“Aaron!” Nick called up the stairs. “Let’s go! I have to take you to school before I drop your brother and sister off!”

“I’m coming,” he heard his oldest son mumble. The little boy soon appeared at the top of his stairs, his shoes untied, his shirt buttoned wrong, and dragging his backpack.

Nick smiled, slightly, and shook his head at his son’s appearance. “Come here, Air-boy. Let me fix your shirt.” Once Aaron looked presentable, he ushered all three children into the SUV and began to drive to Aaron’s school. Pulling up to the curb at the elementary school, Nick glanced back as Aaron gathered his stuff together. “You have everything, bud?”

Aaron nodded his head. “Yeah.” He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around his father’s neck. “I love you, daddy.”

Nick felt tears pool in his eyes at his son’s heartfelt words. He’d come to appreciate that phrase so much more in the last two weeks. “I love you, too, Aaron.”

Aaron proceeded to say goodbye to his brothers and sisters before hopping out of the car and running into school. “Alright, munchkins. Off to grandma’s.”

Fifteen minutes later, Nick was pulling into the driveway of his parents’ house. He unstrapped Brian and Kayleigh from their car seats and walked with them up the house. He opened the door and stepped into the foyer. “Hello? We’re here!”

A minute later, Jane appeared in the hallway. “Hi honey. Come on in.”

“Hi Gwandma.” Brian grinned.

Jane smiled at her grandson. “Hi baby. Why don’t you guys go into the playroom. I need to talk to your dad for a little bit.” They both watched as Brian and Kayleigh dropped their backpacks and ran downstairs to the playroom.

“Honey,” Jane began. “Why don’t you come into the living room. Your father and I wanted to talk to you.”

Nick rolled his eyes as he followed his mother into the other room. “Mom, everything’s fine. I really don’t have time for this right now.” He glanced at his watch. “I have somewhere to be.”

“We’re just worried about you, Nick,” Bob spoke up from his spot on the couch. “We’re your parents. We have every right to worry.”

“I know you do,” Nick smiled, almost gratefully. “But what’s done is done. There’s nothing I can really do about it.”

Jane and Bob glanced at each other. “Nicky, there’s a lot you can do.” Jane put her arm around her son’s shoulders. “I’ve never known you to give up on something so easily.”

Nick shook off his mother’s embrace before jumping off of the couch. “I have no choice!” He yelled, causing his parents to jump. “Jesus, just let me handle this my way, okay? Now, I have to go.” Before his parents could respond, he spun around on his heel and made his way out the door. Once he reached his car, he threw it into reverse, and peeled wheels out of the driveway. As soon as he was far enough away from his parent’s house, he pulled over to the curb and put the car in park. He reached into his wallet and pulled out the crumpled note. The note that, two weeks ago, changed his life forever. The piece of paper was worn, some of the ink smudged, but he could still make out every word. Not that he had to. He had memorized it days ago. But it still did nothing to make the hurt less. Every time he read it, it was like a thosuand knives stabbing him in the heart. Why? That was the only question he had.

I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe me. You guys are my world. I’m sorry.

That was it. That was all it said. No explanation. No I love you. Just I’m sorry. Sorry for what? For giving up? For walking out? For leaving him with three children to raise by himself? Nick knew that he wasn’t innocent in everything that had gone on over the last year and a half. But he never left all of the responsibility on her. He was always around. Sharing custody of their three children. He never did anything like this. Never walked out of her life for good. Never disappeared without a trace. He had done everything he could think of. He called her parents in Baltimore. He called her friends from college. Her sister. No one had heard anything. No one knew where she was.

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

“Who is it?” Aaron called at the sound of the knocking at the door.

“Uncle Jay,” came the response. “Can I come in, Aar?” AJ heard the lock click before the door swung open, revealing the blonde-haired boy who looked remarkably like his father. “Sup bud? Your dad here?”

“Giving Brian a bath.” Aaron pointed up the stairs before closing the door behind AJ and locking it. “I’m going to watch cartoons.”

AJ grinned as Aaron literally bounced back into the den where he could hear Bugs Bunny blaring from the television. “Carter? You up here!”

