The Midnight Train Crossing

There's a picture on this page, I promise :)

Altar Boyz is a very funny show - it's a parody of Boy Bands. They are on the final performance of their Raise the Praise Tour. I've had the sound track for awhile, but I didn't know much with the story.

I liked the set from the get go, they had Altar Boyz in a starry sign above the band. (There was a band sitting on the stage). After we were sitting down, a voice came over the loudspeaker, "The Altar Boyz are in the building. The show will begin in ____ minutes."

When the show finally started, a guy walked out with a fog machine. He sprayed it around the stage rather unenthusiastically and then stalked off, as though he was bored by the whole thing. That pretty much set the tone for the whole show.
So the lights came up and the Boyz were on the stage - all in black, striking a dramatic pose. I think that the first number, when they introduce themselves, is the one with the most "boy band" like choreography.

In between each of their songs, they also had a little scene that transitioned nicely from one song to the other. There was a lot of intentionally bad acting among the Boyz, which was really funny - especially in the scene that lead up to the song "Church Rulez"
"Did you know that there's a place with a really rockin' scene?"
"Why no! Where is this place?"
"Why it's all over the place!"

I don't know if I could say who my favorite character was, all five of them were fantastic. They all had great singing voices.

There's Matthew (Philip Drennen) the leader, and the writer of the music. He was also sort of the "narrator" of the show, and he had a very nice voice. I know all about what "Something About You" is about, so I knew what was coming, but most of the people in the audience didn't.
He pulled a girl up part way through the song. I knew he was going to, so I was spending part of the time thinking "Not me, not me, not me. Oh good."
So the girl was a really good sport about it, playing along. The people behind us were wondering if she was in on it. I don't know. Either way though, she did a good job. The look that Mark gave her was fantastic.

The review in the paper described Mark (Dan Scott) as "effeminate ninety percent out of the closet young man." There's not much I can say to improve on that description - besides adding how very sparkly he was. While he was not exactly, hanging on Matthew, he was definitely crushing on him. That's the reason for the fantastic look at the end of Matthew's song.
Mark's song is called "Epiphany" and it had a brilliant build up. Mark comes out and says that he understands that sometimes people have to hide who and what they are, and he tells this story about how he was picked on as a child because of how he talked and walked. It's rough... but sometimes... you just have to come out and confess to the world what you are - Catholic!
I thought that the guy sitting behind me was going to hit the ceiling, he laughed so hard. He didn't see that one coming - it made the song that much funnier.
I don't know if I imagined this or not, but during the course of the song, as Mark's voice got stronger and stronger, he seemed to stop posing.

Luke (Anton Fero) just looked awesome. He was the "tough guy" of the group, and he drove the van. That was a funny scene, when all of them were introducing themselves, and they couldn't figure out what Luke's role was. He was looking a bit upset until they came up with the fact that he drives the van.
I liked his hair - it kind of floofed out around his hat.
He also did a lot of break dancing moves, and a lot of acrobatics. I was very impressed with his dancing.
Luke suffers from exhaustion, due to the communion wine. He knows that a lot of people suffer from exhaustion.
His big song is "Body, Mind & Soul" and it was great fun. He goes a bit crazy bouncing around the stage and running around the audience "I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe!" Then he stopped, sitting on the ground and catching his breath.

Juan (Adam Cassel) does the choreography. As indicated by his name, he's Hispanic, Mexican actually. He is an orphan, raised by nuns until he was full grown. They taught him about God and Jesus and how to speak with a Spanish accent. He is looking for his parents.
His big song is "La Vida Eternal" (Eternal Life), about heaven and life after death. It's next on the schedule of their concert, but he's an emotional wreck at the time, so he can't quite manage to sing it all. He keeps running off the stage during the song, which was funny. The rest of the characters took turns retrieving him from off stage.
They had a lot of fun with his rather thick accent and some cultural problems. One scene in the show is "Confessions" where the Altar Boyz read fake confessions that the audience had supposedly submitted. One woman coveted her neighbors ass. Juan said that was nothing to be ashamed of, he is from Mexico and he understand all about donkeys. The woman should tell her neighbor what a nice donkey she has, and offer her a nice carrot for her donkey. If she is nice, perhaps her neighbor would let her pet, or ever ride her donkey. Although he did not say donkey. The other fun thing with his accent was that when he would say the word "you", the "y" would make a "j" sound, so it sounded like "jew".

