John Stamos defeats Rainbow Brite in less than a minute when RB swoons over Stamos and lays down for him.

Televised Event

Hangover begins with the finish of the KOTF PPV, showing Johnny bin Laden laying Zeke out with the knucks to the back of the head and pinning him for the title. The fans throw trash into the ring as bin Laden is crowned the King, and Dan Gosnell and Mike Colley are going off about how this is the worst moment in RWF history. We then fade to a screen that shows the back of the RWF arena. The graphic in the top left corner of the screen says EARLIER TODAY.

The back of the arena comes to light as Patient is standing in the back with his metal detector awaiting the wrestlers' arrivals. He’s standing there, looking as imposing as ever and tapping his foot on the floor. The back door opens and Zeke pops through carrying a rather large bag.

Zeke: "Hey Brian, what’s up, chief?"

Patient: "Just doing the whole ‘Head of Security’ thing... Now, if you’ll just let me check your carry-all bag."

Zeke: "Sure thing."

Patient opens up the bag Zeke has strung over his shoulder, pulls out a chainsaw and places it on the table.

Patient: "And what’s this for?"

Zeke: "I need more locker room space, I’m taking out the wall next door."

Patient: "Cool."

Patient reaches in again and pulls out a lead pipe and 20-feet of steel chain. He eyes the items suspiciously as he holds them up in front of Zeke.

Patient: "And this?"

Zeke: "I was planning to use them to garrote Johnny bin Laden in the steel cage match tonight."

Patient: "Okay … just don’t try and bring that stuff through here again … good luck!"

A COUPLE HOURS LATER

Patient looks at his watch just as Johnny bin Laden comes through the door. He turns and throws him an evil look as bin Laden smiles.

Johnny: "Hello, security keeper. I trust my wives and I can pass?"

Patient: "Nope - your string of cunts are banned from the building, barring what you did to Cabbie at KOTF. You’re only allowed one.

Johnny: "Is that so? My main wife, then?"

Bin Laden snaps his fingers as several Arabic men move into place through the door. Patient puts two fingers in his mouth and lets loose with a shrill whistle that brings twice as many security personnel scampering to his aid.

Patient: "It seems you’re outnumbered this week, boy-o. Now, if you’ll step through the metal detector I’ll do my job and you can go do your thing with minimal bodily harm."

Grudgingly, bin Laden comes forward. The metal detector goes off and Patient quickly seizes Laden by the neck, then pulls him close and starts to scan him with the metal detector. The terrorists start to make a move, but Patient’s men pull out tasers and cans of mace and approach them menacingly. The men back off, knowing they'd be in a world of hurt if they went any further. Patient finally finds the spot in bin Laden’s beard and runs a comb through it, using his fingers. A pair of brass knuckles and a bag of white powder drop out. Immediately, bin Laden tries to scamper away as Patient grabs his robe and turban. A large RIIIIIIPPPPPP!!!! Is heard as the secuirty personnel start to laugh riotously.

Patient: "Oh! My God! That has to be the smallest kielbasa I’ve ever seen on a man! No wonder you don’t shower very often - I’d laugh every time you went by! Where are your balls at?"

Johnny bin Laden’s anger starts to rise, but hey, he’s naked. He points to Patient with his finger.

Johnny: "You will pay for this, infidel!"

Patient and the security force can only laugh as Laden covers his backside and genital area with two garbage can lids and walks off down the back halls of the arena in a huff. His wife tries to follow, but Zeke comes walking past.

Zeke: "I’ll take this one for a personal security search. We’ll check every cavity. Ever been with a man who doesn’t use a contact lens for a condom, baby?"

The wife begins to blush through the burqa. She appears abashed, then she strips down, revealing a deadly hot Arabic woman in a red teddy, with crotchless panties.

Wife: "Ride me American Stud! Fill me with hot black cock!"

The two run off to a nearby locker room as Patient starts to burst into tears from laughter.

Patient: "Don’t hurt her too much … you have a match later!"

