Friends and Foes in Band: an Oboist's Guide

       Non-oboists. You'll have to deal with them sometime. Here's to clue you in as to who these people are, and are they FRIEND or FOE.
 

OTHER WOODWINDS:

Your native section is a mixed bag.
 

BASSOONS:

    The only other double reed instrument in band (unless you have a cor anglais), and frequently only one of them. They are your double reed brethren, so be nice to them. They make good friends, and are content to be not in the limelight. 

CLARINETS:

    Generally cool--unless they assume they can play your instrument. They're nice when they're not uppity. Bass clarinetists are like bassoonists (see above) but on a low budget, definitely your friends. Surplus clarinetists are often converted to saxophone.

FLUTES:

    Generally harmless, though sometimes annoying--especially when the butt end of the flute is pointed directly at your ear. Many of these poor souls missed their calling to be cheerleaders. A lucky few actually are cheerleaders. The flute section is also a good source of saxophone converts. The flute being the only reedless woodwind, reed envy and a desire to fit in is not unusual.

PICCOLOS:

SAXOPHONES:

    Soprano saxes are the devil. They were intended to replace you, though they are far inferior to you. Enough said. 
    You will notice that alto saxes get lots of solos in band, as many bands lack oboes. You will also notice that these solos would really belong to you if this were orchestra. You will not like the sound of an alto sax after you realize how raunchy they sound playing what should rightfully be YOUR solos.
    Tenor saxes tend to be alto saxes who grew up, or converts from flute or clarinet. Tenor saxes are sometimes also bassoonists (though sax screws up double reed embouchure). Former-flute tenor saxes tend to be cooler than flutes in their pure form. Converts from clarinet to tenor sax are also cool. Alto to Tenor sax isn't as pleasant. But at least they aren't competing for your role.
    Baritone saxes rule. They do not compete at all with you for attention; they get their own kind. Even if they have always been sax players, they are awesome. And the baritone sax looks like a urinal. A brass urinal.  

BRASS:

FRENCH HORNS:

    Relations with this other unsung hero of the band range anywhere from warm to cold to indifferent. You have different sensibilities, having had different experiences and played different roles.

EUPHONIUMS (a.k.a Baritone Horns):

    Sometimes a switcher from trumpet, sometimes a kid from any section with too many players. (Like the rotating euphonium chair in high school--each bass drummer from marching band takes up the horn for a semester in turn.) But for the grace of the band director, they could have been oboists.
    (Always cool.)

TROMBONES:

    Anywhere from raunchy and ribald to the stoic who says only 3 words all semester. The raunchy and ribald ones are your friend.

TRUMPETS:

Trumpets are your friend. Full of confidence (or maybe arrogance) and generally positive people, trumpets make jovial company.

TUBA:

It's probably impossible to hate them. They are generally agreeable and make jovial companions. Tubas are everybody's friend.

PERCUSSION:

"PIT" (MALLET/KEYBOARD) PERCUSSION:

*"Pit" refers to the marching band situation of being in the front of the field with the instruments in one place, which resembles an orchestra pit.
    These displaced pianists are great people to know. They probably know the most about music of any of the sections in band. They practice hard, but know when they can shift into "slacker" mode. They also give good massages, sometimes with yarn mallets.
    (I learned oboe from a fellow pit member.)

DRUMMERS:

    You have to love these guys. (guys gender non-specific) Their minds tend to favor the gutter, but almost all of them have hearts of gold, even if you have to dig a little for it. Wonderful guys.