BOY HOWDY!"

Victoria fell into Tom's arms and they held each other tight while smiling at Heath's delight with at least one room in their home. They came back all cleaned up and Jarred had given Heath one of Nick's nightshirts to wear. It was huge but would do for now. Victoria and Jarrod said good night and left. Tom dimmed the lamp and sat on the edge of the bed. He rubbed Heath's back ignoring the tense feel of Health's muscles to his touch.

"Welcome, to your new home, Heath. I'm confused. On the one hand, I'm grateful beyond measure to finally have you here but, on the other hand, I'm so sad your mother's death made it all possible."

Heath didn't say a thing but Tom was glad he opened the door anyway.

"If you ever want to talk, I'm here. Plus, Jarrod, Victoria, and the others all want to help you if they can. Please, Heath, give us a chance before you decide about us."

He leaned over and kissed Heath's cheek.

"Thanks for bringing me with you, sir."

Tom smiled, "You don't have to thank me. I want you here".

"Rachel and Hannah said I should thank you, so thank you."

"Your welcome, Heath."

Tom shook his head and walked out into the hall. What could possibly be going through that little guy's head? Ah well, he'd think more on it tomorrow.

Victoria and Tom stayed up longer than they should discussing the events in Strawberry. When Tom dozed off, she had herself a good cry. Seemed she been doing that a lot lately. She cried for hours when Tom left. Mad at him one moment and terribly worried about he and her entire family the next. Now, hearing about the events in Strawberry, she was crying again.

Victoria might have dozed for an hour or so but then she got up and dressed. She wanted to be sure no one disturbed Tom or the children so they would sleep in. As she walked into the dining room, she could hear Silas talking to Nick.

"I know you want to get busy on today's chores Mr Nick but I think your father would want you to stay close to home today."

Victoria didn't give Nick a chance to argue, adding, "Thank you, Silas. You couldn't be more correct. Nick will be staying close to home at least till his father gets up in a little bit".

Nick glared at her with the same fury she'd felt since they had a horrible fight last evening. She'd slapped him. The first time she'd ever hit one of her children. The moment still horrified her. Nick had been way over the line and when he refused to stop calling Heath "the little bastard", she'd finally let him have it right across the mouth. That had made her cry too!

"Mrs Barkley?"

"Yes, Silas?"

"May I see you for one moment before you join Mr Nick for breakfast?"

Victoria readily granted Silas' unusual request and followed him into the kitchen. Silas pointed to the corner of the room with a smile pasted across his face. There curled up in a ball lay Heath with Nicki. Silas had covered them with a blanket from his room. "Thought I'd talk to you before I bothered them. They seem perfectly happy where they are."

Victoria reached for Silas' arm and gave it a grateful squeeze. Then she returned to Nick but found him gone. Exasperated, she plopped down in her chair and accepted the cup of coffee Silas offered. It was only a short time before she was joined by Tom and Jarrod. The sun was coming up and the ranch was swinging into action. She took them into the kitchen but Heath was gone and so was his dog. Silas had stepped out to water the garden and hadn't seen them leave. Tom reassured her they couldn't go far. He sent she and Jarrod back for some breakfast and set out across the yard. His instincts told him exactly where he'd find his son. He was correct.

Tom nodded to Jim and the other workers as he strolled to the stall were Heath was cleaning. Jim put his hands up as if to say we tried and walked out with one of the colts.

"Heath?"

The boy kept working, answering, "Yes, sir".

"We should probably get some breakfast and talk about your chores. You don't need to clean the barn today. It's a special day."

"I don't take no charity and Rachel says I gotta do my share."

"I see."

Heath kept working. Tom stepped closer, inquiring, "Did anyone ever mention to you that you need to respect your elders?".

The boy stopped and stared at his father.

"How about looking at your father when he talks and listening to what he tells you to do."

Heath gaze dropped to the floor, "I guess they mentioned that stuff too".

"Yes, knowing the ladies who raised you ... I'd say they probably did mention those things."

Go get cleaned up and I'll walk back with you. Heath ran to the water pump and washed. He joined Tom but walked a few steps behind him back to the house.

"Nope, son. Nicki can stay in the kitchen with Silas."

They walked into the dining room and joined the others. Heath never saw so much food in his entire life. Twelve-year-olds aren't normally good at decisions. Victoria came to his rescue and fixed him a plate. Heath made short work of it. The boy never looked up or spoke but he surely could eat.