The new opening for Hangover begins playing, showing all the established stars and key moments in their careers. Sick falls, chairshots, swerves... You name it, and the best is in there, along with panning shots of the wrestlers themselves. We come back to the arena where gold pyro shoots down from the rafters to the stage, followed by a huge explosion from the center. The arena is packed again as the fans are on their feet for the first Hangover. Signs are in abundance and vary in alliance from such things as "Zeke Got Screwed" to "Haaaaaave Mercy, Bring Back The Twins!" The Hangover music stops and is replaced with "Immortal" by Clutch. The green lights bathe the stage as Gordon A. Powell III steps out and is greeted with a huge pop from the fans. Gordon motions to cut the music and begins speaking.

"Welcome everyone to the first Hangover! Tonight will prove to be a monumental show, as we have a hell of a card lined up for you tonight. We have a four way elimination match for the Hardcore title, Carnage vs. Predator for the Intercontinental title, and a match that I predict will steal the show, Patient vs. Vanity in a grudge match from hell! A match I've decided to make NO DISQUALIFICATION" The crowd cheers as GAP finishes up. "And our main event, Zeke," HUGE POP, "versus Johnny bin Laden." Everyone goes sour at the mention of the champion's name. "Enough talk, LET THE ASSKICKING BEGIN!"

John Stamos vs. Jimmy Hitler

We're treated to a little bit of a flashback as "Everybody Wants To Rule The World" begins playing and John walks down to the ring, smiling huge for the crowd. They cheer on their favorite sitcom actor as he steps through the ropes and waves to the fans. German techno begins playing as John takes off his jacket and gets ready to wrestle. He waits for Jimmy Hitler to make his entrance, but no one is coming out. John paces back and forth, antsy and ready to show the fans that he's not just a pretty face, but Hitler is nowhere to be found. Someone finally steps out of the back, it's the Unknown Jobber! He's got a microphone?!?! I didn't know they let guys like him talk.

"Cut the music!!!" he yells through the paper bag over his head. "I had a match tonight for the first time in 3 YEARS, but it got taken away from me because my opponent didn't show. Well since he didn't show for either of us, John Stamos, the Unknown Jobber challenges YOU!" Stamos motions for UJ to bring it on. UJ runs down the ramp and slides into the ring. He rushes at Stamos, who sidesteps and takes him down with "What's Your Line?"(drop toe hold then sharp elbow into opponent's head). UJ screams like a bitch and quickly taps out when Stamos puts on a camel clutch. Stamos gets up shaking his head as the ref raises his hand and UJ rolls out of the ring.
WINNER: John Stamos

Ken Wild vs. Kave Blackwell

Ken is all business as he walks down to the ring while "Falling Away From Me" by Korn rips through the arena. He gets in the ring and waits in the corner for Kave. "Party Hard" cuts off Korn as Kave steps out from the back. He has a beer in each hand and is chugging them as he walks down the aisle. He stops to pour beer down a fan's gullet and have a picture taken before finally getting down to the ring. He steps in and shows off for the crowd, and when he turns around Wild is in his face. Kave mocks Wild and pretends to be scared right before Wild slaps the taste out of his mouth! Kave retaliates with a punch and the fight is on as both men trade punches. Wild proves too big and strong for Kave and forces him to the corner where he lays into him with punches to the head and a boot to the gut for good measure. Wild whips Kave to the opposite corner with enough force to send Kave to the mat after hitting the turnbuckle. Kave is up to his knees as Wild approaches. Wild lifts Kave into a fireman's carry and goes for "The Fate"(goes for DVD, but spins and drops him down), but Kave gets free and lands on his feet. He shoves Wild into the ropes and pulls him down into a school boy. 1, QUICK KICKOUT by Ken Wild. Kave gets on Wild with a few kicks before he can get up. Wild gets to his feet and Kave whips him to the ropes. Leapfrog by Kave and on the return he nails a dropkick to Wild's chin! Wild hits the mat and Kave follows up with a backflip splash and a cover. 1, 2, KICKOUT! Kave tries to whip Wild to the corner, but it's reversed. Kave stops himself by jumping up on the turnbuckle. He prepares to jump back, but Wild catches up quickly and shoves him off to the outside! Kave stumbles to the apron where Wild knocks him back again with a baseball slide. Wild jumps out of the ring and gets Kave up against the guard rail. He gives Kave a stinging chop that's given a "Whoo!" by the crowd. Wild goes for another one, but Kave ducks under and kicks Wild in the leg. Wild grabs his knee in pain as Kave grabs him and rolls him back into the ring. Kave climbs the turnbuckle again, waits for Wild to get up and leaps off with a big air cross body, but Wild CATCHES HIM! Wild lifts him over his head and this time NAILS him with "The Fate!" He covers Kave. 1, 2, KICKOUT! What resilience by the college kid! Wild can't believe it. He shoves the hair out of his face and picks Kave up. Wild whips Kave to the ropes and slaps his knee, then goes for the "Running Yakuza Kick," but Kave ducks and goes for a superkick. Wild sidesteps and hits "Your Fate Is Sealed"(Hardy setup, but instead of Twist of Fate, hits a stunner) out of nowhere!! Another cover, 1, 2, 3! This time he gets it. What a win for Wild!
WINNER: Ken Wild

