The end of last week’s Hangover aires, showing the conflict between the Blue Collar Mafia, the Bomb Squad and the Mavericks. Then it focuses and zooms in on GAP’s face when he makes the stunning announcement of the Doctor’s Orders match. “Black No. 1” by Type O Negative opens the show as the graphics for Trick Or Trauma cover the screen. We switch to a shot outside of the arena, where a huge black house has been erected for the PPV. There’s a slide jutting out and ending in a pit that’s inhabited by a crocodile! The Hardcore Title hangs from a pole just above the croc. Security is lined around the Funhouse to make sure no one that isn’t booked for the match gets in. There are ambulances lined up by the exit, as well as three ambulances in the back, ready for the inevitable injuries that will occur tonight.

Inside the arena, fans are on edge as they wait for the show to begin. Tons of orange and red pyro go off as the Robotron shows a pool of blood flowing around in a circle. The crowd goes apeshit when the shot changes to the backstage entrance and a title at the top says, “Earlier Today.” “Jihad” Johnny bin Laden and his entourage make their way through the security system as Patient stands there. His shirt is off and he’s got a baton through his belt loop. Patient’s looking slightly insane as his anger begins to well up.

bin Laden: I have nothing. I know better. Let me pass and I might be merciful to your friend later on.

Patient: You’re doing jack shit.

Patient puts his index and pinky fingers in his mouth and lets out a shrill whistle. Several security members come to the area wheeling a steel cage.

You. In. Now.

I WILL NOT BE CONFINED LIKE SOME ANIMAL! I AM...

A loud “CA-CHUCK” as the camera pans over to reveal Patient holding a shotgun that’s pointed straight at bin Laden’s face.

What a quaint cell... I think I will have a seat.

”The Innovator” Terry Williams & Raglan James vs. Predator & The Latin Lover

Terry Williams and Raglan James make their way down the ramp to the cheers of the crowd and the sounds of Korn. They hop into the ring and look all business when the words "MAMACITA!" Blast over the PA and Predator makes his way to the ring with Latin Lover. The crowd can only gag as the two men climb into the ring. Latin Lover and Terry waste no time in locking up as Raglan and Predator make their way to their respective corners. Latin Lover is quickly thrown into an arm-bar, but LL backs Terry to the ropes with a few elbows to the midsection. LL shoots Terry off and gets shoulderblocked to the mat! The crowd pops as Terry hits the ropes and LL counters with a drop toe-hold into an ankle lock! Terry starts to scream in pain as LL has it locked in tight. Terry makes his way to the ropes, though, and the hold is broken. LL gets to his feet and motions like he wants Raglan tagged in. Terry rubs his ankle, walks over and tags Raglan! Raglan leaps the ropes a house of fire, but LL dives and tags in Predator who looks shocked!!! Raglan is on Predator, flipping him over the ropes and beating the ever-loving snot out of him! He bounces him from pillar to post and finally hits the "Magician's Trance" (Fireman's Carry into a Hangman's Neckbreaker). COVER 1-2- LATIN LOVER HITS A TOP ROPE LEG DROP ON THE BACK OF RAGLAN’S NECK!!! Raglan rolls off in pain as Terry tries to come into the ring!!! The referee is over and trying to keep Terry out … WAIT! Shay is running from the back! He has a Kendo stick!!! Raglan makes it to one knee AND SHAY BREAKS THE KENDO STICK OVER HIS HEAD!!! Raglan falls to the mat in a heap as Latin Lover rolls the completely beat-down Predator out of the ring. The crowd boos as the referee turns around … 1-2-3!!! PREDATOR AND LATIN LOVER STEAL ANOTHER ONE!!! Terry begins arguing with the referee as Raglan is holding his head and rolling on the mat … Terry doesn’t see Latin Lover stop and turn around on the ramp …wait … LL has a chair!!! He creeps up behind Terry .. TERRY LOOK OUT!!! Terry is laid out with the chair!!! LATIN LOVER NAILS THREE “Coa Coa Nut Crunch” JUMPING PILE DRIVERS ON THE STEEL CHAIR!!! MY GOD!!! Raglan finally runs in with a chair as Latin Lover makes a break to the back. Terry isn’t moving as paramedics roll in with the necessary equipment. The crowd looks on in concern as Latin Lover celebrates and Terry Williams is carted out on a stretcher with a neck-brace on!
WINNERS: Predator & The Latin Lover

A chorus of boos are heard as “Sensual” Benny LaBenze and his crew walk through the back door of the arena. As LaBenze enters, he spies a similar cage and a confined bin Laden smiling at him. He glances over to the guard table where Patient smiles and motions towards the cage with the shotgun.

Benny: NO WAY! Get out of my way before I fuck your face like I do Jennifer’s here.

Patient: Don’t test me turd face.

That guy over there is turd face. I fuck faces. Get it right scar face! Besides, there is no way in hell you would even THINK about...

