Mr X: Don't unlock doors you're not prepared to go through, Agent Scully.
(yeah, that's
pretty much it, there's not a lot of "isms" in this ep)
Back To Season
4's Isms and Quotes
Mulder: So which one of us gets to
use the stun gun on Bruno Houtman back there?
---
Mulder: So why would she stab her
boyfriend through the ear? The magic was gone?
---
Scully: Mulder, take a look at this.
You see this smeariness here? I'm thinking that it's heat damage.With the
uh heater sitting under the film right there that the emulsion probably
melted.
Mulder: So you think that might make it look like she posed, screaming, for a passport photo?
Scully: ...Plus the film is two years out of date..that...
Mulder: Oh...
Scully: ...that the photographic chemistry could have changed...
Mulder: Yeah...
Scully: ...the dyes fade... they... all right, so what's your theory?
Mulder: I'm not sure I have a theory.
---
Mulder: ...He claimed that by concentrating
on an unexposed film negative he could create a photographic representation
of what he saw in his mind. He did landscapes... uh cathedrals... the
Queen of England....
Scully: Thoughtographs.
---
Mulder: ...Then those photos wouldn't
be his fantasies, they would be his nightmares.
Scully: What the hell does it matter
now?
Mulder: Because I want to know.
Scully: I don't.
Back To Season
4's Isms and Quotes
Pitcher: Hey,
quit complaining. Y'know, we already had to move home plate because you
BITCHED about the mud.
---
Scully: (Noticing
Mulder's playin' around w/ a baseball) Meanwhile, I've quit the FBI and
become a spokesman for the Ab-Roller.
Mulder: (Putting
ball under Scully's nose) Smell that. (She does) That's perfume. Eau De
Ball.
---
Scully: Mulder,
if you had to do without a cell-phone for two minutes you'd lapse into
catatonic schizophrenia.
---
Mulder: ...If
I had to settle down, build a home? It'd be a place like this.
Scully: It'd
be like living in Mayberry.
---
Sheriff: Hi,
I'm Sheriff Andy Taylor.
Mulder: For
real?!?
---
Sheriff: By
the way, this is my deputee Barney.
Mulder: Fife?
Barney: Paster!
---
Mulder: There's
something rotten in Mayberry.
---
Mulder: Well,
just find yourself a man with a spotless genetic makeup and a really high
tolerance for being second-guessed and start pumping out the little uber-Scullies.
Scully: What about your family?
Mulder: Well,
aside from the need for corrective lenses and the tendency to be abducted
by eXtraterrestrials involved in an international governmental conspiracy,
the Mulder family passes
genetic muster.
---
Mulder: Scully,
I never saw you as a mother before... (aaaawwwww)
---
Scully: You
still planning on making a home here?
Mulder: Nah. Not if I can't get the Knicks game.
Scully: Just as long as bundling infanticide doesn't weigh into your decision... G'night Mulder.
Mulder: G'night
MOM...
---
Scully: They
really went caveman on them.
---
Mulder: (After
deputee gets his gun and left) Uh, that was a little bit too Chuck Bronson
for me, Scully.
---
Mulder: (having
a hell of a hard time of pushing pigs outta their pen and gives up for
a little while) Scully, would you think less of me as a man if I told you
I was kind of eXcited right now? (the pigs just stay there, not moving)
There some secret farmer trick to get these things moving?
Scully: I don't know... (Babe impersonation) Naaa-ram-meeuuul! NAA-RAAM-MEEUUULL!!!!
Mulder: Yeah, that'll work.
Scully: I babysat my nephew this weekend. He watches Babe 15 times a day!
Mulder: And people
call *ME* spooky.
---
Mulder: (gasps)
Oh no! (Shows Scully a newspaper with the headline ELVIS PRESLEY DEAD AT
42)
---
Mulder: Which
means that when Edmund was a kid he could ground the other two for playing
with his things?
Back To Season
4's Isms and Quotes
Teliko
- 4x04
Mulder: Hey, I heard you were down
here slicin' and dicin'. Who's the lucky stiff?
---
Mulder: (looks at the black guy who
lost all his skin pigments and now is completely white) There's a Michael
Jackson joke in here somewhere but I can't quite find it.
---
Scully: Mulder, not everything is
a labyrinth of dark conspiracy. And not everybody is... is plotting to
deceive, enveigle and obfuscate.
---
Pendrell: Shouldn't we wait for Agent
Scully? Just so I won't have to repeat myself.
Mulder: She's not coming.
Pendrell: Why not?
Mulder: She had a date. (Pendrell reacts and is speachless) Breathe, Agent Pendrell. She's with a dead man. She's doing an autopsy.
---
Scully: Where are you?
Mulder: Off to water the seeds of
doubt.
