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Hi there, nice to see you, come on in
you searching, too? well, i've been trying to locate my birth father for over 3 months now. I'm sure the day will come where we'll say hello ... and take it from there. The invisible helpers have brought me that far, they'll help me get further. the story so far?
my mom was dating my father in 1964 when he based based in zweibrucken/germany with the US Army, military police. he returned in july '64, sent a few letters, and then was never heard of again. by that time she knew she was pregnant, and so did he. she realized he would not return to her before i was born. she asked him, though, through the military HQ, to have his name put on my birth certificate, since he was without any doubt the father. he replied to HQ stating that he could not possibly be the father as he can't have children... he was not quite correct, i'm the living proof. i look like him and i've been wondering all my life if i am like him, too. anyway, my birth certificate does not have his name on it, since my mom wasn't married to him and it was his word against hers and, as happens so often, he was believed by the authorities. a friend of my mom's told her in summer 1965 that he was missed in action in vietnam, where he'd been sent. i spent my childhood believing he was dead and, yes, i did idolize him. i guess any little girl would do that. when i became a teenager, something deep inside me started to have doubts as to whether he was really dead. there was nothing i could do at the time. i was under age, going to school, had no money... after i finished school, i moved to england, since i never quite liked germany, i still don't. england was an easy choice, i was allowed to live and work there, so i started off as an au pair to learn the language. i had no trouble with english, it kind of came to me naturally; no wonder, it must be in the genes... i often thought, one day, when i can afford it, i'll employ a detective and get him to find my father. in the meantime, i got married, had children and lived a happy family life.
then, last year august, my hubby got a job offer for the US. i was excited, the chance of my life had finally come, i could search for my father in his own country, yeah! it was not too hard to convince my family that we should take this chance and start anew in a different country. we've always liked travelling and have stayed in various places for various periods of time: london, israel, germany, rural england, why not try the US. we arrived last november, i was 8 months pregnant and just about made it here without too much discomfort. since december sara has a little brother named avi, the most gorgeous baby in the whole of the universe, and he's a real American. when i recovered from the pregnancy and birth, i finally took up my search seriously. i employed a detective who took a whole week to find the one person the description fitted. very secretive, this man. his phone's unlisted, he's on hardly any credit files; i wonder why... i was ecstatic - i phoned him asking if he was ever based in zweibrucken/ germany. his answer? no, never, got the wrong one... i felt shattered. what to do now? i phoned the army's VA office asking for help. they did confirm that my father is still alive but gave me no other information. i wrote to them asking for information on him referring to the FOIA. and now i'm waiting. i've spoken to a helpline at (800) 937 2133. they're good. very sympathetic, and very helpful. the first time i had the feeling that there are lots of other people about in the same situation, i'm not alone with my status, and certainly not alone with wanting to find my roots. they suggested to sent a letter to the man whose details i got, since it was very likely that he was the one i'm looking for. yes, men in general tend to deny the existence of a kid if they're faced with it, trying to get away, fearing the kid would want to make any claims or accusing them of their irresponsible actions. i've sent him a letter, and now i'm sitting at home, feel as if i'm sitting on hot coal and jump every time the phone rings.
April 25, 1998: things have happened. he sent my letter and the pics back, without any comment. i felt weird, holding them in my hand, thinking now if he really wasn't the one, he would probably have enclosed some note saying something like 'sorry, got the wrong one, good luck in your search'; but no comment??? i feel more and more certain that i have found my birthfather. yesterday, i got his signature back from the post office when he signed for my letter. i compares his signature with the ones i got on my father's letters to my mom. yeah, definitely, it's virtually identical. he hasn't changed his writing much over 34 years! that man denies my very existence. what a gutless being. i'm relieved i haven't got this side of his genes.
i've handed the whole matter over to an attorney. i will get a court ordered DNA test to prove that he is my father. this is not against him, but i'm doing this for myself. i've spent most of my life wondering about my roots. now that i've found them, i'm not giving up.
searching no longer for Edward L Ducker, born on 05/26/1927, definitely comes from Mississippi. He was with the US military police, based in wurzburg, then in zweibrucken, both in germany, until 1964. and he is a liar.
Email: claudiaayaz@yahoo.com
