Desperate-Rado
(It's hard to believe the American people
would ever let our cowboy heritage die)
Back in the motherfuckin saddle
My 6-shooter strapped and I'm lookin for a battle
Out on the plains I'm a loner
The saddle horn rubs right and yo it's givin me a boner
I got thoughts of Annie Oakley
But that buck toothed tramp in that last town she broke me
And we didn't even fuck
I gave my last gold tooth an gold nugget to get my dick sucked
Three days out on the frontier
And I'd kill for a cheap whore and a barrel of cold beer
I need a slut for a service
I take a peak at the sheep and they all run away nervous
Man I gotta get my rocks off
Cause my Wranglers don't fit right unless my cock's soft
Long nights by the fire me and Trigger, go figure
I'm a Desperate-Rado
Didn't take any practice
A Desperate-Rado
Got a cock like a cactus
A Desperate-Rado
Drink whisky by the bucket
A Desperate-Rado
If it's alive I'll fuck it
Now I drift through the desert like a wild coyote
Horny as a toad trippin off peyote
Holdin up trains and gettin goods by the sack
I'm known through out the west as the pie-eyed mack
And to the law I'm no stranger
I'm wanted dead or alive cause I shot the Lone Ranger
And then Tonto tried to get down
So I boned his bitch slit his throat and then I skipped town
That's the way I run my show
Paint towns red, fuck hoes, and then I lay low
I know you think I'm archaic
But my dick's like a sword
I see pussy and wanna slay it
Out on the plains it gets linely
Sometimes I feel homely
New faces, new towns no one knows me
Guns cocked in my holster
You see my face in each town nailed to a pole on a poster
I'm always lookin for the quick buck
Then always blowin my cash on a bitch with a big butt
Some say my head's hollow
Fuck em I'm just a
Desperate-Rado
Trottin thru the bad lands
A Desperate-Rado
Tokin down with all the cowhands
A Desperate-Rado
Didn't take much practice
A Desperate-Rado
Got a cock like a cactus
Now I fuck whores by the scores up ten fold on any fellow
In any town I can be found at the local bordello
Never yellow never chicken listen for my spurs draggin
And when I'm kickin dust you better circle up the wagons
So when I rip through your town don't be gawkin
Just tip your hat and Tex keep walkin
Cause I'm a gun slingin top hand
Fuck with me and you'll go out like Custer in his last stand
I'm a low down buckaroo
If you leave me alone with your mother then I'll fuck her too
Cause I'm a sidewinding nomad
Ad morals in upbringing is something that I never had
Known as the ruff ridin Texan
A bad buck from the day of my conception
And I was raised in the poor house
My mother kicked me out so she could start a whore house
Now since the day I left the corral
I've been on a quest for the plant that's called mescal
Cause pale rider once pulled me aside
And told me that high was the best way to ride
Now I'm a Desperate-Rado
Always lookin for a fight
A Desperate-Rado
Puffin on a peace pipe
I'm a Desperate-Rado
On the run from the law
A Desperate-Rado baddest one you ever saw