By August the Barkley's had fallen back into somewhat of a routine. Tom and Nick didn't speak. Tom started each day intent on showing patience with Nick and ended up barking at him. Nick busted around the house like a mad bull sending Heath scampering out of sight whenever he appeared. Victoria intervened a few times but no one was willing to budge an inch. Only time would help them find a way to get along.

Jarrod was in and out while he interned with the local prosecutor's office. He had his heart set on a legal career and it was good experience for him. But it keep his level head away from the house and many evenings he sat stumped as to what event set everyone off, again. Jarrod tried taking Heath on picnics, fishing, and the like but he had to split his time between all his siblings. Besides when he did take Heath out, he couldn't tell if his youngest brother had fun. But if Jarrod helped him with chores then the kid was happy as a lark!

Tom and Victoria agreed to a chore list for Heath but he always added to it. They admitted the tack room had never consistently been in as fine a shape as when Heath started seeing to it. Tom had to limit Heath's time around the barn and the horses or he'd automatically do all the work. Getting this kid to relax and enjoy his new life was no easy task.

Victoria assigned him Audra each afternoon. He would help her with her chores and they'd play with Heath's dog. It was the only way they could find to get him to do some children's activities. Audra adored him more and more each day but Victoria wondered if Heath would play with her if he wasn't forced to. She'd never know and had to go with what appeared to be working.

Victoria and Tom still had some rough moments and the tense household didn't help but they talked all the time and seemed to be making progress. She wished they could get through this less painfully but there didn't seem to be any other way. Even though she'd grieved years before, she hadn't worked through her anger.

Silas mentioned Heath doing extra chores around the house a few times to the Barkleys but they didn't think anything of it. The boy was doing extra chores around the entire ranch. If Tom didn't keep a severe eye on him when they were out with the hands, Heath would do work his father felt far too dangerous. The boy never talked back or fought Tom, but he could tell Heath resented not being allowed to do things he'd done in Strawberry for years.

One morning Tom couldn't sleep and got up early. The house was quiet and he headed for the kitchen seeking a pre-breakfast snack. To his dismay, Heath was scrubbing the back hall stairs when he found him.

"Heath?"

Despite these months together, surprising Heath let his fear flash to the front of his mind, Tom easily saw it in his eyes. Heath stood against the wall and instinctively braced for a blow. Tom picked him up and walked down to the kitchen and put him in a chair. After he brightened the lamp, he ignored Heath and grabbed his youngest boy's favorite dish, Silas' apple pie. Strolling over with the pie and two forks, he sat down across from Heath. After a few bites, Heath couldn't resist and joined him. Tom looked the other way when he fed his crust to Nicki.

"You mind telling me what you are doing scrubbing the steps in the middle of the night?"

Heath stopped eating and gazed down. Tom reached over and pulled up his face. "No, I'm afraid none of that will do. You and I need to talk and that's all there is to it."

Heath dropped his gaze when Tom let go. For a long moment, he thought they might be getting involved in a stand off. If Heath could be stubborn, so could he.

"I don't accept no charity and you never let me do enough around here. I promised ..."

"What did you promise?"

Heath went silent once more. Tom held his breath hoping he'd continue. Since the day they left Strawberry Heath hadn't mentioned his mother and refused to discuss her or his feelings in any way.

"Heath, what did you promise?"

"It doesn't matter. I won't scrub no floors or steps if you don't want me to."

Tom thought hard about how to react before answering, after a deep breath he replied, "You know Heath, I've never known a harder worker. It's not that I don't want you scrubbing floors, it surely is an honorable thing to do, but I want you to take some time to be a little boy. You're growing up awfully fast ... I'm afraid you'll look back and wish you'd had more fun".

Tom was pleased to see Heath biting at his lip. Whenever Heath pulled at a cuff or bit his lip he was thinking hard. At least he didn't disregard Tom's concerns right away. "I like playing but ..."

"But what?"

Heath was back to staring at his empty plate. This time the boy outlasted his father and Tom let out a heavy sigh.

"Heath go to bed. I don't want to see hide nor hair of ya until Silas has breakfast on the table. You do your chores with Audra and finish that book Jarrod sent you. If I catch you doing one extra thing, we're going to have a long talk. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir."

