The petals on the floor smudged under the mighty boot of the hero. He muttered his discontent at such opulence, he had heard the king lived to excessive measures and he was not at all keen on finding out just how the dilettante monarch treated his guests, especially the pretty ones. Soft chords of a lute floated in through the corridors which Asgarth strode, giggles of satisfaction danced around the tapestry covered walls. The slaughter in the tavern now seemed a distant memory, though the blood still soiled the valiant one's loincloth, and the sweat still glistened on his bare arms.

Silk curtains caressed his face as he entered the king's personnel chambers, red, gold and the deepest purple cascaded from the domed ceiling, which rose magnificently capturing the mighty one's gaze and raising his neck to the dizzy heights above. Losing his concentration in the moment Asgarth lost all sense of himself, he was only returned to reality as a gaggle of veiled, sparsely clad nubile young women faintly brushed past him, making his interest rise. Their aromatic perfume seemed to speak the words that Asgarth had urged to hear since his union with Strum, the words of love, or, failing that, vigorous fornication.

Herding these seraphins was an oiled eunuch, no older than Asgarth, but with a childlike innocence and demeanour that Asgarth lost long ago in the tall grasslands of his homeland. The evocation of such dear and painful memories brought a tear to the mighty one's strong eye.

"Surely this place must be owned by the most beautiful one in third binary system, for it has seduced me by its glory".

"Good, then I won't have to do the job myself", came a soft and lucid voice from the silken curtains beyond.

Asgarth turned to place where the angelic voice was conceived, rushing to the curtains longing to see the vision which produced this most wonderful ejaculation, lest like a shooting star it should vanish before he came. What he saw however shocked him, disturbed him, made him wish he had covered up his more attractive areas in a full length hessian sack, but most of all sickened him to the pit of his hero's stomach.

Lain out in front of him was the king, sprawled across the velvet sofa, which bent beneath his enormous weight. For the king was a hideous, fat, odious worm. Ripples of fat reverberated up and down his body, and a steady and constant stream of saliva poured from bursting lips where his lolling tongue hung, as if exhausted by some vigorous exercise, Asgarth would wager all the Furcha stone in the troll's mine up in the Kilala mountain peaks that this was a fair estimation.

"I don't normally bugger heroes....well not before I've eaten anyway", said the loathsome worm as he placed a struggling and screaming Fla-Fla bird into his gaping orifice. "Right", said the colossal pervert "I'm all full up, and soon my dear, dear Asgarth so will you be". The king clapped his chubby hands in glee at this appalling joke, giving him the appearance of a pleased toddler, although a dirty, filthy, disgusting toddler of around forty rotations of the burning Tiramu star, who was a pervert, obviously, that kind of toddler. Asgarth allowed himself an inner smile at this analogy.

Unsheathing his mighty weapon, which drew a smile from the drooling mouth of the corrupt king, Asgarth stood proud and erect, playing with his enormous point, passing it from hand to hand. "You are much mistaken you abhorrent dog, only many women will ever know the pleasures the contents of my loincloth has to offer, I'll run you through-"

"Ooohhhh, I do hope so"

"What? I was in the middle of something there?"

"Heeeee I wish it was me you were in the middle of"

"Sorry, I'm not getting any of this"

"Oh I'll hope I get some"

"I'm not going to put up with this"

"I know something you can put up"

"That's just filth your coming out with"

"Oh I came out long ago ducky"

"That's a bit of a tenuous one wasn't it?"

"That's what I'd like to happen, sex times ten u and us"

"That's a bit weak as well"

"Oh, It won't be a bit of a week with me and you pretty one"

Asgarth then suddenly realized the king's plot to bore him into submission by tedious double entendre.

"You fiend, why have you tried to take up my time?" demanded Asgarth, thrusting his weapon to the gullet of the king. Frightened by the Hero's conquering of his camp plan to have his way with him, he gave way and blubbed his ulterior motive.

"Oh, I was told to, commanded to, by the Dark Prince, oh he'll have his wicked way with me now-"

"Silence!" shouted Asgarth, anticipating the awful pun that was sure to follow. "So the Dark Prince, is thwarting my plan to find the shining magic thing, THEN LET IT COMMENCE DARK PRINCE."

Slashing the dirty pervert across the expanse that was his midriff, Asgarth turned on his heel and strode out of the chambers, leaving the pervert's intestines to fall on the floor like fat snakes.

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