Patient points the gun at one of his security guards and lets a round fly dead into the man’s chest. It sprawls him out on the concrete, revealing instead of a massive chest wound, a small bag of pellets resting on his chest. Patient then turns back and points the barrell at Benny’s crotch.

The next shot’s going straight for “Little Benny.”

My, what a cozy cell! Don’t mind if I do.

Benny skips into the cage, sits down and pulls the door shut. Patient then walks over and secures the cage with similar electronic lock.

Now, I have some other business to attend to. You guys watch over these two and make sure nothing happens. If Zeke shows up, hold him here until I get back.

Sec. Guards: Yes sir! Good luck.

Patient exits the backstage area as the shot changes to that of the Funhouse. The wrestlers are starting to show up and a few even look like they want to start going at it right there in front of the house, but the security guards hold them all back from each other.

Meanwhile, in the locker room, Latin Lover and Predator are celebrating their victory, but are cut short when GAP shows up with a handfull of security guards. Their smiles disappear when GAP clears his throat.

GAP: Well well well, it’s the big man who likes to injure his opponents after his matches. I’ll tell you what Double L, since you like to use chairs, you seem to me like a hardcore kind of guy. You took out Terry Williams, so that leaves an open slot in the Funhouse Match. Don’t change your clothes yet, you have a match in about 2 minutes.

Latin Lover: WHAT??? You can’t do that!

On the contrary, I’m the president of this company, and what I say goes. So get your ass out there! Good luck to you, and happy Halloween...

Latin Lover looks at Predator, completely shocked by the news of his next match as GAP leaves with a chilling laugh.

Hardcore Title Funhouse Match

The Playground From Hell

The fans roar as their anticipation is greeted with a shot of the first room of the Funhouse. The wrestlers file into the room, which is full of playground-style equipment. A jungle gym made of steel bars lays in front of them, making up a huge obstacle course to get through. After that lies a sea of multi-colored balls lined in a huge pit, then onto the next room. What lies ahead? Let’s find out. All of the wrestlers are waiting for the signal to go for it, except Patient, who seems to be missing.

Intercom Voice: RUN YOU APES!!!

The melee that ensues is an awesome sight as some of the wrestlers start brawling, and others run for the jungle gym. It’s a battle between the stables, save for the Masked ShowWood. Cabbie and Abaddon both go after Shay and lay into him with punches and kicks. Shay tries to defend himself, but it’s just no use against the onslaught of Abaddon and the Cab Monster. Ken Wild walks over and joins the fray, pulling Cabbie off of Shay and taking him down with a vicious clothesline! Abaddon rams Shay’s head into the wall and turns around to brawl with Wild. Cabbie is up and whips Shay into the jungle gym, then STUFFS HIM BETWEEN THE BARS WITH A “COACH CRASH”(spear)!!!! OWWWWW! Shay is out of it as Cabbie takes chase after Latin Lover. Meanwhile, Dr. Doom and Carnage have made a head start through the bars and are nearly to the other side as Kave and Vanity give chase. Abaddon takes Ken Wild down with a DDT to the floor, then heads into the bars. Vanity moves through the bars like a monkey, some kind of renewed vigor taking hold over him. He climbs towards the top of the jungle gym on his way across. Dr. Doom and Carnage are laughing to themselves as they make it through the last bars and land on the platform. They waste no time diving in and wading through, but halfway across a fleshy form bursts from beneath the multi-colored balls. It’s Patient, AND HE’S BUCK NAKED!!! What the hell?!?!? Doom and Carnage let out a shriek as Patient’s enormous hands clasp around each of their throats. They immediately reach up to pry his arms away as Vanity reaches the end of the jungle gym, perched at the top. He leaps off with a “Whiplash”(jumping crescent kick) and connects with all three men in the pit! Kave Blackwell reaches the end just as the Latin Lover jumps onto the floor. LL sprints, going for a leap across the ball pit, but Kave kicks his legs out from under him and LL hits the ball pit head first. Kave jumps in after as Cabbie makes it out of the bars.

Door’s closing in one minute. Better hustle kiddies!

Cabbie turns around and shouts encouragement to his new tag team partner as Ken Wild is back up and hustles to try and get through the bars. Abaddon makes it out of the bars as Patient, Vanity, Doom and Carnage mindlessly brawl into the next room. Latin Lover pops his head up to what could only be his worst nightmare, Cabbie, Kave and Abaddon all standing over him. They triple team him as he staggers away and lunges for the door. The BCM makes it in and Ken Wild is finally reaching the end of the jungle gym. He gets out and makes a bounding leap, almost clearing the ball pit! Ken dives through the doorway, and the falling door almost takes off his feet!

