The Quinessential Oboist

(The nearly universal traits of oboists)

Some things we all share, no matter how prominent our differences...

*A distinct sense of being misunderstood--sometimes as individuals (we can be weird), nearly always as instrumentalists. Why are we dropping feathers down our instrument? Why are our reeds so expensive? We can't we get in tune? And why do we refuse to pull out or push in?

*A distinct attitude of superiority. We play "the toughest instrument in band", and so deserve our attitude. Plus, dealing with the inanities posed to us by dumb non-oboists verifies that they are indeed inferior beings to be pitied and tolerated, and we are the superior breed.

*Noblesse oblige. Being gracious to those poor beings inferior to us...out of pity, mercy, and condescension. It's our duty as the higher form of life. (Example: agreeing with the conductor even when s/he is WRONG WRONG DEAD FREAKIN' WRONG!)

*Entitlement to artistic/cultural snobbery. We had the best taste when choosing an instrument...so we know better than everyone else. (This is our birthright!)

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