Dr. Doom vs. Blockbuster vs. Shay

"Never Gonna Stop" By Rob Zombie hits and strobe lights begin to flash. Blockbuster comes out onto the stage to a decent pop with Sandra by his side and walks down to the ring with a purpose. He steps over the ropes, then leans in a corner awaiting his two opponents for this match. "Fat Lip" by Sum 41 hits and Shay comes out onto the stage. The crowd doesn't give much of a reaction as he's still relatively unknown. He runs down to the ring and slides in headfirst and immediately tries to begin slugging it to Blockbuster, but BB just grabs him by the throat and tosses him into the corner and begins working him over with fists and then "After Dark" by Agathodaimon hits and a sockless Dr. Doom comes running down to the ring and slides in. He goes straight to the corner and clubs Blockbuster's back with a double axe handle from behind as he's working Shay over. BB turns angrily and grabs Doom by the throat with both hands, throwing him into the corner with Shay and begins working him over with fists to the gut and chest. Finally BB winds up for a fist to Doom's face but Doom ducks it and it's a knockout punch to Shay as he goes down taking the blow and as BB turns around Doom kicks him in the gut and DDT's him to the mat and quickly tries to cover him. The referee slides into position, 1, 2, NO! BB kicks out with authority and Doom flies off him. Doom then helps BB up and tries to whip him into the ropes but BB holds his ground and pulls Doom into a devastating short-arm clothesline but then from behind Shay had gone to the top and executes the "Aerial Slam"(Missile Dropkick from the Top and Kicks His Opponent's Head on Both Sides) and hits BB in the back of his head with this move sending him down and Shay covers Doom, 1, 2, KICKOUT! Shay picks Doom up and whips him to the ropes. Doom ducks an attempted clothesline and goes back into the ropes, then tries for a flying forearm off the ropes but Shay ducks it and Doom knocks the referee down and under the bottom rope! The ref looks hurt as Doom gets up and looks over the top rope. Shay gets behind him and hooks him into a school boy and the crowd counts along, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5! Then Blockbuster HITS A LEGDROP ON DOOM'S LEG FOLDING HIM UP! Doom seems to be out of it and BB gets up as Shay does. Shay again tries to slug it to him but BB kicks Shay in the gut and the monster lifts Shay into the "Bensonhearst Bomb" (Spinning Powerbomb), twirling him around and driving him hard to the mat. He holds the Powerbomb, though, and lifts him into the air, this time hitting the "Times Square Ball Drop" (Powerbomb from inside the ring to the outside)! Shay lands hard on the outside of the ring and is completely out of it. The ref is stirring on the outside of the ring as BB goes over to pick Doom up, but suddenly, ZAPPPPP!!! Volts of electricity are heard flowing through Blockbuster's body as Doom uses the Taser on him. The crackling and screaming is too much for some to bear and little children turn away. Finally a very crispy BB lands on the mat and Doom slides the taser out of the ring. The referee slowly climbs back in the ring as Doom covers Blockbuster. 1, 2, 3!! Doom gets up as his music hits and celebrates in the ring, then realizes that when Blockbuster wakes up, he's gonna be extremely pissed off. Doom thinks the better of celebrating in the ring and hastily makes his retreat.
WINNER: Dr. Doom