Boogie Massacre

The sounds of “Disco Inferno” by the Trammps echo through the next room. There are guard rails guiding a trail to a square, dance floor in the middle of the room. It has multi-colored squares that light up to the beat, and a disco ball hangs from the ceiling, barely illuminating what looks like a wall lined with some kind of wire. Dr. Doom races towards the floor with Patient right behind. Carnage takes Vanity down with a stiff right hand to the jaw and chuckles as he jumps over the railing. Whoops... Snapping sounds echo throughout the room as hundreds of mousetraps go off all over the floor where Carnage just landed! He screams in pain as he runs to the dance floor and mousetraps attatch themselves to his skin and clothes.

Dance or die fuckers!

That voice sounds familiar... Patient catches up to Doom and grabs him by the hair, taking him down to the floor! Doom grabs the back of his head as Patient picks him up and muscles him into a “Vertigo”(swinging full nelson). But that’s quickly broken up when Vanity nails Patient with a “Flashbulb”(superkick) to the back of the head!!! Patient slumps to the floor and Doom turns around to thank Vanity, but he gets decked for his gratitude. Vanity begins to make a move for the next exit, but he’s taken down by a “Coach Crash” from Cabbie! Carnage makes it to the floor and is pulling mousetraps off of himself as Abaddon and Kave shove LL onto it. All of the sudden, the floor begins to move. It slowly spins, gradually picking up speed. Ken Wild finally makes it to the floor and kicks Abaddon in the teeth with a HUGE running boot! Kave picks up LL and puts him on his shoulders in a fireman’s carry. He brings LL down on his knee in a gutbuster, then tosses him off of the dance floor with a fallaway slam, completing the “Keg Toss”! Latin Lover hits the wall and sparks fly!!! “Aaaaahhhh!” He hits the floor, wisps of smoke rising from his back. The floor is starting to spin so fast that the men are stumbling, trying to move. Cabbie makes it to the curtain and starts to pull it aside when Dr. Doom and Carnage reach him. They start beating him down with hammering blows, gaining the advantage. Patient’s limp form is rolled off of the floor by the g-force and is brought back to life through stinging pain from mousetraps! He leaps to his feet with a battle cry and runs for the door, taking Doom, Carnage and Cabbie all through the curtain with him! Vanity is next, followed by Ken Wild, then Abaddon and Kave.

Hope you enjoyed the ride!

Hall of the Dead

The room is pitch black, and the sounds of fighting are the only noise in the room, until...

Who dares interrupt the eternal slumber of the dead?!?!?

The room is illuminated by strobe lights, and everyone is shocked for a moment as the lights reveal caskets lining the walls of the room and dividing it into thirds on the floor. The wrestlers resume fighting, but that doesn’t last long as the caskets open and figures looking like corpses emerge. They start grabbing for nearby wrestlers and manage to get a hold of Carnage. He struggles to break free, but Doom is too far away, and the only one that would be willing to help. Carnage disappears into the crowd of zombies. The wrestlers all forget about each other and try to fight their way through the zombies to the exit. Vanity makes a break through the middle, trying to get through without hassle, but Patient steps out in front of him and buries his fist into Vanity’s stomach. Vanity doubles over and Patient grabs him by the neck, “Bag em ‘N’ Tag em”(two handed face first chokeslam) THROUGH ONE OF THE COFFINS!!! Ken Wild disappears into the next room as Dr. Doom and Abaddon follow, brawling all the way. Kave and Cabbie stop at the exit to each pull beers out of their pockets. The open them up and TOAST??? What the hell, are these guys nuts? They down their beers and walk through the doorway. Patient looks down at the Masked ShowWood laying in the pile of wood, then turns around and knocks out a zombie before heading into the next room.

The Mirror Maze

Come one come all!! Step right into the hall! If you seek the stairs, you must sharpen your gaze, because only five will make it out of the mirror maze!!!

A quick spout of smoke flies into the room from the floor, disorienting everyone and causing them all to lose their bearings. It’s slow going as each man feels his way down the corridors, looking for a break in the haze. Doom makes it out and immediatly punches the first reflection he sees, that being his own. The mirror shatters from the impact and Doom holds his hand, trying to shake off the pain. Another reflection appears, and it’s Ken Wild! Doom frantically looks around, trying to find the real Ken, but completely misses him. Ken kicks Doom in the gut and picks him up, then PUTS HIM THROUGH A MIRROR with the “Virgin Suicide”(spine buster, but puts knee in opponent’s groin)!!! Doom curls up in pain as Ken moves further through, looking for the stairs. Abaddon is lost, and the frustration begins welling up and takes control. He starts kicking in all of the mirrors, leaving a path. A bloodied Patient turns a corner to see dozens of Cabbie reflections. Cabbie catches Patient’s reflections and snickers, but stops laughing as Patient starts to draw near with a look of total seriousness on his face. Kave is totally lost and finally runs into some broken glass. He follows the trail and finds the stairs, where Abaddon is walking up to the top. Kave starts climbing the stairs as Cabbie shows up. Cabbie runs up the stairs, hearing Patient not far behind.

The King’s Court

It’s dark once again, and the remaining contestants run into each other at the top of the stairs. The darkness is broken when bright lights come to life, revealing one HUGE room with a checkerboard floor. Sitting on a throne at the end of the room is The Gutter!!! There is a door on each side of the throne, and Gutter looks at the dumbfounded group.