Heath tried to slip by but Tom caught him and hugged him. When he eased his grip, Heath struggled free and then flew up the stairs to his room. Tom picked at more apple pie. This is absolutely crazy is all that kept running through his mind. One son staying away and only doing what he had to around the place. Maybe he should drop his guilt and just tan Nick's hide. Enough was enough from that teenager. And then there was his little puzzle, Heath. The boy was good, too good. After all these months on the ranch, Heath remained tired, thin, and pale. No wonder! For some reason he refused to accept his new lifestyle. Maybe he was being too soft on him also. What to do? : Heath tested two grades above his age and entered school with Audra and Nick. They rode back and forth together each day with Nick always way out in front of his two younger siblings. Victoria hoped Nick would soften up a bit on Heath by now but he refused to do anymore than scare his little brother all the time. A few times, Heath appeared at the dining room table with bruises or a swollen lip. But he wouldn't talk about it and the other two had nothing to say. Tom stopped in to see the teacher but Heath's work remained above average and if anything was happening, it was happening outside of school. The only people Heath talked to were Audra and Silas. He spent all of his time with Nicki but that friendship wasn't outwardly communicative. It was as if Heath lived in his own world and only tolerated their intrusions. They might not ever break in and save him from the walls he was building.

Victoria and Tom sat staring at the fire one night after an especially ugly episode with Nick. Tom had lost control and Nick stormed out once more. Heath didn't finish his dinner but snuck out to the kitchen and helped Silas with the dishes. When Nick's anger was out of control, more often than not Silas would find Heath sleeping in the kitchen with his dog the next morning. Somehow this was all connected but they had no idea how or why?

"Tom, maybe we need to face the fact Heath isn't thriving here."

Tom held her close and visualized the exhausted boy who refused to give himself a break or let his family help him.

"The doctor said he was fine."

"Com'on, Tom! It doesn't take a doctor to see that boy isn't happy. He drives himself as if he is on some type of mission. He couldn't be a better kid. But I don't feel like I know him any better today than I did the night he walked through that door. Do you?" "No, if anything time makes him more of a puzzle to me." Tom laughed and added, "Now Nick, Nick I understand. He's hurt, he's angry, and he's not going to let me forget about it. But Heath?".

"What about a trip back to Strawberry? It might lift his spirits, force him to talk about his mother, and we could seek Rachel and Hannah's help. I know you'll think I'm being overly dramatic but I'm afraid we could lose him."

"What do you mean, lose him?"

"Tom, look at him. I mean really look at him. He never talks, except to Audra, Silas, or when we address him. The kid works all day even if we punish him for it. I can't seem to get an ounce of meat on his bones. I think he is terribly unhappy and an easy target for any old disease to hit Stockton."

Victoria's words shook Tom. He knew she was right but hated to admit it.

"Let's ask him about the trip tomorrow. We can say we're going to take holiday supplies and visit."

Victoria squeezed Tom's arm and pulled him closer. "A trip? Can I come too?"

"No, Audra. This would be a special trip. Just mother, Heath, and I. You can go next time, I promise."

Audra slipped down in her chair but Victoria patted her knee under the table and she sat back up. Nick huffed his dissatisfaction but held his tongue.

"Mother and I want to check on Rachel and Hannah. We've prepared a wagon load of things they need. You and I can fix things up nice around there for them. They wouldn't take money but I bet they'll let us fix up their places."

Nick chimed in, "Sure they will. I bet they'd take him back too".

Tom slammed his hand down on the table and glared at Nick. Nick defiantly stared back. Before they came to blows, Victoria stepped between them while Audra hid under the table cloth.

"Nick, to your room. I'll deal with you later. Thomas you sit down and cool off." Nick stormed out as Victoria and Tom returned to their seats. Audra peeked out and then decided it was safe. Heath's seat was empty. They all knew where he was. Tom smiled to the ladies and insisted they try to enjoy the rest of their breakfast. He slid down next to Heath on the floor by the stove. Reaching out, he scratched Nicki's head for a long time before speaking.

"I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"Because Nick is wrong but he doesn't know it. He's really missing out by not getting to know you."

"No, I'm just the kid who came here and ruined his life."

Tom realized he was hearing a direct quote and thought about his answer.

"Well, he's wrong. Frankly, I hit my knees every night and thank God he let me have you for a son. I just know our family is going to figure out all these bumps in the road. You'll see ..."

Heath didn't answer or look at Tom.

