middle ground

 

 

 

Frustration, Aggravation, Irritation-

None of which I can rightly take out on you

But I have to have someone to direct my anger at

 

I don’t want to be caught in the middle of this

But that’s where I always seem to be

Between the two of you

Silently cursing all of us for the situation

 

How am I to deal with someone who wants something else?

And when I won’t speak up for myself,

I can’t demand an answer of you

 

When did I become selfless instead of selfish?

When did I deem the feelings of others more important than my own,

That it’s okay to let everyone hang their burdens

Dreams

And hopes on me

Leaving no room for my own

And letting the pieces of my existence slowly fall to the floor

Each reflecting back another glimpse

Of the future that was once there

 

Who am I to blame for this?

Who can I rightly say ‘You are wrong’ to?

I can’t say with any certainty that you should have known what was happening

And I can’t scream at him for not telling you no

In the first place

And it leaves me in the middle

Wondering what my part in this game is

And whether I want to play at all

 

I’m tired of investing myself and receiving nothing in return

I’m tired of hoping and wishfully thinking

That maybe everything would work this time round

When every time I get a glimpse of happiness

It slips right back into the mists

 

I want to scream at you

I want this to be your fault

I want you to know how much pain I go through

Standing by everyone’s sides and telling them to seek their dreams

To turn their back on what I offer

Just so they can chase after you

Over and over and over again

 

But I won’t scream it at you

Can’t, really

Seeing as I’m more selfless than selfish

And I wouldn’t want to burden you with any of my troubles

Because I want everyone to be happy

Even though that always seems to mean

Forsaking my own

 

The good of the many

Outweighs

The good of the one