(2 Weeks Later, Lexington, KY)
“So how’s it coming along?” a voice asked casually.
“Just fine,” Siobhan responded quietly into the phone. “I’ve almost completed two of their ‘biographies’. If they weren’t so damn trusting, my job would be a whole hell of a lot harder, but thank God their the way they are.”
Mike chuckled on the phone, “I bet.”
Siobhan cracked her gum loudly into the phone and sucked in the deflated bubble. Mike flinched slightly from the loud pop, but ignored it all together and smiled into the phone. Siobhan was working harder than ever and they were actually getting along to a certain extent, so he wasn’t going to ruin that by making a fatherly comment about her gum cracking.
“When are you coming back to LA?” Mike asked, breaking the silence on the phone.
“When my job is done, you should know this is going to take most of the tour. Your the one who sent me on the assignment, remember?” Siobhan replied with slight sarcasm.
“Yes of course,” Mike said in response. “I’m sorry my mind just hasn’t been with me lately.”
“It never has been, oh wait that would be your soul,” Siobhan shot back with a small giggle, obviously amused by her own comment.
“Hm,” Mike grunted in return.
A knock on the door startled Siobhan and caused her to look up. “Yes who is it?” she asked loudly, covering the receiver end of her phone.
There was no answer.
Siobhan waited a few more minutes before sighing loudly to herself and uncovering the receiver. “Mike I’m gonna have to talk to you soon, someone’s playing a prank and I don’t want to be careless,” Siobhan said tiredly.
“Of course, just remember to keep in touch,” Mike said.
“I always do,” Siobhan returned, hanging up the phone after her last comment.
She turned her phone off and shoved it into her purse nearby. She stood up and straightened herself out, wiping invisible lint off her outfit. She walked to the door and swung it open to find JC raising his hand to knock again.
“What do YOU want?” Siobhan asked hostily, glaring at his figure.
JC felt two inches tall with the cold look Siobhan was shooting him. He had, had everything he was going to say planned out, but suddenly, his words seemed to have disappeared.
“I-uh-I mean-you-and-uh-” he stuttered.
“Yes...?” Siobhan asked, raising her eyebrows impatiently. “Can I HELP you?”
“You and I have to talk!” JC finally blurted out, after much trouble.
“We have nothing to talk about,” Siobhan stated flatly, beginning to turn away and shut the door on his face.
JC stopped the door with his hand. “Yes we do, we need to talk about that day.”
Siobhan swung around with a sudden look of anger filled in her eyes. “I already know everything that happened THAT day and if you can recall, I was THERE. Now there’s nothing further to discuss about that particular day, so you can leave now.”
“Siobhan wait!” JC pleaded, planting his foot firmly in the doorway.
Siobhan’s expression turned angrier and angrier as the seconds passed. “IF YOU DON’T MIND,” she said sternly through gritted teeth. “I would rather not bring up time and just leave it as it is.”
“But it’s wrong the way it is,” JC argued, determined to fix things between them. “Siobhan you can’t avoid me for the rest of your life!”
“Oh watch me,” she challenged. “I’m not going to be with this company forever and if you continue to stalk me outside of work and such, then a restraining order can always work, so BACK OFF.”
“No Siobhan you don’t understand!” JC pleaded again.
“Understand what JC? The fact that you followed me to the hospital and watched me let go of my father without knowing anything of my past? Or the fact that even though I forgave you for being so damn curious and nosy, you still chose to screw me over. No no, maybe it’s the key event of finding all your close friends in a linen closet, tumbling out on my apartment floor because they were ‘supposedly’ spying on us,” she said finished with quotation marks.
“That IS what happened, but I didn’t tell them where I was any of the times I was with you!” JC tried explaining quickly. “I don’t know how they found out where you lived or anything!”
“Maybe they asked you and you told them...!?” Siobhan suggested, trying to shut the door.
“I didn’t tell them though!” JC responded in a trying tone, gripping the door with his hands to keep it from shutting.
“Then how the hell did they find out?” Siobhan asked smartly. “Don’t tell me the tooth fairy told them.”
“I honestly don’t know how they found out, but I assure you I had NOTHING to do with it! I was with you the whole time and when I wasn’t, I was in and out of my hotel room, telling no one were I had been or where I was going!”