"Victoria and I really want you to ride to Strawberry with us. Rachel and Hannah's letters are so kind and wonderful, don't you want to see them too?"

Heath didn't move a muscle. It was as if he was made of stone.

"I'll talk to your teacher. There's only a few more days until Christmas break and you can surely miss them."

"I can't go."

Heath never looked up but sounded so sure.

"Why?"

"Because I have to do my chores, go to school, and take care of Nicki. There's no other way."

Tom knew this was another confused piece of the Heath puzzle and he didn't have the strength to solve it sitting with cramped legs on the kitchen floor.

"Heath, you'll have more than enough chores in Strawberry. I want to fix the roof at Hannah's and change out the water pump at Rachel's. Plus I know there's a million other things we can do for them that I didn't notice the last time I was there."

"I can't ..."

"Heath, son, unless you tell me why ... You are going."

Heath sprang up and ran outside with Nicki in hot pursuit. Tom let him go and returned to the breakfast table even though his appetite was completely gone.

Two days later they headed out the gates. The wagon was full of food and supplies so it would take them two days. Victoria and Tom sat up front and enjoyed the ride. Heath sat behind them in silence. Tom had been forced to pick him up and put him on the wagon.

As they pulled away, Audra yelled, "I'll take care of Nicki. Have a good time".

Heath's dog strained at her leash and finally broke for the wagon after she flipped out of her collar. Audra yelled but the dog tore after her master. Victoria held onto Tom's elbow and Heath moved to the back of the wagon. The little dog soon tired and stopped in the road watching the wagon move out. Before they were completely out of sight, Audra and one of the hands pulled up and she retrieved the sad little dog. Audra waved to Heath but he simply sat staring at his best friend panting in her arms. He shouldn't be leaving her. After all, he promised.

The weather held making their trip easier. Heath barely said a word and seemed nervous and upset the entire way. Tom let him care for the team which seemed to give the boy a semblance of peace. Too puzzled to worry anymore, he relaxed and tried to enjoy the time with Victoria.

Rachel and Hannah were as anxious as Heath when they pulled into Strawberry. Before the Barkleys realized what was happening Heath jumped down from the moving wagon and ran so fast he nearly knocked both women down when he wrapped himself around their waists. They were waving frantically from Hannah's front porch and Victoria smiled knowing it was too much temptation for her youngest boy. She held Tom's arm when he started to scold.

Rachel and Hannah were a world of wisdom and knowledge when it came to Heath. Victoria gladly spent both days helping them cook, clean, and prepare for the holidays while listening to every story they could remember from the day Heath was born until the day he rode away towards Stockton. Everyone politely stayed away from the subject of Leah and Tom but they did talk at length about Leah which helped Victoria understand Heath's reaction to various things. Despite herself, she decided if she'd known Leah, she probably would have liked her very much, very much indeed.

Tom and Heath worked from dawn till almost dusk both days. Sometime before supper a change came over their relationship. Heath talked and laughed with his father and seemed able to relax and enjoy their time together. Rachel stopped cold while preparing dinner. She took Victoria's hand.

"Listen ..."

The two Barkley men were in her backyard. Tom was chasing Heath and when he caught him, he tickled him for all he was worth. Heath shook with laughter and even forgot the polite father he'd learned on the ranch.

"Pa, stop! Pleeeeease???"

Rachel broke down and Victoria hugged her.

"It's been too long, Victoria. He has the most wonderful laugh. I wasn't sure I'd ever hear it again."

They continued working and Victoria finally went out and called them for dinner when Hannah arrived with the pies from her oven. The two women knew Heath well. They stayed at his mother's, Hannah's house now, while the three Barkley's stayed at Rachel's.

"That way he'll know he's just visiting." Rachel assured Tom and Victoria when they realized she was giving up her home for them. Victoria sensed more than ever before Heath's need for she and Tom to make sure these women remained involved in his life. They would make good aunties for the other children too.

After dinner, Tom rode out to the Duncan's to finish up some business they discussed on his last visit. Heath and Victoria were kicked out of the kitchen and ordered to relax on the porch. For the first time in two days, Heath became quiet and sat on the steps staring up towards the main street of Strawberry. Victoria made a quick decision.

"Heath."

"Yes, ma'am."

She moved from her chair and sat down next to the far away boy. After putting an arm around him, she felt brave. It was twilight already since it was December. If they were going to go, it would have to be now.

"Would you consider doing me a favor?"

