"Make yourself comfortable," Jim told Michelle.
This was going to be quite a challenge for the Judaic Studies professor. The rather out of character for James Ellison evening was leading her to anything but comfort. The extravegant meal at Chez Over Priced for What You Get was bad enough. But, now, and this was the clincher Jim suggested spending the remainder of the night at the loft. That might not have seemed so bad, except for one minor detail. Blair was home.
"I can tell from his heartbeat that he's asleep," Jim had assured her.
All Michelle could do was roll her eyes and follow him into the building.
When the detective unlocked the door to the loft and led her inside it was confirmed that Blair was indeed asleep. Jim had detoured to the kitchen saying, "Make yourself comfortable."
Michelle sighed. Never a thought to what if he wakes up. Dropping onto the sofa she glanced at her friend. He had retrieved a bowl of strawberries from the refrigerator and was approaching nonchalantly.
Michelle watched as he set the bowl on the coffee table and sat beside her.
"Come here," he coaxed guiding her head to his lap causing her to automatically bring her legs up onto the cushions.
Her puzzled look turned to a smirk as Jim selected a strawberry and placed it in his mouth halfway. "Oh, Jim, really. Who told you to use strawberries?"
Jim removed the berry. "Nobody told me. Don't you think I can think of these things on my own?" While she was preparing her retort Jim's mind drifted to earlier that day in the bullpen.
"Hey, Jimbo, where you heading in such a rush?"
"Aw, H, got a big date planned tonight. Romantic dinner, back to my place..." He hadn't finished describing his uncharacteristic plans as he pushed past the other detective.
"Hey, man," Brown called after him. "Use strawberries. She'll love it. I guarantee."
Jim was brought back to the present by Michelle's, "Oy."
He placed the fruit in his mouth again and leaned over her only to have her burst out laughing. "I'm sorry," Michelle told him through a chuckle. "But, it's like so not you." She gave way to another gale.
Though in his mind he was plotting about telling Henri Brown exactly what HE could use strawberries for he pinned Michelle with a tender blue gaze. "Humor me," he pleaded placing the red fruit back in his mouth.
The prof swallowed her next guffaw. "Fine." And she opened her mouth allowing the exposed half of the strawberry to enter.
Their lips had just met, Michelle biting off half of the berry when a terrified scream came from the small room which was Blair's. Jim responded to the shout by throwing Michelle off of his lap, leaping from the couch and heading for the room. Michelle who had gulped the chunk of fruit whole recovered herself and followed.
Michelle stopped in the doorway and watched as Jim sat on the edge of the futon and struggled with his best friend who was now muttering, "I'm a fraud. I'm a fraud." over and over again.
"Chief!" Jim had Blair by the upper arms and was shaking him slightly. "Chief, Blair!" This time he tapped lightly at his face.
Whatever had its grip on Blair finally let go and Blair's eyes flew open to see the outline of his friend's face hovering him. "Jim," he said half questioning, half panicked.
"Yeah, buddy, it's me," Jim replied flicking on the bedside light.
"Oh, man." Blair sat up and slipped his arms around Jim. "Oh, man," he repeated.
Jim was just bringing him arms up to return the embrace when Blair suddenly let go and slid back against the wall bringing his knees up to his chest. He dropped his head to his knees and there was a flurry of hair as he shook his head.
Instinctively Jim reached out to him resting his palm in gentle benediction on top of the curly head.
Blair raised his head, knocking away the comforting touch. "Not now, Jim," he muttered.
Though the subtle rebuff hurt Jim swallowed and said, "Don't you want to talk about it?"
Again, a movement of hair from side to side. There was a double-take as he noticed Michelle leaning against the door frame. "Can I talk to the doc?"
Jim glanced over his shoulder, surprised. He'd all but forgotten Michelle was even there.
"I do want to talk about it," Blair said softly. His next words were even quieter. "Just not to you." He felt terrible having said that but he just couldn't tell Jim what he had been dreaming.
In that instant Jim felt his heart rip in two. But this wasn't about him he told himself. It's more important to help Blair right now. He silently rose and exited the room stopping beside Michelle. "Talk to the man," he said evenly.
"Jim..."
Jim closed his eyes then opened them again. "Help him first." He closed the french doors leaving her alone with the brother of his heart.
"Don't say it," Blair told her before she could comment. "I'm not trying to hurt him, really."
Michelle approached the bed, the anthropologist's eyes on her the whole time. "Well, you succeeded anyway," she stated. Her tone was more matter-of-fact then angry. She knew the young man too well to believe he'd intentionally hurt Jim. Sitting, she said, "You gonna tell me about this dream?"
