Joke One: Mr. Fawkes
"Ah, what a perfect day to ride a broomstick." said Fred Weasley.
And it actually was a perfect day for broomstick riding. The sun was shining, there was a light breeze, and the Ghoul in the attic was too busy dropping pipes to interfere.
"Maybe not so perfect at the moment," George protested.
"What makes you say that?"
George pointed down the hallway, where their younger brother Ron was toddling down the hallway.
"Oh-no" said Fred. "Hide the broomsticks!"
But it was to late, Ron had spotted the broomsticks, and walked over with a huge smile on his face.
"You guys are going to ride the broomsticks?" he asked.
"Er, no. We're just um, polishing them." George insisted.
"Oh." Said Ron, looking disappointed, then he walked away.
"That was a close one," said Fred. "Come on."
The two went outside and had a pretty good time until-
"Wow! Can I try?"
Horrified, the twins turned around to see Ron standing there and watching in awe.
"Ron, you're too young." George insisted.
The next second, Mrs. Weasley called for Fred and George to come in for a second.
"Ron," Fred warned. "Don't touch those broomsticks, okay?"
"Okay," Ron muttered.
When the twins left, Ron turned to two year old Ginny, who was sitting on the back porch.
"I'm not to young to ride on the broomsticks," Ron said. "Am I Ginny?"
The two year old simply sat there, sucking her thumb.
Without waiting for her answer, Ron grabbed Fred's broomstick. He mounted it, and pushed off. Ginny slapped a hand to her forehead.
"This isn't so bad," Ron remarked.
It wasn't for a few seconds, then, when he was about twenty feet from the ground, he said to himself, "How do I get down?". He thought about it for a second then he remembered what Fred and George would do. With this, he grabbed the front of the handle and pointed it downward.
He had pointed it too far downward.
The wind blew throught his red hair as the ground reached up towards him. Ron went into a deep panick, twisted the broom upward, and then lost control of it. He whirled around and around with out any hope of controlling the broom. Ginny covered her eyes.
I'm going to die up here, Ron thought to himself. And even if I don't, Fred'll kill me.
What am I going to do? Ron thought. I can't turn right, I can't turned left, it would be stupid to turn up and it would be even more stupid to turn dow-
CRUNCH!
With a sickening snap, the broomstick hit what Ron thought was the ground.
Things couldn't have been worse, he didn't know where he was, the attic Ghoul was laughing at him and-
"Wait a minute, I'm on the roof!"
And so he was.
Ginny was chuckling and clapping her hands in amusement, and Mrs. Weasley and the twins came out to see what all the noise was.
"Look, that little wrench broke my broke my broomstick!" Fred wailed.
"Wait a minute," said George. "Where'd Ron go?"
Ginny giggled and pointed toward the roof.
"RON!" Mrs. Weasley shouted. "What are you doing up there?"
"The broomstick put me here Mum!" Ron replied, looking at the ground nervously.
Later that evening, Fred had an idea of how to repay Ron for breaking his broomstick.
"Are you sure this is going to work?" George asked.
"Of course," Fred replied. "Follow me."
The two crept up the stairs, Fred holding Percy's wand.
"Can imagine his face when he sees his nightstand?" George whispered, as they peeked into Ron's room.
"Hey, I have a better idea," said Fred. "Instead of the nightstand, why don't we use his teddy bear? He's holding it right now!"
"Brilliant!" George observed. "Go ahead while you have the chance!"
Meanwhile, an unsuspecting Ron sat on his bed with his teddy bear, Mr. Fawkes.
"Mum says I should practice my counting," Ron whispered to the bear. "She says you have four legs.... one.....two ....... three..... four!"
"I did it!" Ron exclaimed, hugging Mr. Fawkes. "I love you Mr. Fawkes."
Ron didn't know the twins were outside, planning something outrageous.
George was overcome with giggles. " 'I love you Mr. Fawkes' " He repeated mockingly.
"Shhhh." Fred said. Fred raised Percy's wand........
Ron had begun to count Mr. Fawkes's legs again.
"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight? I thought Mum said you had four, maybe she need's to practice counting."
Ron hugged Mr. Fawkes, but something wasn't right. For one thing, instead of being soft and squishy, Mr. Fawkes was rubbery and bouncy. Instead of feeling like fleece, Mr. Fawkes felt hairy. And last but definitely not least, when Ron squeezed him, instead of squeaking, Mr. Fawkes clicked. Ron felt a tickling sensation on his arms.
To Ron's horror, instead of seeing a cute teddy bear, he saw a huge, hairy spider that was very far from cute.
Ron let out a dreadful yell that echoed through the house louder than the family Ghoul's banging.
Fred and George were paralized with laughter as Ron stepped on them to get down stairs. Ron scrambled into the kitchen were his parents were reading different sections of The Daily Prophet.
"MUM, DAD, MR. FAWKES IS A WEREWOLF!" Ron belowed as he scrambled into the kitchen.
"What are you talking about?" Mrs. Weasley demanded. "And where'd that spider come from?"
"Mr. Fawkes turned into a spider while I was holding him!" Ron wailed, and he began to cry.
Then came some murmuring and laughing from across the hallway.
"Did you see the looked on this face?" George cackled.
"Yeah, I wish I had a camera!" Fred replied.
The twins stopped laughing immediately when they saw Mrs. Weasley at the end of the hall.
"You two had better have an explaination for this," She said, holding up the spider.
"Er-isn't it a nice day out George?"
"Yeah, Fred, let's get some fresh air!"
The twins ran out of the room, leaving behind a very angry Mrs. Weasley, and Ron, who was frightened out of his wits.
Joke Two: Peeve's Mistake
Fred and George Weasley crept throught the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
They were carrying an industrial strength Dung Bomb and were planning to drop it somewhere.
"Hey Fred, how about we drop it over that balcony?" George asked.
"Brilliant!" Fred answered.
They walked over to the balcony, and Filch was just at the bottom.
"Oh, this is super brilliant," Fred commented. "When we drop it, we can duck so Filch won't see us!"
Just then, Peeves the poltergeist flew overhead.
"Oh, naughty, naughty, Filch will get you! I'll tell, I will!" Peeves said.
Just then, George got a wicked idea.
"Peeves," he said. "If you don't tell, we'll drop this Dung Bomb on Filch's head. If you do tell, he'll catch us and we won't be able to drop it."
Peeves seemed to realize this, and he kept quiet.
Slowly and carefully, Fred and George lowered the dung bomb...
Then they dropped it.
The two ducked, leaving Peeves floating in midair.
After the explosion caused by the dungbomb, Filch looked up. Peeves was the only thing he saw, so he roared,
"PEEVES! I'LL HAVE YOU! I'VE BEEN CLEANING ALL DAY! I'LL HAVE YOU THIS TIME!"
The Weasley twins crepted away in the darkness, completely satisfied.
Joke Three: Rats and Acid
George Weasley crept down the hallway, giggling under his breath about what he was about to do. Silently, he crept into Percy's room. Where was Scabbers? George scanned the room until he found the rat.
"You, my friend, are going to have a marvelous time." He whispered.
Meanwhile, Fred rummaged through his bag.
"Where is it?" He asked himself in frustration. "Ah, here we go!"
Out of his bag, Fred pulled out an extremely hot, high quality grade A, Acid Pop. He crept into the living room, where Ron was reading some kind of comic book about a Muggle.
"Oh Ron," He said.
Ron looked up from the comic book. "Yes?"
"I just happened to have an extra sucker right here, would you like to have it?" Fred asked, somehow managing to keep a straight face.
Ron brightened up. "Sure, thanks!" he said, accepting it greatfully.
"Oh, you're welcome Ron," Fred replied with a grin. Then he skipped out of the room, before pressing his ear to the door.
He could hear it as Ron hummed with enjoyment. The humming turned into a squeal and the squealing turned into a scream as Ron scramble out with such speed that he knocked Fred over without noticing and clutching his mouth at the same time.
"OY! OUCH! MY MOUTH!" Ron bellowed.
"Ron!" said Mrs. Weasley. "What are you doing?"
Ron held up the Acid Pop wrapper.
Mrs. Weasley, beside herself with anger was about to called Fred when Percy stormed in.
"Has anyone seen Scabbers?" Percy demanded. "I bet George has him-"
He was interupped by a shreik coming from Ginny's room. Ginny came scrambling out.
"Mum, Mum! Scabbers is flying!" She shouted.
"Don't be silly," Mrs. Weasley answered. "Rats can't..." She stopped and let out a gasp. Sure enough, Scabbers came barreling around the corner, flapping little gray wings that looked the size of egg beaters.
George came around the corner, pursuing the flying rat and chuckling. He froze when he saw Mrs. Weasley.
"George are you responsible for this?" Mrs. Weasley demanded angrily, holding up the acid pop.
"No..."
With this, Mrs. Weasley turned to Fred.
"So," she said. "You gave Scabbers wings, and gave this acid pop to Ron as a "joke". Correct?"
"I didn't give Scabbers any wings!" Fred insisted.
George chuckled, giving himself away immediately.
"So, you did this," Mrs. Weasley said, turning to George and pointing to Scabbers, who squeaked away madly as he zoomed around the room and out of Percy's reach.
"We're sorry Mum, it was only a j-" George stopped his sentence when he caught the murderous look on Mrs. Weasley's face.
"Why don't we go outside for some fresh air George?" Fred insisted as Mrs. Weasley raised her broom.
"Good idea!"
The two ran outside chased by Mrs. Weasley, and leaving behind a furious Percy and a shocked Ron.
THE END (well, I wouldn't be so sure)