TOUS BOUS ARE FOREVER
Ladies and Gentlemen, for your reading pleasure, the beautiful and moving script for the widely acclaimed "Tous Bous Are Forever" - A Satire on JACT’s "Reading Greek" (currently only available as an English translation...feel free to come up with the Greek....:p) Starring:
Rowan Beale as ....The Little Shepherd Girl
Alistair Atkinson and Corisande Fenwick as....the Tous Bous
Anna Collar as....Kakos Anous
Becky Landsell as....Amy Kallista
And Dangerous Dave as.... Jamos Bondos
(scene: the hills outside Piraeus)
(enter Amy Kallista, the shepherd girl and Tous Bous)
AK: O shepherd girl, I am off to the market. Look after the cattle and don’t talk to strangers.
SG: Yes, Amy Kallista.
(Amy Kallista hugs Tous Bous and the shepherd girl, and exits)
(enter Kakos Anous)
SG: Look, a stranger! Can you see the stranger?
TB: Yes, I can see the stranger!
KA: Hello, O shepherd girl!
SG: I cannot speak to strangers.
TB: Do not speak to strangers!
KA: I am not a stranger, I am your friend!
SG: Why?
KA: I give you these blue ribbons as a sign of my friendship.
SG: You speak the truth, you are clearly a friend.
KA (drawing out gun): Ha Ha! I will take you and Tous Bous to the ship in the harbour and sell you!
SG&TB: Alas! We will die!
(Exit all, but Shepherd Girl drops one blue ribbon)
(Enter Amy Kallista)
AK: Where are Tous Bous and the Shepherd Girl? For I cannot see them!
(sees ribbon on floor)
Alas! A blue ribbon! The sign of Kakos Anous! O Zeus!
(Enter Jamos Bondos)
JB: Hello.
AK: Who are you, by Poseidon?
JB: The name is Bondos, Jamos Bondos.
AK: Come here and look! A blue ribbon! Can you see the blue ribbon? For I see the blue ribbon!
JB: Yes, I see the blue ribbon. For the blue ribbon is beautiful.
AK: But it is the sign of Kakos Anous!
JB: By Zeus, you speak the truth!
AK: He has stolen my sister the shepherd girl and Tous Bous.
JB: Alas, we will go out and rescue them.
AK: By Poseidon, you speak the truth! We will go!
(Exit Jamos Bondos and Amy Kallista)
(New scene: a ship in Piraeus Harbour, Tous Bous and the Shepherd Girl tied up and Kakos Anous laughing evilly)
KA: Ha ha ha!
SG: Oh dear! We are not safe!
TB: We are going to die!
KA: Yes
TB: Evil Anous, you are evil and will die an evil death!
KA: You are clearly ignoramuses.
SG: Do not joke, o Kakos Anous!
KA: Who cares about your Tous Bous?
SG: May she be happy, may she be healthy, may she be well….(repeats as
mantra)
(in bursts Jamos Bondos and Amy Kallista)
TB: Alas, we are going to die!
KA: You speak the truth!
TB&SG: Help! Help!
AK: Can you see the Tous Bous?
TB: Yes!
AK: Who is speaking?
TB: We are the Tous Bous!
JB: Look, I see the cattle, can you see the cattle?
AK: Yes, By Zeus! I can see the cattle! Look!
SG&TB: Come here and help! We are on the ship!
AK&JB: We will save you!
KA: You will fight me first!
JB: You are right! Fight!
(Kakos Anous fights Jamos Bondos and Amy Kallista, and gets shot)
KA: Alas! Alas! Aaah, by Poseidon: I am dying! I am dying! AAAh….(etc)
JB: Yes, for you are evil and you die an evil death!
(Kakos Anous dies slowly and with much procrastination)
TB&SG: We are saved! We are saved!
JB: You speak the truth!
AK: Thank you, o Jamos Bondos!
JB: It is because I love you, Amy Kallista
AK: I love you too, o Jamos Bondos!
JB: By Zeus, we love each other, o Amy Kallista! And I will look after your Tous Bous and your shepherd girl too!
TB: For now we are all happy!
THE END
Click here to hear the oxen!
COMMENTS MADE ABOUT THE DEBUT OF
"TOUS BOUS ARE FOREVER":
"Lots of mistakes but very good fun": Mr. Moss/Mossy
"Words fail me. But you should be glad that words fail me.": Nai the Psycho Killer
"Boring, unintelligent and unoriginal": See above
"Of course the audience laughed. They were so drunk that they would have laughed at anything at that point": ditto
"Oscar-winning material"
: everyone else
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