---
Ambassador: ...I'm afraid you won't
believe it.
Mulder: You'd be surprised at what
I believe, sir.
---
Mulder: I think this was the getaway
vehicle. He didn't even touch his Jello.
---
Scully: ...Why would he leave is own
country to come here?
Mulder: Free cable.
Back To Season
4's Isms and Quotes
The
Field Where I Died - 4x05
FBI: ATF intelligence reports were
weak. It was our man Spooky that found Ephesian in a bunker ATF didn't
even know was there.
---
Skinner: ...we won't have another
Waco on our hands. We'll have Jonestown.
---
Scully: Time is flying and we got
6 wives to question. My estimate is 12 more hours of fire and brimstone
and not a second about Sidney.
---
'Sarah': 26th
of November, 1863. I was here. (To Mulder) As were you. This is the field
where I watched you die.
---
Mulder: (eXtremely
upset and fed-up) You... you were there, Scully! You saw it. You heard
it. Why can't you feel it?(calms down) How
would I know
about a bunker in a field where I've never been?!
---
Scully: And why
is it that Vernon Ephesian is reported by you a paranoid sociopath because
he believes that he lived in Greece 100 years ago and you're not even though
you believe you died in
that field?
---
(Mulder is talking
about his past lives...)
Mulder: Ghetto
streets. Shattered glass. Bodies of the dead. I'm a woman. Jewish woman.
Poland. My son is with me. He is Samantha... My father, he's dead in the
street. He is Scully... An officer
(Gestapo). He
is Cancerman. Evil returns as evil... My husband is taken away from me.
He is Melissa...
Mulder: (From the field as Sullivan Biddle) My sergeant is also dead. He is Scully.
---
Mulder: ...we'd
been friends together, in other lifetimes, always. Would it have changed
some of the ways we looked at one another?
Scully: Even
if I knew for certain, I wouldn't change a day... Well, maybe that flukeman
thing, I coulda lived without that thing just fine.
---
Melissa: I want
to believe...
---
(the end monologue, I love it)
Mulder: At times
I almost dream. I too have spent a life the sage's way. And tread once
more familiar paths. Perchance I've perished in an arrogant self-reliance
an age ago, and in that act of
prayer for one
more chance went up so earnest, so... Instinct with better light let in
by death that life was blotted out not so completely, but scattered wrecks-
enough of it to remain dim memories. As now when seems once more... the
goal in sight again.
Back To Season
4's Isms and Quotes
Scully: Well, he started taking the drug 5 years ago and he went through... ooh, he took a lot of it. 19 100-tablet refills.
Mulder: (checkin' out a nurse that passed by) Wow.
Scully: (thinking he's talking about the same thing she is) Yeah.
---
Mulder: Everybody's doing it. (doing
cosmetic surgery)
---
Mulder: What do you suppose these
are? (Floor markings)
Scully: What?
Mulder: These 5 marks on your brand
new state-of-the-art floor.
---
(Mulder traces pentagram with blood
and a tongue depressor)
Scully: Mulder, if you want to connect
the dots here, you should look at the facts.
---
Mulder: I'm not a doctor, Scully, but you got to be pushing pretty hard to mistake a beer belly for a bald head. Not to mention door number 3.
---
Mulder: Are you aware that Dr. Lloyd
is claiming that he was possessed during the operation?
Nurse: (Laughs) yeah, I guess it's
cheaper than malpractice insurance.
---
Scully: There's magic going on here.
Only it's being done with silicone, collagen and a well-placed scalpel.
---
Scully: Well if it's that simple,
why don't you put out an APB for someone riding a broom and wearing a tall
black hat?
---
Mulder: (Noticing broom at door) Probable
cause.
Scully: On the suspicion of being
a witch?
---
Scully: What could she have been doing
in here?
Mulder: Probably not tax returns.
---
Scully: So this man committed these
murders in order to make himself beautiful.
Mulder: Everybody wants to be beautiful,
Scully.
---
Franklin: (After putting them into
woman's stomach) I hope that those instruments were properly sterilized.
Back To Season
4's Isms and Quotes
Musings
Of A Cigarette Smoking Man - 4x07
Byers: Frohike's close.
Frohike: Don't use my name! What the hell's wrong with you? Now I'll have to kill you.
Byers: Langly and I performed...
Frohike: He's everywhere! Everywhere. He'll kill me.
Mulder: Noone would kill you, Frohike. You're just a little puppy-dog.
Frohike: I don't utter another syllable until a TSM-25 countermeasure filter is activated.
(CSM's listening in...)
Byers: No electronic surveillance known can cut through the TSM-25. (CSM smiles)
---
CSM: I'd rather
read the worst novel ever written that sit through the best movie ever
read.
