Johnny Longbow(bone) Stew!
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Despite how bad Track of the Moonbeast was, that stew sounded pretty darn
good. We here at MST3K:The Project Labs, decided to whip some up, approximating
Johnny's listed ingredients!
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So, here goes. Ready everyone? Ask the question!

JOHNNY, WHAT'S IN THIS STEW!

[Deep Native-Accented Voice]
Oh...

Corn...(One-half can corn, not creamed).
Green Pepper... (One-half green pepper, chopped into small peices)
Chicken... (One-half package of pre-cooked chicken breast, or one and one-half
cups of ground chicken. Chop it if it's not already chopped.)
Chili... (One can Chili Con Carne, or Plain Chili, but not just Baked Beans.)
(Sigh) Onions...(One-half small onion, chopped finely)

Now, mix the corn with the chili, and heat it on medium-high heat in a
saucepan until it begins to bubble a little. (Stir it a LOT, or that sucker
will stick to the bottom.) Now, add the chicken, green pepper, and (sigh)
onions. Cook that for about twenty minutes to an hour, and POW! You have 
Johnny Longbow(bone) Stew! If you're not in the mood for stew, top it with
melted cheese or nacho sauce, mix in, and you've got a great party dip.
And, if you're a real stickler for MST3K accuracy, you can add Mike's 
suggested ingredient, hair(preferably undandruffed hair). But I wouldn't 
recommend it.
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                        Dr. Z's "Blood Waters" Graveyard

Ah, my graveyard recipe! You are small and fizzy, but soon...you will...ATTACK!
Here's a recipe for a graveyard(soda-pop mixture) inspired by THE BLOOD WATERS
OF DR. Z. Mix some up, it's great for drinking while PLOTTING REVENGE, ON YOUR
FRIENDS.
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(All can be substituted with diet pop, for those of you who feel that you look
a bit too much like Joe Don Baker, these days.)

12 oz=One Can
6 oz=1/2 Can

6 oz. of Mountain Dew, or other non-orange citrus soda.(I use Mtn. Dew)
12 oz. of any brand Strawberry or Strawberry-Kiwi pop, or even Big Red.(I
use Shasta Kiwi-Strawberry)
6 oz. of any brand Root Beer. (I use A&W)
6 oz. of any brand Cola. (I use Pepsi) 

Mix it up in a large empty two-liter pop bottle, or a 48 oz. fountain cup
(I know it's only 36 oz. of pop, but it's easier to mix that way.) And there
you have it. Oh, and if the pop wasn't cold, be sure to add ice, or put it in
the fridge for a while. Nothing makes you sick like tepid Blood Waters. 
(Disclaimer:We are not liable if you turn into a flesh-eating Sargasm monster
after drinking this beverage. But if you do, send us a picture, that'd be 
cool!)
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                               Mike Pipper's Sandwich
(Our conception of what might've been in that sandwich Troy found in Pipper's
shack.)Here he his, that culinary genius from The Final Sacrifice, Mike 
Pipper!

Oooooooooooooooooooooooo! I hates them recipes! Except this one, for my Pipper
Sandwich! Siddown.          
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Now, to understand Sartoris, you must know about my sammich...


2 slices toasted rye bread
3 slices jerked Thomas MacGregor(Chances are, you don't have any jerked 
Thomas MacGregor, so use roast beef.)
1 slice goulda cheese(you can substitute swiss or cheddar)
1 thin slice of tomato
2 slices canadian bacon(eh?) 

Deli Mustard
Mayonaise

Stack on the ingredients, and spread the mustard and mayonaise on the
bread with a knife. Add hair, rat droppings, live fleas, or muskrat meat, for
that extra Mike Pipper flavor. 
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                     Joe Don Baker's Final Justice Sundae

Here's our recipe for an EXTREMELY fattening ice cream confection, for you 
Joe Don Baker wannabes. You think you could do better? Go ahead on. 
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2 scoops "Death by Chocolate" (To make Death by Chocolate if you can't buy it,
add chocolate chunks and chocolate-covered peanuts to regular chocolate ice 
cream).

2 scoops Rocky Road(To make Rocky Road, mix almonds, peanuts, and Marshmallow
Creme with regular chocolate, if you can't buy it.) 

3 scoops Mint Chocolate Chip(Add mint extract or finely crushed altoid mints,
green food coloring, and chocolate chips to Vanilla, to make mint, if you
can't buy it.)

2 scoops Vanilla 

1/3 cup chopped peanuts
1/3 cup multi-colored sprinkles
1 cup "Malta" Milk Balls(Like Whoppers brand milk balls)
1 cup chocolate syrup
1 small jar/can maraschino cherries

Now, take all of the ice cream, put it together in a salad bowl, and mush it 
around a bit. Then, add the peanuts, the sprinkles, the milk balls, and the
syrup over them. To top it off, dump on the cherries. Now, if you're Joe Don,
just eat, or if you're a normal human being, share it with a friend or two, 
or three.