Tempted: Part IV

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended.

The next two days passed in misery for the brothers. The sun beat relentless on their uncovered heads. Every morning they were slung over the backs of the horses like sacks of grain. Each evening they were cut loose to try to restore their circulation to their abused and battered bodies. After the second evening, when they released Heath from the horse, he fell to the ground in a crumbled heap and didn’t move. Jarrod moved to his brother’s side and dropped on his knees to the dirt. He could see his brother’s face was pale under his dark tan, his skin cold, and clammy. Jarrod was also willing to bet Heath’s chest was raw as his own from rubbing on the saddle. Jarrod went to Carlos and pleaded for him to release his hands so he could tend to his brother. Carlos had laughed in his face.

"You want to help the man that slept with your bride to be? You are a strange man," Carlos had replied.

Jarrod’s face burned at Carlos’ words but all he said was "Please."

Carlos considered the request and agreed to it. Hector released Jarrod’s hands and he quickly went back over to where his brother lay immobile. He dragged him over to some rocks and propped him up. He gave him some water from the canteen Hector had flung at their feet. The water helped revive Heath; he was still groggy but at least he was conscious. Two plates of food were handed to them. Jarrod slowly eat his while noticing only Heath toyed with his food.

The next day the men went to tie them back to the horses. Jarrod persuaded them to allow them to sit on the horses rather than be tied like a sack of grain. The men looked to Carlos for direction and he shrugged; they wouldn’t be with them much longer anyway. They tied the brothers’ hands to the saddle horn. It was a little more comfortable, though the sun still beat on their heads unmercifully.

The two brothers didn’t talk at all. Both were too exhausted and their was too much hurt between them. Jarrod assisted Heath each night though; he wasn’t even sure his brother even knew what was going on most of the time.

Two more days found them in the middle of a dry arid desert-like region. Carlos brought the horses to a halt. He motioned to two of his men who untied the brothers and forced them to dismount. Heath and Jarrod stood on the ground looking up at their captors.

"This is where we part company," Carlos said.

"You mean to leave us stranded in the middle of this desert," Jarrod asked in astonishment.

"Si, that is correct. You have wronged my sister and must be punished. I am a believer in fate and the will of God. If it is God’s will, you shall survive this ordeal. If not, then he will punish you for what you did to my sister by making this your death site."

"Carlos, be reasonable. We did not intentional dishonor your sister. She was not truthful," Jarrod pleaded

Jarrod tried to reason with Carlos again but he would not listen. Carlos just kept saying it was God’s will.

"Leaving us out here in the middle of this desert is the same thing as deliberate murder," Jarrod said firmly.

Carlos only shrugged and motioned to his men to move out.

"Wait, at least leave us some water. Give us a chance," Jarrod pleaded.

"I am not an unreasonable man." He gestured to one of his men to toss down his canteen. The man flung the canteen at Jarrod’s feet along with some trail rations. Carlos signaled his men and they rode off. Lupe took one last look over her shoulder and then joined her them doing nothing to help the stranded brothers.

Jarrod watched the men ride out of site.

"We’d best move out of the sun and plan what were going to do," Heath said. It was the first words he had spoken in days. Jarrod looked sharply as his brother. Silently they picked up the canteen and the rations and moved to a nearby rock formation searching for shade.

Nick called a halt and got off his horse. He looked closely at a group of hoof prints in the dirt. "Hey Madison. C’mere."

Madison dismounted and moved to Nick’s side.

"Doesn’t that look like the special shoe we put on Katie," Nick inquired.

"Sure does boss."

Nick stood up and scratched his chin. "We must have picked up their trail again. I’d guess were maybe three days behind them. Mount up, let’s go." Nick had some hope again.

The two men rested in the shade of the rocks. Jarrod had flopped on the ground but Heath made him get up and sit on a rock. He explained it was about 30 degrees cooler 12 inches off the ground. He had also handed Jarrod a few pebbles and told him to place them in his mouth to help combat dry mouth.

"If we rest during the day and walk at night, we can cover we can cover about 35 miles a day." Heath shook the canteen. "We have enough water to last a few days. If we don’t find water by then, we’ll probably die" he added matter-of-factly. "Our best bet is to follow our back trail. If anyone is searching to find us, they will be following that trail."

Jarrod looked at his brother’s grim face. He knew Heath had survived being stranded in the desert and he was speaking from experience, experience Jarrod didn’t have. He knew he would have to relay heavily on his brother’s expertise. This worried Jarrod as he watched Heath ease himself down. He suspected Heath was hurt from his previous fights with Nick and the recent ride had done him no good. And, thought Jarrod grimly. If something happens to Heath, it probably will mean death for me too. He needed Heath’s survival skills to get them both out … alive.

