Men are like.... Laxatives. 

They irritate the shit out of you.
Men are like.... Bananas. 

The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like.... Bank machines. 

Once they withdraw they lose interest.
Men are like.... Weather. 

Nothing can be done to change them.
Men are like.... Blenders. 

You need one, but you're not quite sure why?
Men are like.... Cement. 

After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.
Men are like.... Chocolate Bars.

Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like.... Coffee. 

The best ones are rich, warm and can keep you up all night long.
Men are like.... Commercials.

You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like.... Government bonds. 

They take so long to mature.
Men are like.... Horoscopes.

They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like.... Mascara.

They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like.... Popcorn.

They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like.... Snowstorms. 

You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
Men are like.... Lava Lamps.

Fun to look at, but not very bright.
Men are like.... Parking spots,

All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped