| The Following Were Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers: |
|
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. |
FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 COCKER SPANIEL 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG |
FREE PUPPIES...
PART GERMAN SHEPHERD PART STUPID DOG |
COWS FOR SALE. NEVER BRED CALVES.
ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE. |
|
GEORGIA PEACHES
CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb. |
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...
ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS. |
2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15 |
NORDIC TRACK $300
HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY |
|
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE.. BETTER BE REWARD. |
TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX,
COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800 |
FULL SIZED MATTRESS.
20 YR. WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL. |
BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING
"WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS" |
| HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB |
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB --
$850/offer |
NICE PARACHUTE:
NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE |
We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00 |
|
HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER
"IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!" |
EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175. |
OUR SOFA WILL SEAT THE WHOLE MOB.
100% ITALIAN LEATHER. |
JOINING NUDIST COLONY,
SELLING WASHER & DRYER $300. |
|
ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR
AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER |
OPEN HOUSE
BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON FREE COFFEE & DONUTS |
FOR SALE Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 negotiable. No longer needed. Recently married; wife knows everything |
TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?
WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR. |
| Stock up and save. Limit: one. | We build bodies that last a lifetime. | For Rent: 6-room hated apartment. | Man, honest. Will take anything. |
| Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. | Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first! | Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person. | Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential. |
| Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. | 3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred. | Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included. | Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again. |
| Illiterate? Write today for free help. | Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary. | Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale. | And now, the Superstore -- unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience. |
