NOT THE CHURCH TIMES

No. 666 LONDON, TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 1981 PRICE 30p

GROWN MEN WEEP AS ARCHBISHOP RUNCIE SPEAKS OF 'FAIRY-TALE'

Dancing in Streets as Bishop of London is enthroned

Londoners danced in the streets and grown men wept openly for joy down Ludgate Hill as the bells rang out from St. Paul's after the enthronement of Dr Graham Leonard as Lord Bishop of London.
     Crowds, many of whom had camped in the open since the Royal Wedding, waved flags and cheered as the procession drew near the Cathedral, thus ending years of ecclesiastical conspiracy.
     Security was exceptionally tight, with plain-clothes clerics mingling among the crowd in response to fears for the safety of the participants, but the good nature of the expectant throng dismissed any possibility of an affront by Orangemen, Protestants of Una Kroll.

ST. PAUL'S on the day as seen by Mr John Davidson, dancing on his hands in the street.

JOY and happiness radiate from this member of the congregation in the Cathedral.

London's new Bishop

Today's Issue

QUEEN'S CHAPLAIN IN MERCY DASH TO ROYAL CORGI

Full story - page 9

Book reviews ................. 3
Appointments &c ...... 6-7
Devotional ...................... 4
Diocesan News .............. 8
Leading Article ............. 4
Portugal Street Diary .. 5
Readers' Letters .......... 2
Rosamund Wessex ...... 6
Spats shock .................. 2
Thinking it Out ........... 4
Young Readers ............ 5
Return to INDEX

APOLOGY

We apologise for the statement in last week's edition of Not The Church Times that the Archbishop of Canterbury was a Methodist. This was wrong.

       The Madre
Typical of the many who camped was Maurice Norvic. "Praise the Lord," he said, "I've been out here for every one since Winnington-Ingram" (who, if he had been alive today, would have been 128 years old).
   As the carriage procession snaked its way towards the Cathedral escorted by mounted members of the Guild of the Servants of the Sanctuary, the multitudes went wild with excitement. Special cheers were reserved for the Madre, who was resplendent in black taffeta piped with blue silk. But when the Bishop revealed himself in his true colours, the crowds were beside themselves.
        Archimandrite
     The sermon was preached by the Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Runcie, who said: "This is the stuff of which fairytales are made." Prayers were offered by the Moderator of the Cornish Zionist Holiness Assembly and an Archimandrite of the Coptic Monophysite Church.
     Many friends of the Bishop were personally invited to the service, including the embroiderer of his pallium, the Rev. Colin Pugh-Cannon, which added an intimate touch to the occasion.
     At the end of the service, many people were too tired and emotional to speak coherently. The Dean of St. Paul's said: "I am absolutely flabbergasted. I never thought that I would ever live to see the day when such a thing could happen." The Madre commented: "This is the happiest day of our life."

Church to covenant with Vanatu head-hunters

AFTER prolonged discussion and the examination of chicken entrails, the Supreme Council of Papua New Guinean Head-Hunters and Affiliated Shrinkers decided by what was described as "an overwhelming majority" to covenant with the Church of England. Leading ecumenists were staggered by the strength of the decision, backed by 14,000 spears, 289 assorted blunt instruments and a photograph of the Duke of Edinburgh (aged 60).
There were five abstentions in the vote, all of whom are now unfortunately dead. The late Aybang-Aybang briefly mentioned that he disapproved of women officiating at rites, but the Chief replied that although this was notionally possible it was no wore likely to be experienced there than it was in England.
Another opponent of the scheme was the late Wodinga-Madinga, who commented that Apostolic Tradition was incompatible with the native Vanatu Hierarchy of Chief, Witch-doctor

and Sorcerer's Apprentice,but the Chief pointed to the assurance given by Church House that the proposed service of reconciliation and human sacrifice "contains no act that is intended to be or can he taken to be an act of reordination of existing members."
Another critic was the late Wingfield Digby-Wombat, who said that whilst he was happy to meet with Anglicans on a personal gastronomic level, he feared "one vast, monolithic Church". To this the Chief replied that, in his experience, native cannibalism was too narrow and that it would benefit from the greater diversity which convenanting ought to bring.
One observer from Church House commented that such a covenanting scheme would require alteration of the New Calendar to include H.R.H. the Duke of Edinburgh (regarded by many tribes as their god) but this would not cause too much difficulty because he is of one flesh with the Queen. Her Majesty could become

Supreme Governor of both communities, thus adding a new ecumenical dimension to the religious establishment of the realm, being an Anglican in England, a Presbyterian in Scotland and a Witchdoctor (4th Class) in Vanatu.
One of the controversies which has been solved is the adoption of episcopacy, which was an essential pre-requisite of visible union, but Mwunga-Mwunga, Ecumenical and Catering Officer for the Vanatu Synod, said: "We think Bishops are desirable and we will be happy to take them into our system." Sartorial adjustments necessitated by the successful conclusion to the covenant have yet to be fully worked out and will be phased in over a number of years, but it is expected that tribal chiefs will wear mitres in return for an obligatory usage of grass skirts by Suffragan Bishops and above. Watts & Co. are understood to have produced an illus trated catalogue of the new requisites, which is available by return post in a plain brown envelope.

ONCE HE USED TO MAKE MILLIONS LAUGH

but enforced retirement and inflation are no respecters of persons and the need for organisations such as ours is greater now than ever before. We found Donald on the streets of Canterbury and gave him new self-respect and the means to see out his twilight years with dignity; a pension, a seat in the House of Lords and occasional work at Royal Weddings.
There are many others like Donald in all walks of life who depend upon us and on your generosity.
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