Santa is a Fake
Dear Santa,
As you probably realize I am doing this as an English assignment and I think that you are a hocus, overweight, figment of my imagination who takes joy in playing with children's minds so that you are made to look "cool". But anyway please read my letter and don't take any of it seriously because I certainty don't take you seriously.
To begin with I would like a rugby ball with the official Canadian insignia on it. But on second thought you might want to keep it so that you can lose some poundage. Of course I would enjoy it and use it a great deal in my own time on and off the rugby field. This request leads to my next request. The Rugby team in Canada is not doing too well at the rugby world Cup so if you could would you help them along and push them towards being the best of the best in the world. That would be great thanks.
As you probably know (or not) that I have been a pretty good boy this year and deserve a great deal of everything. But certain things come to my mind. I am the son of a Horticulturist (If you don't know what that is then go look it up in a dictionary) and I wish that all Web Worm (also look up) would be destroyed and then all trees would live in perfect harmony (if the North Pole is perfect then come live in Kamloops for a while).
The Last request is that you would leave me alone. I see your propaganda all over. You have signs made just to mimic your obese body. People at Christmas leave cookies out and then they are eaten by "Santa" (who usually the oldest male of every house hold). So please do not bother me or my house hold any more.