Bill Mulder: My one year old just said his first word.
CSM: What was the word?
Bill Mulder: JFK.
CSM: (Smiling) Catch you later, Mulder.
---
General: Cigarette?
CSM: No thank
you sir, I never touch them.
---
CSM: Shouldn't
smoke those, Lee. I'm reading studies that say they can kill you.
Lee: Well, Mr.
Hunt, sir, I heard about those reports. (Coughs) And they are no doubt
correct(throws down butt).
---
CSM: You have
enough plausible deniability to last the rest of your nine lives.
---
CSM: What I
don't want to see is the Bills winning the Super Bowl. As long as I live
that doesn't happen.
MIBS 3: Could be tough, sir. Buffalo wants it bad.
CSM: So did the Soviets in '80.
MIBS 3: What, you saying you rigged the Olympic hockey game?
CSM: What's the matter? Don't you believe in miracles?
---
CSM: Payback's
a bitch, Ivan.
---
CSM: ...I've
never killed anybody.
Deep Throat:
Maybe I'm *NOT* the liar.
---
CSM: (After the
Ramon Y Clef disaster on bench) Life is like a box of chocolates. A cheap,
thoughtless perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable because
all you get back is another box of chocolates. So you're stuck with this
undefinable whipped mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's
nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while there's a ... a peanut
butter cup or a... english toffee. But they're gone too fast and taste...
fleeting. So you end up with nothing but... broken bits filled with hardened
jelly and teeth- shattering nuts. If you're desperate
enough to eat
those then... all you got left is a... is an empty box, filled with useless
brown paper wrappers.
Back To Season
4's Isms and Quotes
Scully: Don't you think the car might have been searched at least once already?
Mulder: Not by me.
---
Kid: Here it is. I've been, you know,
detailing it. Dropped the bed shell, did the decals, stuff like that.
Scully: Thank you.
Kid: Honest to god serial killer owned my car? For real?!?
---
Roche: Mulder. Long time no see. Got
a new partner.
---
Mulder: 16 victims, John. How come
you said there were only 13?
Roche: I dunno. Yeah, 13 sounds more
magical, you know.
---
Roche: How 'bout this. Sink one from
there and I'll tell you.
(and of course, our Mulder sinks a
good one, withough even tryin')
Roche: (Slightly surprised) Trust
a child molester?
---
Roche: (goes over to the guard,
after Mulder punches him) This man... this man hit me!
Guard: (Not sympathetic) ...I
didn't see it.
Scully: (Coming in) I did...
Back To Season
4's Isms and Quotes
Scully: ...What I'm saying is that
there is a culture of lawlessness that is preventing me from doing my job.
---
Krycek: ...you go underground, you
gotta learn to live with the rats.
Mulder: (Slaps his hat off) Sure you had no trouble adapting.
Krycek: These men are pathetic revolutionaries, who kill innocent Americans in the name of bone-head ideologies.
Mulder: You're full of crap, Krycek.
You're an invertebrate scum sucker who's moral dipstick's about two drops
short of bone-dry.
---
Mulder: (Looking at Coal) What did
you get for Halloween, Charlie Brown?
---
Krycek: You can't... you can't leave
me out here. I'll freeze to death!
Skinner: Just think warm thoughts.
---
Femme: I can help you, Agent Mulder.
Mulder: Find my cell phone?
---
Mulder: I'm leaving the window rolled
down. If I'm not back in a week I'll call Agent Scully to come bring you
a bowl of water. (Krycek starts cursing at him in Russian)
Mulder: Whad'you say to me?
Krycek: What?!?
Mulder: You called me a bad name.
Back To Season
4's Isms and Quotes
Mulder: I'm not going to die.
Prisoner: No? Why not?
Mulder: I have to live long enough
to kill that man Krycek.
---
CSM: (Seeing TDM light up) It's a nasty habit. It's bad for the health.
TDM: Health is the least of my concerns at the moment.
CSM: Yes... (Lights up himself)
---
CSM: Wake the Russian bear and it
may find we've stolen its honey.
---
Scully: Several of the men on this
committee are lawyers. It is my experience that lawyers ask the wrong question
only when they don't want the right answer.
---
Mulder: (To Scully) I can put my arms
around you... both of them.
Scully: When did you get back here?
Mulder: It's been a long strange trip...
---
Mulder: May we have a talk with you?
Have a little off-the-record chat?
---
Mulder: Did he ever mention Black
Cancer?
Prisoner: Oh yeah!
Scully: What did he say?
Prisoner: Was developed by the Soviets...
Saddam used it in the gulf...
Scully: You mean, used as biowarfare?
Prisoner: That's why they made those
servicement take all them pills.