“And why am I supposed to believe this absurd story or yours?” Siobhan asked, resting for a moment.
“Because I wouldn’t lie to you, I never have and I never will,” JC replied with a deep breath.
Siobhan stared into his eyes and recognized the truth he was speaking, but she wouldn’t let herself believe him. Her face twisted up in anger and she shook her head, rattling those thoughts of forgiveness out of her head. Her eyes burned slightly and she was surprised to feel tears coming. She swallowed the lump in her throat and began trying to push the door shut again.
“Siobhan you can’t avoid me! I saw a part of you that no one has never seen before, please just don’t block me out!” JC pleaded, continuing to make an effort to keep the door open.
Siobhan shook her head and bit her lip to hold back the oncoming emotions about to shatter her silence. “NO!” she finally shouted.
“Why Siobhan? Why do you have to block me out?” JC asked softly this time.
“Because you don’t know me and you don’t belong in my life,” Siobhan replied in a low tone. “And I don’t want you in my life to complicate things,” she added quietly.
“How would I complicate things? I just want you to give me a chance Siobhan, just one chance to show you the world isn’t such a bad place and that people do really care about you, I want to show you everything there is to see,” JC said, eyes softening with emotion.
Siobhan shook her head again, “No I can’t let you...” she trailed off slowly.
“Can’t let me what?” JC asked gently.
Siobhan paused for an extended period of time, almost thinking about what she had to say. Finally she stopped struggling and JC loosened his grip, both were tired from the physical and emotional fight they were having.
“I can’t let you in,” she finally replied, after a long drawn out silence.
“Why?” JC asked almost helplessly, trying to understand. “Why can’t you let me in?”
“Because...” Siobhan protested in return. “Because I just can’t!” she said quickly, suddenly finding the strength to fight for the door again.
JC snapped out of his thoughts immediately and began pushing the door again in defense. “Siobhan please don’t shut me out! I just want to talk!”
Siobhan shook her head, now getting angry. “NO!” she almost shouted. She bit her lip to control the volume of her voice and her now rising temper. “Leave me alone!”
JC managed to somehow wiggle half of his body into Siobhan’s room, still partially in the hallway. He looked down at Siobhan with pleading eyes and his face looked tired and helpless, but determined at the same time.
“Siobhan...” he said softly.
Siobhan got chills down her neck when she heard him say her name and she hated feeling that way. She refused to give in to his puppy dog face and his soft voice. “I told you...” she replied through gritted teeth. “Leave.”
JC finally looked like he was going to give in and finally leave her alone. His shoulders slumped forward and he sighed tiredly, trying to hide most of his disappointment. He wasn’t really sure what to do next, but all of the sudden he took her face in his hands and brought his lips down to hers.
Siobhan was caught off guard by this sudden move and didn’t prepare herself for the feelings that ran through her body when his lips met hers. Her eyes widened in surprise and she felt chills run down her body and back up, sending rushes of energy throughout her whole body system.
Suddenly she snapped herself back into line and pushed herself away from JC’s sweet lips. JC let go from surprise and looked back down at the now breathless Siobhan. His eyes searched hers for a response to his action, but more importantly regret.
She flung the door open quickly and JC looked around quickly, wondering what was going to happen next. She suddenly pushed him roughly into the hallway and he stumbled back from shock.
“Siobhan I...” he trailed off, not sure of what just happened.
“Don’t you EVER kiss me again!” Siobhan blurted out angrily. “If I had known you’d do that I would have done more than push you and trust me it would be a long term effect!”
“Siobhan just let me explain...” JC tried, now regaining balance.
“NO!” she shouted, not caring about the volume of her voice this time. “NO NO NO!” JC watched in amazement as Siobhan almost started jumping up and down like a little child. “Don’t ever touch me like that ever again, don’t assume that you can kiss me and everything will be better!” she ranted. “Do you hear me MR. CHASEZ!? NEVER!” she yelled, slamming the door after her last word.
JC was left speechless in the hallway, wondering if what just happened, really did happen in front of his eyes. He knew he saw something in Siobhan’s eyes when she pulled away, resistance. She was TRYING to pull away from him but he had the feeling she did want him to kiss her like he did.
