My body is aroused with a mixture of hot and cold. Half of me freezes while the other half burns. My eyes are extremely heavy, it’s hard to keep them open. Last night my intention was to catch up on sleep, but somehow that did not happen, again. Why can’t I just fall asleep in his arms, forget this world and never wake up? I have all of these little things pulling me apart inside. Each one taking an organ and chewing and tugging and devouring me. Even I am pulling, and chewing, and devouring myself. I hurt all over, yet everything is perfect, it’s right where it should be. I am on another landslide and am hating and enjoying every minute of it. I have found someone wonderful, yet he is making me fall apart inside. No, wait! It’s not him, it’s me! It always has been and all ways will be me! I think terrible things when I am tired. I feel terrible right now. I was fine all day, up until I glanced into this sphere of crystal while shopping at Spirit Ways with Lance. Ever since then I have gone off on some path in which I have never been on before. I zoned out and have not been able to return since. I think sleep will change things, if only I could sleep in his arms while the world went away and we dreamed of nothing made in reality. Every time I lay down in his arms I do not realize how wonderful it feels. Then he goes away, and I miss it so much. Something about him is so right and yet so wrong. Perhaps he is both faces I saw in the mirror. I saw inside of him a little last night, and now I want to see more. I am sick of the superficial outer side, it is now time to dig. It is now time to find out what it was that allured me to him in the first place. Once I break through, I will either rest or never sleep soundly again. And so, the Fool brings me to yet another journey. Forgive my nonsense, I am tired so my thoughts must be hard to follow!