---
Mulder: You said there were two...
devices. What happened to the other BOMB?
Prisoner: I ate it.
Mulder: (Attacking him) You wanna
learn about anarchy? You don't tell me where the other bomb is and I'll
make sure you spend your prison time on your bigoted hands and knees putting
a big smile
on some convict's face!
Back To Season
4's Isms and Quotes
El
Mundo Gira - 4x11
Mama: Two brothers. One woman. Trouble.
---
Scully: Mulder, this happened how
long ago?
Mulder: Tres diaz. Mue Incredible,
no?
---
Scully: Only the smell... Mulder, you brought me out under the pretense of investigating a strange death. Can you tell me why we're standing out here in the middle of a field looking at a dead goat?
---
(after Mulder lectures about different
colors of rain)
Scully: Purple rain???
Mulder: Yeah. Great album. Deeply
flawed movie, though.
---
Mulder: The victim and many of the
witnesses are illegal immigrants; migrant farm workers. I thought it might
be important to talk to them before they migrated.
---
Scully: (From West Side Story) Maria.
Maria. I just met a girl named Maria.
Mulder: Doesn't make a whole lot of sense, Scully.
Scully: It makes perfect sense, Mulder.
Admit it, you fell for it. Your 'fortean' event turned out to be nothing
more than the oldest story in the world- 2 men, 1 woman, trouble.
---
(out of no where, Mulder goes....)
Mulder: Maria, Maria!, Mariiiaaa!!!!!
(Scully looks at him, like he's insane,
from the sudden outburst)
---
INS Agent: Let's see... Ok. We have
a Jose Feliciano. We have Juan Valdez. We have Cesar Chavez. We have Placido
Domingo here. But I don't see any Alario Buente.
---
INS: Call it anything you want, but
this is an age-old story.
Mulder: Ya know, I've heard that.
---
Mulder: They think he's the Chupacabra.
INS: That may be. But I will tell you
with a tremendous degree of certainty this guy is not Erik Estrada... (Shows
Mulder the guy's claimed name on the paperwork)
---
INS: (After Alario recounts the Fortean
event) This guy is *better* than Erik Estrada.
---
Scully: Mulder, I know you don't want
to hear this but I think the only aliens in this story are not the villains.
They're the victims.
---
Scully: (Seeing the truck full of
toasted goats) Uh, more goats...
---
Mulder: The truth is... nobody cares.
Back To Season
4's Isms and Quotes
Kaddish
- 4x12
Mulder: Yeah, spectral figures are
not often known to leave fingerprints. Casper never did.
---
Scully: The right to free expression
doesn't extend to murder.
---
Brunjes: You work for them too, don't
you?
Mulder: Who?
Brunjes: You know who. You look like you might be one yourself.
Mulder: (Laughs)
---
Brunjes: What kind of Jew trick is
this?
Mulder: A Jew pulled it off 2000 years
ago...
---
Mulder: It seems pretty redundant, doesn't it? Messing up somebody you've already killed? I think they were afraid.
Scully: Afraid?
Mulder: Afraid that the man they hated enough to kill wasn't really dead.
---
Mulder: (Pulling book out) What's
this? A little bedtime reading?
---
Dad: ...It was self defense.
Mulder: HANGING a man is self defense?!?
Back To Season
4's Isms and Quotes
Mulder: I made a last ditch effort to get out of it, but the Bureau's holding fast to its federal employee vacation policy. I haven't taken a day off in 4 years so either I take a week vacation now or they start NOT paying me for 8 weeks vacation time...(goes on and on and on...)
Scully: (Interrupt him) Why don't I have a desk?
Mulder: What do you mean? (Scully holds up Mulder's nameplate)... I always assumed that that was your area (signal somewhere in the back)
Scully: (kinda sad) Over there...
Mulder: Okay, so we... we'll have them
send down another desk and there won't be any room to move around here
but we can put them really close together face to face. Maybe we can play
some
BATTLESHIP!
Scully: So what is it you want me to keep an eye on?
Mulder: That contact that we met last night at the Wall. Who had the distinction of being present for a first. That being you abandoning me during questioning. In the future I'll make sure that all those people being interviewed provide you with a multimedia laser show to keep your interest maintained.
---
Scully: I'm not going.
Mulder: What do you mean?
Scully: Your contact, while interesting in the context of science fiction was... at least in my memory, recounting a poorly veiled synopsis of an episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle.
Mulder: Eenie Weenie Chili Beanie, the spirits are about to speak?
Scully: Rocky and Bullwinkle are looking
for an Upsidasian mine. Boris Battenoff alters the road signs which causes
them to walk onto a secret military base where they are picked up by a
car with
no windows, and no door locks and
there are silent explosions from a compound called Hush-a-boom.