When the sun went down that night, they started their trek. The air grew colder as the sun set, but the effort to walk kept them warm. The moon shed enough light for them to be able to follow the hoof prints through the desert floor. Heath made them drink sips of water every so often even though Jarrod insisted he could last. Heath just shook his head and said drink. Jarrod gave in to his brother superior knowledge and did as he was told.

As the night wore on, Heath seemed to move slower and stumble more often. Jarrod asked for more frequent rest breaks, even though he didn’t really need them. He suspected Heath did. When the sun started up on the horizon, they looked for shelter for the day. They found another rock formation and huddled in its shadow. Jarrod watched out of the corner of his eye as his brother lowered himself to the rock ledge to rest. He was pressing on the side of his rib cage and cringing. Once down ,he rubbed his forehead as if he had a headache. When Jarrod questioned him he said no but Jarrod didn’t believe him. Jarrod broke out hardtack and handed half to Heath. Jarrod noticed he made no move to eat it. He insisted Heath try and his brother made the effort to swallow and chew. A little while later Heath vomited.

Jarrod may not have known a lot about desert survival but he did know about heat exhaustion and his brother was showing the classic signs of it. Jarrod wondered how long it would be until he succumbed too.

The boys tried to sleep as much as possible during the day to conserve energy. Jarrod was finding it hard to sleep, so he lay in silently thinking about the events that had brought them here.

He was able to forgive his brother to some degree because Jarrod truly believed that Lupe had toyed with Heath’s emotions and much as she had played on his own. However, it was still bothering him that Heath had never come and told him he knew Lupe, even when Jarrod and Carmella had announced they were to be married. He thought he and Heath were close. Jarrod had thought they had bonded after Jarrod saved Heath’s life after Libby’s death. Had he been wrong? Was Heath so afraid to come talk to him? Jarrod glanced over at this brother and saw he was awake too.

"Heath."

His brother shifted his eyes in his direction.

"Why didn’t you tell me about Lupe?" Jarrod bluntly asked.

Heath leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He took so long to answer Jarrod had given up.

"When I first saw her, in front of the hotel, I thought she’d gotten off the stage. I thought he had come to see me. I had written a letter to her a few months ago. I asked her if she still had feelings for me," Heath said swallowing hard.

He’d written a letter? To Lupe? Jarrod hadn’t known this.

Heath continued. "When I disappeared for those two days, I went to San Francisco; to track her down. I don’t know what I was hoping to learn. I guess I was looking for answers. I tracked her down and we talked. I learned she’d never gotten my letter and wasn’t here because of me," Heath said, his voice filled with anguish, "She was so… strange. First she came on to me, I swear it and then she flat out told me to leave, that she was your girl, and she never wanted to see me again. I didn’t know what to think. I left more confused then when I came. As I rode the train back to the ranch I vowed to put her from my mind."

Jarrod was shook up. He had no idea Heath had chased Lupe to San Francisco.

Heath hung his head in shame. "Then, the day in the barn," Heath continued, his voice raw with emotion. "She came in when I was alone. I’d tried to avoid her for the last week and had been successful. But alone, in the barn…" Heath looked at his brother, pleading him to believe what he was about to say. "I told her to go away. That she was your girl. But she told me she loved me, and wanted to be with me. I swear Jarrod, she touched me and I couldn’t control myself…and," Heath said trembling. "And that was when Nick came in and found us," he said, his voice trailing off.

Jarrod sat back and digested what Heath had just told him. He was hurt. Hurt by his brother’s action and hurt to realize the girl he loved did not truly love him. But he also knew he was right. Lupe had used Heath. Still Jarrod had to know more. His lawyers’ instinct for the whole story kept nagging at him. He couldn’t help himself. He had to know. After a few minutes he asked, "You knew Lupe in the past, in Mexico. I gather you two had a physical relationship back then?" Jarrod probed.

Heath minutely shook his head yes.

"I see. And what ever came of that … relationship?"

Heath fiddled with the button on his sleeve. "I asked her to marry me. She said no and told me to leave town." Heath closed his eyes and shook his head. "To be rejected again, after Sarah. To be rejected even by the devil daughter."

Jarrod cocked an eyebrow at his brother. "The devil’s daughter?"

"There was a girl once, a girl who I loved deeply and when I asked her to marry me she turned me down and married God instead. She became a nun." Heath said bitterly.

Jarrod almost laughed, though deep down he knew it wasn’t funny.

