This is a very interseting list simply because many of us can relate to it!

THE CRAP LIST

THE "GHOST" CRAP

The kind where you feel that CRAP come out, see CRAP on the toilet
paper, but there's no CRAP in the bowl.

THE "CLEAN" CRAP

The kind where you feel CRAP come out, see CRAP in the bowl, but
there's no CRAP on the toilet paper.

THE "WET" CRAP

You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end
up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you
don't ruin your underwear with those dreadful skid marks.

THE "BRAIN HEMORRAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE" CRAP

You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and
practically have a stroke.

THE "SECOND WAVE" CRAP

This CRAP usually happens when you've finished, you pants are up to your
knees, and suddenly realize you have to CRAP some more.

THE "CORN" CRAP

No explanation neccessary.

THE "LINCOLN LOG" CRAP

The kind of CRAP that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down
without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.

THE "NOTORIOUS" CRAP

The kind of CRAP you have in the morning after a long night of
drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom
of the toilet bowl after you flush.

THE "GEE I REALLY WISH I COULD" CRAP

The kind where you want to CRAP but, even after straining your guts
out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.

THE "POWER DUMP" CRAP

The kind that comes out so fast that you barely get your pants off
before it starts.

THE "LIQUID PLUMBER" CRAP

The kind of CRAP that is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows
all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from The
Lincoln Log CRAP).

THE "SPINAL TAP" CRAP

The kind of CRAP that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got
to be coming out sideways.

THE "PORRIDGE" CRAP

The type of CRAP that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on
coming. You have two choices (a) flush and keep going, or (b) risk it
piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.

THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" CRAP

When you drop lots of cute, little, round ones that look like marbles
and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.

THE "WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE" CRAP

Also sometimes referred to as the "TOXIC DUMP". Of course you don't
warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand
innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging
and gasping for air.

THE "I JUST KNOW THERE'S A TURD STILL DANGLING THERE" CRAP

Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to
drop off, because if you wipe it now, it's going to smear all over the
place.

THE "I'VE JUST DIED" CRAP

The type of CRAP that feels like you're giving birth to a porqupine
out of your asshole.