Razor Blade Kisses - Midnight's Realm
[Here you will find my poetry.]
Untitled, 2003, Casey (C)
In dreams you'll find me
alone and awake in sin
drifting further off the coast of you
into the darkness of this life
feeling my life spin out of control
and the only solitude is you
My island in this dark ocean
My prayer in this sin
MY life in this darkness
My soul escaping
My Soul raping
My spirit gapeing
I am raped
And I am bound
By this sin
And this leather
My thoughts flowing forever
no one is who they seem to be
The beauty of death
Casey, 2004
Silver threads surround me
the hair from an angels face
cold dark eyes
A place
my heart
held so near
fogiven
meaningful starlight drips down upon me
making my skin so wet
I'm so wet
A crisp dream of sinful pleasures
ladies in masks
turn me on
The feeling of teeth
on my skin
a great
and bitter
reward
draw my life from me please
Seduce me with your smile
your breath on my neck
I'm going wild
The fire inside
is growing hotter by the minute
blood drips down
pale alabater skin
laying on the cold hard floor
body unmoving
never knowing
death
It's so beautiful
Without You
Memories are just where you leave them
nothing in this world mattered to me as much as you
seems like grey clouds are destined to follow me
God just give me a chance to make this right
I stand
and I cry
I cry out to you
but you can't hear me
and I
I'm lost here
without you
without you
I wanted nothing more
then to be lost in your arms forever
to feel like I matter the most
in your life forever
I cry out to you but you can't hear me
because your far away
I loved you more
then I did before
can't you hear me?
I crying to you now
trying to make you see
you meant everything to me
I stand
and I cry out to the sky
I cry to you
please hear me
please let me know you care forever
I
I am nothing without you
I
I am lost here without you
Without you
Please God let me make this right
let me stay the night with my world
God if your listening please
hold on for me
I'm coming around
I'm coming around
God please don't let us fall apart
Don't let me be left standing in the shadows
of a broken heart
I stand
Oh but I'm left standing
with my love bleeding in my hands
and I cry
I cry out to you
but you can't hear me
and I
am lost here
without you
without you
I wanted nothing more
then to be in your arms forever
to feel like I matter the most
in your life forever
I cry out to you but you can't hear me
because your far away
I loved you more
then I did before
can't you hear me?
I am lost here
without you
Rage
Scared
Feeling shallow
Unsure
of what come's next
Restless
Is this feeling
This feeling, inside me
And it wont go
(Wont go away)
Feeling
Like there's no relief
From this
An on going pain
A pain you don't know
A pain
That lives deep inside
When I'm down in this shallow tomb
Inside I'm crying
Inside I feel myself dying
And the reason for this is not known to you
The reason is my own
Fogotten in time
(So forgotten...)
So I thought.
This endless pain
Inside my soul
Will it ever go away
Why do I feel this way
I don't know what causes this
Bring me back into time
Take me away from this
I'm so afraid
Of losing everything
It always comes down to this
Tension's building
Deep inside of me
And
I can't set it free
No
I can't set it free
This burning pain
Inside of me
I can't set it free
Scared
Feeling shallow
Unsure
of what come's next
Restless
Is this feeling
This feeling, inside me
And it wont go
Wont go away
Feeling
Like there's no relief
From this
An on going pain
A pain you don't know
A pain
That lives deep inside
When I'm down in this shallow tomb
Inside I'm crying
Inside I feel myself dying
And the reason for this is not known to you
The reason is my own
Dreams
What can i do to make your dreams come true
Life sometimes holds me with its thick breath
Ice cold fingers
and deafing silence
My soul sleeps
Unplagued by the useless emotion of saddness
The richness of life surounds it
Can I make your dreams come true
Show me the way
show me the way to crystline dreams of happiness
Fruitful with love
Seemingly carefree
The darkness here lives on
But take away your darkest emotions for once
Let life begin to show you its wonders
Don't be afraid to love completly
True... love can hurt you so deeply
penatrate your soul
But true love will shelter you
And feel you with happiness
Open your heart
Open your eyes to see the wonders of this life
This is how I can make your dreams come true
By showing you
That you and you alone hold the key of life
In your own hands
You must only find it
And not be afraid to use it
Trance
I am trance
I am a dream
A life without a meaning
A life without a question
I am the dying one
My soul is as far from god as it can run
Sandmen, lonely spirits, fallen ones of all kinds,
have been sent to rescue me
All have failed
They all have failed
I cry into the darkness
I am still unable to find a light
Life so perfect...
And yet still something isn't right
An emptyness, unknown still lives inside of me
I am so saddend by this life
So very saddend by the things I see
This life is nothing
No one is true in thier words
No one is real in thier actions
I feel like living again in my own imagination
I feel like dying again
This time it's for real
Not just a bad mood
No, this time I see life for what it is..
And I am life shaken and crying
Crying out for redemption
Crying out for something
Crying out for peace
Death
And an eternal sleep
The Fallen One
Most say I fell from heaven
Some say I'm straight from hell
Wherever I may Roam is where you'll find me
Creeping around like a shadow always with you in the night
This is why I prefer a sunless sky,
One where only the moon casts it light opon me,
This is why I'm floating around this earth searching for something,
and these dark wings make me feel so burdoned,
weighing me down till the night time leaves my heart
Why do you feel most alive, when death is so near?