"I decided my life was a cruel joke, designed by a hurtful God. I decided if I wasn’t good enough for a God fearing woman like Sarah then by God I would seek out the devil’s daughter. And you know what?" Heath said ironically looking at Jarrod. "I think I found her in Lupe. She caused me to do things that I never imagined myself capable of. I’m not saying I was a Saint." He half-heartedly grinned at Jarrod. "No that’s your specialty." Heath continued on seriously. "In those years after Sarah rejected me and before I came to Stockton I did things, things which, well are better left forgotten. But, the worse thing I did was to betray you." Heath turned away from his brother, unable to look him in the face. "Jarrod, I’m sorry. If we get out of this, I promise…" Heath didn’t finish his thought but forced himself to his feet and moved away, leaving Jarrod in solitude.

Jarrod sat in silence, thinking about what Heath had said. He could understand how easy it must have been for Lupe to manipulate his brother. He could understand why Heath did what he did, all but one thing. Jarrod still was very hurt by the fact that Heath didn’t come to him in the beginning and tell him about Lupe.

As evening came, the brothers set off again in silence. One could have said it was to conserve energy; it took all their efforts to keep placing one foot in front of the other. However, the real reason was there was too much to say, too much hurt and they needed to focus on the matter at hand. Survival.

As the sun rose on the next morning, the brothers found shade in an washed out riverbed. Heath joked if there was a rainstorm they’d have to move. One look at the bright, cloudless sky and Jarrod knew it wasn’t something they had to worry about. Their progress had been much slower last night. At times, Jarrod was forced to help his brother walk along. His brother’s skin was very hot to the touch, even if the coolness of the desert nights.

When they stopped for the day, Heath fell to the ground and immediately drifted off to sleep or unconsciousness; Jarrod wasn’t sure which. He tried to rouse Heath to eat but he didn’t have any success. Later that day when Heath seemed coherent, Jarrod managed to get him to swallow some water, but the food remained untouched. Jarrod prayed, as he never had before, that help would soon arrive.

Jarrod realized he wasn’t doing all that much better than his brother. He had woken in the middle of the day and swore he saw a rider approaching. Jarrod left the shade and ran into the brutal sun, jumping up and down and waving his arms to attract the rider. The commotion woke Heath. He had dragged Jarrod back into the shade and forced him to the ground. Heath kept telling him he was hallucinating and there was no rider. Finally, Jarrod’s fevered brain accepted the fact it had been tricked. After that episode, Heath used the strap of the canteen to bind together their wrist while they slept. At least if one tried to walk off into the desert chasing a hallucination, the other one would be alerted.

Their water ran out in the middle of their third evening in the desert. They didn’t speak as they drained the last drops from the canteen. They knew their hand was nearly up.

Jarrod thought Heath was hallucinating as the sun came up the next morning. They had been trudging along over the gravely ground with no more thought than placing one foot in front of the other. Heath had lifted his head to scan the horizon to determine the sun’s progress. Water, he had croaked as he veered off into the desert. Jarrod had lifted his head but saw nothing. He stumbled after his brother to bring him back from his water disillusion. Heath stopped in front of a lone barrel cactus and started patting his pockets. He searched in a desperate fashion until his hand finally came to rest on his pocketknife. Disregarding the thorns, he started to hack away at the cactus. Jarrod tied to pull his brother away but Heath flung off his restraining hand. It’s water Jarrod, don’t you see? Heath had asked. Heath cut into the center of the barrel cactus, which contained a wet meaty interior, like an apple. He showed Jarrod how to squeeze out the juice, warning him not to eat the pulp. They let the bitter liquid trickle down their throats knowing they perhaps had bought a little more time on the life.

After getting as much liquid as possible from the cactus, they moved back to the faint trail and continued on looking for shelter. The sun was barely on the horizon when they found a place to stop; already the heat of the day could be felt. They collapsed to the ground, both avoiding the conversation that had to take place on choices.

Heath finally broke the silence. "We’re out of water. We have to decide where to go from here. If we stay here, conserve all our energy, and pray someone finds us we may last another day or perhaps two. If we try to start walking again, without a water source, I think we’ll be lucky to get another 10 miles and then we’ll die. Not much of a choice," Heath said bitterly.

"What do you recommend?" Jarrod asked.

Heath ran a hand through his hair and massaged the back of his neck. If I know I’m going to die, I’d prefer to get it over with. However, a part of me still believes in, fate, luck, hope call it what you want." Heath gazed off in the distance and added more to himself then anyone "I found a family after 24 years of searching, what were the odds of that." Heath shook his head to bring his focus back on the problem at hand. "I’d say we stay put and hope someone finds us."