Mulder: So you're refusing an assignment based on the adventures of (Boris voice) Moose and Squirrel.
---
Scully: Where will you be?
Mulder: Ironically enough, it's personal.
It's a... place I always wanted to go. What I anticipate to be a spiritual
journey. I hope to discover something about myself. Maybe you should do
the same.
---
Mulder: I'm just at that special place
and I wanted to share it with you. (has on Elvis shades) You know that
Elvis bought all the furniture in just 30 minutes?
---
Scully: Look, Mulder, I have to go.
Mulder: What do you got, a date or something? (Scully keeps quiet) You, you're kidding!
Scully: I have everything under control. I will talk to you later. (Mulder does a Elvis dance)
---
Scully: Ed, I... I... uh, I dont go
out much. I think the last time I went out on a date was to see Glengary
Glen Ross. And the characters in the movie had a much better time.
---
Mulder: And congratulations for making
a personal appearance in the X-Files for a second time. A world record.
---
Mulder: ...Case closed on Boris Battenoff,
which is really a shame because I was thinking of having an NY tattoed
on my ass to commemorate the Yankees' World Series Victory? Better late
than
never, huh?
---
Mulder: All this because I... because
I didn't get you a desk?
Scully: Not everything is about you,
Mulder. This is my life.
Back To Season
4's Isms and Quotes
Scully: What
about the morgue attendant?
Mulder: Somebody
cold-cocked him and stole his clothes.
---
Scully: What
are we doing here?
Mulder: Did
I mention that Mr. Betts had no head?
Scully: Yes,
so? I mean, you're not suggesting that a headless body kicked his
way out of a locked morgue freezer, are you?
---
Mulder: Yeah,
but why take a headless one and leave one of those top-dollar bodies behind?
---
Mulder: (looking
through waste)Ooooh, I think I got the toy
surprise.
Scully: Leonard
Betts.
Mulder: That's
his head, but where's his body?
---
Mulder: I wanna
see how he lives.
Scully: Lived.
Mulder: Lived.
---
Scully: Well,
because... uh... I experienced an unusual degree of
post-mortem
galvanic response.
Mulder: The
head moved...
Scully: It blinked
at me... (Mulder laughs)
---
Mulder: Blinked
or winked?... You're afraid to cut into it.Scully, you're not saying it's...
alive, are you?
---
Scully: The remains
are dipped in the epoxy and once it's cured the specimen can be sliced
for analysis.
Mulder: Or you
got yourself a nice paperweight.
---
Mulder: Chuck,
would you believe that this man's head had been
decapitated?
Chuck: Aaaw,
man! No way!
Mulder: Way!
---
Mulder: Siskel or Ebert? What's the story?
---
Mulder: On the
other hand, how evolved can a man be who drives a
Dodge Dart?
---
Mulder: Do you think mom knows her dead son is tooling around in her car?
---
Scully: Well,
whatever he was doing, he's taking the secret to his
grave.
Mulder: Yeah,
for the second time.
---
Mulder: (after
seeing bodies in the coffins on tables) Will the
real Leonard
Betts please stand up!
Back To Season
4's Isms and Quotes
Mulder: Scully? (gives flowers to her)
I uhh, I... stole these from some guy with a broken leg down the hall.
He, uh, won't be able to catch me.
---
Scully: For all the times that I have
said that to you I'm as certain about this as you have ever been.
---
Mulder: ... going through some of
those hard files before stuff
starts disappearing and call me an
early bird but I think I found
something.
---
Scully: ...I think we both know that..
right now, the truth is in
me. And tht's where I
need to pursue it, as soon as possible.
---
Mulder: (To Skinner) They've taken
a turn. A pretty big U turn by the looks of it. This is a file directory
from a federally operated fertility clinic. Agent Scully's name is on this
file. Although I'm pretty sure, pretty *damn* sure she's never undergone
treatment for infertility.
---
Skinner: You can't ask the truth of
a man who trades in lies.
---
Byers: A modified clipper chip we
cannibalized from a government
surplus Army field decoder.
Frohike: We bought it back from the
Chinese.
---
Mulder: You guys ever been to the Lombard Research Facility?... Well, pick out something black and sexy and prepare to do some funky poaching.
---
CSM: It's funny. I always
thought of you as Fox Mulder's patron.
You'd think under your aegis that
he wouldn't be consigned to a corner in the basement.
Skinner: At least he doesn't
take an elevator up to get to work...
CSM: You think I'm the devil,
Mr. Skinner?
---
CSM: (After making deal w/ Skinner)
Oh, Mr. Skinner? Which way is the elevator?
---
Frohike: Smile, Byers. You're
on Candid Camera.
Langly: External security has been
breached.
