I look pretty
happy, considering the book I was reading,
Kate Chopin's
The Awakening, a grim but oddly beautiful story of
a woman waking to a sense of her physical self, coming
alive only to walk into the dark waters of death. I love the book,
though, for the beauty of its prose style and the rhythm of the
speaking voices. Published in 1900, it did not find a sympathetic
audience. Men would have been disgusted. Women would not
have dared to admit that they felt desire and could take pleasure
in the touch of skin against skin.
This might have been later the
same day. I imagined I might be going to the dinner party
thrown by Edna in The Awakening. I would persuade her
to live.
The truth is, I can't quite
decide how to style my hair. Short, long, dark, light . . . ?
Well, it's fun to switch, according to mood, though I've found
how you wear your hair, or what earrings you choose, or what
shade of stockings, these choices can determine your mood. With
my hair short and silvery, I feel downright matronly, as if I
could attend a bazaar at the country club.
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