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Sometimes, life is confusing.
Be Patient.
Hi everyone..(anyone). as you may have noticed by now, I do not keep up as well as UtenaSama at these Zettais. Either she enjoys them more than i do, or i don't enjoy them enough, or take enough advantage of them.. but i never really was able to keep up with a journal once i started it, even when i was little and all my little friends wrote diligently in their journals everyday.. oh well. not that this is a journal, but in many ways its similar. (biggest difference being i am actually allowing people to read my private thoughts o.o)
but anyway, thats not really what i want to write about.. mostly what i want to get out there is.. well, i guess, that life is confusing and hard. and now that i think about it, probably 3/4 of the people on the planet are worse off than me, which makes me feel even worse about saying that -.- oh well. my confusion stems from the internet. "thats where it all started". seriously. what do you do when you want to be in two places at once? I need to finish school, but i want to be with my boyfriend. i also want money, but i have no patience(and im addicted to ebay). therefore i am racking up a credit card bill, and unless i get a job pretty damnity soon, my parents are going to have to bail me out ~.~ so what is wrong with me?
it's probably largely a lack of patience. i need patience to finish school up; then i can be with my boyfriend. I need patience to get a job, and to wait to spend money until then. blah, blah, blah... another reason i do not write zettais(or journal entries): i am boring. i bore myself.
When i look back at what small amount of diary-writing i've done, i get annoyed at my past self, and want to erase a large portion of what i wrote, and edit like crazy. But i don't, because then it wouldnt be your past self's writing, it would be the present's, and then you past would all be a fabrication.. bleh! so i leave the innane babbling to itself, and avoid reading it.
I dont keep journals anymore. I keep a quote book.
I feel that that better captures my moods and feelings than a journal for some reason. When i look back and read the quote book, or when i page through it to search for something, i can tell at what point in time (usually) that i wrote the quote, and why. around the time i met my boyfriend, i started putting all these mushy quotes in there. get it? ^^;
I have been in quebec for two months, and i go back home friday. I have probably spoken 6 words of french the entire time ive been here. maybe thats bad, maybe it isnt, but i have this irrational fear of speaking it in front of those whose native language it is. i have no trouble in french classes.. go figure. (just thought i'd mention that, because its another part of the "life is hard" thing for me)
And the original UK Harry Potter books are better than the American versions! Really!

I can't help it.. I'm a Harry Potter fan.

thanks for listening. chrono cross is an awesome game, btw... Legend of Dragoon, cool as it was, cant touch it.. and thats saying a lot, because Dragoon was my favorite game before we got Chrono Cross.