He turned and nodded his head. She smiled broadly at those blue eyes.

"I would very much like to pay my respects to your mother. I've learned so much about her, your life here in Strawberry, your family before your father found you, and you. I can't tell you how much I wish I had known Leah ... She was so very special."

Heath looked down at his boots and pulled at his cuff.

"She's in the ground, ya know. I mean, you can't really see her."

Victoria rubbed his back. How young he truly was.

"Yes, I know you're mother's buried in the graveyard up the street here a bit. I'm not sure where to find her grave. When someone dies, who we care about, it is considered a sign of respect to go and visit their grave."

"What do ya do there? She can't see you."

"That's true. I usually think good thoughts about them. Then I say a prayer for them and all the people they loved. When we visit Philadelphia, I always go to my parent's graves. It makes me feel better somehow still miss them and respect them, even in death."

Heath stood up and shrugged his shoulders while kicking some dirt. Victoria felt her panic rising, she wanted him to talk about his mother but possibly had chosen the wrong path here. As far as she knew Heath never even cried about his mother. What if everything they'd started to build these two wonderful days fell apart? They walked hand and hand through the crisp evening air down the street and into the unkempt cemetery. Without missing a step, Heath walked over to an unmarked grave and stopped. There were no landmarks or anything to suggest a way to remember the spot, but he knew it was the right one.

Victoria knelt down and prayed but kept a tight hold on Heath's hand. When she was done, she stood up and used her other hand to wipe some tears from her cheek.

"Are you okay?"

"Oh yes, honey. I'm fine, are you?"

Heath didn't answer but kicked some more dirt.

"Why are you crying?"

"Because your mother was a wonderful woman and I truly wish I had known her. I'm positive we could have been good friends."

Heath bit his lip and twisted around but then moved closer to her waist. He whispered, "I think you really mean that. Thank you, ma'am".

Victoria knelt back down and took Heath's shoulders in her hands. She made him look her in the eye.

"Yes, Heath, I really mean that. Do you mind if I inquire why you ask?"

Heath looked her in the eye, saying, "People 'round here always said a lot of bad things about my mother. Reverend Lewis was about the worst". He took a deep breath and dropped his eyes, adding, "When they stuck her down there ... Reverend Lewis said all this nice stuff about her. I'd think God wouldn't like him saying he liked her when he thought she was 'branded by evil'".

Victoria pulled him close and held on tight. Heath stiffened but she didn't care. How confusing this was if she let herself think. She loved this little boy and yet he was the product of an affair between his mother and her husband. How could Tom, the best man she had ever known, have caused so much pain to so very many people? She shed a few tears then took a deep breath before preparing her answer.

"I'm sure God will take care of Reverend Lewis and all the others in His own good time, Heath. I'm glad you and I know what a great woman your mother was. It makes me feel good to know we have the same warm place for her down deep inside, in our hearts."

She began to cry again and Heath reached to pet her hair then rubbed her back. This hadn't turned out the way she planned, Heath wasn't shedding a tear and she was about to flood the graveyard. In a few minutes they moved to a nearby bench and he sat with her until she calmed down.

"It's cold and dark, ma'am. I better walk you back before father worries."

"Just a minute, honey."

Victoria closed her eyes and clutched Heath's hand. She prayed: Leah, thank you for your gift of this glorious child. I promise you Tom and I will figure this situation out and see to it he's happy. Rest easy, my dear, Heath is loved, truly loved.

She had to stop because Victoria felt herself starting to tear up again. So many emotions and she was too tired to fight them.

"Come on ... Before you get my jacket all wet again."

Victoria opened her eyes and turned to Heath. He was smiling and hoping his tease worked. It did and they started back to Rachel's.

Tom was waiting on the front steps and jumped up when they came in sight. Victoria swung her arms around his neck and held tight. The tears flowed once more. Tom looked down at Heath for an explanation.

"Victoria was respecting my ma."

Heath kissed her hand and went inside. Somehow, when she'd think about this evening years later, Victoria would figure out this had been the evening her anger ended. It was time to move on.

Tom convinced Heath it would be okay for him to let his father take a turn watering the horses. He sat by and watched but his parents knew this was a major concession on his part. They had enjoyed a wonderful trip but could still sense Heath's need to work and work hard. Rachel and Hannah insisted he was merely a creature of habit. He'd started out at six crawling down in the mine shafts to set charges and working for Mr Corley. But before they left, Rachel admitted she sensed a tension in Heath but would write if she figured it out.

