~^~2 weeks later~^~
I shifted from my position on the couch in the back of the bus. Everyone was fast asleep in their bunks except for JC and Joey, who were both in the front of the bus. The last time I had checked, JC was talking quietly to Mary Beth on his cell phone, and Joey was sprawled out finishing up a late movie on pay-per-view.
I stared blankly at the TV screen as I flipped through channel after channel. I tossed the remote on the couch and looked at my cell phone that lay in it's lone and familiar place on the table in front of me.
'Why hasn't he called?' I thought to myself.
"Hey girl," I looked up to see Joey's chesnut eyes smiling at me.
"Hey Joe... What's going on?" I asked, patting the couch cushion next to me.
Obliging, Joey took a seat. "Nothin', really... I'm tired as hell," he said, rubbing his eyes.
"Yeah, me too."
"So why aren't you asleep?" Joey laughed, while I simply slumped back into the couch with a sigh.
I watched as Joey made the connection between the only object on the table in front of him and my temporary insomnia.
"He still hasn't called?" Joey raised his eyebrows and looked at me, concerned.
"Nope... he hasn't."
"It's been what? A week now?" Joey asked.
"About five days," I told him.
"And how many times have you tried to call him?" Joey picked up my phone.
"Ummmm... I haven't," I said, knowing what was coming.
"You haven't called him once?" Joey looked puzzled, and I shook my head.
"Okay, so you're losing large amounts of sleep over something, that's probably NOTHING to be worriedabout, and all you have to do is dial his frickin' number to find out?" Joey shoved the phone at me and chuckled, rising from the couch.
I laughed and sat up straight, "Joey, it's not that easy... I mean-" Joey cut me off with a gentle peck on the forehead.
"Call him," he smiled and began to exit.
"Y'all are still up?" JC brushed past Joey as he entered.
"I'm on my way to bed. Make sure she gets some sleep," Joey gave me a warm look and patted JC on the back before he disappeared.
"I thought Justin and you went to bed a long time ago," JC asked me, sitting down on the couch.
"Well, Justin did," I laughed, remembering Justin's placid face as he sunk into his pillow, "I tried to... but I didn't have much luck," I half-smiled at JC who was yawning.
"How's MB?" I asked, going back to my channel surfing.
"She's good... A little stressed, but she'll make it," he said, and I heard his voice perk up with talk of her.
"She told me to tell you to 'call him already'... Whatever that means," JC said with a knowing smile.
I sighed, finally picking up my phone. "I was just contemplating that very issue..." I said, rolling my eyes.
"I'm sure it's nothing, Shell."
"That's exactly what Mary Beth, Lance and Eric, and now Joey and you, have all told me... I just hope you're all right."
Tiredly, JC leaned over and kissed my cheek, "Get some sleep," he said and exited to crawl into his bunk.
I laid back down on the couch and returned to my dazed TV watching.
'You know they're right...' I thought. I sat up and looked out into the dark night that sped past me. I closed my eyes and sighed for the hundreth time that hour. 'Call him...' I told myself.
Before I could change my mind, I dialed Brian's number.
"Hello?" he answered after a few rings.
"Bri? Where've you been?" I asked.
There was an obvious hesitation on his part when he heard my voice.
"Brian? It's Shelly... What's going on?" I stood up from the couch and started to pace back and forth in the small area around me.
"Oh- Hi- Hey... Nothing much... Uh- How 'bout you?" He didn't sound like himself, and his words were forced.
I paused, trying to comprehend his reluctantness.
"Brian, why haven't you called me?" I asked.
"Yeah, I know we haven't talked in a few days. I was gonna call... I've just been, um, really busy," he lied.
"Doing what?"
"Uh... you know... working out some of your album details with Johnny, writing new stuff for me and the guys, visiting family," he said, and I heard him swallow hard.
"Right. So when are you planning on telling me the truth?" I laughed a little, trying to lighten up the situation. It didn't work.
"That IS the truth, Shelly. Look, I'm sorry I haven't called you, but I've been busy, okay?" he snapped.
"Damn, I'm sorry. I was just curious, that's all. You usually always call- Even if it's just to talk about nothing... you always call," my voice quieted and I sat back down, putting my head in my hands.
'This is not how it was supposed to go,' I thought, regreting that I had called.
I heard a sigh on the other end of the receiver, "Shell, I just thought... I mean, I just was thinking a lot, and we probably rely to much on each other. So I decided to let you have your own life for a while," he said, sounding exhausted from his honesty.
"Brian, we don't-"
"Yes we do. Well, maybe you don't think you do... But I do. I rely too much on you and you know it," Brian said.
"Where the hell is this coming from? Two weeks ago, things were fine..." I said, confused.
I heard footsteps from Brian, followed by the closing of a door. He remained silent.
"Okay... Well, I don't really know what to say, if that's how you feel," I said.
"Shell... Don't worry. I just have to work on material for you and things are really hectic," he paused and I didn't say anything, "I'll let you know how things are going."
"How things are going with YOU, or how things are going with my fucking album, Brian?" I retorted, and he didn't speak.
"I don't care about my damn 'material.' I love that you're writing songs for me, Bri, but if you're going to stop being my friend in order to be my producer, then you're fucking fired," I tried to quiet my voice, but had little success.
