Love and Hate

“Sorry Aurora, Nick is coming home this weekend.” BJ announced to her long time best friend.

“Isn’t this why you guys moved to Cali, to get away from him?” Aurora asked annoyed. She never liked Nick. In fact she never like any of the Backstreet Boys.

“Well see my mom likes him for some reason.” BJ joked. She didn’t mind her brother. He had actually been how she met Aurora. She was really angry at him at started to talk to this girl at her Elementary playground. But this girl was two years older than her and had tried to beat up her brother before. She couldn’t remember the reason why, so she began to hang out with the only older girl who wasn’t a geek but still loved her company.

“You want to go to my house for the weekend or something then…” Aurora suggested not really wanting to spend her week off without her friend.

“Yeah but we can’t spend the whole week apart. Mom would kill me.” BJ explained.

“Won’t Jane let you if she knows I will be here.” Aurora reasoned. Last time Nick and his fellow band mates were here a little fight broke out. Aurora kneed AJ in the nuts, for hitting on her. Then she slapped Nick for sticking up for his friend.

“Sorry last time I talked to her she said that she wanted to give it another shot if nessacary.” BJ shared.

“All right. Still let us at least get a weekend away from him. Are of his Backstreet Fag friends coming too?” Aurora asked.

“I’m not sure. Mom wouldn’t say and they are pretty unpredictable at times. I still wish you wouldn’t refer to my brother as a ‘fag’.” BJ commented.

“Sorry Beej, I’ll work on that. But have you heard some of their songs.” Aurora reasoned then began a rendition of ‘I’ll Never Break Your Heart’ off key. As unexpectedly the front door swung open. There stood Nick Carter, looking a little different from when we last saw him. He looked like a man now.

“Aurora, finally started to become a fan.” Nick joked. BJ shot him a ‘don’t piss her off’ look.

“Nick, finally going through puberty.” Aurora said in sing-song tone already in sarcastic mode. He rolled his eyes and BJ ran up and hugged her brother.

“Nick, so you did make it for my graduation. Mom said you would be a day late.” BJ commented. Aurora sat on the couch and began to write in her notebook that she never left at home a piece of poetry that popped into her head.

“Yeah well I figured if Aurora could take time out of her busy life I could too.” He replied. Making Aurora look up and glare. She had thing against men in general but if a man proclaimed not to break hearts or do anything for a woman she declared them wimpy, lying, excuses for men that didn’t deserve any woman’s time.

“NICK!” Exclaimed Jane as she ran into the room. THE whole Carter clan soon all followed to say hi to the missing member of their family.

“Aurora dear, are you still staying for dinner?” Jane asked soon after she had talked to her son. BJ gave her a pleading look.

“Yeah she better.” Leslie urged. Leslie and her were like sisters since she had known her for over half her life and trusted her just as much as BJ.

"Sure.” She said unenthusiastically. Soon everyone returned to their respected places in the house except Nick who put some of his stuff in his room and then rejoined those left in the living room, which at the moment was only Aurora. BJ went to the restroom. He sat down beside her and she grimaced.

"What’s the matter Aurora, not happy to see me?” He asked. She faked a smiled and scooted further into couch’s arm. He followed until their thighs were touching. She glared at him again.

“Why do you hate me so much?” he asked never sure of the reason. She looked like she was ready to laugh.

“You are a lying, arrogant, self-centered, BOY who doesn’t know what real values are.” She replied calmly.

"And when did you figure all this out, when were in the fifth grade?” He asked.

"No, if you will remember correctly I only kicked your ass because you tried touching mine.” She explained.

“Whatever happened to forgiving and forgetting?” He asked.

“Why do you persist in asking me these questions, I do not like you. I never have. End of story. Leave me alone.” She replied.

“I am just curious I figured after 10 or so years you could forgive me for that…” he announced.

“Well don’t worry dear, that was the incident that affected fifth grade I have one for each year I have known you since.” She retaliated.

“Not true. I have been on tour for more than a year in more than one case, what did I possibly do to you then.”

“Nick, it isn’t always what you do to me…I see what you do to other people. It’s not right.” She replied.

“What do I do?” He asked innocently.