Blair ran a hand through his hair and pushed out a sigh. "Yeah." He nodded. "Yeah." There was a pause as he collected the disjointed images. "First I was in the jungle... Jim had a crossbow and he shot me with it... And I kept hearing Duran Duran singing "Hungry Like the Wolf" in the background. It was like so weird." He stopped to scrub his hands down his face then look back into Michelle's eyes. "Then there was this other sentinel... a female. I didn't tell Jim about her. Well, I tried. He didn't really want to hear about it cause he was in this major rotten mood through the whole dream. Anyway, I was doing research with her and Jim ended up finding out about it." He paused again to think back. "He kicked me out of the loft," he said sadly. "This female wasn't exactly a good guy. She drowned me. You know that fountain at Rainier?"
Michelle nodded.
"In there. I guess cause it was a dream I was like watching it all happen." He was quiet for a minute. "Jim saved me. He put his lips to mine and gave me the air out his lungs..." He had to stop as emotion choked him. Regaining control he continued. "I guess I thought everything was going to be okay after that. He wanted me to move back. At least I think so. He made some joke about me owing rent." He shrugged at his own statement. "We somehow ended up in Mexico chasing the female. And there was this major attraction thing between her and Jim."
Michelle raised an eyebrow at this.
This caused Blair to chuckle slightly. "Sorry. Look there was alot of other bits and pieces. I'm not going to bore you."
Michelle reached out and touched his hand. "One thing. In your sleep you were muttering something about being a... fraud. What was that about? Do you remember?"
Blair retracted his hand from her touch and nodded his head. "See, Jim was being this major a... jerkface," he censored himself and Michelle laughed knowing which word he had intended. "The dream is somewhat fuzzy at this point but the gist of it goes like this. Naomi got a hold of my diss, sent it off to some publisher friend of hers and boom, domino effect. Press finds out. Jim thinks I sold him out... Other stuff," he mumbled. "And then there I am in front of the press telling them my dissertation is a work of fiction..."
"To save Jim," Michelle interrupted.
Blair studied his knees and picked at a fuzz ball on his blanket. "Yeah." Then he looked up suddenly. "Not that my mom would ever do anything like that," he defended.
"Of course not," Michelle said, thinking, "Yeah right. In a heartbeat. She'd get over excited and want someone to read Blair's work... just so he'd have some feedback."
"She wouldn't," Blair said again. Maybe trying to convince himself. "And before you start asking I already know why I had this dream."
"Oh, you do?"
"Well, what kind of dreams would you have if you'd been using your best friend as a lab rat?" He pulled at the fuzz ball again. "I mean that's what I've been doing isn't it?"
"Is that really what you think, Blair?"
"What else am I suppose to think. I mean it started out- hooray, I found myself a real live sentinel. Holy Grail Time!" He looked at Michelle. "I said that, you know. But then it wasn't about that anymore. Jim and I became close and I still used him. Man, now it's getting down to the wire..."
"Your dissertation's finished isn't it?"
The teaching fellow gave a slight nod. "Yeah." He shifted so he was sitting cross-legged beside her. "I can't turn it in."
"Well, that's another discussion. One you need to have with Jim. And why wouldn't you tell him about the dream?"
"Are you kidding me? Tell him that I had this dream where he treats me bad, tosses me out with no regard to my feelings... I don't want him to feel like that's what I think he'd ever do to me."
Once again Michelle made physical contact with the young man, touching the side of his face. "Jim would never think that."
Blair was about to say something when the door opened and Jim entered, his face moist with tears, "She's right, Chief," his voice was hoarse with emotion. "Sorry, I just couldn't do the respect- the- privacy thing. Not this time." He neared and sat on the bed beside Michelle. "Thank you," he whispered to her.
Michelle merely nodded. Then she turned her attention back to Blair. "He knows about the dream and he's here."
"Please talk to me, Blair," Jim beseeched.
"I don't know. It'll probably get kind of emotional in here."
Jim steeled himself. "There's no 'probably' about it."
Blair laughed once and canted his head indicating the professor still sitting between them.
Jim hadn't needed his sentinel abilities to pick up on that. "She's seen us kiss before, Chief," he stated totally clueless. Blair blushed.
"It's okay," Michelle reassured Blair. "I was leaving." She rose from the futon and paused to squeeze Jim's shoulder before leaving them.
Jim moved to occupy the space she had vacated. He opened his mouth but Blair interrupted.
"Jim, before you say... or do anything... you know, I don't think you'd treat me like that right?" His brain was still trapped in that horrible dream. "I mean, you don't think that's why I dreamed that."