---
Mulder: The truth will save you, Scully.
The truth will save both
of us.
Back To Season
4's Isms and Quotes
Unrequited
- 4x16
Skinner: right now I'm flying by the seat of my pants.
Mulder: You mean there's no procedure outlined for an invisible assassin?
---
Mulder: (Seeing the SWAT teams) There
goes the neighborhood.
Back To Season
4's Isms and Quotes
Tempus
Fugit - 4x17
Scully: Mulder, you have never remembered my birthday in the four years I've known you.
Mulder: That's the way I like to celebrate them, is every four years. It's like dog years that way.
Scully: Dog years. Thank you.
---
Mulder: Oh, I got something
for you.
Scully: Oh, you've *got* to
be kidding me...
Mulder: It's just something
that reminded me of you.
Scully: What? An alien implant?
Mulder: Two, actually. I made
them into ear rings.
---
Scully: You sure know how to make
a girl feel special on her birthday.
---
Mulder: Nine minutes, Scully. Do you remember the last time you remember seeing nine minutes?
---
Mulder: Does your policy cover the
acts of extraterrestials?
---
Diverman: Have you worked at
this depth before?(about ocean depth)
Mulder: Not eXactly.
Diverman: What eXactly is your
eXperience?
Mulder: Once I, uh... I got
a quarter off of the deep end of the 'Y' pool...
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4's Isms and Quotes
(place is messy)
Mulder: Remember this place?
Scully: I remember being amazed
at what some people will call home.
Mulder: You have to admit the
man had an enduring sense of style.
Scully: Only MaX Fenig and
you would appreciate living like this.
---
MaX: And, uh, I should probably mention that I do this at great risk to my own health and safety but hey, when every day is just another day you're gonna get kidnapped by a bunch of little grey dudes from outer space what's a few CIA spooks to worry about?
---
Scully: She's in a mental institution.
Mulder: I... I'd go with you but I'm.. I'm afraid they'd lock me up too.
Scully: Me too.
---
Mulder: More people are trying to
get their hands on this thing than a Tickle-Me Elmo doll.
---
Scully: Mulder, where are you? Mulder, I'm standing outside an airplane bathroom where I've got the man who shot Pendrell locked up.
Scully: What?
Mulder: Yeah, looks like I'm gonna miss the inflight movie. And it was something starring Steve Guttenberg.
---
MaX Fenig's sister: These tapes,
you don't mind if I keep them?
Mulder: No. I think you...
you should consider yourself the sole curator of the Max Fenig rolling
multimedia library and archive and you should probably get taX-eXempt status
as soon as you can. This stuff could be worth something some day.
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4's Isms and Quotes
Synchrony
- 4x19
Mulder: ...Gave a rather detailed description of the old man.
Scully: What was he wearing, a long black robe and carrying a scythe?
---
Scully: Hypothermic? Mulder, this man is an icicle.
---
Mulder: So what's your... medical
opinion, Scully?
Scully: Well, my best guess
would be that he's been exposed to some kind of chemical refridgerant like
liquid nitrogen. Possibly even ingested it.
Mulder: Well, you see what
happens when you drink and drive?
---
Mulder: The security officer who's now in the morgue has a body temperature a little south of Frosty the Snowman.
---
Mulder: Well, if he's already dead
he's got nothing to lose.
---
Mulder: The hotel manager says
he's been living here for 5 days.
Scully: I'm not sure if living
is the word I'd use on this place.
---
Mulder: Although common sense may
rule out the possibility of time travel, the laws of quantum physics certainly
do not. In case you forgot, that's from your graduate thesis. You were
a lot more
open-minded when you were a youngster.
---
Mulder: Puts a whole new spin on being
your own worst enemy, eh?
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4's Isms and Quotes
Small
Potatoes - 4x20
Nurse: Is he from out of state?
Amanda: Another planet.
---
Amanda: He dropped by my apartment
one day and... one thing sorta led to another.
Mulder: But the baby's father is an alien.
Amanda: No, no, I didn't say he was an alien. I said he's from another planet. His name is Luke Skywalker. He's what is known as a jedi knight...(Mulder gives Scully a 'look')
Scully: (Smiling) Did he have a light sabre?
Amanda: No, he didn't bring it. He did sing his song for me though. (sings Star Wars Theme song..dun a da daaa daaa da da da...)
Scully: How many times have you seen Star Wars, Amanda?
Amanda: 368. I should break 400 by Memorial Day.
Scully: (nods, thinking this is just great...)...'Kay. Thank you. (Mulder leaves)
Amanda: Oh, wait a minute. Wait. you know these... these four other babies that were... born around here with tails?
Scully: Uh huh.
Amanda: There couldn't be any chance... Luke's the father, is there?