You can hear the angels calling you,
and yet the whisper into your ears songs of saddness and misery,
This cannot be.
I'm feeling like I'm the darkest soul on this damned place called earth,
and yet to everyone I meet I become thier fallen angel.
A fallen one with pure sweet love,
A fallen one whose dark soul does not show.
I am the fallen one
I am the fallen one
Far from heaven I run
As far from god as I can be
"Angel, come.."
They whisper to me..
Calling me out from my hiding place in the shadows.
They know that no matter how much sorrow I feel inside,
From thier voices I cannot run.
Why is it that I can bring such love and happiness to these people,
Why is it they think so much of me..
Why me?
I cannot see what they see.
For I feel so dark inside sometimes,
That's why in shadows I still do hide.
I'm feeling like i'm the darkest soul on this damned place called earth,
and yet to everyone I meet I become thier fallen angel.
A fallen one with pure sweet love,
A fallen one whose dark soul does not show,
I am the fallen one
I am the fallen one
Far from heaven I run
As far from god as I can be
Slowy my dark shell is being uncovered
My wings have started to turn a faint tint of silver,
Could it be that I am no longer to blind to see what the others see?
I open my heart up very slowly still,
I'm unable to completely trust still,
And yet my soul is feeling cleaner and less weighed down...
And yet still I am the fallen one.
And yet sometimes I'm feeling,
like i'm the darkest soul on this damned place called earth,
and yet to everyone I meet I become thier fallen angel.
A fallen one with pure sweet love,
A fallen one whose dark soul does not show.
But why me?
I am the fallen one
I am the fallen one
Far from heaven I run
I am as far from god as I ever can be
Love Bytes
Oh how wrong can you be
Yes..to fall in love was my very first mistake
Now I know, I was far to much in love to see
This love's not worth it
It was never meant to last forever
But then again..
What is?
Love it takes you to the skies
only to drop you on your ass
If you are not careful
If you do not tend to it as you would a rose
I made a claim, long ago, to walk alone,
never to fall for another
But a lonely spirit came along and I learned to trust
But I was a fool to trust him
Now I see that love is just a figmant of our imagination for most people
But not for me
The one thing in life, that I want most of all
Is only for someone to love me forever
To that person, I vow to give my all to
For when I'm in love....my love knows no limits
But for now, I have put the barrier to my heart
Maybe you could break them down?
Show me you care...show me your sincere..
And i'll let my guard down again..
Even though heartbreak kills apart of me each time
And I've been so heart broken in my life I sometimes
feel like I don't have much of me left to be killed
This is me now
I'm between Heaven and Hell..please...come and be my savoir..and I'll always be the angel in your dreams.
Digital
I think too much
That's my problem.
Dwell on stuff that should be forgotten...
it's gets me sad...
to the point that all i wanna do is sleep,
and dream of a better future then the one thats in store for me
why dream in color though
when the world is black and white
When all you see
and all you feel
Isn't even what's right
You think you know your own heart and soul
to the point it can be trusted
then with a sick twist of fate
Your body and heart starts to ache
Can you see it?
It's heartache
heartbreak
your soul feeling like its going down into the pits of despair
You say you love me
That much I know is true
But you also say you'll never hurt me
To me, that's just more words from you
Cause I know all to well
how a mans heart works in beats
and how when I'm sleeping
dreaming of only you
you're probably out
with only god knows who
I wanna trust in peoples words
and all to often i do, just never completely
It only gets my soul trampled on
leaving me nothing, but a feeling that this world
And love, is nothing but dreams in digital
i'm torn
Torn between loves
unable to reach out
unable to span out
unable to break this enternal sleep i'm in
My heart feels such a passion
but still a piece of me is missing
i'm still so incomplete
All I want in this lifetime
Is someone who will love me forever
Never leave me
never forsake me
But always be there for me
caring
and loving me through it all
Is this to much to ask from this world?
I am a fool
For that's all my heart desires.
But everyday my heart feels
like its wrapped in barbed wires.
Save me
Make my soul once again feel like it could fly
Make me, once again,
feel like I could never ever die.
Untitled
What do you expect from me
How do you think I should feel
My love lies bleeding
and raped at your feet
What did I do wrong
When I did nothing but give you what you asked
But still you turn away
Leaving my soul shattered like fragile glass
I thought all you wanted was someone to be true to you
For the first time, someone who wouldn't lie to you
Someone who was there
I gave you this and more
But because of only a simple distance
you choose to let go of my heart
And leave me in the darkest shadows of this world
So that you can once again roam in the shadows of your Dream World
We said we had something that could last
And yet... now you feel differently
Is it because of another?
Or is it only that your heart is feeling something that is killing you inside
You don't want to hurt
You don't want to cry
So instead, you just say goodbye.
