Without even knowing what she was doing she just started talking about stupid things, silly jokes and all the things she would never say, in a normal situation. But this just wasn't a normal situation. He was so different so ...well just different. His eyes were penetrating her flesh looking for her soul, trying to reach her secrets, she tried so desperately to hide. Before she even realised her moves she touched his sleeve, and slid down his arm to touch his hand. It was an urge, uncontroled and unforseen.She kissed him, he kissed back. This wasn't supposed to happen. But it felt so good...
After school Fatith was walking home, slowly and quietly. She wasn't paying attention to her surroundings. Thoughts filled her head. That little hateful voice was mocking her again..."why the hell did you say that? stupid cow, you just know they're all talking about you behind your back, ha, weird faith, fat faith, by the way : you ate too much!!!" That stupid voice bringing her down again. If only she could make it shut up, but when she tried to force it out, whenever she tried to block it, it would become ten times louder. pulling her into this pit of selfpity and despair. and she hated herself even more when she let that happen.
She came home and things were as they always were : her dad in front of the tv, her mother out and a great mess in the house. She said hello, but when there was no response , she went up to her room, her sanctuary. After a while her father called her to dinner. She promissed she wouldn't eat too much, but she did, of course. After dinner she tried to study again. But her mind was elsewhere. thinking about what life would be like if she were more beautiful, thinner, would she be happier? Maybe if she had a nice boyfriend? At least it would be better than that gerk she was dating now, she didn't even know what she'd ever seen in him, ok , he was cute, but they never talked, he just wanted to kiss and feel her up, asshole, she was going to break up with him tomorrow. How many boyfriends were there this month, six? Man, what a tramp...but it wasn't her fault, she thought. Or that's what she tried to think, but that little voice interrupted again. "Nono , you were right the first time, a tramp, sluttyness in all its glory. Why don't you go wait by a street corner, at least you'd make some money!!! " The voice kept going on and on, the room started spinning, she felt dizzy, round and round faster and faster,on and on , again."NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" she fell to hear knees, nauscious. She threw up on the floor. Her father opened the door,drunk as usual :"Look at the mess you made!! clean it up!" he shouted in a slurred and uncontroled voice, then stumbled away, leaving her there, crying and sitting in her own mess...
She came to, her mother was cleaning her face with cold water. "What happened?" There was concern in her voice, Faith loved to hear that. She sat up in the bed. "I'm ok, it was just..."she looked in her mother face and realised she coudln't tell the truth, she didn't even know what happened, not for sure anyway..."nothing, it was nothing, I got a bit nauscious , that's all" She tried to smile. "Your staying in bed, no school tomorrow, I have to go to work, but your father will take care of you." Faith's smile faded, take care of her? Right, he never did that, just stared at the tv screen that's all..."Ok dear?" Faith just nodded her head. Her mother left her room again, faith heard her walking down the corridor, opening the door and closing the door again.
Faith woke up the next morning, or better afternoon, she couldn't even remember falling asleep. She got up, and took a shower. The warm water let her remember what happened the day before. She walked towards the kitchen , she could even dream what she'd see, her father in front of the tv, it even made her smile that when she opened her eyes the image in her mind matched that which she saw. She put on her shoes." Dad I'm going for a walk, ok?" No response...
As she was walking in the cold wind, her mind wandered again, and there it was, that stupid little voice."Do you even know where you're going? You don't, do you? Are you running away? Come on, think! What are you going to do, where will you go? Strange how little you know , you should have thought about this a lot sooner. Too busy stuffing your face with food, fat cow, stupid girl." Faith started crying. Was she going crazy, the voice inside her own head was making her cry, this wasn't normal right? "well you're not really normal are you?" Faith started running, faster and faster, further and further. She didn't know where she was going and she didn't care.
It was getting dark , shades of pink and purple colored the sky, and the sun hid behind the clouds, coloring them, with flaming dreams.
After a while she ran out of breath, she'd ended up in a park, it was totally deserted and totally dark, except for the little slice of the moon. She walked through it, trying to find a place to sit. There was someone else there, she could feel it. A shadow a bit further. Goose bumps covered her body and she got up, she hoped he hadn't seen her." Would you like to be left alone? You look like you could use some company." He had a warm voice. He came closer. "Come take a walk with me, we can talk" She didn't know why;, she just excepted the invitation. They walked onto a street and she turned round to see him. He was skinny, had black hair, and very white skin. His voice was warm, but his eyes were a cold, greenish blue, like the sea after a storm. Without even knowing what she was doing she just started talking about stupid things, silly jokes and all the things she would never say, in a normal situation. But this just wasn't a normal situation. He was so different so ...well just different. His eyes were penetrating her flesh looking for her soul, trying to reach her secrets, she tried so desperately to hide. Before she even realised her moves she touched his sleeve, and slid down his arm to touch his hand, it was cold, but warmed up with her touch.. It was an urge, uncontroled and unforseen.She kissed him, he kissed back. This wasn't supposed to happen. But it felt so good...She felt the kiss taking her over, her whole body went up into the movement, his lips against hers, his hands touching her body, moving , tingling. She knew it, suddenly it occured to her, it was so obvious, this kiss, this beautiful moment would be her last, but she didn't care, this was the perfect moment, nothing could ever top this, ever.
As he reached for the knife, he opened his eyes, simultaniously she opened hers, she looked at him, it was as if she gave consent.
The pain wasn't that bad ,he still kissed her, she smiled, and slipped away. It was the perfect kiss...the kiss of death
