Nick hung up the phone with his mother and grabbed his keys, racing out the door. He was almost mad that she didn't tell him that today was the day. But deep down he understood why. They hadn't had a chance to sit down and talk about any of this. And Nick decided that it had gone on long enough. They would have their talk. As soon as the appointment was over.

"Mrs. Carter?" The receptionist called. "The doctor will see you now."

Katelin tossed the magazine on the table and followed the nurse back to the examining room. "Put these on," she was instructed as the nurse gestured to the gown laying on the table. "Dr. Morris will be with you in a minute."

Katelin quickly changed and sat there on the table, swinging her legs back and forth. The door opened and Katelin looked up, expecting the doctor to walk in. Instead, she was greeted with the smiling face of her husband. "Nick? What are you doing here?"

"Why didn't you tell me that you had an appointment today?" he asked, pulling up a chair beside her.

"Didn't think you'd care," she mumbled, not looking at him.

Nick grabbed her hands, forcing her to look at him. "Why wouldn't I care? In case you forgot, that's my baby too."

Before Katelin could respond, her obstetrician walked in the room. "Well hello Mrs. Carter, Mr. Carter. I see we're having another one. What is that, four, now?"

"Yup!" Nick replied, happily, squeezing Katelin's hand. "Fourth one, huh, babe?"

Katelin nodded, numbly, as she stared at the man in front of her with wide eyes. Who was he and what had he done with Nick? Nick, in return, just grinned at her. "We're really excited, as you can tell."

"Umm hmm…" Dr. Morris began to set Katelin up for an ultra-sound. "Baby looks healthy," she remarked as soon as the ultra-sound began. "Just about eight weeks along. The heartbeat is kind of slow…"

"Is that normal?" Katelin asked, a twinge of fear in her voice."

"Yeah…sort of," Dr. Morris concentrated on the screen in front of her, her nose wrinkled up in thought. "It's something we'll have to keep an eye on. We'll have to schedule more frequent appointments just to check up on things. It sometimes happens when the mother is under stress." Both she and Nick noticed Katelin bite her lip and look away. "Now I know I don't have to tell you about minimizing your stress, do I, Katelin?"

"No," Katelin replied, sheepishly. If Dr. Morris only knew what was going on in her life.

"I'll make sure she's not stressed," Nick chimed in.

"Thank you, Nick." The doctor smiled, giving Katelin a few instructions and a prescription for pre-natal vitamins.

"Don't look so nervous," Nick told his wife after the doctor walked out of the room. "Everything will be fine."

"How'd you know I was here?" she asked, trying to ignore the thoughts running through her head.

"Mom told me," he replied, waiting for her to get dressed. "I also thought we could talk about some things."

"Whatever," Katelin mumbled, slipping her shoes on her feet and grabbing her purse. "I'm ready."

After dropping off the prescription to be filled, Nick followed Katelin back to the house that they used to share. "I told Mom to keep the kids for a little while," Nick informed her as they walked inside. "She knew that I wanted to talk to you."

Katelin walked into the house and tossed her keys and purse on the kitchen table, before collapsing into a chair, herself. "What do you want, Nick?"

"I want us back, Kate," he said, point-blank.

Katelin stared at him, wide-eyed. "Say that again?"

He knelt down in front of her grabbing her hands. "I want us back, Kate. You and me. Just like we used to be. I love you so much and I never stopped, baby. Just, please, give us another chance?"

"How can you say it so simply, Nick?" She questioned, her eyes still as big as saucers. "You act like it's some little fight we had. Something that can be fixed with a quick apology. You left, Nick. Walked out of here months ago without so much as an explanation. Do you know that I still don't really know why you left? You never really explained it to me. All I know is that you left. You had another girl. Now you got rid of her? You can't keep doing things like this."

"I know I screwed up, baby." Nick looked as if he was about to cry. He didn't think he would be able to stand it if she wouldn't take him back. "I messed up big time. I don't know what was going through my head. Did you know that I've been seeing a shrink?" Katelin shook her head, slowly. "Well, I have. Probably since around Thanksgiving. I didn't think I needed to but then I had a long talk with Brian about everything. About why I had done the things I'd done and he basically told me that I had nothing to lose by talking to someone impartial. Someone who didn't know either of us. He's actually helped me a lot. I began to understand why I had done everything that I had. Why I had walked out. Why I turned to Beth. Why I didn't think that we were good for each other anymore."