"It's not that, Shelly. It's not about that at all," Brian's started to say more, but stopped himself, "Look... I'm late to pick up AJ at the airport. He's hangin' in Lexington for a few weeks to help work on songs with Kev and I. We have to get a lot done for our new album before I meet you and everyone in Orlando. But, listen, I promise I will call you tomorrow. When can I get a hold of you?" he asked.
"We'll be at the hotel early this morning, and then we have the night off. Call me tomorrow night, I guess," I sighed, still upset.
"Okay, I'll talk to you then."
I rolled my eyes. I felt like nothing had really been accomplished, but at least he would be calling again. "Fine. Tell AJ I said 'hi.'"
"Sure. Sleep good," he said, and the line went dead.
~^~3 Weeks Later, a hotel in Atlanta~^~
"Mmmmm..." my eyes flickered open as the early spring sunlight bounced across my pillow.
I rolled over to find a angelic Justin sleeping peacefully next to me. He was on his side turned towards me, and his lips were parted just slightly, so I could hear his steady breaths. Smiling, I leaned in and kissed his forehead, where a beam of sunlight was dancing below his curls.
"'Morning baby..." I whispered, hopefully trying to awaken him.
"...Hey..." Justin mummbled and instinctively moved to kiss me, but his eyes stayed closed. His lips brushed mine, and he began to lower his head to return to his slumber.
"Uh-uh..." I laughed, bringing his lips back to mine. I wrapped my arms around his back to keep him from escaping.
"Shell-" Justin moaned through our kiss, "Baby- C'mon..." he said tiredly, trying to stop my attack.
I giggled more, moving my hands from around his back, and running my fingers over his smooth abs, lightly tickling him. My lips traveled down his neck and onto his ear before returning back up to meet his soft mouth.
"Good God, woman..." Justin smiled, finally giving into my early morning antics.
~^~About noon that same day~^~
I heard the slow hum of the shower begin as I pulled the sheets off of me, finally getting out of bed. I slipped on a fluffy white robe and poured a cup of coffee from the kitchenette. Walking towards the door to the balcony, I opened the window's blinds.
It was the second week of April, and the sun peeked out from behind a few large clouds. My mind wandered, and I instantly began going over my calendar in my head.
The tour would finally come to an end in a few days. There were only two more shows before the last three in Orlando, which would help us go out with a bang. Justin wanted me to meet his mother, who was in Orlando, and all of us were welcome to stay at her house for the last days of the tour.
Everyone on the tour was happy to have a break, especially the guys and I. Mary Beth would be getting back just in time for the last three shows, and then it was off to spend a relaxing May and June wherever we desired. First on the list: Johnny Wright's open house.
Johnny was going to be vacationing in Europe for almost all of May, and he assured us that the guys and I were more than welcome to stay at his "estate" until he returned.
"You better keep her healthy before she has to work day in and day out in that studio," Johnny had joked with Justin.
All the papers had been signed, and things were set up for the recording of my album. Songs were lined up, back-up vocalists were ready to go, and all I needed to do was end the current tour. After a week or so of kicking back at Johnny's house, I would go into the studio in Orlando with Brian and a few other producers to record until June began. Johnny wanted to rush everything in order to get the CD out before the Jive Summer Tour, that would start in July, and which I had recently gained a slot on.
All the guys were ecstatic about my album, and although Eric was sad that I wouldn't be singing and dancing with him anymore, he encouraged me to go through with it.
Thoughts of the album instantly made me miss Brian. We talked about twice a week, and I tried to give him space and go along with his "giving me my own life for a while" but I still missed him like hell most of the time. I didn't understand his reasoning, and, quite frankly, I wanted my friend back. I started to sing through the only ballad that Brian had written for me as I slowly stirred my coffee.
Can you hear it in my voice?
Was it something I let slip?
Does the whole world know?
Isn't it obvious?
I'm the one who's in control
Now I'm acting like a fool
Do my feelings show?
Is my face aglow?
Isn't it obvious?
That I don't know what I'm doing anymore
I'm feeling like a little girl
Caught up in emotions
I'm out of control
Isn't it obvious?
Do you see my hands
They tremble
Wonder why I can't look you in the eye
Don't know how long I can keep this inside
Isn't it obvious?
I glanced at the clock quickly- 12:57. We had to be on the bus by 1:15 to go to the soundcheck.
"Crap..." I walked from the window and set my mug of of coffee down on the dresser next to my suitcase.
"Just??" I yelled as I dug through my suitcase for clothes.
"Yeah?" Justin called, and I heard the shower water turn off.
"It's almost 1, baby," I told him, pulling on a tight t-shirt and a pair of faded jeans.
Justin emerged from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, and steam following his dripping skin. He rolled his head around, cracking his neck and stretching.
"I just gotta throw on some clothes, and we can head down..." he said running his fingers through his locks, meticuously separating each curl. He made his way to his suitcase which lay next to mine. Pecking me softly, he began to rummage through his clothes.
"You sounded gorgeous on that song," Justin said.
"What song?" I asked, moving behind him and rubbing his silky shoulders.
"That song you were singing. I could hear you in the shower... Is that one of Brian's?" he asked, picking up a gray turtleneck.
"Yeah, he wrote it..." I said.
"...I wonder who the inspiration behind his lyrics is..." Justin mummbled down into his suitcase.
Not hearing his last sentence, I took the liberty of removing his towel and drying him off completely.
