2. Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go.'
3. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends > > >in public consisting entirely of 'Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep > > >Bip...'
> > >4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with > > >your pen while talking to others.
> > >5. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a > > >camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
> > >6. Speak only in a 'robot' voice.
> > >7. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
> > >8. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your > > >food, and announce that this is so no one will 'swipe > > >your grub.'
> > >9.. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra > > >dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
> > >10. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
> > >11. Sniffle incessantly.
> > >12. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
> > >13. Name your dog 'Dog.'
> > >14. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running > > >in all weather conditions 'to keep them tuned up.'
> > >15. Reply to everything someone says with 'that's what > > >YOU think.'
> > >16. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as > > >part of your 'astronaut training.'
> > >17. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue > > >your neighbors upstairs for 'violating your airspace.'
> > >18. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the > > >listener it was a 'real hoot.'
> > >19. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying > > >everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
> > >20. Practice making fax and modem noises.
> > >21. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers > > >and 'cc:' them to your boss.
> > >22. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
> > >23. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and > > >see if people play along to avoid the appearance of > > >ignorance.
> > >24. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, > > >and tell the neighbors you are a 'spider person.'
> > >25. Finish all your sentences with the words 'in > > >accordance with prophesy.'
> > >26. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
> > >27. Do not add any inflection to the end of your > > >sentences, producing awkward silences with the > > >impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
> > >28. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your > > >hands over your ears.
> > >29. Disassemble your pen and 'accidentally' flip the ink > > >cartridge across the room.
> > >30. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every > > >action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
> > >31. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
> > >32. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are > > >green, and insist to others that you 'like it that way.'
> > >33. Drum on every available surface.
> > >34. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
> > >35. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
> > >36. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire > > >FBI copyright warnings.
> > >37. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's > > >backpacks.
> > >38. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
> > >39. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first > > >page.
> > >40. Set alarms for random times.
> > >41. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
> > >42. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
> > >43. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a > > >'croaking' noise.
> > >44. Honk and wave to strangers.
> > >45. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
> > >46. Change channels five minutes before the end of every > > >show.
> > >47. Tape pieces of 'Sweating to the Oldies' over > > >climactic parts of rental movies.
> > >48. Wear your pants backwards- Pug has got to add. KRIS KROSS! (peeps actually did that a few yearsback. sierra was her name)
> > >49. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat > > >their complimentary mints by the cash register.
> > >50. Begin all your sentences with 'ooh la la!'
51. ONLY > > >TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
> > >52. only type in lowercase.
> > >53. dont use any punctuation either
54. Buy a large > > >quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole > > >streets.
> > >55. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
> > >56. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
> > >57. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
> > >58. Write 'X - BURIED TREASURE' in random spots on all of > > >someone's roadmaps.
> > >59. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy > > >assassination/UFO/ O.J. Simpson conspiracy theories.
> > >60. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: 'Do > > >you hear that?' 'What?' 'Never mind, it's gone now.'
> > >61. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
> > >62. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for > > >their parsley.
> > >63. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
> > >64. Demand that everyone address you as 'Conquistador.'
> > >65. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your > > >socks.
> > >66. When Christmas caroling, sing 'Jingle Bells, Batman > > >smells' until physically restrained.
> > >67. Wear a cape that says 'Magnificent One.'
> > >68. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
> > >69. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
> > >70. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk > > >to it.
> > >71. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on > > >the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce 'no, > > >wait, I messed it up,' and repeat.
> > >72. Drive half a block.
> > >73. Inform others that they exist only in your > > >imagination.
> > >74. Ask people what gender they are.
> > >75. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the > > >cookie parts back in the tray.
> > >76. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a > > >Southern drawl.
> > >77. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing > > >the curious that you don't want to fall off 'in case the > > >big one comes.'
> > >78. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co- > > >workers' brains, such as 'Feliz Navidad,' the Archies' > > >'Sugar' or the Mr.Rogers theme song.
> > >79. While making presentations, occasionally bob your > > >head like a parakeet.
> > >80. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time > > >of day.
> > >81. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until > > >September.
> > >82. Change your name to 'John Aaaaasmith' for the great > > >glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a > > >Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each 'a.'
> > >83. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at > > >passing cars to see if they slow down.
> > >84. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
> > >85. Wear a LOT of cologne.
> > >86. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the > > >faster speed is necessary because of your 'superior > > >mental processing.'
> > >87. Sing along at the opera.
> > >88. Mow your lawn with scissors.
> > >89. At a golf tournament, chant 'swing-batabatabata- > > >suhWING-batter!'
90. Ask the waitress for an extra seat > > >for your 'imaginary friend.'
> > >91. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't > > >rhyme.
> > >92. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then > > >scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something > > >about 'psychological profiles.'
> > >93. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a > > >'magic picture.'
> > >94. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
> > >95. Never make eye contact.
> > >96. Never break eye contact.
> > >97. Construct elaborate 'crop circles' in your front lawn.
> > >98. Construct your own pretend 'tricorder,' and 'scan' > > >people with it, announcing the results.
> > >99. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
> > >100. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
101. Laugh with your mouth full.
102. When out to dinner with someone, excuse yourself to the bathroom. Come back out with your underwear in your hand, lay them onthe
chair beside you, and say, "They needed airing out." 103. When shaking someone's hand, don't let go. Keep shaking their hand until they ask you to stop.
104. When stopped at a stoplight, casually look over at a pedestrian, then, with a paranoid look on your face, lock your door.
