Bottom Line

Note: This was written when a friend challenged me to write an "embarrass Michelle" story.

"Hey, Mike, your wife is here." Marco Lopez was looking out the kitchen door window. "And she's got a big box."

John Gage approached and whapped him lightly with the back of his hand. "I don't believe you," he hissed. "Mike's right there and you make a comment..."

"Gage," Marco sighed, exasperated. "She's got a big white box with her." He pointed out the window.

John took a glance. "Oh." He moved away from the door muttering, "How was I supposed to know?"

Marco opened the door as Michelle Stoker neared then stepped into the kitchen carrying a large white bakery box. "Hey, guys!" she greeted as Mike liberated the box from her arms and kissed her. "What's all this," he asked setting it on the table.

Michelle raised the box lid revealing an assortment of doughnuts and danish. "It's leftovers from the brunch meeting. My colleagues didn't want it around the office so I thought I bring it here."

John Gage was the first to snag a Boston cream. "Well, all right!"

The rest of the guys helped themselves to what was in the box, Capt. Stanley commenting that he "needed this like a hole in the head."

Mike selected a strawberry danish and then led Michelle to the couch. Nudging Henry aside the two sat. Henry loped back resting his head pathetically in Michelle's lap. Michelle absently rubbed his ears. Mike swallowed a mouthful. "So, did the committee come up with a theme for the ball this year."

Michelle sighed. "Let's just say Betty McConnike had one of her 'brilliant' ideas."

With that six fire fighters groaned. John took quick steps toward the couch and stabbed his first two fingers at her face. "She didn't suggest 'Polka Party again?" he accused.

Michelle knocked his hand out of her face. "No. But you might wish she had."

"Why? How bad is it?" Roy stammered.

Michelle's attempt to answer was interrupted by the phone. Captain Stanley went to answer saying, 'Hold that thought." He lifted the receiver. "LA county fire department. Capt. Stanley. Hi, Beth. .. Yeah, she's here... Not yet... What?... Yeah, bye." He hung up and moved back to the couch. "Okay, what is blazes is a 'hip square dance'?

Michelle exhaled sharply. "That's what I started to tell you. It's Betty's brilliant idea. She's really excited about it."

"But what is it?" Mike interrupted.

"That's just it," Michelle stated in a tired way. "I'm still not sure myself. All Betty said was that it was going to be loads of fun and... and... we all wear our pajamas."

All the men reacted, all talking at once. Marco capped it by saying, "We all knew the chief's wife was insane."

Then John added, "Besides, I don't even own pajamas. I sleep in nature's own if ya know what I mean."

Chet stepped close to him. 'Yeah, we know what you mean. And that just a little more than we need to know if you know what I mean."

Chet's comment seemed to set off random bickering. Roy with him, John and Marco and Mike and Capt. Stanley with Michelle. It continued until Mike's attention got redirected by a sound. "Dennis!" he said and rushed to where he had entered the station. Everyone else fell silent at Mike's sense of urgency. Dennis was bleeding from the left side of his forehead near his temple. Michelle moved to him as Mike was already guiding him to the couch and Capt. Stanley said, "John, Roy..." The two immediately headed to the squad for their equipment while the captain called in a still alarm.

Michelle gave a cursory exam to Dennis' head. "What the hell happened? Did the two of you have another fight?"

Dennis jerked his head from her touch. "I wouldn't call it a fight."

Mike shoved his hands in his pockets. "What would you call it?"

Dennis looked up. "Mutual combat."

John Gage knelt in front of the couch and opened the drug box and the box with the stethoscope. "How exactly did this happen?"

Dennis grunted. "I threw something that missed. She threw something that didn't."

John checked his pupils. "Did you black out?"

"No."

"Dizzy?"

"A little."

Michelle and Mike reacted. "You drove here dizzy?" Michelle accused.

"Actually, I drove to your office. They sent me here." He flinched a bit as John rechecked the pupils.

John turned to Roy who had set up the biophone. "Pupils are equal and reactive." He turned back to Dennis and reached for his wrist. Dennis jerked it away. "Look, I need to get your pulse." Dennis relented. John got the remaining vitals and relayed them to Roy.

Roy spoke with Dr. Brackett at Rampart then spoke over his shoulder to John. "IV, D5W and transport."

John snagged the IV and attempted to swab Dennis' arm. Dennis yanked his arm and protested with a few choice words. "Look, I'm just trying to start an IV on you."

"Well, I don't want a fucking IV."

John turned to Roy and shrugged. Roy spoke into the biophone,"Rampart, patient is refusing IV." He listened a moment. "Brackett says to transport without the IV.'"

At that moment two ambulance attendants entered with a gurney. Dennis took one look and started to rise. "I'm not going to the fucking hospital." Lightheadedness took over and he sat back down.

Michelle leaned over him. "Why did you come here then?

"I thought you'd give me a band aid."

Mike rolled his eyes. "And some sympathy, no doubt."

John readdressed him. "Dennis, this is more serious than a band- aid. You could have a concussion. Now I'm not starting the IV but you really ought to get on the gurney." He put his hand on Dennis' arm.

That's when Dennis lost it. He swung connecting with Gage's nose sending him backwards. "I said no hospital."

John recovered himself and checked his nose. Michelle tried to soothe Dennis. He shoved her aside sending her backwards as well. She landed squarely on her backside. She sat stunned for a second as Mike stooped at her side. Still fingering his own nose John turned to her, "You okay?"

Michelle exhaled sharply. "Yeah. Just got the wind knock out of me a bit."

Chet flicked Dennis' arm and then indicated Michelle sitting still slightly shaken on the floor, her husband stooped beside her. "Look what you've done now, you ninny."

Dennis took a look a Michelle who was by now trying to get her husband to leave her alone, and started to cry.