“You ever notice how many people are in pain now because you enriched their naïve belief that people exist that would really go anywhere for them or never break their hearts or even love them just because…and you have no proof that it is true you just continue to spread lies causing pain. I don’t hate you for what you did as a child or an adolescent. I hate you for what you do now.” She passionately explained before walking up to BJ’s bedroom. He was taken aback. He had no way to respond to what she said. He just sat there thinking, not noticing it when BJ also went upstairs in search of her friend. Was it all really a lie? He kept asking himself. He didn’t have the best experience in love, hell he was single as single could be, but he still believed. He wondered what made her so against it. It had to be an event of some sort. She was a beautiful girl, maybe she was taken advantage of. She certainly is always on her guard around him or his friends. The last time they were here, AJ wanted to beat the challenge, but didn’t instead he got aching balls. As he began to ponder everything he noticed she left her trusty notebook near him. Should I? He asked himself. He decided not but only because he did not want to be held accountable for her further distrust of the male species. Then he saw a crumpled up piece of paper by the couch, that he did pick up. Once unfolded he knew it too was from the notebook but something about it made her rip it out. By then he couldn’t stop so he began to read….

I saw him, out of the corner of my eye. Such a familiar face, but no, it has changed. It had been changing a lot lately. It had grown in dimension and magnitude as the rest of him. He was a man now and I a woman. His muscles moved as he walked, they were not abnormally big, but not too small either. Just enough to make you want them wrapped around your body forever. His blue eyes sparkled as he spoke three simple words,” I love you.” The words meant so much. I began to tear up. But then just as the dream had begun it too had ended…he was not talking to me. He was talking to a beautiful girl that I once also knew. I didn’t know whether to feel sorry for myself or feel sorry for her. Yes I was sad now, but she surely would get the pain later. He was not a trustworthy type, looks were deceiving. Yet so was I. I looked at them as they embraced, tears swelling up and over unto my face. Then his light crimson lips looked back and whispered, “Don’t worry baby, It’ll be you next time.”

He had no idea how he should respond but he knew then that BJ was right, she was a great writer. He didn’t know her little notebook also contained stories though. He began to ponder possibly developing a friendship with this intriguing, beautiful, sad woman. After all this time he even felt sort of a sympathy growing. And as he looked at a picture that was embedded by a magazine collage of her and his sister, he knew that if she wasn’t so outrageously gorgeous he probably wouldn’t be doing that. He absent mindly turned over the piece of paper, still in his hands to find a poem…
Who Am I?
But then again who are you?
Why are you here,
To make me blue…

Is there a reason
You continue to lie,
To make people believe you,
And then ignore them when they cry…

Why are you so innocent looking,
Why do you deceive?
Maybe without a pretty face
no hearts would you leave…

You walk around with no idea,
NO CARE is there either,
But I know that you feel,
As every human does…

Maybe if you weren’t here,
I wouldn’t yearn for your touch,
Your comforting lies and warm embrace,
Everything and such…

(EN: YES I WROTE THIS…)

When Nick finished he was confused he had originally thought the poem to be about him, but the ending threw him off. Does that mean that she likes me? He thought to himself. Suddenly the thought of her “liking” him provoked a smile. Would he ever consider her like that? The answer that came was a hurried of coarse. He always held her in his heart, for some strange reason. He hoped maybe now, he could teach her what it really means to love.


“BJ, I feel so drained…why did your brother have to come home.” Whined Aurora.

“Ro, I love my brother to death; and I know you hate him but what is it about him?” BJ asked confused.

“Remember when I told why he was a lying asshole, that is why…” Aurora stated.

“Maybe there is true love, or people like that…” BJ said dreamingly.

“Maybe if he wasn’t so damn hot people wouldn’t believe him.” Aurora thought aloud.

“YoU think my brother is hot?” Asked a surprised BJ. The realization came over Aurora, she had said that aloud. She finally put her head down in defeat and mumbled an affirmative answer.

“Wow, that would be so cool if you didn’t think he was lying asshole and you got together and got married and then you could be my sister!” Exclaimed BJ. Aurora gave her a pained expression.

“I’m sorry it must be hard for you, right?” BJ asked.

“Very…” Aurora agreed.

“Why don’t you be mature and tell him?” BJ asked.

“Because I could never let myself fall into the arms of a liar. He would only break my heart.” Aurora explained.

“Whatever Ro…” BJ said not believing her friend, “I’ll be back.” She suddenly announced. Aurora nodded and let her leave. While she was gone, Aurora caught up on her sleep.

“Nick! OH my god, have I news for you!” BJ exclaimed propping on the couch beside him.

“What?” he asked.

“Ro thinks you are hot.” She repeated. She felt bad for betraying her friend but she desperately wanted

her and Nick together. “Look what I found.” Nick shared handing her the page he found. BJ quickly read it.

“Nick you have to try and get her.” BJ urged.

“Why?” he asked.

“She is just so afraid and hurt, you can change that.” BJ explained.

