Glossary of Terms

under construction, but so far, so good.

A
Arrest: What would happen to you if you tried to bring a reed knife through airport security in your carry-on luggage.

B

Band: The ensemble in which oboe is underappreciated, and plays the role of a Clarinet in C with a $10 reed.

Basson: Double reed instrument resembling a tree-trunk. What some people think an oboe is.

Bitch: derogatory term for one's instrument.

C

Clarinet: the single reed cylindrical bore woodwind instrument for which oboe is frequently mistaken at sight.

Conical: The shape of an oboe's bore. It tapers. Like a cone.

D
Double reed:The reason why an oboe reed costs $10 and a clarinet reed costs 75 cents.

Dress rehearsal: The run-through before the concert. Also, the time your oboe decides to stop working.

E

Early Music: music of the medieval era. The only reason all the shawms in the world have not been made into the world's biggest bonfire.
Evil: see also saxophone

F
Flute: An instrument made of metal, without a reed, held transversely, that calls itself a woodwind. Usually played by a girl who should have been a cheerleader.

G

H
Hell: where soprano saxes are from and to where they should return.

I

J

K

L
Lost: when you don't know where you are in the piece. It happens to the best of us.

M
Masochist: One who craves pain. see also oboist

N

O
Oboe: a double reed woodwind with a conical bore and esoteric appeal.
Oboist: one who plays the oboe, and in extreme cases, defines themselves by the oboe.

Orchestra: the oboe's place to shine.

P
Poverty: A state of existence which an oboist must be willing to embrace, or atleast cope with.

Q

R
Reed: The sound-producing device of an oboe, and cause of the vast majority of oboe problems.
Re-pad: replacing the pads of the keys of the oboe. Costs $500.
Resonite: plastic used to make some clarinets and oboes. absolute shit.

S
Saxophone: an instrument invented in the mid-19th century as "the instrument of the future". Comes in assorted sizes, being, from large to small: Bass, Baritone, Tenor, Alto, and soprano. The soprano saxophone was invented to replace the oboe. Therefore, it is the most evil of the saxophone family.
Shawm: the obnoxious great-grand-daddy of the oboe. What dorm fire alarms are frequently modeled after.

T

U

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X

Y

Z

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