Quite honestly, JC wasn’t really sure where all that had come from. One second he’s fighting his way into Siobhan’s hotel room to talk to her and the next thing he knew her face is cupped in his hands and he’s kissing her. Just as he was really getting into the kiss she pulled away and pushes him, screaming and throwing a tantrum.
JC shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. “I’ve gotta work on my moves with the women in my life...” he said to himself as he began to head back to his room.
Siobhan slammed the door and leaned with her back to it, sliding down miserably. She hung her head between her propped up knees and let out a sob. Why was she doing this? Why was she pushing the only good thing away in her life and not letting it even get in a ten foot radius if her? Why was she betraying this person while caring about them at the same time. More importantly why did she push that kiss away?
She was afraid she might fall for him.
Siobhan was deathly afraid of letting him in fear that he might take advantage of that power he could possess over her. Then again something inside of her told her that JC just wasn’t that type of person. But the only male figures in her life so far, seemed to be prick’s so why should she give this one a chance?
Siobhan let out another sob and picked up her head slowly, only to lean back and rest it on the door behind her. She breathed deeply and thought about what had just happened. She brought a shaky hand to her face and traced her lips with her trembling fingers. Her lips still felt a faint tingle from the contact of his lips and the passion and feeling exchanged with that kiss.
Her hand suddenly fell to her side and she shook her head, trying to get rid of all thoughts of JC. What was she thinking? Her head was drifting back into the clouds and that just wasn’t aloud, kiss or no kiss, she still had a job to do and that was to ruin the image of the playful boy band *N SYNC.
(One Week Later, Cleveland, OH)
The past week had seemed to pass in a blur and the schedule was constantly keeping the guys busy, not to mention leaving Siobhan lots of work to try and find out as much dirt on these particular guys, possible. Her task was being completed, but time was running out and so was her information.
The guys were relieved to learn that they had a day off coming up the next day. Touring had been rough, but Siobhan had loosened up a little and joked around with the guys, enough to call them friends and for them to get used to her being around.
She tended to ignore the feelings of concern towards them that she had developed. She didn’t want to become attached and the more she tried to resist, the more she managed to care about these five guys, one in particular.
Though things had been interesting and half awkward between her and JC they both seemed to get along with each other enough to be civil around each other when shoved in the same environment together. As much as Siobhan seemed to try and GET AWAY from JC, he seemed to always be right around the corner, which aggravated her, but at the same time made her smile.
Siobhan was busily tapping away at her computer when JC sat beside her. Siobhan looked up after a second and when she realized it was him, decided to ignore him. She focused her attention back to computer screen and proceeded in completely blocking him out.
“You can’t ignore me for forever,” JC said casually, watching her ignore him.
Siobhan didn’t reply.
“I mean I know you act like you hate me, but there’s something in your eyes that tells me you want to talk to me...” JC said cautiously, trying to carry confidence and humor in his tone of voice.
Siobhan dipped her head lower to see the computer screen better.
JC sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Something’s gotta make you talk to me...something, maybe the actual urge and desire to talk to me?” he asked hopefully.
Siobhan remained silent.
JC finally sighed in a frustrated tone and stood up, giving up for the time being. Justin plopped down on the couch beside Siobhan causing her to bounce and look up at him.
“Oh it’s just you,” she said with a tone of relief.
“What do you mean IT’S JUST ME?” Justin asked, getting offended. “I mean HELLO! It’s ME!” he joked with a small laugh, pointing to himself.
“Ah yes what was I thinking, let me try this again, ‘OH WOW IT’S JUSTIN!’” Siobhan responded with drawn out enthusiasm. “Did that work or shall I try that again?”
Justin burst into giggles and shook his head, “Your real good at that, I’m thinking maybe every time you see me you should...”
“Don’t EVEN think about it,” Siobhan cut him off. “Now in all seriousness what do you want?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
“I can’t just come over and sit with you and see what’s going in your life?” Justin scoffed playfully.
Siobhan stared at him for a moment before responding, “No, now if you have nothing you need from me, GO.”
Justin huffed and stood up, “I’m going to share my secret with someone that cares.”