Gutter: One of these doors leads to the Hardcore Title, the other leads to pain. Watch your step, cause it’s not as easy as it looks!

All five men sprint for the end of the room, totally ignoring Gutter’s warning. Kave runs over a white square and falls in! It’s a pool of milk! He treads to the edge, but he’s lost too much ground. Abaddon sprints forward and hits a slick part of the floor. He loses his footing and falls, sliding straight into a trap door and falling to the floor below! Cabbie starts to slide as well, but changes his course. He looks back to see Wild right behind him, and steps on the edge of a black square. His feet fall right through as the other edge swings upward, revealing another trap door, but Cabbie grabs onto the top edge and hangs there! Ken catches up and goes to kick Cabbie, but realizes that Patient is going to beat him to the doors if he does that. He decides to run for it, and makes it there first! Ken picks the closest door, which is the one on the left. He opens it with a smile, but is soon disappointed when a huge piston shoots out and hits him square in the gut, sending him flying across the room!!! Patient makes it to the other door and opens it, revealing a slide that leads into a pitch black passage.

Go for it man!

Patient takes a deep breath and leaps in. As he slides down, a warm liquid sprays in from above, and Patient emerges at the other end of the slide COVERED IN BLOOD! The crocodile smells the blood and lunges towards Patient! It’s teeth snap inches away from Patient’s little friend, almost taking it off!!! Patient stomps on the croc’s head as he runs over it and dives for the Hardcore Belt. He gets it!
WINNER AND STILL RWF HARDCORE CHAMPION: The Patient

Intercontinental Title Match
Danielle Brisbane vs. Kave Blackwell

"Party Hard" blasts over the PA as a limping Kave comes down the ramp. Kave is still soaked from his dunk in the milk tank, but it doesn't seem to bother him as he spits a stream of beer into the air and the crowd goes nuts. He does a brief "head bang" but ends up grabbing the back of his neck and wincing. It’s evident he’s hurting after the vicious Funhouse Match. He rolls into the ring and makes motions around his waist like he’s already the IC champ. "Just a Girl" fills the air as Danielle strikes a sexy pose at the top of the ramp and flash bulbs light up the entire arena. She teases crowd members by blowing kisses and posing with ringside fans for pics. Kave eyes her up suspiciously as she circles the ring. The referee holds up the IC gold as the both of them eye the title and each other. The two look at each other … THEN SHAKE HANDS!!! The crowd pops! It’s very rare that sportsmanship like this is shown in the hellacious hallways of the RWF.

Dan Gosnell: See, that’s a breath of fresh air.

Mike Colley: Like when you roll down the window after farting in your Geo... Shut the fuck up, Gosnell, and just commentate.

The two lock up and Kave goes directly to an arm-wringer, driving several elbows into Brisbane’s shoulder! Brisbane is driven to one knee as Kave continues to wring it further. Danielle suddenly does a kip-up, roll-through and reverses it into an armbar of her own! The crowd pops as Brisbane lands a few elbows of her own, then wrings Kave’s arm one more time, flipping him over! Kave is down as Brisbane smiles, then steps across his chest with her high-heel wrestling boots! Danielle smiles at the crowd as Kave rubs his arm and chest. Brisbane blows a kiss and gets ready to lock up again. The two warriors lock up .. KAVE GRABS A HANDFUL OF HAIR AND SLAMS BRISBANE’S HEAD BACK AGAINST THE MAT!!! Brisbane bounces hard!!! Kave quickly peels her and shoots her to the ropes and lands a vicious clothesline! Kave winces, holding the arm that was the recipient of Brisbane’s arm-wringer. Brisbane is down and holding the back of her head. Kave peels her again, grabs a handful of ass, then plants her with a "Sorority Sister Slam"(Rikishi Driver) in the center of the ring! The impact almost pops a breast loose as the crowd cheers. COVER 1-2-KICKOUT!!! Feeling kind of bad, Kave adjusts Danielle’s shirt before climbing to the top rope. He pauses, then LEAPS!!! Kave nails a vicious elbow drop and hooks a leg, 1, 2, KICKOUT!!! Brisbane is screaming now and refusing to "go down" - no pun intended - as Kave rolls back and holds his injured arm. He peels Brisbane, launches her to a corner and sets her up for a Tornado DDT … WAIT!!! Brisbane hits a direct straight-punch to Kave’s gut! She follows up with two more and Kave winces in pain as Brisbane leaps up and nails a Hurricanrana!!! Kave is launched to the center of the ring as Brisbane makes her way up! She’s heading to the top rope!! MY GOD!!! "Simple Kind Of Life"(Top rope leg drop)connects!!!! Cover 1-2-kickout!!! Brisbane rolls Kave over and locks on "Don't Speak"(Dragon Sleeper). Kave is looking groggy as Brisbane has it locked in. The crowd watches anxiously … his hand drops once … his hand drops twice … his hand … holds steady! IT’S STEADY! HE’S TO ONE KNEE … HE HAS BRISBANE UP!!! "KEG TOSS!!!!" Fireman's carry into a couple of gutbusters, then a fallaway slam!!! WHERE DID KAVE PULL THAT OUT OF!?!?!?! Kave crawls over and drapes an arm over Brisbane, 1, 2, KICKOUT!!! The crowd pops as Kave lays on his back staring into the lights and Brisbane lays face-down on the mat. Both of them make it to their feet and fall forward, locking up, Kave lifts a knee into Brisbane’s mid-section and sets her up for "Frat House Rumble"(piledriver position into a pancake.) BRISBANE ROTATES THROUGH INTO A SMALL PACKAGE!!!! 1-2-3!!! MY GOD WHAT AN UPSET!!! Kave pounds the mat in frustration! The referee comes into the ring, but Kave snatches the IC title out of his hand. Brisbane eyes Kave who stares at the title. He walks over to Brisbane, HANDS HER THE TITLE AND HUGS HER!!! The crowd pops as Kave raises her hand into the air and acknowledges her victory. Kave and Brisbane hug again as the camera cuts to the back... where a boyfriend of a certian newly-crowned IC champion knocks a monitor off of a shelf and storms out.
WINNER AND NEW RWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION: Danielle Brisbane

