Brian couldn't remember a time he had ever felt so alone. Dr. Robeson's voice seemed miles away as he explanation the situation – why it happened and what the future might bring.
The doctor had explained that sensorineural hearing loss was caused by damage to the tiny hair cells in his in ear. That once the cells are damaged they can't be repaired. Robeson figured it was the result of some of the medication he had taken while he was sick, though he couldn't be certain. Of course, the fact that he was subjected to high decibels almost daily, thanks to his profession, didn't help matters.
Dr. Robeson told Brian that the loss of hearing he'd suffered was enough to be a nuisance, but not enough to warrant being fitted for a hearing aid yet. After going through all the information, the physician then recommended a colleague that Brian should see in Orlando to track his progress.
Brian left clinic and wandered for an hour before finding the sanctuary he sought in a Catholic church. He had been raised Baptist but at that moment, his soul needed to be closer to God. He needed some strength. He needed answers.
He approached the altar with reverence. As he neared the gilded cross at the front, the sun outside emerged from the clouds and filtered into the sanctuary. Refracting off the rainbow of stained glass at the back, the light cast an unearthly glow. Brian looked upon the scene with reverence before he kneeled and bowed his head.
It seemed like only minutes later that he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Son?" Brian raised his head to meet a pair of sympathetic brown eyes. "Are you okay? You've been here for a half hour."
Brian blinked and his vision focused more readily on the man before him. He was wearing street clothes but still had the unmistakable black and white collar of the clergy. "Yeah, fine, thanks."
"Really? I was almost certain that you were going to sprout wings before too much longer."
"I'm sorry." Brian rose and retreated to sit in one of the front pews.
"Nothing to be sorry about," the man said taking a seat next to the young stranger. "Anything you want to talk about?"
Brian started to open his mouth then abruptly closed it. "I'm just trying to figure out some things."
The two men sat in silence for a few moments until they heard some feet shuffling across the tile floor. "If nothing else, you came at the right time. The children's choir is just about set to begin rehearsal."
They watch the dozen or so kids arrange themselves in an orderly fashion on the steps leading to the altar. A matronly-woman sat at the piano to the left. She raised her hand in a silent gesture to quiet the group and draw their attention before she began to play a familiar tune. A young boy – not older than 10 – stepped forward then found his cue and started to sing:
You who dwell in the shelter of the Lord
Who abide in his shelter for life
Say to the Lord: "My refuge
My rock in whom I trust!"
The other children joined him in the chorus and the sound echoed throughout the cavernous hall.
And he will raise you up on eagle's wings
Bear you on the breath of dawn
Make you to shine like the sun
And hold you in the palm of his hand
Brian was mesmerized by the sound of their untrained yet beautiful voices as a pre-teen girl took over the second verse. But his focus was drawn once again toward the boy who finished with a solo in the third and final verse:
For to his angels his given a command
To guard you in all your ways
Upon their hands they will bear you up
Lest you dash your foot against a stone
A tear slipped from Brian's eyes. He could hear all the joy and unadulterated passion with which the child sang every note. The voice was clear and angelic and so full of promise. It was as if he were watching himself as a boy.
Now, his own future was so unclear. He didn't know life without music. Brian glanced at the priest who remained seated to his right.
His voice never rose above a whisper as he confessed, "I was just told that I'm going deaf."
Half an hour later, Brian finished telling Father Michael the details surrounding his health and a cliff notes version of his life story.
"Brian, know this. God wouldn't give you more than He thought you could handle. He knows that you are strong, that you will make it through this. Just remember to have faith in yourself and have faith in Him."