“And what secret is that? That you wear tighty whities instead of boxers like a man?” Siobhan replied with a smirk.
“SSHHHH!!!” Justin hissed, looking around to make sure no one heard her. “Didn’t I tell you not to tell anyone...? Besides I never even told you!” he exclaimed, realizing his discovery. “Hey...! Have you been rummaging through my underwear drawer again!? I told you Siobhan, no more auctioning my ‘boxer briefs’ as I like to call them, on ebay! That’s just sick man!”
This seemed to be the funniest thing Justin had heard that day, because it sent him into a fit of laughter, which he was unable to control the least bit. Siobhan watched as he leaned over, exploding with laughter from his own joke.
Siobhan watched for a few minutes before shaking her head slowly, “I’m truly sad for you...I don’t even know how to help you, but they have clinics for people like you...” she said sympathetically.
Justin began laughing even harder for some reason, unknown to Siobhan. “Are you ok?” she asked, wondering if he was going to breath anytime soon. “Don’t die or pass out on my or anything, I don’t know CPR or anything so you’d be shit out of luck.”
Justin nodded his head and continued to laugh, now because of the comments Siobhan continued to add to her original one. Siobhan continued to stare at this teen pop star, laughing at something SHE said, in all seriousness. Before she knew it she was giggling under her breath. She covered her mouth with the back of her hand to seem like she was coughing in a ladylike fashion, but secretly was trying to contain all the laughter traveling through her body to her mouth, pushing to get out.
Justin began to die down in his laughter and wipe his eyes from the slight tears Siobhan’s comments had caused. He looked over at Siobhan and saw her trying to let out her laughter, but could tell she was holding it all back.
Justin dipped his head down and began studying her with a sly grin on his face, “Is that a smile I see on Siobhan?” he asked in an almost taunting tone.
Siobhan realized she was caught and tried to play it off casually, so she shrugged and looked back down at her computer, bringing her hands back to the keyboard. Justin continued to stare and Siobhan could feel his eyes burning into her. She shifted uncomfortably and tried to concentrate on what she was reading over, but couldn’t seem to get comfortable. Justin moved a few steps closer to her.
Siobhan cleared her throat and continued to make her best attempt to ignore Justin, who was STILL staring at her. She faked a cough and cleared her throat yet again. Siobhan shifted once more before finally looking up at Justin with an exasperated look.
“What!?” she exclaimed. “Why are you still here?”
“You never answered my question,” Justin said casually, standing up straight and folding his arms across his chest.
“What question?”
“Did I actually see a smile on the forever scowling Siobhan?” Justin said with a sly smile.
Siobhan paused. “I’m not forever scowling.”
Justin sighed and rolled his eyes, walking over to her again and plopping himself down on the couch. “Please Siobhan I don’t think I’ve seen you smile since we left Cali.”
Siobhan almost grunted. Her ears burned from the sudden rush of emotions flowing through her body. “Yes well, I think we both know why that is.”
Justin bit his lip and closed his eyes, she could tell he was kicking himself for that comment. While he bobbed his head slightly, back and forth, Siobhan almost pitied him. He looked truly sorry for what he did and for now at what he just said. Siobhan suddenly erased that possibility and cleared her throat again.
Justin’s eyes opened slowly and saw her staring curiously at him. “Sorry,” he said in a low tone.
Siobhan nodded slowly, “It’s ok...” she trailed off.
Suddenly the room got quiet, but for once it wasn’t awkward, it was a comforting silence. It was the silence after apologies and forgiveness had just been exchanged. Siobhan didn’t know it, but that apology and acceptance of the apology was the first step to something she would have never dreamed of.
The fourth of July was rapidly approaching and the guys couldn’t seem to sit still with all their excitement. They were all grouped around together, talking enthusiastically about what fireworks they should purchase for after their show.
“I think we should get colored ones,” Joey concluded.
“Joe...were gonna get more than one kind, chill,” Justin said shaking his head and scribbling something down on a piece of paper. “More importantly where are we going to get all these fireworks?”
Chris shrugged, “Probably at a gas station or something, we’ll look when we stop somewhere.”