“Beej love isn’t like that. Yeah maybe I will try and get her but it might not work out. Love grows between two people, it isn’t instantaneously there.” Nick taught.

“Well I still think it would be so cool.” BJ thought aloud dreamily.

“I am going to help mom with dinner.” Nick announced and left his sister to help his mom and get his mind off things…

That evening…

(Aurora’s POV)I lay awake still, crying…BJ had given me the guest room. I don’t know how she talked me into staying here tonight but it did happen. She didn’t mind that I was wanting my space, but I felt so sad, so alone. It had been happening ever since I started college. My parents got calls from me weekly and well BJ got called nightly but the whole two years I was at school, so far. This was my first visit. Everything was just so hard, still is. I can’t really explain it to someone like BJ who is just now going out into that horrible world. I cried harder not wishing to go back. I didn’t have much friends, I was too busy studying, working on extra curricular activities and trying to make money. Not to mention keeping touch with all my old best friends. But I didn’t talk to anyone as much as I talked to BJ. She was modeling a lot lately and even loaned me enough to keep up tuition this year. I was so grateful, but not just for that. She had done everything for me. And here I was crying in her house because of some unexplainable emptiness that she couldn’t help me with. I hated myself for being rude to her about her lying brother, her lying brother that I just couldn’t help but wish would hold me or kiss me or even sleep with him.

(Nick’s POV) I could hear her crying. It tore me apart as everything was at the moment. Yeah, it had been awhile since I last dated but I knew how that one ended and wasn’t sure if I was ready to put it all on the line yet…There was something about her, something incredibly alluring. Before I went to bed, I got sidetracked and watched talk to BJ about some college class and as she was brushing her hair, I couldn’t help but get a whiff of her sensational smell. Now hearing her cry, a girl who has hated me since I could remember, and knowing that she thought of me as a worthy but still lying man, made me think. Her sobs became hushed and right as I was about to fall asleep they restarted. I knew her pain, or at least I knew of pain. I knew of loneliness and unworthiness, I knew of every possible emotion she could feel. And I felt so sorry that she is going through that too. I couldn’t take it anymore. I got up, not bothering to brush my hair or care that I was only in boxers. I went to her door and I knocked.

Aurora answered the door, a little worried it was Jane for some reason. Who she saw though was Nick. He looked very sexy, the disheveled look was definitely his but why was he at her door? She wiped a couple tears off with the sleeve of her shirt and looked at him questioningly. Nick was amazed at what he saw. Even looking sad she had the beautiful melancholy look down. Her white camisole and matching panties made her look stunning and for a second he even though of what was under both of those. But meeting again with her blue eyes, seeing the sadness once again. He just stepped nearer to her, confusing her more and shut the door behind him. Their bodies were practically touching and both were enticed by the scent of another. Then a tear fell again. She closed her eyes to stop the flow of the rest and his hand slowly wiped it away. She opened her watery eyes in surprise as he was still in awe of her amazingly soft skin.

“Nick…” She spoke her voice sounding like an angel’s to his ears but this was no time for words and he quickly shut her up by putting his finger to his lips. An intimate touch to them both. But then even this seemed intimate. S

he began to back away until she ran into the bed then sat, not knowing what to do. He followed. Both were unsure if this was a good thing or not. Except he did not sit beside her. He stood in front of her. Then before another thought reached her brain, he picked her up and laid her down. Both relishing the moment while it lasted. Then he laid down beside her and held her in his arms. Both were lost in their own thoughts. But comforted by the act of just being there. Soon after they both feel asleep.

He awoke first feeling more satisfied with everything than he had in a long time. He looked at the miraculous woman laying in his arms and smiled. Her head began to move against his bear chest and her hair tickled him. He didn’t laugh he just smiled as she awoke. Everything was different now. She smiled seeing him still there. He leant down and lightly kissed her. Amazed at the sensation they continued it.

~*25 years later*~

“Aurora!” Yelled a familiar voice. Then came running her long time friend BJ.

“Where’s Nick?” She asked. Aurora smiled.

“He is off breaking my heart.” Joked Aurora. BJ laughed, hit her friend and went to the house in search of her brother.

“Awww Ro, he is with Kalena and Mike.” BJ said, seeing him as a father made her smile.

“Uh-oh” Joked Aurora. She ran in and stole one of their kids from him. He smiled and kissed his wife of 22 years.

“See honey, I told you we would still want to have sex in 25 years.” Joked Nick. Aurora playfully hit her husband and they kissed just as passionately as they did when they were younger.

Home Sweet Home

Email: roksbabygirl@aol.com