Silent

 

~Excuse me but can I be you for awhile?

My dog won’t bite if you sit real still,

I’ve got the anti-Christ in the kitchen

Yelling at me again, yeah I can hear that…~

 

I can hear them still, talking behind my back

I can hear the whispers

How odd I am

How different I am

I’m the small girl standing in the corner

Silently watching from the dark

I was the child with all the answers

And ridiculed by the others

The clichéd ‘teacher’s pet’

But they never knew I tried the teacher’s patience.

And then, in the refuge of my home

Their whispers grow

Echoing in a crescendoing refrain with my parents:

Do more, Do better, Work harder

You know you’re smart enough to do this

But did you ever stop to consider that, maybe,

I didn’t want to?

I was the daydreamer,

The singer,

The artist,

The taleweaver

Scribbling anything but notes

On those torn out pages

Of notebook paper

 

Reviled, revered

 

Ignored

 

I was the child you beat upon

Teased and whispered about

I was the one you approached warily

Only never to gain access and acceptance

In those precious elementary school cliques

 

I kept it all inside,

Locked away so no one could see

No one knew

The spiraling well of self doubt I dwelled in

But now I can’t hold it in anymore

I have to scream it to the world

And make you know

THAT I KNOW EVRYTHING YOU EVER SAID ABOUT ME!

I can still hear your whispers

And now I want to throw them

Back in your fucking face

 

~Cause sometimes I hear my voice

 and its been here, silent all these years~