Mike gave Michelle's shoulder a sympathetic pat. She looked to him and smiled her appreciation. She glanced to the young man on stage. "Why is it that everybody whose mother forced them into music lessons thinks that they are the ONLY ones who can play Lady of Spain?" This was already the fifth rendition the auxiliary had heard and the day was not even half over.
For Michelle, Liz Hochrader and JoAnne DeSoto the day had started out at 7:00 a.m. It was time for the annual talent show for fire fighters and their families. Michelle had to hold auditions and Liz and JoAnne offered to assist with the fiasco. It was amazing the "talent" that came out of the woodwork for these events.
"I still think that you and Mike should emcee the show," Liz said over the crash of the young man trying to case his instrument. "You two were hysterical as Sonny and Cher last year."
"Whose son was that?" JoAnne asked.
Michelle checked her clipboard. "That was Craig Brice's brother. And I hired someone to emcee this year." She responded to both.
Paula McConnike arrived on the scene. She handed Michelle an invoice. "Here's the bill for the flyers. What did I miss?"
Mike sat on the table. "Five accordion players, four tap dancers, three magicians, two headaches..."
"And a partridge in a pear tree," Michelle sang sarcastically.
"THAT good?" was all Paula could say.
"Hired someone?" JoAnne was taken aback. "You never mentioned it before."
Mike smirked. "She wanted it to be a surprise." He suppressed a rueful laugh.
Liz looked to Mike. "What's so funny?"
Mike shook his head.
Liz folded her arms. "Michelle, what did you do?"
"I just booked a comedian to emcee the show," she answered innocently.
This comment sent Mike into a gale of laughter. Michelle threw him a stern look. "Mike, you're making everyone suspicious."
Paula eyed Mike. "Whoever it is must be funny." She paused. "At least I hope so. Please tell me you didn't get some tacky lounge comic."
Michelle glanced at her clipboard again. "Number twenty!" she called then turned to Paula. "As a member of my auxiliary I should think you'd trust me by now."
"Oh, we trust you," JoAnne interrupted. "It's just some comedians... well... you know..."
"Hey, lady," a tall, heavy punk approached. He had a bandanna around his head, chains and pink glasses.
"I hope that's not the comedian," Liz said.
"I'm Scum!" he announced.
No argument here.
"This is my band." He was joined by two other 'men'. "We're Pinko Punko! But that's spelled with a 'Q', Pinqo Punqo. And I'm Squm with a 'Q' and that's Muqus Welby with a 'Q' and Blade Barf Buqet..."
"...with a 'Q'," Michelle and Paula said together.
Liz made a face. "What's with all the 'Q's?"
"Those 'Q's are our ticket to the big time," Squm told her. "We weren't making it as big a we should so we all changed the spellings of our names. Give us an edge in the biz."
Michelle turned to Liz. "You had to ask." She returned to Squm. "And you're related to?"
"My mother."
"Look, Mister..."
"Just Squm. One name says it all. Don't you think?"
"Oh, definitely. Look... Squm, this show is for firefighters and their relatives."
Squm grew agitated. "Hey, lady, we're professionals. We're better than anything you'll ever see. Our music is going to start a revolution in the industry..."
"I don't doubt that," Michelle said under her breath.
Blade jumped into the discussion. "We have our rights! We're better than you! If you don't let us audition we're going straight to the Supreme Court..."
Michelle signaled the guard who was by the door. "Security!" she yelled.
The guard approached them.
"Hey," Squm protested, "You can't call security on us."
"Yes, I can," Michelle sighed. "It's sequrity with a 'Q'"
The three were escorted out of the hall.
With that over. Charlie and Sherry Wilson took the stage to sing. Satisfied Michelle slotted them in the program.
"So about this comedian," Paula schmoozed with Mike. "You know who it is don't you?"
Mike's eyes gleamed. "I'm not telling."
"Come on. Just give me a hint."
"Loooking Goood!" The voice came from behind.
All the ladies turned. Michelle smiled at her emcee. "Hi, Freddie."
"Michelle, ma belle." He gave her a gentle hug, a typical greeting he offered those he liked.
Three pair of disbelieving eyes were on them.
"How does she do it?" JoAnne asked with wonder.
"Yeah," Paula agreed. "When I headed the auxiliary I couldn't even get Svengoolie*"
Marco Lopez who had been on stage singing La Bamba neared the group. "How'd I do?"
"You'll follow Dwyre's ventriloquist act," Michelle told him. She looked to Freddie. "I'm going to try to mix up the types of acts."
He nodded then took off with Marco speaking in Spanish.
Mike moved to Michelle's side. "You took Spanish. What are they talking about?"
"Beats me. But if either one mentions his aunt's pen being on the table I'll let you know."
A week later the talent show opened with Michelle introducing the star of a popular sitcom to emcee the show. She thanked him for agreeing to host the show to which he responded, "It's not my job."
THE END