Patient vs. Vanity ShowWood

The arena is bathed in an orange glow as "Fuck The World" pounds out of the PA, and the fans go apeshit as Patient walks down to ringside with Doc at his side. They both start grabbing weapons from underneath the ring and throw them in: chairs, trashcans/lids, a stop sign, couple of kendo sticks, a fire extinguisher. As Patient is hoisting a ladder into the ring, his music is cut off as the lights go out. "Vain man walking!" preceeds Vanity's version of "Red Devil." Gold and silver pyro goes off in every direction from the middle of the stage, and when it clears, Vanity is standing there wearing shades. He's got a cocky smile on his face, but not for long, as Patient runs through the smoke and takes him down on the stage! Patient lays into him with punches and then picks him up. Vanity tries to fight back, but Patient has control. He throws Vanity down the ramp and watches him roll all the way to the ring. Patient walks back down, watching Vanity closely all the way. Vanity gets up and rolls into the ring, prompting Patient to pick up the pace and jump in quickly. Patient grabs Vanity by the hair and pulls him off the mat, but he doesn't notice that Vanity has grabbed a trash can lid. Vanity swats backward with it and tattoos Patient in the nose. Patient staggers back and Vanity spins around with another lid shot. Vanity winds up and goes for another huge shot, but Patient ducks it and grabs Vanity in the "Vertigo"(swinging full nelson)! Vanity drops the lid and thrashes around trying to escape. Patient finally tires of this and throws Vanity through the ropes to the outside. He grabs a trash can and throws it outside at Vanity, BULLSEYE, right on the forehead as Vanity is getting up! Vanity falls back and leans against the guardrail for a few seconds. Patient exits the ring and fishes around underneath, finally pulling out a table. The crowd chants "TABLE TABLE TABLE" as Patient throws it into the ring. He climbs in the ring and as he sets up the table, Vanity scurries underneath the ring. Patient turns around to get Vanity, and stops when he notices he's not there. Doc looks around the ring and doesn't see him anywhere. Just then, Vanity rolls in the ring behind Patient, who turns around and gets smacked in the chin with a "Flashbulb"(superkick)! Patient is STILL STANDING! Vanity picks up a kendo stick and thwacks Patient over the head, making him stagger. Patient ASKS FOR MORE!!! Vanity rears back like he's gonna do it again, but tricks Patient and kicks him in the jewels. Patient falls to his knees holding his little guys as Vanity takes one last shot with the kendo stick, breaking it over his head. Vanity covers Patient, 1, 2, KICK OUT! Frustrated, Vanity picks Patient up off of the mat, he looks over at the table and decides to finish it early. He goes for "The End"(jumping spinning reverse powerbomb), but Patient roots himself and blocks it! He grabs Vanity's legs, spins around and whips him down through the table with a HUGE spinebuster! "RWF! RWF! RWF!" echoes through the arena. Patient covers Vanity for a 1 count, but stops and lifts Vanity up. He's not done yet.