"I agree, but I think it would be useful if we built some sort of marker, so anyone coming down the trail doesn’t miss us." In case we’re laying dead, Jarrod added in his mind. He scanned the horizon. "There is a lot of territory out there," he concluded wearily.

They looked around trying to determine how to build their marker. They finally settled on piling a bunch of rocks on top of each other as there were no other materials on hand. They worked slowly in the sun to build the structure. They both knew they were losing precious fluids to build this, but it was a risk they deemed necessary.

When they finished, it stood about four feet high. Afraid from a distance, it would look like a rock, they decided they it needed something to make it stand out from it’s desert surrounding. They stood staring doltishly at the pile. Finally, Heath started unbuttoning his shirt. Jarrod stared at him mutely. He took off his shirt and anchored it under the top most rocks. It stood out as a splash of blue on an otherwise tan background.

Heath could already feel the sun beating harshly down on his unprotected torso. He and Jarrod moved quickly to their spot of shade They forgo their ritually nightly binding; Jarrod doubted either of them had the stretch to move. They lay still as possible to conserve every last bit of water their dehydrated bodies held.

As night fell, the temperature dropped as usual. However, they weren’t moving this time and the cold felt penetrating, especially after the heat of the day. The boys choose to lay directly on the ground to catch the last of the heat being radiated from the soil. About halfway through the night, Jarrod sensed his brother’s body start to vibrate. He glanced over at his shirtless brother and realized he was shivering. Jarrod knew this was dangerous; shivering used energy which used up water which meant one step closer to death. He pressed his body against his brothers willing the heat of his own skin to warm his brother’s. Uneventfully, the shivering abated and Jarrod drifted back off to sleep or unconscious, he didn’t know which. As the sun rose the next morning, neither man moved.

Nick rode along seething. He wanted to push the horses harder but he knew Madison was right; this heat was a killer and if they lost the horses… well he won’t want to be on foot in this area. They were traveling during part of the day, but rested the animals at the height of the afternoon sun. Even so, the wear and tear was beginning to show.

Nick never rested when they stopped. He paced about the camp checking and double-checking the horses, saddles, supplies; anything to keep his mind busy. Sometimes he would stop, stand still and stare out into the desert, as if to will his brothers to appear. Nick inspected his pocket watch. Long enough he decided and he yelled for the men to mount up again.

As dusk started to fall, Nick thought he spotted something on the trail up ahead. It looked like a pile of rocks except for a splash of blue on it. Nick rubbed a weary hand across his eyes. Was he hallucinating? Urging Coco quicker, he drew closer to the object. It was definitely not a natural formation. He came along side the pile, reached down and pulled the blue material out of the rocks. It was a shirt, a men’s shirt. In fact, it looked like Heath’s favorite blue chambray shirt; the one he was always wearing.

"Fan out and check the area," Nick yelled to the men. "They might be near here." Nick’s heart pounded as he rode in the direction of a nearby rock formation. If they were here, they’d be in the shade. As he came around the lee side of the rock he saw them, lying motionless. His stomache tightened in fear. Nick threw himself off his horse and ran to Jarrod’s side. He stripped his black leather glove from his right and reached out to check if he was alive. His finger sought the artery in his brother’s neck. He momentarily panicked when he couldn’t feel anything then willed himself to try again, slowly and carefully. There, faint but he had it. Tears welled up in his eyes. He dashed them away with the back of his hand. He yelled for the men to bring water.

Madison came around the formation with the canteens. Nick told him to check on Heath. Nick took one of the canteens and raised Jarrod torso. Cradling him gently, he poured a little water between Jarrod’s parched lips. Easy, Nick told himself. Just a little, a few sips. Nick knew giving Jarrod too much water could be as fatal as giving him none.

Madison, after checking to assure Heath was alive, proceeded to give him sips of water too. Neither man woke as they were tended too. When he was satisfied he got enough water in his brother for a start, Nick gently laid him back down. He realized he still had Heath’s shirt in his possession. He looked at it and thought he’d never complain if Heath chose to wear that shirt for the rest of his life. He handed it over to Madison who placed it back on the unconscious man. Night fell around them.

They decided it would be best to start moving immediately, under the cool night sky. Nick figured they were within a three-day ride of the nearest town. Nick didn’t like it, but he had to tie his brothers to the extra horses he brought from them as neither one had gained conscious. Nick slung a blanket over each of their saddles before tying them on. Nick knew the blankets would only offer limited relief, but he felt strongly if he didn’t get his brothers out of this environment soon, they’d die.

