The words ‘I Love You’ echo inside my head. I have always sworn to myself that I would never utter those words to anyone unless I meant them. Of course I have used those words with my family, but as far as saying them to someone of the opposite sex, outside of the family, I have now said it to only two people. The first was Evan. I love him and will always love him. He has always been there for me and it seems that I have let him down. Most people would freak out and say, "how can you love someone you have never met in person"? My response, ‘have you ever fallen so far in your life that you swore there was no return? Have you ever begged for every day to end before it even began? Have you ever dragged yourself through a day when the only reason you had not ended your life was because you lacked the energy to dig the blade deep enough into your wrist?’ WELL I HAVE! Now, what would you say if someone carried you through every day mentally; they were not there physically to take advantage of you or make you feel inferior in any way; all they did was try everything in their power to be there for you? Evan was like that, and now I have betrayed him. Evan, I am so sorry I have hurt you my beloved friend, forgive me?

The second person I have ever said those words to would be my Dark Angel. The first time he said them to me I was taken back a bit. It frightened me, and I did not know what to do. In the past I have had so many boyfriends tell me that they love me, but they did not even know me. Some of them would ask me if I loved them back, but I would respond with, ‘don’t ask me questions’. I would soon break up with them, or them with me. This time it is different. I had already felt it inside from the first instant. I wanted to make sure it was not a superficial rush of judgment on my part, so I held the thought back inside of me. One night Aaron asked me over the phone if I loved Lance. I told him that I thought I was falling for him, but could not tell him first. The next time I saw my Dark Angel he whispered, "I love you" to me. My whole mind went into a mass of swirling chaos. I knew down inside what I felt, yet I had not expected him to tell me so soon.

Lovely Dark Angel, I LOVE YOU!

~Dark Star sends bloody kisses~