Patient is standing by with his security force in the backstage area. An EMT is tending to his cuts as Zeke comes strolling in. He's got the RWF World Title over one shoulder and a suitcase in the other. He's smiling as the crowd pops hugely for him. He looks over and sees Patient standing there. There's an empty cage with a recliner, television and two 'ladies of the night' from Zeke's club resting on the arms of the chair. Zeke then looks over and sees bin Laden and LaBenze staring him down.

Benny: Have a seat champ...

Zeke: What's up with this?

Patient: Not now, Zeke. Just get in. It's for your protection.

I have the BCM. I can protect myself.

You have the Mavericks and Bomb Squad members running loose. I can't be everywhere at once, man, but what I can do is keep the three of you grouped together - killing three birds with one stone. Get in, Zeke.

And if I don't want to?

I'm not telling you Zeke... I'm asking you as a friend. Please. I don't want anything to happen tonight. I have a job to do man.

Zeke looks into Patient's eyes as his face quivers for a second. Zeke then pats Patient on the shoulder, walks by, and flops down into the recliner. The two ladies start to massage Zeke's back as the cage door is closed. Zeke turns on the television as he kicks up the foot rest and leans back.

Anything good on?

Yeah, Jasmin, bin Laden's ex-wife just made her own movie for Original Syn Productions.

HELL YEAH! TILT THAT SET THIS WAY!

Zeke tilts the set towards Benny and bin Laden to show off Jasmine's DVDA skills with several Jewish men. Bin Laden begins to foam at the mouth as several things I can't describe in this paragraph happen to Jasmine. Let's just say the words "Money Shot" would be the start of the escapades appealing to all of your prurient interests.

bin Laden: INFIDELS!!! YOUR BLOOD WILL FLOW LIKE WATER!!! I WILL WIPE MY UNWASHED ASS WITH THE FACES OF YOUR CHILDREN! I'LL SEND YOU ALL TO HELL! AAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!

Patient, Benny and Zeke start laughing as the cages are escorted away to a safe location.