Finally, the ranch loomed before them. Audra came running out to the gate and was waving frantically. Tom and Victoria waved back and were pleased when Heath stood up behind them and waved too. They were so excited to see everyone, they never noticed Audra start to cry and Jarrod pick her up.

"Where's Nicki?"

Heath was smiling and hugged Jarrod's waist while pulling at Audra's foot. The young girl shook her head and then buried it in Jarrod's shoulder. Jarrod held Heath's shoulder, quietly he made an attempt, "There's something we need to tell you about your dog, Heath".

Heath jerked away and veered from anyone's touch.

"NICKI!," Heath whistled and clapped his hands, "Com'on girl. I brought one of Hannah's biscuits for you".

The little boy reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out the lovingly wrapped treasure from Strawberry. His eyes were like large saucers and he glanced from face to face. Tom and Victoria moved to Jarrod's side.

"Jarrod," his father started to rub Audra's back, "Where's the dog?".

"There was an accident ..."

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Heath dropped the biscuit and ran through the house to the kitchen but Nicki's basket was gone. Silas was finishing supper and tried to hold on to the panic stricken boy.

"She ain't here, Mr Heath. I buried her out by the rose garden for you."

Heath looked up with wet eyes, "Buried her?".

"Yes, I'm sorry, Heath but ..."

Heath charged out the back door just as his father and the family rushed in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, Mr Barkley. I thought Heath knew."

Tom ran out the back. Victoria stopped and assured Silas he hadn't done anything wrong. Jarrod and Audra started to follow Tom but she stopped them.

"No, let's wait here a moment. Give Heath some time with your father."

They sat down at the kitchen table and Audra switched to her mother's lap. Jarrod began to tell his mother how the dog slipped out of her leash and got under a wagon wheel.

"It happened so fast, mother. I think she thought she heard Heath in the barn and was trying to find him."

Victoria comforted Audra and smiled weakly at Jarrod.

Tom had to put his full energy into his pace to catch Heath just inside the barn. Heath violently tried to wiggle away. At one point he succeeded and Tom barely caught his shoulder and dragged him back.

"Heath, stop!! HEATH!!! Stop, you're hurting me!!"

Heath fought on even harder. The boy flung his weight from side to side in an attempt to break Tom's grasp but he held on to Heath's wrists with all his strength.

Afraid he was going to hurt his son, Tom switched tactics and pulled him up into a bear hug.

Heath fought on. He kicked Tom's legs and used his fists to pound on his father's back. Tom squeezed him harder then shook him in an effort to make him listen.

"Heath, I'm sorry about your dog. Please, stop, you're hurting me. HEATH!!!"

The last shake stopped Heath and he crumpled into Tom's body. He was crying and breathing terribly hard.

"It's all my fault. I promised ... It's all my fault."

Tom moved over and sat on a bale of hay while pulling Heath into his lap.

"Heath, I love you more than you can even imagine. Please, tell me what's happening. You are frightening me."

"Don't you see?"

"No, son. I don't."

Heath looked up as if to check Tom's face for sincerity. Then he physically collapsed into his father's embrace.

"Don't love me. Oh please, papa, please don't love me."

Tom smiled and rustled Heath's hair, he tightened his grip, "Too late. I love you and I'm never stopping".

With those words the tears truly started. Heath shook with sobs and could hardly catch his breath. Tom rocked back and forth trying to figure out how telling his son he loved him could reduce him to utter anguish. Victoria joined them and was frightened by the complete breakdown Heath seemed to have entered. It was as if each sob came all the way from his toes. She walked over and got a towel, wet it, and returned to wipe his face before rubbing her fingers up and down his back. Much later, the boy seemed calmer but clung desperately to his father. Then he mumbled into Tom's chest.

"Pardon, Heath. What did you say, son?"

"It's all my fault. I promised God I would take care of her but I'm a bad seed and God didn't think I did a good job."

Tom and Victoria looked into each others eyes. Victoria clutched Tom's hand, they knew Heath was trusting them with his inner most secrets.

"I promised to work everyday and go to school if only God would let Nicki stay with me. It's all my fault for playing with you in Strawberry. God did it again."

"Did what?"

"God took Nicki from me because I'm so stupid, lazy, and useless. I'm a bad seed. Just like Reverend Lewis told me."