JC leaned back in his seat and folded his hands on his stomach comfortably. He gazed around the room and watched his friends talking amongst themselves, but felt disconnected from them. It almost seemed as if the room went quiet and all JC could hear was pure silence. The mouths of the other people seated around him seemed to move, but no sound came out. He narrowed his eyes and took this moment of silence to think about what he had been trying to avoid thinking about for the past few days, Siobhan.
JC stood up and headed for the door quietly.
“C where you going?” Chris asked, pulling his attention out of the conversation.
“To lie down for awhile, I’m still tired from the traveling,” JC replied, rubbing his eyes for the effect.
Chris nodded and the other guys waved without looking up.
JC crept out of the hotel room and decided to go for a walk instead of back to his own room. He strolled down the silent hallway, engrossed in his confusing and troubling thoughts when he ran into a tall figure.
JC looked up startled and found Lonnie looking down at him with a raised eyebrow. JC looked up and smiled weakly, “Hey Lon.”
“Where do you think your going?” Lonnie asked, ignoring his smile. “Out by yourself?”
JC nodded and smiled again.
Lonnie shook his head, “Not without someone by your side, you’ve gotten into your fair amount of trouble lately with the sneaking, oh I’m sorry as you put it ‘wandering’ off you’ve been doing lately.”
JC sighed to himself and his face fell and expression turned to almost depressed. Lonnie’s face softened and he looked down at the smaller figure. “What’s wrong C?” he asked with concern.
“Everything,” JC mumbled in a low tone. “Everything Lon.”
“Let’s go for that walk you were headed out for and see what shrink Lonnie can do to help out, maybe just listening will do the trick.”
JC nodded and let Lonnie led him towards the door while he trudged alongside.
Siobhan cracked her gum loudly and shook her foot nervously. She studied the screen once again and rubbed her eyes tiredly. She was getting tired of writing about these guys, especially since it was against them. It was almost like her conscience had been kicking in lately when she worked on her “special project”.
She had almost completed her biographies for the website and she was almost sad to see them finished. She hated to admit it but she actually had fun putting them together, choosing backrounds and pictures to go along with all the information.
Siobhan rubbed her eyes and leaned back. She sat up for a minute to stretch out the kinks in her back and neck, making a small groan with the good feeling of her muscles being relaxed for a few seconds.
She tapped her pencil on the bed sheet and cracked her gum loudly again, sucking back in the popped bubble. She chewed noisily and narrowed her eyebrows in thought. She couldn’t concentrate anymore.
She had been working on JC’s biography and she couldn’t seem to put together anything she liked and more importantly when she was working on her special project, she couldn’t find anything blackmailing against him. It was either that or she didn’t have the heart to write it about him.
Siobhan sighed loudly and chewed nervously. She needed something to drink to wake her up or just an excuse to get up and leave her contained room. Though she had to admit, the privacy she had gained that day was nice for a change and gave her time to work peacefully on both projects.
Siobhan unfolded herself and logged out of everything, shutting down her computer afterwards. She took no chances. When she was satisfied about everything being safely locked up, she slipped on some shoes and shoved some money in her pocket, pushing loose pieces of hair out of her face.
She opened her door and headed for the lobby.
“Have you ever cared about someone more than you realize and tried everything you can to make them happy, then once you do something happens to ruin it all and your completely miserable?” JC asked, staring blankly at the floor.
“Girl problems?” Lonnie asked.
JC shrugged, “Sort of.”
Lonnie tilted his head.
“She’s a girl, but she’s a friend and only that,” JC explained.
Lonnie nodded his head, “I take it we’re referring to the pretty lady Siobhan?”
JC raised his head and looked up at Lonnie, “How did you know?” he asked.
Lonnie shrugged, “I’m just good like that, never mind how I know, what happened?”
JC sighed gloomily again and decided to try and explain everything to Lonnie. “Well Siobhan has been a difficult person since the day she walked into the door for her job. Something about her really intrigued me and so I tried to get to know her better. The more I tried the more she resisted and the more information I ended up stumbling on.”
“And she resisted to you getting to know her?” Lonnie asked.
JC nodded.
“JC my man, you gotta learn when a girl says no, she means it,” Lonnie chuckled to himself.
JC raised an eyebrow and twisted his mouth to the side. “Very funny.”