Tag Team Title Match
Synnergy vs. Cabbie Klowaski & Abaddon

"Never Gonna Stop" starts to play and the crowd boos as Blockbuster, who is the fresh man in this match up, steps out and heads to the ring without Sandra. "Fat Lip" starts to play and Shay comes out to mixed reactions from the crowd as a lot of fans are cheering his performance in the Hardcore funhouse match. The crowd goes nuts when Weird Al's "Another One Rides the Bus" hits the speakers and Cabbie comes out pouring alcohol on some cuts he aquired during the Hardcore Funhouse match. He waits at the bottom of the entrence ramp as the arena gets dark and smoke makes its way down the ramp followed by ten men in red cloaks with torches. They stand on the sides of the ramp and a small fire starts between them! The ramp opens and Abaddon is being lifted up through the flames as his Music plays. The crowd is going crazy over the hyped up PPV enterence. Abaddon then slowly makes his way to the ring and simply stares at his opponents as Cabbie plays to the crowd. Blockbuster appears to be starting the match for his team, and Cabbie exits as Abaddon starts the match for his team. The bell sounds and both men circle eachother. The two lock up, and Blockbuster shoves Abaddon down hard. Abaddon sends and evil glare up at the freak of nature in front of him, then gets up to test him again. They lock up again, this time Abaddon sends Blockbuster back a bit, but only to be shoved down again. Abaddon punches the ring and gets up to lock up with the big man again, but this times sends a kick to Blockbuster's stomach and follows up with a punch to his face, followed by another and another until Blockbuster is close to the ropes, and then Abaddon nails him with a hard clothesline that sends Blockbuster over the top rope and to the outside. The crowd cheers as Abaddon is hyped up now and gestures for Blockbuster to get back into the ring. An enraged Blockbuster gets back in and the two start trading blows. Abaddons busted forehead from the Funhouse match opens up again and is bleeding bad. Blockbuster stops the exchange with a kick to the stomach and a fallaway slam. Blockbuster then picks Abaddon up in a torture rack and begins to stretch out his back for about a minute, before pressing him in the air and tossing him to the outside. Blockbuster then distracts the ref as Shay heads to the outside and nails Abaddon with a "Side Kick" (roundhouse kick to the head) as he tries to get up. Shay is going to go back to his corner, but doesnt see Cabbie coming from behind and gets caught with a "Coach Crash" (spear). Cabbie yells some taunts down at a hurt Shay, but doesnt know that blockbuster is now standing behind him. When Cabbie turns around, Blockbuster sends Cabbie down with a hard spinebuster onto the floor. He then whips Cabbie into the steel steps, knocking them over. Cabbie is up against the ring post when blockbuster charges at him, but in a desperation attempt, Cabbie moves out of the way and Blockbuster rams right into the steel post actually moving the ring! The big man is hurt, but unbelievably starts to get up and looks to be about to continue his attack, when from behind, Abaddon executes a fireman's carry slam onto the remaining part of the steel steps sending waves of pain through the big man's body. Abaddon throws Blockbuster back into the ring and tags Cabbie who is made his way back to the corner. But instead of Cabbie entering the ring, he heads to the top rope as Abaddon lifts Blockbuster onto his shoulders!!! the crowd goes absolutely nuts as Cabbie goes flying off the top rope and they execute a Doomsday Device!!! Cabbie makes a cover, 1,2... Shay makes the save! But he then walks into a massive chokeslam from Abaddon. The crowd is really into it as Abaddon looks like he is going to attempt "Final Resting Place" one Blockbuster with Cabbie's assistance, but Sandra comes running out! Both Cabbie and Abaddon direct their attetion to her as she gets on the ring aprin and slaps Cabbie. He gets mad and starts to chase her around the ring which gives Blockbuster the chance to recover just enough to catch an unsuspecting Abaddon with a "Brooklyn Slam" (michinoku driver). On the outside, Cabbie finally catches Sandra, but is nailed with a steel chair by Shay before he can do anything to her. Things don't look good for Abaddon and Shay when Memnock comes running out. Sandra tries to warn Shay, but when Shay turns around to use the chair on Memnock, Memnock catches him with a superkick that send the chair into Shay's face. Sandra then slaps Memnock in the face which enrages Memnock. She tries to run, but Memnock grabs her by the hair, pulls her back and KISSES her before sending her into the guardrail. Blockbuster sees this and his eyes open with fury. He reaches over the top rope and grabs Memnock by the head, pulls him up executes "Times Square Ball Drop" (Powerbomb to the outside). He yells something down at the RWF Hall of Famer. This time it is Abaddon who up with a fury at what has just happened, and as Blockbuster turns to face him, Abaddon grabs him hard by the throat, lifts him up impressively high and sends him down hard with a chocklam on the huge monster. He quickly makes the cover, 1,2,3!!! Abaddon and Cabbie are the champions. Abaddon doesnt even bother to get the titles, he goes to his father, picks him up onto his shoulders and leaves. Cabbie grabs the titles and follows him out, playing to the crowd which is going nuts.
WINNERS AND NEW RWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Cabbie Klowaski & Abaddon

***MAIN EVENT***

World Title Match, Doctor's Orders
"Jihad" Johnny bin Laden vs. "Sensual" Benny LaBenze vs. Zeke