Victoria brushed her fingers through his hair, whispering, "What else did the Reverend tell you".

Heath started to sob once more. Tom rocked him. Jarrod and Audra came to the door and Victoria smiled her reassurance. They sat outside wishing Heath wasn't so sad about the dog.

"When ma got sick ... He told me it was right for God to make mother suffer. He said it was because she was evil and I ruined her life."

Tom was too emotional to speak but Victoria moved even closer to them both and encouraged Heath to continue.

"Rachel got mad and said it wasn't so. She told me to pray. I prayed and prayed, then I promised God I'd take care of my ma ... We wouldn't bother nobody else. Not the Reverend, not anybody! I promised, I promised, I'd work my hardest everyday if only He'd let my ma stay with me."

He buried his head deeper into Tom's shoulder, crying, "I must have been bad. I must have forgotten to do my chores ... One day, I went swimming with Henry. Oh, I must have been horribly bad for God to be so mad at me".

Victoria let him settle for a moment. Then she washed his face and Tom's before making them drink some water. Heath choked his down but started to cry again. Tom looked so desperate, she could only imagine what he was feeling.

She returned to rubbing Heath's back and hair, whispering, "Now Heath, I want you to think about this. Remember when you let me visit your mother's grave?"

He shook his head but keep his face hidden in Tom's shoulder.

"Remember you told me Reverend Lewis lied at your mother's funeral?"

No response but Tom looked up at her wondering where she was going.

"Think about it Heath. The man lies and he can't be a very good preacher or know much about God if he lies. Now, can he?"

The little boy turned his swollen wet eyes her way. Victoria forced her best mother's smile.

"Reverend Lewis lied often to you, too. Your mother was a good woman and the best mother any boy could have. Plus, God loves his children ... He didn't make her suffer. Leah was sick with the cancer and that's all there is to that."

Heath sat holding tight to Tom while he furiously bit at his bottom lip. The tears were slowing down.

"But I promised and a man don't break promises, especially to God."

Tom released his tension by laughing and pulling Heath into another bear hug. Then he sat the boy down on the hay bale between he and Victoria.

"I'm sure I can speak for Victoria, Heath. I've never met a harder working boy in my entire life. And part of work is taking care of all the parts in your life. I'm sure God thought it was just fine if you went swimming with Henry or rode to Strawberry with us."

"You do?"

Victoria chimed in, "Oh yes, we most certainly do. Your job is to be a boy ... There's time enough later for you to be a man".

"Why does everybody I love die?"

Tom hugged Heath then reached over and rubbed Victoria's back.

"Everybody and everything in this world dies, Heath. I don't know God's plan ... Nobody does. But I do know we have to learn to love each other everyday. God doesn't promise how many tomorrow's well have. How lonely we'd all be if we didn't have special people to love and who loved us. Love is God's best gift in my opinion.

"Victoria and I have lost people too. I'm so sorry about your mother and Nicki. You must believe me when I tell you their deaths had nothing to do with you. Its just that death is a part of life, something we need to accept as part of the gift of being here in the first place."

"But why?"

Heath fell over and put his face in his hands. Tom pulled him back in his lap. The sobs increased as Victoria moved over and put her arms around him too.

"I miss my mother."

"I know, I know, son. And you're always going to miss her. Victoria and I are here to help you through the pain, if you'll let us?"

Heath reached up and returned his father's hug. The three of them melted into tears.

Christmas afternoon, Tom and Victoria enjoyed a glass of port in the study. Jarrod was reading one of his new books while Heath and Audra played outside on the verandah. Nick was in the barn reshining the spirs he'd found under the tree. It had been a better morning than they'd expected. Heath was a bit shaken a few times but allowed the family to help him over the bad moments.

Audra came in and laid her head on Victoria's lap but Heath stayed outside playing with the pocket knife he'd received. He found a stick and started working on it. Nick came up and plopped down in a chair fully expecting Heath to run inside.

"Why don't you get, kid!"

Tom started to get up but Victoria held his arm.

"I'm busy. Besides I was here first and I have just as much right as you to be sitting on this here verandah!"

Heath never missed a slice on his stick and tried to hide the smile creeping onto his face.

"Oh ya ... "

Nick leaned forward and Heath heard his spirs jingle.

"Ya!" He never looked up and kept working.

"Oh!" Nick flopped back in his chair and stared at the ceiling.