Lonnie nodded with another chuckle, “Thanks I thought so too.”
“Obviously,” JC shot back nonchalantly. “ANYWAY...Siobhan and I suddenly bonded, which I can’t really explain, but everything went well after that. Then all the sudden I find everyone in a linen closet and she’s gone and now...no more trust.”
Lonnie raised an eyebrow with a slightly confused look on his face. “Linen closet?” he asked slowly. “Just tell me who was in the closet, I don’t want to know anything else.”
“The guys and D,” JC said in a low tone. “That’s why there’s been so much friction between everyone lately, I guess it’s partly my fault because if I had just let people on to a few things then they wouldn’t have followed me, but then again what if I let on to TOO much and everyone let it slip to Siobhan...” he rambled.
“JC!” Lonnie cut in. “I understand why you made the choices you did and I respect that, but you gotta love the guys and D to be curious because they care, besides their so used to everyone telling each other everything, in a way, they might have felt a little shut out. Their intentions weren’t exactly honest but their hearts were in the right place, now I’m not saying that, that makes up for what they did, but it does give them a little credit on their part. Have they apologized?”
JC sighed to himself and nodded slowly. “After I walked away they called on my cell and I just snapped at them and hung up...”
“Well then you know they were truly sorry, sometimes we don't use our heads when we make actions and let everything else around us blind us to not think about what might happen later or who it might affect.”
JC shrugged, “I know...but I was just so angry with them for not trusting me and ruining everything.”
“I don’t think they meant to do all that. I think they only intended to find out where you had been running off to for the past few days, then call it a day, I doubt they meant to go as far as it did and ruin everything between you and Siobhan,” Lonnie responded, waiting for JC to look at him.
He didn’t. “I guess so...”
“You KNOW so, but your just too stubborn to admit it,” Lonnie corrected.
“Yeah you could say that...” JC laughed lightly.
Lonnie grinned, happy to see a glimmer of hope back in JC’s face. He knew with time everything would come back to JC again.
They rounded another corner, when JC slammed into someone, knocking heads with them.
“OW!” they both yelped in unison.
JC backed up immediately, clutching his suddenly aching forehead while the other person almost fell forward from surprise and pain. Lonnie grabbed on to the other figure before they fell completely and JC backed into a wall.
Lonnie laughed out loud to himself at the scene he just witnessed and shook his head. JC looked up to find Siobhan rubbing her bruising forehead. He sighed to himself, cursing his own luck of hurting Siobhan in every way possible, physically and emotionally, or so it seemed.
“Are you ok?” he asked, peeking over to her.
Siobhan looked up when she recognized the voice, she didn’t know if she should yell or be calm. After all that collision really did hurt, but the sight of JC caused a flutter in her stomach and it threw her off guard.
“Y-yeah, I think so...” she stammered.
Lonnie helped her into a full standing position as Siobhan smiled at him weakly, saying a silent thank you. Lonnie made sure she was stable, then let go.
“That was some accident you two had there,” Lonnie commented, looking back and forth at the two standing in silence.
Siobhan was still rubbing her head and looking down at the floor or anywhere else besides JC’s face. JC seemed to forget about the pain that shot through his head and had his stare fixed on Siobhan’s face, obviously trying to make eye contact.
Siobhan finally took a deep breath and looked up. She stared JC directly in the eye and didn’t speak a word. It was taking all of her will power not to cry or fall into a heap on the floor, but instead stand strongly as if nothing was the matter. But something was the matter and she couldn’t understand why it had to be coming from the figure standing in front of her.
“I have to go...” she finally said, edging her way around JC. “Sorry about that...whole thing...” she quickly mumbled and almost seemed to bolt down the hallway in the direction of her room.
JC watched her leave and Siobhan could feel his eyes burning into the back of her figure but couldn’t turn around, she was already having enough trouble walking away. She shook her head and tried to shake her thoughts out, while trying to delete the feelings in her heart.
JC watched until Siobhan was fully out of view and sighed heavily, turning back around to Lonnie.
“Women...who knows!” he said, shaking his head sadly.
“Amen to that!” Lonnie laughed, patting JC lightly on the back. “Amen to that!”
