Hazardous Materials Information SystemMaterial Safety Data Sheet 3721 - Chemical Analysis of a WomanElement WomanSymbol WO2 Discoverer Adam Atomic Mass Accepted as 55kg but acceptable variance from 45 to 225kg Occurrences Copious quantities in all urban areas with trace elements elsewhere PHYSICAL PROPERTIES Surface covered in film of powder or paint and sweet smelling chemicals (self applied) Boils at nothing Freezes for no apparent reason Melts under special treatment Found in various grades from virgin material to common ore Yields to pressure gently applied to selected points CHEMICAL PROPERTIES Has an affinity to Gold, Silver, Platinum and most precious stones Absorbs large quantities of expensive substances May spontaneously combust without reason or warning Softens and takes on a rosy glow when soaked in hot water Activity greatly increases following saturation in alcohol Considered to be the most powerful money reducing agent known to man COMMON USES Highly ornamental given the right funding Can be a great aid to relaxation Can be great biological partners to men...Please see biology paper 17693. Can be great companions to male species (and competitors to female species if in biological competition) TESTS Pure specimen turns bright red when discovered in natural state Turns green when placed alongside a more perfect specimen HAZARDS...!!! Highly dangerous unless handled by experts Possession of more than one specimen can be a legal offence Highly addictive nature can turn man into quivering wreck totally devoid of funding Once addiction has taken place there is no cure |
