His best friend was gone. No goodbyes. Here one second then literally gone in another.
One second and Lance’s life – and the lives of those around him - were forever changed.
He had been so excited when he initially announced to the rest of the group that he had been approach for the television project. It was a simple idea - a ten-day mission to the International Space Station to be taped hour-for-hour and edited into a weekly series. He passed the necessary tests, endured the required months of training in Russia and when the final sponsor signed on in July, he was ready to make history as the youngest person ever to travel in space.
How could it go so wrong?
Joey Fatone swallowed around the lump that burned in his throat. He heard his baby girl Brianna start to fuss from her position on his lap and he began bouncing his knee to keep her entertained. Reaching to her hair, he ran his hand over the softness. It was a comforting gesture for them both.
Brianna was the only reason he had kept his sanity over the previous 24 hours since the phone call that tore his life apart. She was really the only one who could elicit a reaction from him although his parents and girlfriend certainly tried.
He had been playing with Brianna on the floor when his live-in girlfriend Kelly answered the phone. She was pale and shaking when she handed the cordless to him. He remembered asking her what was wrong, but her only answer was with a shake of the head.
“Hello?”
A voice that sounded remotely like Justin’s answered. “J-J-Joey? Turn on the t.v. Channel 25.”
“What is it?” Joey asked reaching for the remote on the coffee table.
“Just do it,” his friend replied softly.
Joey watched silently as a picture of Lance in his uniform flashed onto the screen above the news anchor’s shoulder. He smiled proudly at the look on the young blonde’s face. There was excitement, nervousness and a little bit of fear in those pale green eyes. The commentary shook him back into reality. “…Bass was among the three cosmonauts on board the TM-34 rocket when it exploded a mere three minutes into its mission to the International Space Station…”
“No…no…it’s a mistake.” Joey shook his head and he sank into the loveseat not caring that he was sitting on Brianna’s favorite teddy bear. “Justin, it’s a mistake, right? It has to be a mistake!”
“I wish it was. God, how I wish it was…” There was a shuddering sigh from the other end of the phone as Justin tried to stop from crying again. “He’s gone, Joe. Lance is gone.”
“Oh God. Oh God.” Joey couldn’t stop from repeating the two simple words. Kelly surrounded him in her embrace as he dropped the phone to the carpet. Lance. Oh God why Lance?
He was only vaguely aware of Kelly’s comforting whispers and touch. He was numb, but he was cold. So cold. Was the air conditioning on that high? Can’t let Brianna catch cold. They were supposed to take her to his parents because he had promised Kelly to take her out that night. Maybe he should call Lance instead. Lance hadn’t seen his goddaughter in months. He wanted to take her to Sea World when he got back from Russia.
No. Lance would not come back from Russia. Lance was gone. Lance wouldn’t see his goddaughter ever again. He would never know her first steps. He would miss her first day of school. He would miss taking photos at her high school and college graduations. He wouldn’t see how beautiful she looked on her wedding day.
And Brianna would never know how great a man her “Uncle Lance” was. Selfish bastard. Lance was supposed to be there for her. Hell, he was supposed to be there for Joey too.
“It’ll be okay, Joe.” He heard Kelly say. “Everything will be okay.”
Over 24 hours had passed since he had broken down in Kelly’s arms and everything was far from okay. Joey had barely slept the night before only dozing before and this night was shaping up the same, as horrific images of the rocket’s explosion and Lance’s screams startled him awake. He had given up trying around 2 a.m. and left Kelly alone in bed.
After slipping on some Nike slides and pulling on a t-shirt, he wandered out passed the pool to the landscaped, grassy backyard and laid down on one of the chaise lounges. He closed his dark brown eyes and took a deep breath of courage before opening them once more.
The lights of Orlando couldn’t dim the brightness of the stars scattered across the navy blue sky. Taking in the beauty of the vision, he immediately thought of the Incubus song lyrics about a “backlit canopy with holes punched in it”. Of course, there was irony in the title of that very same song.
Wish you were here.
Joey had encouraged Lance to follow his dream, only to lose his best friend. It would have been easy to accept the guilt and the blame gnawing at his soul. The truth was if given the choice again, that he would still be as supportive of Lance’s decision even if he did know the consequences.
Worse though, Joey realized, Lance never achieved his dream. He never reached those stars he had worked so hard to touch.
The thought made his heart break even further.