Jim sighed. He would never ever think a thing like that. But how to assure his friend while he was still so vulnerable from the actions of the "dream Jim". He wanted to grab him right then and there, hold him and tell him he loved him. That just wasn't going to cut it this time. He had to get Blair to realize it.
He leaned forward to rest his forehead against Blair's temple, relieved that he accepted the contact. "It was just a dream, Chief. JUST a dream." Then, "You know I love you, don't you?"
Blair rotated his head so they were forehead to forehead, nose to nose. "Jim..." He was practically speaking into Jim's mouth.
"Don't you?"
"Yeah, man, I know."
"You need to say it, Blair," Jim insisted.
Blair exhaled. "I know you love me."
Jim brought his hand up to cup the back of the young man's head. "You know how much?"
Mild exasperation flooded him but he answered, "Yes."
"Yes, what?" Jim felt Blair roll his eyes. "Yes, what?" he repeated.
"I know how much," he stated dutifully.
"Enough that I wouldn't think a thing like that?" He felt Blair's nod. "And very important. I know you love me. So, I know you wouldn't think I'd treat you like that. Got it?"
"Yeah, Jim, I got it."
"Good." Jim inched his lips the short space between them pecking him lightly on the mouth. Nothing. The kid wasn't responding.
"Jim," Blair began. "I'm not going to turn over the dissertation on sentinels."
Jim was taken aback but did not move. "Chief..."
"I'm going to turn over the one about the Thin Blue Line."
"How are you going to do that?"
"I was always writing the other one anyway. I figured just in case something happened... not something like in my dream, though..."
His flow of words was halted by Jim's lips touching his again. Still nothing.
"I don't want you to ever feel like a lab rat."
"All your research..."
"Will be used to help you with your senses. It's okay, big guy. Really." He took a deep breath before finishing. "You mean more to me as my friend... and my brother than as a doctoral thesis."
"I always knew that," Jim told him.
There was a pause. "Jim, I'm ready now," he said understanding his friend's need for the physical reassurance.
This time when Jim kissed him he felt the welcome sensation of the gesture being returned.
"Jim, I'd like to try to go back to sleep."
Jim straightened his posture, throwing his head back to remove the kink in his neck. Blair resettled under the covers, Jim tucking them around him. "No more nightmares," he ordered his guide. He patted Blair on the stomach. Rising he leaned back over to kiss him on the forehead before turning out the light.
"Oh, and sorry about ruining your date," Blair mumbled sleepily.
Date! Frick! Michelle was still in the other room.
Michelle was curled up on the couch. Her breathing steady and even in the deeper stages of sleep. Jim knelt beside the sofa and studied her features. Totally relaxed. In the midst of what had to be the date from hell she was totally relaxed. Carefully, Jim slid his arms under her and lifted, rising from the squat in one smooth motion. Heading for the stairs he whispered to her sleeping form. "You know when I envisioned carrying you up the stairs this is not what I imagined." Reaching his room he lay her gently on the bed and removed her shoes. Immediately, she turned to her side and drew her legs up into a fetal position. Jim shook his head, stripped to his boxers and crawled in behind her pulling her close against his chest.
One eye opened. Then the other. Okay, where in the name am I? She was in a bed being encased by a human tortilla. She was still dressed. That was very good news. Oh, yeah, fell asleep on Jim's couch. He must've brought me up here.
"Jim?" She slapped at the arm that was around her.
"Hmmm?"
"Jim, wake up."
"Huh?"
"I need you to let me up."
"Why?" He was still obviously out of it.
"Because I'm too old to wet the bed."
"Oh."
Michelle exited the bathroom to find a robe-clad Jim in the kitchen slicing bagels. "I figured Blair won't mind you eating one of his nine-grain health ones," he told her without looking up.
Michelle leaned against the counter. "Did everything go okay last night... with you two that is?"
Jim chuckled. "Yeah." He set the bread knife aside. "Finally got him to kiss me," he joked. "Now I just have to work on you."
The professor folder her arms. "I'd be happy to kiss you," she told him. "I'm just not into kissing strawberries."
He gave her a blank look.
Dropping her arms she explained, "Jim, I know you were trying very hard to have last night be... special." She moved closer. "You should know that I already think you're special and the time I spend with you is as well. Even if all we do is take a walk in the park. I mean, you don't have to go through all the romantic processes. Whatever is going to happen is going to come naturally."
Jim closed the remaining distance between them. "You didn't like last night at all?"
Michelle smirked. "I like that you wanted to make an effort. But, really, you don't have to try so hard."
This time when he kissed her there was nothing to get in the way. Not a nightmarish scream... or a strawberry.
THE END