The lights go down as the barbed-wire wrapped steel cage begins to lower to the ring. A couple of puffs of fire shoot up to the heavens as the crowd goes completely apeshit! From the back, men run out with spools of barbed-wire and begin to wrap the ropes with it. Another four men enter and begin to strap trash cans full of weapons to each corner. "Fuck Tha World" by ICP blazes over the PA as The Patient comes out from backstage, behind him on forklifts are the three small cages containing the participants. The forklifts pull up to the ring on separate sides, then level out the cages with the ring as Patient presses a button on a remote that swings the doors open. The three men step out cautiously and into the ring. Patient blows a whistle as everyone exits the ring area and the cage drops a few more feet, securely into place. The three men eye each other up as several spotlights turn on and point to the top of the cage where a dirty, bloody and beaten Dr. Mangahaus lies almost motionless in a suspended cage 10 feet above the mat. The cage hits the floor and the flames go into full-effect! The men are staring each other down. Zeke looks to bin Laden who looks right back. Benny is looking back and forth at the other two. The bell sounds and the men jump to. JBL and Zeke lock up but nothing comes from it as Benny hits a quick drop kick to their knees. The two collapse to the ground and Benny quickly grabs Zeke. He lifts him up and whips him to the turnbuckle. As he starts to walk toward him, bin Laden nails him from the side with a HUGE clothesline flipping the rookie over. JBL is so much bigger then both these men, he’s got an advantage there. He lifts Benny and whips him to the ropes, delivering a HUGE Powerslam!! Benny sits up screaming in pain as blood drips down his back from the barbed wire ropes. JBL turns to Zeke, but gets caught with a Missile Dropkick to the head!! Zeke lifts them both up and slams their heads together to a huge POP!! He slides to the outside and holds his hands up, blocking the heat of the flaming cage. He reaches up and grabs one of the trash cans off the post. He dumps the contents onto the ground and throws the can into the ring. While he searches through the rubble, Benny and JBL get to their feet and exchange rights. They go back and forth until JBL starts to get the upper hand. He punches Benny into the corner, then grabs him and whips him to the opposite side where Zeke holds a Stop Sign!! Benny thinks quickly and dives down, baseball sliding into Zeke and sending him into the BURNING CAGE!! Zeke screams as the smell of his burning flesh permeates through the arena. Benny’s up quickly and he and JBL lock up. Zeke is out cold from the pain on the outside. JBL lifts Benny over with a arm drag and locks in the "Dream of the Almighty" (Cobra Clutch). He shakes Benny around in it like he’s a rag doll. JBL squeezes tighter and Benny looks to be losing consciousness. Just as Benny is about to be laid to the ground BAM!! Zeke nails bin Laden on the back with the trash can!! JBL winces in pain and turns to face Zeke and gets knocked to the ground with another shot, this time to the face. Zeke’s face is covered in char, but he’s going strong. Doc is above the cage cheering him on. Zeke lifts JBL and slams him down again. He sets Johnny up for an "Enigma" and as he swings it into the Stunner JBL pushes Zeke towards Benny who FLAPJACKS HIM OFF THE BARBED WIRE TOP ROPE!!!! The crowd gasps as Zeke's chest is cut pretty good by the razor sharp barbed wire and Benny gets up in time to get a kick to the gut and "Allah Bomb!" (Powerbomb) to the mat onto a Kendo stick!! Benny is writhing in pain as both Zeke and Benny are down again and the ref counts...1....2......3...4..Benny and Zeke are slow to move but Zeke is moving as if he'll be up by seven....5....6.....7.....8 It takes Zeke a second longer but he's up and his chest is bleeding slightly now. JBL begins to lay in bloody knifedge chops and then backs Zeke to the ropes and clotheslines him over the barbed wire top rope. Zeke yells in pain as he gets cut again on his back this time and lands outside the ring where the heat is intense from the fire. Benny is up now as JBL turns around and BAM Northern Lights Suplex with a Bridge. Benny then floats over, holding onto the move, and stands up with JBL hitting a second one!! Then he floats over again holding the move and pulls JBL in position, then HITS THE MOVE OVER THE TOP ROPE ON JOHNNY!!!! Johnny lands hard on his back and rolls into the cell, burning himself. He screams in pain getting away quickly knowing how burning feels. Both men are down and the ref begins a 20 count again..1...2....3....4..Neither man moving too much but Zeke doing ok...5....6.....7.....8...Zeke is up a moment and OH MY GOD NO! Benny gets a running start and dives through the ropes at Zeke but OH MY GOD ZEKE MOVES AND BENNY'S FACE GOES STRAIGHT INTO THE CELL FOR A SECOND AND BURNS HIM!!! The crowd is chanting "Holy Shit! Holy Shit!" as Benny rolls around on the floor in pain away from the cell. JBL rolls back into the ring in pain. Zeke rolls back in the ring as well as JBL barely makes it to his feet and as JBL gets to his feet Zeke hits a "Head Trauma" (Superkick) into JBL making JBL stagger back into a trashcan hard. Zeke sees this as his chance to win the match and goes for a "Bullet" (Full sprint into a front handspring into a dropkick like kick) BUT JOHNNY MOVES!!! Zeke kicks the trashcan in and lands on his head. All three men are down and the ref starts counting. Benny who's face has a slight burn mark on it now, rolls into the ring