“Bathroom!” came the muffled response. AJ took the stairs two at a time and made his way to the end of the hallway where he found Nick, elbow deep in bubbles, trying to give his youngest son a bath. “Busy?”

Nick fixated a steely glare on AJ. “No, Jay. We’re having a blast up here, aren’t we Brian?”

Brian’s lower lip trembled. “I want to get out, daddy.”

“Almost done, munchkin,” Nick told him, his heart breaking at his son’s tears. He hated to see them cry. “Stand up and let me rinse you off.” While Nick finished putting Brian and Kayleigh to bed, AJ went back down the stairs and watched cartoons with Aaron.

“Uncle Jay?” Aaron asked, at a commercial break. “Do you know why my mom left?”

AJ’s heart broke at the sight of the big blue eyes staring back at him. He wished to God that he had an answer for him. For his brother and sister. For his father. But he had nothing. He had no idea what had possessed Katelin to walk out on her family like this. To walk out of their lives for good.

In the doorway to the den, Nick stood there with tears sliding down his cheeks, hearing what his son asked. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that she walked out and left him with all of the responsibility. He loved these kids with all of his heart but he had no idea how he was going to do this. How he was going to raise these children by himself. Sure he had the rest of the guys and his family. His parents had been a huge help. So had his youngest sister, Angel. Everyone helped out. But at the end of the day. It was just Nick, Aaron, Kayleigh, and Brian. Trying to make it work. Trying to pick up the pieces that their mother had left when she walked out the door three weeks ago.

“Alright, bud,” Nick interrupted. “Time for bed. Bugs is over.”

“Aw dad,” Aaron whined, but stopped suddenly at the look on his father’s face.

“Upstairs now,” Nick commanded, pointing up the stairs. “Brush your teeth and get into bed. I’ll be up in a minute.” Aaron reluctantly walked out of the room and walked up the stairs while Nick turned to AJ. “There’s a six-pack in the fridge. Grab it and meet me on the deck. I’ll be out in a minute.”

AJ watched as Nick went upstairs and then walked into the kitchen. The place was looking better than it had in the days after Katelin had left. It still wasn’t as neat as she kept it but it was getting there. There were dirty dishes thrown in the sink that Nick probably wouldn’t get to until the morning. But AJ could tell that Nick was trying to make everything as normal as possible for those three children asleep upstairs.

“Hey.” Nick walked out on the deck where AJ was sitting, quietly sipping on his drink.

“Kids asleep?” AJ questioned, setting his glass on the table.

Nick reached over and grabbed a bottle from the six-pack sitting on the table. “Yup. Snug as little bugs in a rug.”

AJ looked out at the water, seeing the moonlight reflecting off of the Gulf of Mexico. “You seem to be doing alright here, you know. Just the four of you.”

Nick sighed, nodding his head. “We’re getting by, I guess.” He popped the cap of his beer and took a long sip. “It’s hard, Jay,” he admitted, looking his friend in the eye. AJ could see, in the moonlight, the tears that glistened in Nick’s blue eyes. “I mean, I miss her so much. Everything’s just…I don’t know…empty. The house, the bed, everything. But then, there are times—and these times seem to be happening a lot—when I’m just so angry. Angry at her. I’ve never felt such hatred towards another person as I do towards her sometimes. How could she walk out on us like that? Walk out on the three things that are the most important to her? What possessed her to do something like that? It’s not right, Jay. Regardless of what happened between the two of us, how could she walk out on her children?”

“I wish I had an answer for you, Nicky.” AJ tried to sympathize with his friend. “I really do. But only Kate can give you the answer.”

“I know,” Nick whispered. “Too bad I have no fucking clue where she could have gone.”

“I know what I’m about to say is so cliché,” AJ began. “But it’s true. It will get easier, Nick. I swear to you. It’ll take some time. But, one day, it will be easier.” AJ hoped that the words he spoke were true. That one day, Nick would wake up and this would all seem like a distant memory to him. That he awoke with someone next to him who loved him. Who made is life happy and easy. AJ loved Katelin like a sister. All of the guys did. But she and Nicky had been through too much. Way too much in their young lives. And it just seemed like too much of a struggle for them. And this time, Katelin had gone too far in hurting their little brother. And AJ would sure as hell make sure that this got easier for Nick.

<< >>