10/4/99

Why is it that sometimes you can feel like the world holds you in it’s arms? It mothers you and everyone around you makes you glimmer in the limelight? Then, all of a sudden, all is dark and quiet. It becomes as if you are trapped inside a dark cave. You scream to be heard. The only one who receives your plea is the soul who sent it. The echo makes you realize that you are just that much more lonely. Some times I hate myself. I scorch others who never did anything wrong. Then I turn around and wonder why the fuck I did what I did. To all those I have pissed off or upset, I am sorry. Perhaps I should hold my heart and thoughts in my little black box. Then I am the one who shall forever be punished. Otherwise I could continue to punish myself in the manner that I have been for the past several years. Yet some say the punishment I place upon myself is the same as me punishing those who love me. Damn I am bitter right now! I must go bleed goodnight to all of you who ever cared or cried. I will shut up now.