They moved as fast as they dared considering the horse’s and his brother’s conditions. Nick called frequent stops to try to force water into his brother’s slack lips. At the last stop, Nick had thought Jarrod might wake up. He had mumbled something then drifted back off.

Jarrod slowly became aware of movement. He was moving but not under his own accord. He took a breath and became conscious of the odor of horse. He heard the clip-clop of shod hoofs on the ground but chided himself for imagining things. He slowly opened his eyes and tried to focus. It took him a few minutes to realize he was staring at a horse blanket and if he shifted his eyes, he could see horse legs and the ground. He tried to move, his mind finally realizing he was slung over a horse. Jarrod tried to move his legs and discovered they were tied. No, his mind screamed. They were captured, back in Carlos’ possession. Jarrod started thrashing on the horse.

"Nick," Madison called urgently. "I think Jarrod’s having a seizure."

Nick yanked Cocoa’s head around. He could see Jarrod thrashing. He leapt from Cocoa’s back and ran to his brother’s side. "Help me get him untied," Nick shouted. They quickly released Jarrod from the horse and slide him gently on to the ground. Nick could see his brother’s bright blue eyes were open.

"Jarrod, Jarrod for God’s sake it me," Nick cried pitifully.

A voice, Jarrod thought. A voice he should recognize, that he found comforting if perhaps a tad loud. His heat addled brain finally made the final connections. He focused his eyes on the man holding him, Nick. "Nick," he croaked.

Nick hugged his brother close to his own body. Tears of joy sprung unbidden from his eyes. He wasn’t ashamed. He loosened his hug and looked at his brother’s face. He didn’t care that tears coursed downed his own grime-encrusted face. The rest of the men moved away to give the brothers some privacy.

"I can’t tell you how happy I am to see your face," Jarrod said his voice catching. "Even if it is dirty."

The two brothers embraced again, reaffirming to each other they were alive.

"C’mon. Let me help you up," Nick said gruffly as he wiped the back of his hand across his tear-streaked face. He placed his hands under Jarrod’s arms and slowly helped him rise. He held on to his brother’s arm to support him while Jarrod leaned his other arm against the horse. Jarrod stood there for a few minutes getting his bearings. His eyes swept over the group of men and came to rest on a man, slung over a horse. Jarrod sagged against his horse and Nick tightened his hold to support his brother. No, Jarrod mind screamed. He can’t be dead. I can’t survive only to have him die. Jarrod shuddered and took a deep breath. Looking at the still form of the man on the horse he choked out the words, "Is he dead?"

Nick looked at his brother in puzzlement. He followed his brother’s gaze and came to rest on Heath who was still tied to the horse.

"No. We just had to tie him to the horse, same as you so he won’t fall off," Nick said matter-of-factly. "C’mon Jarrod, let’s move you over here where you can rest for a few minutes."

Jarrod didn’t move. "You’re just gonna leave him there?" Jarrod asked plaintively

Nick shook his head in disbelief. "We have to getting moving soon. There’s no sense takin' him down. Now come over and sit down here for a few minutes before we have to get moving again."

Jarrod allowed himself to be led to a nearby rock onto which he sank gratefully. He was so very weak. Nick handed him a canteen and saw to it he drank some down.

Jarrod needed help getting into the saddle again when it was time to move out. Nick gave him and boost and rode close by his side making sure he was alright. Jarrod glanced over at Heath’s prone body, wishing there was some other way to transport him. Jarrod winced when he remembered how it felt to ride like that.

They rode until 9:00 the next morning before Nick called a halt. He was concerned about Jarrod going any further. His brother has been wavering in the saddle for the past few hours. Nick decided it would be best to camp until the late afternoon when the sun was less intense.

Nick helped Jarrod off his horse, his brother practically falling into his arms. Nick led him to some shade and helped him settle comfortably. Jarrod couldn’t keep his eyes open and barely was able to swallow the water Nick forced on him before tumbling into oblivion.

Madison untied Heath from his horse and carried him to some shade. He gently placed the boy down and forced some water between his unresponsive lips.

Jarrod woke up a few hours latter. He was not refreshed by any means, but felt somewhat better then he had when they first stopped. He looked about the camp and sniffed appreciatively. Someone had made some food. His stomache growled and Jarrod laughed. He hadn’t realized he was hungry.

Heath. The name flit across his mind. Jarrod searched the camp again and saw his brother’s still form across the way. Jarrod slowly made his way to his feet and over to his brother’s side. Jarrod sat down heavily, God he was weak, and looked at his brother’s face. Did it look better than the last time he saw it? Jarrod couldn’t recall. He saw a shadow fall over them and looked up to see Nick staring down at them in disapproval.

