When I heard the news about you going into rehab for depression and alcohol abuse, I was incredibly sad. But I was not shocked. It is a sad fact of today's world and the demands put on people like you, that all too often alcohol wins out.
I've been there. When you feel all alone, and you feel like nobody could ever understand how you feel, When you don't even understand it yourself. Alcohol offers an escape, a reprieve. It numbs the pain and dulls the senses. At first it makes you happy, but then it makes you dependent and your whole character changes.
It is then that you need your friends and your family around you for they are the ones who will tell you. They are not afraid of your anger and they will keep on telling you until a tiny shard slips into your consciousness. And then you realise. You wake up and you find the strength and the courage to admit your problem. And that is exactly what you have done AJ. You went to your brothers and you admitted what they already knew, and you got yourself some help.
It's not going to be easy. It's probably the hardest battle you'll ever fight in your life. But the hardest part is over, you must believe that. The hardest part is admitting you have a problem and you've done that. Use that strength to help you now and in the future. Know that you can always fall back on the love of your brothers, your family, and your fans. With this many people praying for you and giving you their strength, how can you ever fail?
Take your time with this AJ, and come back to us a stronger man. A man who believes in himself above all else. A man who is well and truly loved.
I dreamt about you last night and in my dream, I heard a song. It's called Eternity by Robbie Williams and the words are so perfect for you.
Close your eyes so you don't fear them
They don't need to see you cry
I can't promise I will heal you
But if you want me to, I will try
Sing a sumer serenade
The past is done, we've been betrayed
It's true
Someone said the truth will out
And I believe without a doubt
In you
You were there for summer dreaming
And you gave me what I need
And I hope you find your freedom
For eternity
You were there for summer dreaming
And you are a friend indeed
And I know you'll find your freedom
Eventually
For eternity
8th November 2001
All I can say is "Wow AJ, you go dude!" I saw you this morning on a TV show and you looked amazing. I am so incredibly proud of you, and of the other guys for standing by you and giving you the time you needed. You faced up to a difficult situation and you've come through it. I'm not going to pretend it's all over now and that life is just going to go back to the way it was before. Because we both know that it won't; it can't; and I don't think you would want it to. You have a new strength, a new peace of mind, and a new awareness of how much you mean to everybody around you.
Of course it's going to be hard. You'll hit bad patches but eventually the good will far outweigh the bad. But when you hit the bad patches, promise me that you'll stop, close your eyes, take a deep breath and remember how far you've come already. If you can do that, you'll never fall.
I gotta add here - congratulations on your engagement! I am so thrilled for you and I really hope the two of you will be as blissfully happy as you deserve! Go AJ!