Katelin was in shock. She had no idea that any of this had been going on. She just thought Nick was having some sort of early mid-life crisis. Or that he just plain didn't love her anymore. Whatever it was, she never expected that it would be him that would come crawling back to her. But then again, she was pregnant with another one of his kids. He was a stand-up guy, sort of. Maybe that was the real reason behind this. "Why did you do all of those things, Nick? You've never really explained it to me. I had no idea why you left."

"There's no one reason," Nick began to explain. He got up off of his knees and motioned for her to follow him into the living room. She did and they sat down together on the couch. "It was just a lot of little things that had built up. I guess I felt threatened by all of the time you were spending on school and on work. It seemed as if you were always too busy for me." Katelin opened her mouth to protest but he closed his hand over it. "Let me talk, okay?" She nodded. "I know that you weren't, babe. At the time I had blocked out the situation when we were recording the new album. I pretended that I never acted like that. That I never worked until all hours, leaving you and the kids home by yourselves. Missing dinners. Missing playdates. Missing my birthday party. But when the situation was reversed, I couldn't handle it. I guess I kind of freaked. All of the sudden I was this adult. Not the fun-loving kid that I once had been. I had responsibilities. Three children. A wife. I missed the way you and I used to be. Before we got married. Before we had Aaron. Don't get me wrong, Kate, I love those children with my whole heart. I would never wish that they weren't around. I just missed the freedom that we had before them. I missed my brother. I missed everything."

He finally stopped talking and noticed for the first time that she had tears streaming down her face. He reached up and wiped them away. "I don't want you to cry, Kate. I just want you to understand why I did everything that I did. Maybe it'll be a step in the right direction for us."

"Why'd you walk out on me, Nick?" She questioned, her blue eyes bright with tears. "Why did you turn to another woman? I mean, everything your saying is that you were scared of responsibilities. That you wished things were the way they were before Aaron was born. But I was still there, Nick. Before Aaron was born. I mean, except for that time that you were in L.A., you and I were still us. So why did you pull away from me?"

"I freaked, Kate," he told her, shaking his head, slowly. "I know it's a shitty excuse but it's the real reason. I just completely freaked out. I was on tour and I had called you. I had been trying to call you all week and we kept missing each other. But when I got Angel again instead of you, and I talked to my kids who had cried because they missed me so much, I freaked out. I didn't want to be in that life anymore. I didn’t want to be on tour, doing something I loved so much, but yet hating it so much at the same time because it took me away from all of you. I went out that night, got drunk, and ended up hanging out with Beth. She was a dancer on our tour. I had never really talked to her before, save for the few times in rehearsals. But she had been really cool that night. Made me forget about everything. I knew what I was doing was wrong. Every night, we started hanging out a little more. I had told her everything about what was going on. She listened. It made me feel so much better. To have the opinion of someone who didn't know you. Who didn't know our life. I can only count on the guys for so much. But they know you, Kate. They know you and they love you. They never would've been my impartial audience. I needed someone who had no idea about our life. And Beth was that person. And then it just started escalating into something I never expected." He stared at her, waiting for some sort of response from her. If he was her, he was sure he wouldn't have wanted to hear all of that. But it was important that she listen because then, maybe, she could understand where he was coming from. Maybe they could get their life back, afterall. "Say something, please."

"I…I don't really know what to say," she whispered, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand. "As hard as that was for me to hear, I'm glad you told me. I know I'm not completely blameless in this whole situation, either, Nick. And there's a lot of things I need to tell you, too. But I think that's enough for one day, don't you?"

Nick shrugged. "I guess. But you still haven't answered my question."

"What's that?" She asked, standing up to go grab a tissue.

He grabbed her hands, looking imploringly into her eyes. "What about us?"

"Nick, it's not that simple." She wanted to cry at the heart-broken look on his face. "I'm not saying that it's impossible. But it's not something that we can jump back into. Like I said, this wasn't some little fight. It's going to take time. But I am willing to try. For everyone's sake. These kids and ours."

<< >>