"Has he gained consciousness/" Jarrod asked.

"No," Nick replied in a monotone.

Jarrod looked hard at his brother. He could see anger and resentment in Nick’s eyes… towards Heath? Jarrod’s was still to tired to figure out what was going on and let himself be quietly led over to get some food.

Sometime during the next hour Heath regain consciousness. He swept the camp with his eyes, searching for … Jarrod, he was sitting next to Nick? Yes, that was definitely Nick; apparently they had been rescued. Jarrod was OK and Heath’s mind eased a little. Heath felt a tide of weariness wash over him and he let go allowing himself to sink back into the depths of oblivion.

Jarrod cringed as the tied Heath to his horse again. He prayed his brother would wake up, if just for the fact it would save Jarrod from having to watch his body be battered in a manner Jarrod was all to recently familiar with. However, it wasn’t to be so and they set off again. Nick, as usual, took his post at Jarrod’s side. My guardian angel he thought as Nick reached out again to steady Jarrod in the saddle.

Jarrod kept looking at Heath to see if there were any signs of movement and finally he was rewarded. He saw Heath’s head move as he, like Jarrod had, tried to survey were he was. Jarrod called to Nick to stop as he stumbled off his horse. He collapsed as his feet hit the ground and Nick was quickly at his side helping him to his feet.

"What’s the matter?" Nick said, his tone clearly indicating he had no idea why his brother stopped.

"Heath, he awake. We have to get him off that horse," Jarrod said urgently.

Nick snorted. All this fuss, because his traitor brother was awake. "You should just leave him there. He only going to fall off," Nick said with contempt.

Jarrod looked at his brother in disbelief. "How can you say that Nick. Why would you want him to suffer anymore than he already has."

"I think it should be plainly obvious. That boy betrayed us, betrayed you. He’s no better than a common criminal. We should have left him in the desert to die," Nick exclaimed.

"Nick, you don’t really mean that," Jarrod asked in a surprised vote.

Nick back-down a little. "Well, maybe leaving him to die won’t be right. But he did betray the family and I aim to see he doesn’t ever get a second chance," Nick answered venomously.

Jarrod was taken back by the force of Nick’s emotions. He was at a loss for words, Jarrod the lawyer at a loss. He decided to ignore his brother’s outburst.

"Help me get him down, Madison, Jeff," Jarrod commanded, sounding like his old self.

They took Heath off the horse and he half walked, was half carried to a nearby stump. Jarrod brought over the canteen and helped raise it to his parched brother’s lips. Heath drank a small amount then pushed it away. Heath could feel Nick’s eye boring down on him. Heath had heard every word of the exchange between Nick and Jarrod.

They rested for an hour, giving Heath a chance to recover. Jarrod wanted to rest longer, Nick wanted to leave. Heath pushed himself unsteadily off the rock and ended the argument by walking over to his horse. When he got to the far side he took a deep breath and hauled himself upright in the saddle. Inside, he knew he almost didn’t make it. He felt the black tide come rushing into his brain and with great effort he managed to push it back remaining conscious. He wouldn’t be a burden to his brothers. He looked down expectantly at this brother as if to say, what are you waiting for? Jarrod glared at Nick and turned and mounted his horse. When Heath thought his brother’s backs were turned he dropped his head to his chest and took a deep breath, his shoulder hunched over in pain. He slowly exhaled and then sat straight in the saddle. What Heath didn’t know was Jarrod saw the whole thing; saw through his act to the pain underneath.

The next days passed in a blur for Jarrod. In a way he was thankful they did. He didn’t feel up to facing reality, yet.

They rode as far as Nick thought he could push his brothers each day before stopping. At night it was the same routine. Stop, crawl off the horse and find a place to sleep. Nick was there every step of the way to help Jarrod. Nick pointedly ignored Heath. Heath didn’t care. He had long since withdrew into his own world. He barely even spoke to Jarrod, the few times he had the energy to try to engage his brother in conversation. Jarrod knew he eventually had to try to fix the situation.

What a commotion when they arrived back at the ranch. Mother and Audra fussed over the two brothers day and night. Jarrod almost enjoyed the attention. He certainly enjoyed the soft bed, good food and water, lots of cool precious water. For the first couple of days after the brothers returned home, Jarrod and Heath slept most of the time, as they should the Doctor told a concerned Victoria.