The ref is clearing some of the debris from the ring while Patient walks over and grabs the ladder. Vanity begins stirring while Patient is setting the ladder up in the corner. Meanwhile, Doc is busy hooking up some handcuffs to the ropes. It looks like they are preparing some kind of torture rack for Vanity! Patient is setting up a chair as well, when Vanity gets to his feet. Patient turns around with the chair in hand and goes after Vanity. He swings and Vanity ducks it, coming back with a "Gut Check"(Tajiri kick to the stomach)! Patient doubles over and Vanity backs up, then lunges forward with another "Flashbulb," this time sending Patient to the mat. He picks Patient up and whips him into the ladder! Vanity runs up quickly and starts to put the handcuffs on Patient. He gets one on the left wrist, and as he goes for the other, Doc grabs him from ringside. Vanity fights back and nails Doc with a hard left, dropping him to the floor. As Vanity turns around, "911"(heart punch)!!! Vanity is rolling around on the mat holding his chest as Patient tries to free himself from the handcuffs. The fans are chanting "Patient Patient" as he desperately pulls on the cuffs. Vanity slowly gets to his knees and grabs the stop sign as he rises to his feet. As he turns around, Patient SNAPS THE CHAIN ON THE CUFFS and drives his fist into the stop sign and Vanity! Vanity stumbles back and knocks the referee out of the ring. Doc calls to Patient and hoists a table over the ropes. Patient sets the table up as Doc finds another one and lifts it up. Patient sets this one up next to the other, then starts piling weapons on top of it! Chairs, trashcans and whatever else he can find. He then walks over to where Vanity is starting to move, and as Patient reaches down, Vanity grabs him by the beltline and pulls him off balance making him choke himself on the top rope! Vanity lifts Patient up and drops him, racking him on the top rope. He runs off the opposite ropes and jumps up, hitting "The Whiplash"(running crescent kick over the top rope) and both men spill to the outside!

The referee is up and counting both men as they lay on the floor. Vanity gets up and rolls Patient into the ring, then climbs the turnbuckle. "Now I'm gonna take this unpretty puke out!" He jumps off with a frog splash, but PATIENT MOVES!!! Vanity is clutching his stomach in agony as Patient sits up and the crowd pops huge. Patient grabs Vanity by the hair and drags him over to the corner where the table is set up with all the weapons on top. He props Vanity up on top and climbs up, then pulls him up so they are both standing. Patient slaps the goozle on Vanity and it looks like he's gonna go for the "Bag Em 'n' Tag Em"(two-handed face first chokeslam), but Vanity manages to put a heel in Patient's crotch as he lifts him up and both men fall off and through the tables!! "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" The ref is counting both men as they lie motionless in the midst of all the junk. Dan Gosnell remarks, "It looks like a damned train wreck out here!" 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...8. The referee calls for the bell as both men are out cold.
WINNER: DOUBLE KO

"Sensual" Benny LaBenze vs. Danielle Brisbane vs. Cabbie Klowaski vs. "The Innovator" Terry Williams
Hardcore Title Match, 4-Way Elimination