Michelle gave Mike a slight shove in Dennis' direction. Mike taking the hint moved to Dennis' side and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Okay, okay. Don't cry. Michelle's fine. It's not going to help you to upset yourself."

Dennis looked at Mike. "No hospital," he said flatly.

Mike looked to Michelle then back to Dennis. Dennis relented. "I'll go if Michelle does."

Michelle shifted to her knees. "Oh, no. I don't need a hospital just for falling on my... " she stopped realizing that all of station 51 was giving her their undivided attention, waiting to see what word she used to describe where she landed. "for falling on the hard floor."

Captain Stanley folded his arms and addressed Michelle and John. "You know, all the two of you ought to get checked out."

Dennis repeated. "I'll go if Michelle does."

Captain Stanley slapped his hands together. "Well, it's all settled, then. Stoker, pal, why don't you drive your wife's car to the hospital. You can ride back with the guys in the squad."

With that Dennis let Mike help him to the gurney. Michelle groaned but made her way with John to the waiting ambulance. "What a day," she grumbled.

And what a day indeed. Michelle soon found herself in a treatment room at Rampart Hospital with Dr. Brackett insisting she drop her pants so he could check the damage. Michelle backed up against the treatment table. "I'm telling you it's fine."

Dr. Brackett folded his arms. "Why don't you let me be the judge of that?"

Mike leaned in to speak to his wife. "Look, just do it. The sooner you do the sooner you can get out of here and check on Dennis... and I can go back to the station."

Michelle gave him a look. "Or we can forget the whole thing and I can get out of here even sooner." There was a pause. "You're not buying it, huh?"

Mike shook his head. "Why don't you let me do it. Come on." He coaxed her face down onto the exam table and carefully lowered her pants, then her underwear. He moved aside so Dr. Brackett could get a look.

"I don't believe this is happening," she mumbled to herself as Dr. Brackett began to palpitate the area. Then Brackett made a move. "Hey!" she protested. "I don't even let Mike do that."

"Yes...well," Brackett stammered. "I need to see if there's any injury below the surface...I don't feel any deep swelling. I think it's just some minor surface bruising."

At that moment the treatment room door swung open and John Gage stepped in announcing, "Hey, Mike, Roy's waiting in the squa..." He stopped short realizing, but stared, grinning stupidly."

Mike hurried to the door and gave John a shove. "Will you get out of here." He returned to where his wife lay.

Michelle looked up at her husband. "Why don't you just go... now... before someone else walks in."

Mike nodded. "Okay, see you later." He exited.

"This day just gets better and better," Michelle grumbled.

Out by the base station John was still sporting his silly grin when Dixie walked up. "What's with you?" she inquired casually.

"This day just gets better and better," he responded almost dreamily. His mood was shaken by Mike approaching.

"What were you thinking just barging into the treatment room like that?" Mike accused.

"Look, I'm a paramedic," John reasoned. "I always just walk into the treatment room like that." Mike rolled his eyes. "Okay," John offered. "How 'bout this? How about next shift off I come over to your house and show Michelle my backside. " Mike just shook his head. "What? That should make things fair."

Mike rubbed his forehead. "You know the problem here is that you really believe that's a viable idea." Annoyed he turned and headed for the hospital exit.

John held his place a moment then followed saying, "I was only trying to help. Geez, what a grouch."

A couple of minutes later Dr. Brackett and Michelle Stoker emerged from the treatment room. "You'll find Dennis in treatment 3 with Dr. Early," Kel told her. She went in the direction of the room while Kel headed to the base station.

"How is she?" Dr. Morton inquired.

Kel made a notation in a chart. "Well, I'll tell you, she's very lucky she's naturally well padded. She just had some minor surface bruising."

Dr. Morton folded his arms in reflection. "So you're saying it's really all her...no enhancer?"

Dr. Brackett gave him a pat on the arm. "It's all her," he said reassuringly.

Dixie rolled her eyes. "You two are impossible."

*********

Captain Stanley exited his office as Squad 51 backed into the bay. John leaped from the vehicle and made a beeline for the kitchen. Captain Stanley called after him, "How's the nose?" He shrugged. Mike attempted to follow Gage but was cornered by his captain. "So, how's Michelle?"

"She's fine." Mike tried to move.

"Well, how's Dennis doing?"

Mike looked in the direction of the kitchen. "I don't know. We didn't stick around that long." He took a step but Capt. Stanley stopped him.

"Someone will let us know, right?"

"Right," Mike answered in a hurried way. He managed to make a break for the kitchen.

He was too late. John's mouth was already in overdrive. He didn't notice Mike come up behind him as he filled Chet and Marco in on the details. "I'm telling you it was incredible."

Chet thrust his hands into his pockets. "You lucky stiff. Getting to walk in on that."

Marco noticed Mike and cleared his throat. John continued, "Man, it is all her, too." Marco cleared his throat louder. John seemed annoyed. "Do you need some water or something?" All of the sudden Mike dropped a hand on John's shoulder. John gave an exaggerated gulp.

**********

About an hour later Michelle entered the station through the kitchen door. Mike greeted her. "Hey, what are you doing back here?"

"I wanted to let you know they released Dennis but wanted him observed for forty-eight hours so I'm taking back to our house."

"But, he's okay?"

"Yeah. But, like I said they want him monitored."

John entered the area then. "Hey, Michelle, how're you doing? Look, I'm sorry about walking in on you before."

Michelle put her hand up. "Forget it."

"I mean I'd like to make it up to you."

"You can... by forgetting it."

John kept at it. "You know, I offered to come over and show you my backside to square things but Mike here didn't think much of the idea."

Michelle eyed him. "Well, from what I can see it wouldn't even begin to make things even." She exited the station leaving John dumbfounded and Mike laughing.

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