Victoria could see a rift had developed between the brothers. Nick refused to have anything to do with Heath, Heath refused to have anything to do with anyone and Jarrod was like a ping-pong ball bouncing back and forth between them.

Victoria decided to talk to Jarrod first. She herself didn’t know what she felt about the fact that Heath had betrayed his brother. Oh, she could see how it could happen. But…

Victoria found Jarrod sitting in a chair in his den.

"Mind if I come in," she inquired.

"Please, sit," Jarrod replied graciously.

Victoria settled in a chair across from her son. He studied her face as she sat down.

"You’re here to talk about Heath, right?"

Victoria smiled. It was hard to hide anything from him.

"I suppose," Jarrod went on, "You’re wondering how I feel about what happened."

Victoria nodded her head but added, "Unless you’d rather not talk about it."

Jarrod sighed and rubbed a weary hand across his face. He still looked haggard from his ordeal.

"I can forgive Heath for everything that happened with Carmella. I see now how she used both of us. She would have done anything to get her hands on money. Oh Mother, how could I have been such a fool," Jarrod lamented, burying his face in his hands.

Victoria moved over to her son’s side to comfort him.

"In a way, I’m more upset with myself for being so foolish and not seeing through Carmella."

Victoria made soothing noises and hugged her son. "Jarrod, love can make a fool out of the best of us. Don’t let this make you bitter."

Jarrod smiled at his mother and stroked her hair. "So wise." He took a deep breath and continued. "No, I can’t truly hold Heath’s actions against him," Jarrod said as he got up from his chair.

"But," his mother prodded gently.

Jarrod stopped pacing and faced her. "All right. What does bother me is why he didn’t come and talk to me. He could have told me about their past. Did he really think I wouldn’t understand or that I would hold it against him. That is what hurts most of all, that he didn’t trust me enough to come to me." Jarrod sat down in the chair with and sighed. "I thought we were close. I thought…I don’t know."

Victoria understood why Jarrod was upset. Heath had managed to hurt his brother in the one way that counted most. Jarrod could forgive a lot, but to break his trust was a serious thing.

"You have to talk to him, about this you know."

Jarrod shook his head affirmatively.

"And, I think you need to talk to Nick too, tell him how you feel. I know Nick hasn’t forgiven Heath, but I think it is for the wrong reason."

Jarrod nodded a second time.

"Jarrod, if there is one thing I have come to realize about Heath, is he is far better at punishing himself than anyone else. Go help him let up on himself." Victoria got out of the chair, kissed her son and left him.

She was right, as always.

"Nick, I want to talk to you," Jarrod said as his brother came through the hallway.

"Sure Jarrod, what about?"

"In the study."

Nick shrugged and followed after his brother. Jarrod closed the door firmly and turned to Nick.

"I want you to call off you vendetta against Heath and apologize.

"Whadda ya talking about," Nick scowled.

"You have been going out of your way to punish Heath ever since we got back from the desert."

"I don’t know what you are talking about. I haven’t laid a hand on that boy."

"No, you haven’t physically harmed him, but mentally, you are killing him. Every chance you get you put him down, make side remarks and humiliate him. What do you think that is doing to him. Don’t you think he feels bad enough about what happened without you coming along reminding him every chance you get. I’m warning you Nick, lay off him," Jarrod finished angrily.

Nick rounded on his brother. "I don’t understand you Jarrod. You of all people, how can you stand there and defend him after what he did to you. After he betrayed you," Nick said in utter disgust. "No, he should be run off this ranch like any other no good bum."

Jarrod strode across the room and smack his brother in the face with the back of his hand. "I don’t ever want to here you talk about your family like that and he is a member of this family. I suggest you never forget that," Jarrod said with unveiled contempt.

Nick stared at his brother. He started to say something back and Jarrod cut him off.

"Don’t even go there Nick. What happened is between me and Heath and if anyone has the right to be angry at him it’s me. And I am, but not," he said looking his brother straight in the eye, "at least not for the reason you think.

Nick stood there quietly, hands folded across his chest, waiting for his brother, goading his brother to continue.

"That girl made a fool out of all of us. Me, Heath and even you Nick. We were so blind we couldn’t see past her beauty to the evil that lurked beneath. She wanted one thing and one thing only from this family. Our money. She didn’t give a damn about Heath," Jarrod added bitterly, "or me."

"Can’t you see Nick, can’t you see that she used us. Can’t you see that she used Heath every bit as much as she used me?" Jarrod pleaded with his brother to understand.

Nick unfolded his arms and his posture relaxed. Maybe Jarrod was right. Maybe they had been fools over this girl.

"But, you said you are still angry with Heath. If not for the girl then what?" demanded Nick.

