What had me spinning in a world of bliss just two day ago has now come full fold upon my soul and weighs me down like a thousand pounds of lead. Nights of delightful intoxications and wonderful sensations have come to haunt me. Why is it, whenever the mind beings to find peace in the normal the routine of things, and when you accept reality as a whole, something, or someone must come running full force to stab you in the back; Or, in this case, it embraces you with more than you are ready for? Mad caresses of silky flesh, and gentle lips have been flooding my thoughts so full of confusion that I am beginning to drown again. I want it all back, and I want it to never have come about. I want things the way they were before, so simple text. Yet, I thrive on this outer-limb that is so thin it I cannot even keep one toe on its tender branch. I am in love and in lust full confusion about my world. These intoxications of unreality have me dying and being re-born all at the same time. Why is it that I want what I cannot have? Or when I am finally able to obtain what I so desired, it finally becomes available to me, but only at the cost of something I am not so sure I ever want to give up? I think it’s about time to seek some inner space for emotional flow right now. I need this space. I need my thoughts to be clear, and make the right decisions right now. I have left the security blanket that I have had my entire life, my net has been revoked; now I must be careful not to fall off of the balance beam that is keeping me from the flames in the poisonous waters. Oh how do I wish to have the better of these two worlds, but I know for a fact that this could never happen. I don’t want to destroy anyone else’s status quo while I spiral into oblivion. Many people cannot take that trip and then back again. Some get lost and never come back. Robbie was nearing this void just recently, so he now knows what this is all about. I think that for the most part, people have no clue what it’s like to be so far gone that nothing matters to you any more; the world begins to hurt when you look at it, and everyone that looks at you turns ugly. Maybe I should do nothing for this, in which it is I crave; but is it right to deny yourself of what you have wanted for so long?? Time. Yes, it is time that I need. Time alone with my thoughts, and time to be sure I have made the right decisions. I need time to make sure I don’t fuck up, and time to let things progress along with my emotions and needs; along with the needs of the others I love. What is this situation I have been speaking of? Only I shall know, at least for now. When all of this is resolved my lovely watchers I shall spill what it is I speak of. Until then, it is up to you to fill in the blanks. Thank you, and goodnight!