Scully: (thinks "well, that's a thought")
---
Mulder: Take your best shot,
Scully. But I think there's a lot more going on here than Luke Skywalker
and his light sabre.
Scully: I think you're right,
Mulder. (Mulder's surprised)
---
Mulder: How would this happen?
Scully: Birds and the bees and the monkey babies, Mulder.
Mulder: Birds do it, bees do it, even educated MDs do it. All five women shared the same OBGYN didn't they?
Scully: Well, yeah. He's the only one in town.
---
Mulder: So much for not putting all
your eggs in one basket.
---
Mulder: Oh, so you're saying there was romance involved.
Van Blundht: Why is that so hard to believe?... Just cause I was born with a tail no woman would want me?... Maybe I got personality. Ever think of that?
---
Mulder: Well, if you're waiting for
my usual theory as to what's going on, I don't have it.
---
Mulder: yeah, but when and where would he have had the opportunity to 'slip it to them'?
---
Mulder: These women don't look like
the type who do a lot of solo drinking.
---
Mulder: Have a theory, if you want to hear it.
Scully: Van Blundth somehow physically transformed into his captor then walked out the door leaving noone the wiser?
Mulder: Scully, should we be picking out china patterns or what?!?
Scully: Mulder, why can't you just go for the simple answer? With that blow to the head, the deputy might just as well identified McGruff the crime dog as his attacker.
---
Scully: But what are you saying?
That... that... Van Blundht is an alien?
Mulder: Not unless they have
trailer parks in space.
---
Mulder: Hey Scully, if you could
be somebody else for a say who would it be?
Scully: Hopefully myself.
Mulder: That's so... boring.
---
Scully: Alright then, Eleanor
Roosevelt.
Mulder: (fed-up) Aiiee! Can't
be a dead person.
Scully: Why the hell not?
Mulder: Because...
---
Blundht as "Mulder": (Comes out of bathroom and has a serious expression) All clear.
---
Mulder: (comes in and sees Scully
cutting with bone saw, covers up his coffee) So what killed Eddie the Monkey
Man?
---
(LOL, ROFLMAO at the scene where Mulder accidentaly broke Eddie's father's tail!!! Then Mulder tries to put it back together behind his back, while hoping Scully wouldn't notice what Mulder was doing!!!)
---
Amanda: You know, I thought they would
let me stay so long in the hospital because I had such really really great
insurance. Turns out they're just keeping me because they think I'm sorta
crazy.
(chuckles) They want to make sure
I'm safe around my baby.
Blundht as "Mulder": Free cable...
---
Blundht as "Mulder": That's official
FBI business.
---
Mulder: I was just here. Where did I go?
---
Blundht as "Mulder": I think the only
thing here is... small potatoes.
---
Skinner: You spelled Federal
Bureau of Invesigations wrong...
Blundht as "Mulder:" It's a
typo.
Skinner: ... Twice.
---
Blundht as "Mulder": (Looks at name
plaque) "Fox"? Brother... (Then sits down, puts feet up, and falls over)
---
Blundht as "Mulder": (sees Mulder's office and "I Want To Believe" poster) Good night! This is where my taX dollars go?
---
Blundht as "Mulder": (after looking
around Mulder's apartment) Where the hell do I sleep?
---
(On Mulder's message machine)
Langly: Mulder, Langly. You gotta see this! An online associate of ours who shall remain anonymous has figureed out a way to digitize the Zapruder footage so he can extrapolate a bird's eye view of the Dealy Plaza at the exact moment of the assassination. And you'll never believe where the third shot came from!
Frohike: Tell him about the cheesesteaks!
Langly: Oh, yeah, and Frohike, Byers and I are goin' out for cheese steaks. Are you down with that? Uh, erase this once you hear it. (during this, Blunht as "Mulder" goes through Mulder's stuff)
Blundht as "Mulder:" Geeks for friends... (then Mulder gets a sexy call, Blunht as "Mulder" eXcitedly grabs a pencil but it turns out to be a phone sex solicitation and throws pencil down in disgust. He then goes to a mirror and...)
Blundht as "Mulder:" (Flashes badge, that's upside down) FBI. F... B... I... (sees it and turns it upright) FBI... You lookin' at me? (looks around) There ain't nobody else here, you must be lookin' at me. (in a total GQ magazine posture) You want a piece of this? (swings out his gun, then drops the clip, picks it up, puts it in backwards, and points it to the mirror) You're a damn good lookin' man.
---
Mulder: What's with the hat (nods
to Blundht's hat that says "Superstar")
Van Blundht: My court appointed therapist makes me wear it. She says it's meant to bolster my self-esteem.
Mulder: Does it?