Benny LaBenze struts out to the stage and dances around, making suggestive movements with his kendo stick as "Sexy Boy" plays. He gets in the ring and gyrates some more before taking a seat on one of the turnbuckles. Then "Just a Girl" hits the arena and the women pop for their hero Danielle Brisbane. Benny ogles her as she jumps over the ropes. She looks at him in disgust as his tongue is practically touching the ring. Next out is Terry Williams. Suicidal is pushing a shopping cart full of weapons, curving back and forth like a child all the way down to the ring while Terry walks down after. When they get to the ring, Terry looks at Benny and pulls a trash can lid and a kendo stick out of the cart. He gets in the ring and starts to go after Benny, but the ref holds him back, making him wait for all the participants to be in the ring. "Another One Rides The Bus" begins playing and the fans go crazy for Cabbie Klowaski. He looks totally intense and runs straight for the ring. As soon as he enters, the bell rings and Terry goes after Benny, who's swinging the stick like a madman, just trying not to get hurt. Terry uses the lid as a shield and smacks Benny with his kendo stick. Benny yells out as he gets hit again and jumps out of the ring with Terry chasing after. Danielle walks right up to Cabbie and gets in his face, but Cabbie is not taking her seriously. He licks his lips as he mocks her, and she gets pissed, then slaps him like a red-headed stepchild! Laughs are heard from the crowd and Cabbie suddenly gets serious. He clotheslines Brisbane down, nearly taking her head off, then picks her up and throws her out of the ring. Benny runs back into the ring, trying to get away from Terry, and ends up running right into Cabbie. Cabbie punches Benny who turns around only to get punched by Terry. Both men play tag with Benny, knocking him senseless back and forth between each other. Suicidal throws a trash can into the ring and Terry puts it over Benny's torso. Suicidal then throws a chair to Terry and he whacks the trash can with it, knocking Benny to the mat. Cabbie and Terry are laughing their asses off as they high five each other. Working together??!?! Cabbie turns around as Danielle jumps off of the top turnbuckle and takes him down with a flying head scissors! She goes after him, but Terry stops her with a kick to the gut. He lifts her up for a powerbomb, but she floats over and takes him down with a sunset flip. 1, 2, KICKOUT! Cabbie runs off of the ropes and comes at Danielle with a "Coach Crash"(spear) but Danielle moves out of the way and Cabbie runs down Terry! Cabbie is shocked! He gets up pissed off and goes after Danielle who kicks him square in the nuts. Cabbie doubles over and Danielle goes for the "Tragic Kingdom"(rolling powerbomb), but can't lift him up. Cabbie stands up and takes Danielle down with a high angle spinebuster! He picks her up and drops her with a "Driven Over The Edge"(inverted piledriver), and covers her for the 1, 2, 3! Danielle is eliminated. Terry gets up, dazed from Cabbie's attack, he looks around and see Suicidal yelling something to him from the outside. "What??!?" He doesn't realize what Suicidal is saying until it's too late. Benny is up behind him and lifts Terry up on his shoulders. Terry tries to punch his way out, but Benny lets him go with an Electric Chair Drop right onto a trashcan!!! Benny rolls him over and covers him. 1, 2, 3!!! Cabbie tries to knock Benny off at the last second, but is unsuccessful. Terry Williams is eliminated. Cabbie whips Benny to the ropes and back drops him. Benny gets back up and Cabbie goes for a clothesline, but Benny ducks and superkicks Cabbie out of the ring! Benny climbs the turnbuckle and plays to the crowd before attempting a Shooting Star Press to the outside, but Cabbie ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! Benny hits the floor with a loud smacking sound, prompting Mike Colley to speculate on the possibility of some broken bones. Cabbie covers him, 1, 2, LaBenze KICKS OUT! No way! Cabbie chucks Benny into the ring, frustrated as hell that this rookie is giving him such a hard time. He fumbles under the ring until he pulls out a sledgehammer! This could get serious. Cabbie rolls into the ring and readies the sledge. As Benny gets up, Cabbie rushes him and goes for a gut shot, but Benny moves out of the way and Cabbie loses his balance. Benny grabs the sledge and they both struggle for possession of it. Cabbie's grip slips and the head of the hammer smacks Benny in the face while the handle drives straight into Cabbie's groin!!! Cabbie hits the mat holding his sack and Benny, dazed, falls forward landing on Cabbie. The ref counts 1, 2, 3! Cabbie kicks out a half a second too late as Benny gets the biggest win of his career!
WINNER AND NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION: "Sensual" Benny LaBenze

Carnage vs. Predator
Intercontinental Title Match

"Schism"(String Version) by Tool hits and green pyro goes up on the stage and around the RoboTron. Predator comes walking out onto the stage to the cheers from the crowd and OH MY GOD FROM BEHIND CARNAGE GRABS HIM AND RUNS TOWARDS THE EDGE OF THE STAGE AND THROWS PREDATOR THROUGH THE TABLES AND EQUIPMENT BELOW!!!! The crowd oooooh's and chants "RWF RWF RWF" after such a insane and dasterdly deed. Carnage looks down with the green aura lights still on the stage and then the normal lighting comes up and Carnage makes his way down the ramp as EMT's and RWF officials tend to Predator. Carnage gets off the stage and goes to where Predator is. He picks Predator up and drags him in a headlock to the ring! Predator is not in any shape to be wrestling now! Carnage rolls Predator into the ring and gets on the apron, then steps into the ring himself. The ref has no choice but to call for the bell to start the match. The bell sounds and the match is underway with Carnage beginning to stomp the living hell out of a very hurt Predator. Carnage picks Predator up and whips him to the ropes. Predator is almost totally out of it doesn't make it there. He lands on his face and slides under the bottom rope. Carnage walks over to that side of the ring and goes through the ropes, then grabs Pred and whips him into the steel ring steps! Predator screams in pain and lands on his back and holding his shoulder now. His face and lips have blood on them and he looks to be in horrible shape. "Somebody stop this match! This isn't right!" screams Dan Gosnell. Carnage picks Predator up and rolls him into the ring, then gets into the ring himself. He leans down to pick up Pred and Predator rolls him up, 1, 2, NO! Carnage kicks out at the last instant, nearly losing the match after dominating Predator, cheap attack and all. Carnage seems even more pissed off now and lifts Predator up into the "Carnage Driver"(Reverse Death Valley Driver). RWF officials and EMTs are waiting at ringside to get Predator out of there immediately once the match is over. Carnage covers him for the 1, 2, 3. Almost fundamental after the beating that Carnage gave him. The referee reaches through the ropes and is handed the Intercontinental Championship. He hands it over to Carnage and raises his arm in the air as the crowd boos him unmercifully. He smirks and leaves the ring as the EMTs slide into the ring to get Predator out of there and to the hospital. Carnage gets to the top of the ramp as "Quiet Storm" has been playing for a good 30 seconds. He holds the IC Title high in the air with both hands and the crowd boos him even louder as he walks backstage with it.
WINNER AND NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION: Carnage

