"Mamie The Talking Cow"
© DANOLYRICS 2001
I was hiking along,
A Pennsylvania road,
Thought I`d stop,
To lighten my load,
So I sat down by a field,
To have a bite of chow.
Well halfway through,
My pause to eat,
I heard the pounding,
Of bovine feet,
And turned around,
To see a charging cow.
I was sweating bullets,
And yelling "Halt",
But braced myself,
For the coming assault,
When all of a sudden,
The cow stopped on a dime.
"Hello Friend" she said,
With a grin,
Let me tell you bout,
The mess I`m in,
That is of course,
Only if you have the time".
My first thought was,
My food went bad,
Or something was in,
The drink I had,
Cause I could swear,
This cow just conversated.
She said "I`m Mamie,
The talking cow,
And no your not in,
The Twilight Zone now,
Besides that sci-fi stuff,
Is overrated.
Mister you have to,
Help me please,
All the other animals,
Pick and tease,
And in cow tongue I`m called,
The Barnyard Freak.
If you can get me,
Out of here,
I`ll make you a,
Millionaire in a year,
And freedom`s the only,
Fortune that I seek."
I thought for a while,
And said, "Why not,
Besides, what other,
Choice have I got?
My life`s not exactly,
A dream come true."
So we went for a year,
With a traveling show,
And Mamie was right,
I was raking the dough,
So after my 5th million,
We were through.
I took her out in,
The widest open,
Precisely where,
She had been hopin,
To live out her,
Final happy years.
She nuzzled my hand,
I kissed her head,
Then she wheeled,
And off she sped,
I just stood and,
Wiped away the tears.
Now every time,
I go back and see,
That Pennsylvania,
Dutch Country,
I think back to that day,
And start to cry.
Then I laugh and think,
It`s funny how,
My life is better,
Since I met a cow,
And I got 5 million ways,
To tell you why.
The moral of the story,
One surmises,
Is that cash cows come,
In all shapes and sizes,
And mine came in the form,
Of Mamie the talking cow.