Yes I will live again
This will not tear me apart
You cannot love
You have a barrier I cannot penatrate
One where even my feelings are stopped cold
Dead, laying bleeding and raped at your feet
I was screaming without a sound
And now my soul stands breathless
You were beating me into the ground
Your life is too reckless
You never could seem to see, just what you were doing to me
You never can seem to see how much you hurt me
You break me
Break my soul into pieces
And then you take me
To places higher then the sun,
Only to leave me once the damage has been done
Farther farther I reached for you
And don't you care
That you're headed no where?
If you come with me, your sorrow will be forgotten
But I know it's best that you and I are apart.
Do you see my wrists?
I know of your pain
And still your eyes haunt me in my sleep
I seem to see you floating in midair
Arms stretched to each side
You look down at me
Eyes full of sadness
But now I know what you have tried so desprately to hide.
The secret's safe with me.
And I've cried for you
For my soul knew no other
I would have died for you
I had already givin' up most everything else.
I wanted you more then the heavens love the stars
I wanted you more then anyone I'd ever known
But when I offered you my soul
My flesh
My heart
and still you turned me away
You say you're afraid.... afraid of love.
My soul stands breathless and the mere mention of you
But the internal sadness that used to eat away at me
Is now gone.
I see now what i never saw before
I see now, that you are not the one I thought you were
Drugs and alcohol are your life.
A wanderer.... you're not out for love anymore.
A love that will last...... that's all I want in my life.
Someone who will be there for me, love me, whether near or far
I haven't found that yet
I thought I'd found it in you...
But when I offered you my heart and soul,
and gave to you everything i had to offer...
Your eyes turned once again for the western skies...
And you took flight on wings of palest silver.
Father
Tonight my child you must close your eyes
and try not to see what he has set before you
A fathers love is what you desire
But every move you make
He makes you feel as though your soul is on fire
Deliver me
From this place
I don't even
want to see his face
No matter what I do
Or how hard I try
Nothing is enough for him
Why do I even try
Tears from the heavens
are in my eyes tonight
I try to reach out for something
Try to make this pain in my heart go away
Acceptance is all I want from you
For you
To once in my life believe in me
For once tell me i am right
But father you turn me away
Everytime I try to reach out to you
For every tear that falls
is another dream forgotten
Why wont you believe in me...just for once
To just once have that acceptance from you
and for once to be able to view you as my father
And not someone I hate and fear
Can't you see me trying to reach out to you?
No...all you do is shove me away...
and make me feel like an outcast in my own home.
Etching on my heart
I pray for the night
The moon in your eyes.
the softness of it's light,
carressing your face,
as your sweet hands,
carress my body...
and your sweet voice,
carreses my soul.
The windswept desert,
with it's glorius flowers,
and dancing gypsies footprints,
Is like my heart,
Swept clean of pain,
Bloosoming again,
With echos of the past,
etched forever in it.
Can you look to me,
and see what I feel,
and know that,
admist all this,
it could be real?
are you going,
to take this to heart?
or just simpley let it be,
another etching,
on my heart?
Faded
Faded in time
You spoke in rhyme
At first I thought I would never meet you
But from the first moment I saw your face
the stars fell from the heavens
And the world stopped moving around me
Your sweet gental embraces
make me feel like finally coming out from my hiding places
Into the sunlight
Where I used to think that no dream of mine could ever come true
But you have proved me wrong
Beyond my thoughts
Beyond my dreams
My world is as it should be
For once I can truly say
That I am finally happy
You eyes so intense
Your soul captures me in ways I never thought I know
And as the wind seems to carry me away these days
In my heart you and I will never ever part
And as I grow
and as I go
along this path
and sometimes away from you
into the mountians
and close to the shores
In my heart I hold my universe
And still these days
Even though it has been so long since that first moment
You can still bring me to my knees in a single sigh
Make my heart cry out to you in one single smile
And make the stars fall from the heavens
and the world stop moving around me
Only you my love
Sweet Dreams
Don't fall away
These precious moments bring back the comfort in my life
Watching you
amidst the trees
You have the gentalness of the winters breeze
do you know you hold my heart so closely?
do you know that with your every word
my heart is bound more into this thing we dare to call love
dare to call a dream
and dare to call life
I can still see you
hovering above me
an angel?
Yes
The one in my dreams
You call my name
and my body is stopped
and the sweetness of life comes forth to claim me
The universe is at our feet
and the sweetness of this life captures my soul
Like nothing has ever done before.
Freedom
"Freedom Begins with a kiss, and ends in a sigh..."
Freed
From the chains
from the leather that has bound me
Freed
And from this comes a sense of immortality
Can you see me?
Can you feel me?
The fallen angel who has now come forth from the darkness
From the pits of utter despair
And is once again flying
Once again found laughing
Can't you see the sparkle in my eyes
My soul is floating free
And we lay under the stars and moonlight
The flower from my hands is given to you
in the sweetest form and softest touch
You gaze at me
and make me feel like the angels even hold me high
the touch from your lips are enough for me
to last me for the rest of this lifetime
All I need is right here in your arms
And my heart is finally open again
I am in the sweetest love I've ever known
My soul is freed
I am freed
Finally allowed to wander this earth
Finally allowed to love
And to live
Freed