trying to get the pain and focus it out. The ref gets to 5, and Zeke and JBL are both getting back up. Benny runs at Zeke but Zeke hits a HUGE Snakeyes on Benny with Benny's face going off the Barbed Wire Top Rope!!!! Benny is screaming in pain as the crowd gasps at the move. JBL runs at Zeke who telegraphs the back body drop too quickly and JBL kicks him in the balls and hits "The Infidel Treatment" (Reverse Russian Legsweep) hard to the mat. Both Benny and Zeke are down as the referee begins to count again. He gets to 10 before Benny gets up and JBL begins pounding on him with right hands. JBL picks up a Kendo stick and as he does this Benny grabs a small yield sign which was in one of the cans. As JBL turns to get Benny..CRACK! Benny just destroys the sign over JBL's head and JBL goes back down. Zeke runs at Benny and BAM Benny uses Zeke's momentum to carry him over into a huge powerslam! Benny picks Zeke up and backs him into a corner, then begins laying in hard kicks to his midsection. Benny winds up for a huge haymaker punch but Zeke blocks it and waylays Benny with one. Benny staggers back and runs in at Zeke, but Zeke gets both feet up and knocks Benny off of his. Zeke walks over Benny and right into an overhead belly to belly from JBL! JBL is on his feet and the referee is counting...he gets to 14 before Benny begins to stir and gets to a knee as does Zeke. JBL picks Zeke up and goes for "The Infidel Treatment" Again but ZEKE REVERSES IT INTO A RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP OFF THE BARBED WIRE ROPES FOR BOTH MEN!!!!! The crowd is going apeshit as both men are down in pain and Benny runs across the ring to the corner where Zeke and JBL are both down. He jumps up onto the top rope to perch and you see him turn around and he screams "FUCK IT!" and HE DOES THE MOST INSANE TWISTING KAMIKAZE MOONSAULT EVER AND ZEKE AT THE LAST SECOND MOVES!!!! JBL had moved as well and Benny is in the middle of the ring in pain as the crowd is going nuts from this match. JBL reaches to try and get up using the ropes and screams in pain as he grabs the barbed wire. Zeke gets up and slides out of the ring, then begins searching beneath the apron of the ring. Benny is up and to get more momentum bounces off the barbed wire ropes on the opposite side of the ring...painful and he runs at Zeke and as Zeke's head and chest pop up Benny hits a HUGE BASEBALL SLIDE KNOCKING ZEKE INTO THE FLAMING CELL!!!! Zeke cries out in pain and falls to his knees. Benny picks him up quickly while he's still smoking and BOOM Overhead Northern Lights Suplex. Benny then gets up and JBL has slid outside the ring and from behind Benny BOOM "The Great Equalizer" (Release German Suplex) and Benny is down in a heap now too. JBL picks up the top portion of the ringsteps and then makes a pointing motion at Zeke as the crowd boos him incredibly. Zeke stands up to see JBL running at him with the side of the stairs but Zeke ducks the attempt and JBL puts the steps through the side of the cell!!!! The cell is broken open now and JBL begins fighting with Zeke. Benny staggeredly gets up and gets out of the small opening in the cell. He goes over to the announce tables and as he does this Zeke throws JBL's head into the ringpost. Zeke follows Benny out and as he gets to the Spanish announce table, Benny is pulling a sledgehammer out from behind the timekeeper's table. Zeke leaps up onto the Spanish announce table and gets a running start and OH MY GOD HE HITS A BULLET INTO BENNY KNOCKING HIM INTO THE CELL AND OFF IT AGAIN!!!! (Full sprint into a front handspring into a dropkick like kick)! Benny lays unconscious outside of the cage as Zeke makes his way back through the opening. He walks around the ring looking for JBL, when out of nowhere, JBL swings a TV MONITOR AND SMASHES IT OVER ZEKE'S HEAD!!! Where did he get that? Zeke crumples up as JBL yanks a table out from under the mat and sets it up in the ring. He rolls Zeke in, finally placing him on it. JBL goes for "September Skies" and NAILS IT!! HOLY SHIT!! Zeke and Johnny lay in the center of the ring while Benny is still on the floor outside of the cage. The ref begins counting as the crowd stamps their feet to encourage the champ to get up. Bin Laden is up at 17, and Benny is up at 18. LaBenze stumbles back into the cell and rolls into the ring, he sneaks up behind JBL and crotches him, NOTHING HAPPENS!!! JBL turns around and low-blows Benny, then nails him with "The Infidel Treatment". All three men are down, WAIT! Mangahaus is on his feet now! He's screaming down to Zeke to get up as the ref continues counting. Bin Laden is up, 16, if no one gets up, bin Laden wins the title! 18, 19, ZEKE IS UP!!! The fans are going insane as JBL charges at Zeke. Zeke sidesteps JBL who runs into the barbed wire rope! Head of steam by Zeke, BULLET! BULLET! BULLET! The ref counts again as Mangahaus jumps up and down! The cage lowers at 18, 19, 20!! ZEKE HAS DONE IT!!! The bell rings as the fans are all on their feet! Zeke opens the cage and Doc steps out to embrace the champ. Doc raises Zeke's arm, but WHAT THE HELL??? DOC LOCKS ZEKE'S ARM AND WITH THE OTHER HAND NAILS HIM WITH A 911!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!?!
WINNER AND STILL RWF WORLD CHAMPION: Zeke

Doc walks over and picks JBL up off of the mat, helping him to the back as Zeke lies in the middle of the ring, decimated... The camera cuts to the back where Patient and GAP stand flabbergasted. GAP turns and flips a table over, letting loose with a tirade of curse words. Patient just stands there shivering as veins bulge out on his shaved head.