Van Blundht: Not really... The other inmates just beat me up and take it from me, which would be okay eXcept every week she brings me a new *HAT*! Plus they keep me on some kind of muscle relaXant so I... I can't make faces the way I used to. Did you tell them to do that? (Mulder doesn't respond) Is uh, is Agent *SCULLY* here?
Mulder: What did you want to talk to me about, Eddie.
Van Blundht: I just think it's funny. I was born a loser but you're one by choice.
Mulder: On what do you base that astute assessment?
Van Blundht: eXperience. You should live a little. Treat yourself. God knows I would, if I were you.
---
Scully: I don't imagine you need to
be told this, Mulder. But you're not a loser.
Mulder: yeah, but I'm no Eddie Van
Blundth either. Am I?
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4's Isms and Quotes
Zero
Sum - 4x21
Misty: You had one 15 minutes
ago.
Jane: 45 minutes.
Misty: Why don't you get one
of those patches or that gum?
Jane: What do you think I'm
chewing?
---
Skinner: I needed some sleep.
Mulder: Is that why you're
taking out the garbage at 4 in the morning?
---
CSM: A man digs a hole, he risks falling
into it.
---
CSM: Yours isn't the first gun I've
had pointed in my face, Mr. Skinner. I'm not afraid to die.
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4's Isms and Quotes
Elegy
- 4x22
Mulder: What is that look, Scully?
Scully: I would have thought that after 4 years you'd know exactly what that look was.
Mulder: What, you don't believe in ghosts?
---
Mulder: Sounds more like a disembodied
soul.
Scully: Which is just another name
for a ghost, is it not?
---
(talking to mental patients at a mental hospital)
Mulder: Hi. I wanted to ask if anybody used the pay phone out in the hallway there on Friday night - because somebody called the police and reported a murder...
(no one responds)
Alpert: (whispers to Mulder) Sloppy Joe night.
Mulder: ...(out loud) That was Sloppy Joe night.
Chuck: Oh, that was me. I did
it. I admit it, I did it.
I'm just a human being, after all.
Alpert: Chuck! Tell the truth.
Chuck: No. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I ... I lied. I lied but I'm just a human being.
---
Mulder: (holding up a pic of the latest victim) Anybody recognize this woman?
(Several patients slowly raise their hands.)
Chuck: That's the lady that got murdered.
(all the patients starts to respond)
Patients: Yeah she's the one ...I recognize
her ...
I know her ... She was murdered ...
Scully: (holds up a TV Guide
w/ Jay Leno's pic on the cover)
And, does anybody recognize this man?
Patients: Oh, yes, yes, he did
it ... He did it ...
He's the murderer ... He's a very
funny man ... He smiles a lot.
(Scully gives Mulder a look and walks out)
---
Mulder: Not ordinarily, unless there
was a more compleX psychology at work, like... (whispers) pronounced mental
illness.
---
Chuck: I can't help it. I'm only a human being...
---
Mulder: (angrily to Scully) You can
believe what you want to believe, Scully, but you can't hide the truth
from me because if you do, then you're working against me ... and yourself.
(in a softer tone) I know what you're afraid of. I'm afraid of the
same thing.
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4's Isms and Quotes
Scully: They'd like to ask you some questions. I told them about your condition. you don't have to speak to them if you don't want to.
Mulder: You mean not without my attorney present.
---
Mulder: (after seeing all the evidence
against himself) Do the words Orenthal James Simpson mean anything to you?
---
Scully: Mulder, I'm going to
get you out of here.
Mulder: You're a doctor, not
a lawyer, Scully.
---
Scully: The drug in your system
already suggests other explanations.
Mulder: What, that I was partying
with a few senior citizens?
---
Mulder: I'm fine.
Scully: No, I am not going
to take that as an answer.
---
Dr. Goldstein: I did nothing
wrong.
Mulder: You put a hole in my
head!
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4's Isms and Quotes
Scully: ..I came here today, 4 years
later, to report on the illegitemacy of Agent Mulder's work. That it is
my scientific opinion... that he became, over the course of these years,
a victim. A victim of his own false hopes, and of his belief in the biggest
of lies.
---
Bill Jr: I'm sorry I'm late.
My ship got stuck in traffic. You get my birthday card?
Scully: Yes, I did. Thanks
for remembering this year.
Bill Jr: Well, once in a decade...
---
Arlinski: But the St. Elias
range? That's a long way to go for a hoax.
Mulder: Well, if you're gonna
go, why not go all the way?
---
Scully:This is your holy grail, Mulder. Not mine.
Mulder: What is that supposed to mean?
Scully: It just means proving to the world the existence of alien life is not my last dying wish.
Mulder: How about Santa Claus or the
Easter Bunny?
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4's Isms and Quotes