Backstage, Gordon A. Powell is giving Zeke a pep talk as the ring crew sets up the cage.

Gordon: Like I said Zeke, tonight is your night! This is your night to be a hero, not just for the city of Juno, but for the entire country. Tonight is your night to prove that you aren't just some wet behind the ears rookie, you're a champion!

Zeke: You damn right!!! I'm gonna go out there and kick Pee-Wee bin Laden's ass!

Patient, Doc and Cabbie walk up and the crowd in the arena goes crazy when they see all of their favorite faces on the RoboTron.

Patient: You have nothing to worry about Zeke. I've combed the entire building. None of bin Laden's people could have made it in here. Just get out there and focus on bin Laden. Leave the rest to us.

Cabbie: Break a leg my-man!

Everyone gives Cabbie a serious look of concern.

Cabbie: Erm, I mean break HIS legs my-man!

They lighten up as the scene ends and we're back in the arena.

Zeke vs. "Jihad" Johnny bin Laden
World Title Match, Old School Cage

Outkast thumps through the arena as Zeke comes out dancing to the music. He's got a totally confident aura about him as he walks down to the ring to a HUGE pop from the crowd. They really love this legacy member of the roster. Zeke climbs up the cage instead of taking the door, then pauses at the top as cameras flash all throughout the arena. He climbs down the other side and jumps down to the apron as his music stops and the Islamic chanting begins. The crowd boos and many threaten to throw things at the World Champion. He steps out onto the stage sans wife and looks out at the fans. He spits on the stage and then walks down to the ring, taking his time to step through the door to the cage. The two men stand in the ring staring each other down. Johnny doesn't look too anxious to get started, but he doesn't have a choice as Zeke tackles him to the mat and begins pummeling him. Johnny manages to shove him off, and both men stand up. Zeke is a little faster and takes Johnny down with a clothesline. He picks Johnny up off of the mat and whips him into the cage. Johnny hits the mat holding his back as the crowd goes NUTS! Zeke grabs Johnny by the back of his turban, but gets thumped in the nuts, dropping him to his knees. Johnny grabs Zeke from the ground and slams him back down. He lifts him up again and whips him to the ropes. He tries to grab him for a powerslam, but Zeke counters with a beautiful head scissor takedown. Zeke stands up still holding his balls. He grabs bin Laden and tries to go for an Enigma (Dragon Sleeper swung to a Stunner), but bin Laden gets a quick punch to his throat. That one hurts Zeke a lot as he falls to the ground coughing. Johnny, being much larger than Zeke, lifts him off the ground and slams him down with an "Allah Bomb". The crowd is dead as the champion begins to climb the steel cage. He almost makes it to the top and turns back around to look where Zeke is. He's not in the ring. Johnny turns around the other way just in time to see Zeke jump from the top rope and dropkick him to the ground!! The crowd goes apeshit!! Zeke is pumped up. He lifts Johnny and whips him to the ropes, catching him with a "BlackBreaker"(Power Slam to Back Breaker). He runs to the cage and begins to climb. Before he can get far, Carnage runs down to ringside wielding a chair. He jumps up and whacks Zeke's fingers with the chair. Zeke yells out in pain and falls back into the ring. Carnage stands there chuckling and is completely oblivious to Cabbie Klowaski. Cabbie hits Carnage from behind with a "Coach Crash"(Spear)!! He gets on top of Carnage and starts beating his face in. Meanwhile, in the ring, bin Laden is up and pulls Zeke up into a waistlock, then connects with "The Great Equalizer." The fans boo Johnny as he confidently walks over and tells the ref to open the door. Looks like he's gonna take the easy way out. He leans down to step out of the ring, and as he goes through the ropes, from out of the crowd comes Kave Blackwell. He reaches his hand out to Johnny, to help him out of the ring. Johnny smiles and takes Kave's hand. Kave pulls Johnny forward and with the other hand GRABS THE DOOR AND SMASHES IT INTO BIN LADEN'S FACE!!! Johnny flies back into the ring clutching his nose. Kave parties with the fans as he makes his way out back through the crowd. Meanwhile, Cabbie and Carnage are both fighting their way to the back as well. Zeke starts to climb the cage once again, the fans cheering him all the way. Johnny is laying on the mat, hands still over his face as a little bit of blood can be seen trickling through his fingers. Zeke reaches the top and puts a leg over. This is it, Zeke's gonna win! All of the sudden, someone in a burqa drops down from the rafters. WHO THE HELL??? Whoever it is, he pulls a lead pipe out and pops Zeke in the head! Zeke teeters a bit, until the mystery man hits him again and he falls down to the mat! MY GOD WHAT A FALL! Zeke is in a bad way as the mystery man climbs down the cage and runs over to bin Laden. He helps Johnny up and wipes a little of the blood off of his face, then gets him to the cage where he starts climbing. Out from the back, it's Patient!!! He runs down to ringside and shoves the ref out of the way. Patient quickly flips the latch and opens the door, then scrambles in after the mystery man and chases him around the ring. The man is a little faster and manages to make it out through the open door. Patient checks Zeke to make sure he's okay, then looks up at the mystery man who is backing up the ramp. He pulls the mask off and reveals himself to be VANITY SHOWWOOD!!! He's laughing hysterically as he taunts Patient. The Patient stands up and ducks through the doorway. Vanity sees this and turns around to run away. When he gets to the curtain, a foot meets his chin before he can get through, and knocks him to the floor. GAP steps out from behind the curtain and straigtens his jacket as the fans are on their feet cheering! Johnny has made it to the top of the cage and is getting ready to climb down, then stops and looks down at Zeke. He changes his mind and stands up on the cage. He tightens his turban then leaps off into Allah's hands with "September Skies!" Allah moves his hands at the last second as Zeke rolls out of the way and Johnny does a faceplant on the mat!!! "OW, that's gotta hurt!" Mike Colley exclaims happily. Johnny and Zeke are both motionless on the mat. A referee on the outside starts counting them down. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, both men begin stirring. 6, Zeke is staggering to his feet and Johnny is up to his knees. Zeke looks over at Johnny who is beginning to climb the cage. This is his chance! He gets a running start and flies at Johnny with a "Bullet"(full sprint into a front handspring into a dropkick like kick) and connects, breaking the cage open!!! The cage swings forward and Johnny lets go, falling to the floor below! The ref has no choice and calls for the bell. Zeke is sitting in the ring in total shock as the referee reluctantly hands the belt to Johnny bin Laden and raises his hand as the victor.
WINNER AND STILL RWF WORLD CHAMPION: "Jihad" Johnny bin Laden

The blood that runs down bin Laden's face is mixed with tears as he holds the belt close to himself and praises Allah for his blessings. Zeke stares down Johnny as he shakes his head in disbelief. Dan Gosnell's voice echoes as the show fades to copyright, "Zeke had him beaten, what the hell happened?!?!?!"