Abraham (Tim Dolan) is the final member of the group. He's sort of the odd one out, because he's not Catholic, he's Jewish. This led to a bunch of fun jokes. For one thing, when the other four would cross themselves, he exaggeratedly drew a Star of David across his chest. He's the lyricist of the group, so he knows all of the songs. He had to cover for Juan when he ran off the stage.
One of his big songs is "Everybody Fits". He feels like he's the odd one out, because he's not Catholic, and he doesn't seem to belong. I initially thought that he sounded a bit odd, how he was pronouncing certain words. Then the others come out with Lamb Chop puppets, which kinda got a "???" response from him. I realized that the strange pronunciation that he was doing was actually... well... how Lamb Chop pronounces some words. At the end of the song, they presented him with a Lamb Chop puppet dressed as a rabbi.
His other big song is "I Believe" which is being show stopping number at the end. That's sort of the song that brought them all together, because Matthew wrote the music, but couldn't think of lyrics. And it's just a pretty song.

Other favorite parts:

They recount the story of how they all met - with more bad acting (initially). They have prepared a little skit entitled "The Genesis of the Altar Boys." There is a narrator from the loud speakers, credited as the Voice of God.
First, there was the Genesis of the Altar Boyz According to Matthew, where he is writing a song, but he can't think of the words. He laments to Mark about his problem. This was one of the moments in the show where Mark was actually not behaving that flamboyantly, probably because this was Matt's point of view, and he doesn't see Mark that way. But in the Genesis of the Altar Boyz According to Mark, Mark was quite flirty, and Matthew almost seemed to respond to it. Almost.
In the Genesis According to Luke, he comes in with the Chalice from the Lord's Supper, munching communion wafers. There is awkward silence.
Juan's entrance was awesome - he sprang into the scene dressed in a colorful poncho, startling them all. They tell him that he can join their group while he looks for his parents.
Juan is not the most unusual person to enter the church though - that would be Abe. He has done Luke's homework for him - and offers to write lyrics for Matthew's song.
"Do you think that he's a good writer?"
"Well, he did write this scene"
There's a great flash of light, and a booming voice comes down from the heavens and declares that the five of them should form a pop singing group to spread the word of God. Abe is puzzled by this, since he's not catholic, but the Voice insists. Because the light is so bright, all of them put on sun glasses.

Thanks to the gracious sponsorship by the good folks at Sony, the Altar Boyz are in possession of some high tech equipment - the Soul Sensor DX12. This some how keeps track of all of the souls that are weighed down by guilt... or something. It starts out at a rather high number, and the goal of the Altar Boyz is to get the count down to 0 by the end of their concert. So, as the show went on, they'd harmonize and sing "Soul Sensor" and then look at the counter, and it would either drop, or go up, depending on the time of the show.

I don't really like the song Number 918. For one thing, I never really understood the title. But after seeing it, now I understand. Juan says that they should perform that song as a last resort. It doesn't have a title, it's just "number 918" and the music is on page six, six, six. Juan tells Luke (In Spanish) to go get the tools for this song. He responds "Oui" and hurries off stage, returning with a box. When they opened it, lots of smoke poured out of it, and Matthew took out the tools: A cross, a rosary, a Bible, a bowl of holy water, and a Star of David. These were the tools they were going to use to banish the devil lurking inside the final ten people. There were lots of strobe lights and fog during this song.
I still don't care for the song that much, but watching it performed was better.

I became a total fan girl of the Altar Boyz. I was glad that they had a happy ending to their concert. Afterwards, since it was not raining and reasonably nice out, I decided to go lurk at the Stage Door.

I waited for a bit, just me and my mom. My patience was rewarded when Mark walked out... talking on his cell phone. I kinda waved, but focused more in on Luke who was behind him, and not on the phone. Matthew was behind him. I asked them for the usual, a sign my program and pose for a picture. They were definitely willing, and asked how I liked the show (It was awesome). By that point, Mark was done on the phone so he came over, and then one of them, I dunno who, said that we needed the other two.
Right on cue, Abe and Juan emerged from the building and were informed what was going on. They both signed my program, and then all five of them clustered around me for a picture. I felt special.
My mom took a few shots - my camera is not back lit so it's hard to see to take a picture, and this is the one that turned out the best.

Mark (Dan Scott), Luke (Anton Fero), Me, Abraham (Tim Dolan), Juan (Adam Cassel), Matthew (Philip Drennen)

Since that was everybody, there was no need to stick around any more. This is the first time I've Stage Doored that I was fully confident the whole cast had left, because they all left together.