"I am angry, because I thought he trusted me, this family enough to come to us first with his problems. I guess I was wrong. Maybe we haven’t done such a good job at bringing him into this family as I thought," Jarrod replied wearily as he sank into a chair.

Nick came over and sat across from him. "Guess, I haven’t been helping matters," Nick said gruffly. Jarrod looked at his brother and smiled. "I guess we both have some fences to mend."

Nick smiled back.

Nick got to his fence mending right away; he wasn’t the kind of man to delay. He scouted about the house ferreting Heath out. He finally found him up in the hayloft, a place Nick knew Heath often came to escape. Today, Nick didn’t honor his sanctum sanctorium and went right on up.

"You and me need to talk," his said straight out to his brother.

Heath took his shirt that had been behind his head as a pillow and started to put it on. Nick gave a hard look at his brother. He still looked ragged from the desert ordeal; you could see his rib cage pressing against his taunt skin. Nick had to smile as Heath put on his shirt. He knew him well enough to know that was Heath’s way of covering his nervousness; fiddling with his shirt.

"See you’re still wearing those mangy, old blue shirts."

"I don’t think I’ll ever give these shirts up. They may be the only reason I’m here today, instead of dead out there in that desert."

"Yeah, well I wanted to talk to you about that, I mean the desert and well how I’ve been behaving since you got back."

Nick could see his brother tense up. Probably waiting to receive another tongue lashing from me Nick thought ruefully.

"I just wanna say I’m sorry."

Heath’s blue eyes sought out Nick’s in disbelief. His eyes plainly said they didn’t believe what his ears had heard.

"I was hard on you and well, it wasn’t really deserved. Mind you, that doesn’t mean I agree what you did with Lupe was right."

Heath lowered his head and stared at the floor.

"But, it means, well, I can understand how it could happen."

Heath raised his head and gave his brother a twisted, half grin. "Thanks Nick."

Nick shuffled his feet. "Well, git up off that straw and lets go see what Mother has for lunch. You looked like something a washerwomen would used to clean clothes on. Why I seen cattle that after a long drought look healthier than you do," Nick said affectionately.

Heath took the offered hand and got to his feet. The two boys headed off to the house. The fence mended.

Jarrod’s turn at fence mending came shortly thereafter. He waylaid Heath as the boys finished lunch.

"Could we talk for a minute?" Jarrod inquired.

Heath shrugged and warily followed his brother into the study.

Jarrod sat on the corner of his desk and stared at his brother. Heath nervously moved about the room finally lighting on the arm of the chair.

Jarrod studied his brother, thinking his Mother was right. No matter what other people said, this man was very good at his own punishment. He wondered what he really knew about this man at times. Jarrod took a deep breath and then plunged in.

"Heath, I know I asked you this before, but I want a straight answer now. Why didn’t you come and talk to me about Carmella? Didn’t you have enough faith in me, did you think you could trust me with this problem?"

Heath looked at his brother in a new light. Jarrod wasn’t upset because of him and Lupe as much as he was upset because he thought Heath didn’t trust him.

"I…I don’t know what to say Jarrod. I wanted to talk to you, planned to but somehow…" his voice drifted off. He tried again. "It doesn’t mean I don’t trust you Jarrod. I would trust you with anything, my life. And it doesn’t mean I don’t think of you as a close friend and as a brother. Its just…it’s just." Heath rubbed a hand across his face and sighed. "For twenty-four years I have been on my own when it came to, well, came to me to trusting and confiding in people. Oh, I could talk to my Ma when I was young, but as I grew older, well, there are things a boy just can’t tell his mother. And with no brothers, no fathers, no close relatives and friends that came and went, I learned to keep counsel with myself. I’m not use to talking to others about my problems and well, I’m sorry Jarrod. I was wrong. I should have come to you. After all," Heath gave Jarrod one of those fleeting smiles, "that’s what family is for. Or at least that’s what I’ve been told."

Jarrod walked over and hugged his brother. He could understand why Heath hadn’t come to him and he could accept his answer. Maybe next time, things would be easier and Heath would come to him.

The brother’s broke the embrace and stood there shyly.

"She was still some women," Jarrod said wistfully.

"That she was," Heath concurred.

"I pity the next man she ensnares," Jarrod added.

Heath nodded his agreement.

Jarrod lightened up. "What ya say we gather the rest of this family of ours and head to town for dinner, a celebration of sorts."

"What are we celebrating?" Heath asked as the went out the door.

"Life, love, happiness, but most of all family," he said as he clapped his brother on the shoulders.

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