COALITION FOR THE BONELESS by Ken Gage ©1999

Alien interlopers run amok, ecstatically shouting their disrelish: "Puny earthlings! You are powerless to resist us!" But they are all the same.

They swoon in pride over their alien cultures and technologies -- enraptured by every dimension of their very unearthliness. Soon, however, the faceless fiends are choking on their own tenacles as the ape-things overcome them.

Locked in mazes of advanced strategy, the cosmic maurauders underestimate the primatives' mastery of sticks and stones everytime. Their assault saucers plummet; giant robots deactivate; neutralized rayguns fall freely to the ground, splashed with a rainbow hue of alien blood and gore.

"Thirsty work, this," says one puny human to another, lifting a tall glass of water to sun-dried lips.

All across the world's parliments and corporate board rooms and coffee houses, accused men look incredulous and respond nervously: "Goddamnit, I'm just a human being after all! We are all human here...not, not monsters from outer space!" A pause ensues, and then a desperate plea. "Stop looking at me that way! I tell ya', I'm like you!"

The real humans, unfooled by clever chameleon-like disguises, respond wisely with the sticks and stones of a makeshift courtroom. And even though the discovered star creatures manage to retain human form into death, justice is ever unrelenting. The vigilant stand in victory over the space-born dead, proud blood-splattered smiles fixed to human-like faces.

Zacherley goes to commercial mumbling, incoherent and underwhelmed.