2 Weeks later
December 23
Alyssa raked her fingers through the soft curls falling around her head. She covered her mouth with her hand, letting out a small yawn. The past 2 weeks had been the craziest of her life. After her video hit Trl, her popularity seemed to sky rocket. Her song, Happy had slowly crept its way up to the number 4 Billboard spot. Everywhere she went she seemed to get recognized by someone.
Not only was she completley physically drained, and exhausted.. but emotionally drained just as much. After the night of her video shoot, she hadn't talked to Justin at all. He hadn't called to apoligize, yet why should he? She asked herself that alot.. was everything her fault? Her mind was confused, all she knew were the words he shouted at her hurt worse than anything she had ever expierenced. It didn't matter how hard she tried, the pain was still there. And she still felt a void in her heart, and in her arms.
She was leaving late that night, home to Orlando. She would get these next four days off for Christmas. Christmas had always been her favorite holiday, but she wasn't sure about it this year. She grew up celebrating Christmas with her family, and people that she loved. After she had moved to New York her and Sean had spent two Christmas's together. She thought she loved him then, and now that she looked back she knew it was stupidity. But, despite everthing she hated about him, he made her Christmas happy those years. More with material things than actual love. Atleast she had someone to spend the day with, it was hard for her to think about spending Christmas day all alone this year.
A knock on the door sent Alyssa's thoughts straight to the gutter. Looking around she was brought back into complete reality. There she was spacing out, alone in her dressing room. She didn't have anyone to talk to, nor did she really FEEL like talking.
"Come in..." She shouted, watching Drew peek his head inside, before walking all the way in.
"Miss Taylor, heres the chicken and salad your ordered," Drew handed her the plate of food, and a diet coke.
"Thanks Drew," Alyssa smiled at him, tapping the top of her coke can.
"Anything else you need?"
"I think I'm alright, thanks though..." Drew nodded his head closing the door softly.
Alyssa sighed, picking her plate up. She set it in her lap, poking at the contents with her fork. Grilled chicken, and a ceasar salad. Just as she was about to take a bite, her cell phone interrupted her. Rolling her eyes she set her food down grabbing the phone beside her.
"Hello, Alyssa Taylor" She could hear someone breathing on the other line, but they were hesitant in talking. "umm... hello?" She asked again, another pause.
"Alyssa...this is Justin," Alyssa felt her heart skip a beat, her stilled breathing becoming uneasy. "I think... I think we need to talk," Justin's voice was choppy on the other line.
"Yeah..." She had been both wanting, and dreading this call for the past two weeks. She didn't know if she was ready to address him...she had no choice now.
"Alyssa, this is hard to say. Nothing that happened should have happened. And I can't really say sorry enough. You know that everything I said, and I hope everything you said wasn't true. I just want things to be how they used to be. I just need something from you. I need to know that you feel the same way about me, as I feel about you. I can't waste my time on something that's non-exsistent."
Alyssa felt her breath get tangled in her throat. After everything that had happened, and everything she had told him, he was STILL putting her under pressure. Did he call to apoligize, or to be selfish and hear the things he wanted to hear?
"Justin, after what happened I-I'm scared to say anything to you. You aren't the Justin I used to know. I don't know what happened... and I think that maybe we need some time seperately to think about things...." Alyssa's voice cracked as she said the words. She didn't want that, she wanted him to hold her again, and she wanted to kiss his lips, and feel the comfort his arms offered. She wanted HIM again.
Nothing could have prepared Justin for those words. He didn't know what he was expecting her to say, but not THAT. Not that she wanted to call it quits, and not that she was scared to talk to him.
"Umm ok.... ok. I understand," Justin heard a faint sniffle from Alyssa on the other line, and he quickly clicked off his phone before he heard any more. His eyes stung with tears, as he rubbed his cheek against his phone.
"I love you so much baby..." Justin squeezed his eyes tightly shut, whispering softly to himself. His heart ached, and he felt an emptiness settle down inside of him. He had really messed up big this time.
